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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: IF YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND GOT LIFE W/ NO CHANCE OF PAROLE WOULD U STICK AROUND?
YES 100% 153 41.24%
I'D STILL TRY TO VISIT SEND MONEY OR WRITE BUT I WOULD START MY SEARCH FOR SOMEONE NEW 155 41.78%
NO I STILL HAVE SO MUCH OF MY LIFE AHEAD OF ME 63 16.98%
Voters: 371. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 01-18-2011, 05:19 PM
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As some said before, it's hard to tell unless you're in the situation.

Yes, I would, and he does have LWOP.
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  #77  
Old 01-18-2011, 05:25 PM
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I would stand by him 100%
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  #78  
Old 01-18-2011, 06:33 PM
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I love him but no...I'd support him and visit him sure. But I haven't even started my life yet to put it on hold for something he did...
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  #79  
Old 01-18-2011, 08:15 PM
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I can honestly say no. I would write, send money and visit because I can't see myself turning my back on him but I wouldn't have anything to look forward to. I've said this before that if he expected or asked me to wait, it would be selfish on his part. I love him like I've never loved anyone else before. Doing this bid with him now is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Not because I'm weak, but because I could never have imagined the incredible loss I feel without him. But I find solace and comfort in knowing he'll be home soon and that is my something to look forward to. If I got sentenced to life, I would not allow him to do that time with me. It is my time to do, not his. The same rule applies... harsh maybe, but true. Good poll.
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  #80  
Old 01-18-2011, 08:38 PM
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I say yes bc my man was facing 25 to Life & i stood by him & we got married knowing the possibilities. Luckly he got away with time served bc the "victim" didn't show up but i just can't live without my baby in my life. I can't say 100% bc things happen but i would say 99%.
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  #81  
Old 01-19-2011, 01:11 AM
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At this point there is no one else I want to spend my life with, but at the same time we never know where life or circumstances will take us. So while I want to say yes, I can't be 100% sure.
Edited to add: I mean I will ALWAYS be there for him, provide for him etc. but as far as being in a relationship, I don't know.
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  #82  
Old 01-19-2011, 07:39 AM
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I have a question--as I've been reading through the thread, alot of you ladies are saying you'd still write, send money, visit, etc cause you love him. Wouldn't that make it harder on him? You don't want to be with him, so why not just pull the plug on it? Don't torture the guy with visits! Let him move on and possibly find someone else, you know? I get that you still support them but to me it seems like it'd only make it harder on them to constantly be reminded of the one person they wanted to be with but couldn't do the bid with them. Just something I was thinking about.
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  #83  
Old 01-19-2011, 08:42 AM
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I would have to say no, I would definitely write, email, visit and send money when I can, but realisticly speaking I would have to move on with my life as far as relationships go. I couldn't see myself just turning my back on him but I will not put the rest of my life on hold, but I would support him.
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  #84  
Old 01-19-2011, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil peep View Post
I have a question--as I've been reading through the thread, alot of you ladies are saying you'd still write, send money, visit, etc cause you love him. Wouldn't that make it harder on him? You don't want to be with him, so why not just pull the plug on it? Don't torture the guy with visits! Let him move on and possibly find someone else, you know? I get that you still support them but to me it seems like it'd only make it harder on them to constantly be reminded of the one person they wanted to be with but couldn't do the bid with them. Just something I was thinking about.
I disagree.I know marc would have no one standing by him and i know if i was facing life i'd be happy for ANY friends i could get who i knew cared about me.I can't imagine how cold and lonely a place prison would be like having to do a life sentence alone.now if he met someone vial a penpal ad and wanted to start a relationship i would have no problem stepping aside.The bible says we are to visit those in prison.I would have no problem visiting him as a friend as long as he needed me to.If he asked me to stop i would understand that,too.
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  #85  
Old 01-19-2011, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by LoveBuggy View Post
Are you saying women can't remain celibate? What about the long haul ladies?What about women that don't define a relationship by it's sex life?

Just thoughts to ponder.
Going without sex for the rest of your life doesn't even fall into the "celibate" category to me. Lol. If you can't have sex forever, that's a permanent born again virgin. Not judging anyone who commits to doing so, I just couldn't!
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  #86  
Old 01-19-2011, 08:36 PM
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mine has JLWOP........but he is talking with lawyers and what not, to get his case overturned...............i do hope he gets out, will it happen?? we don't know, but my guy is not giving up............so I guess, with me hoping & wishing he gets out, yeah I stand by his side........again........if I knew he had **no chance** ever of getting out..........sigh, i am not sure what I would/will do..........i guess i'd have to say "no comment" for now.
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  #87  
Old 01-19-2011, 10:38 PM
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Originally Posted by MELROSEPL View Post
mine has JLWOP........but he is talking with lawyers and what not, to get his case overturned...............i do hope he gets out, will it happen?? we don't know, but my guy is not giving up............so I guess, with me hoping & wishing he gets out, yeah I stand by his side........again........if I knew he had **no chance** ever of getting out..........sigh, i am not sure what I would/will do..........i guess i'd have to say "no comment" for now.

my honest opinion (i bet everyone is like oh Gosh here she goes with her honest opinions lol) if u have a man that gets life and he's fighting to come home then you stand next to him and fight with him as long as he's fighting you stay by his side but if it turns out there is no chance and never will be then you start to move on but I dont think u should completely turn ur back on someone cuz they are always gonna need a friend
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  #88  
Old 01-19-2011, 10:50 PM
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i wouldn't but would still be his friend. Have to move on with life for our daughter's sake and myself as well
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  #89  
Old 01-24-2011, 03:36 PM
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I dont know. I love him and cant imagine my life without him, but im lonely enough as it is now. It doesnt help ive had no communication with him for over 4 months.
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Old 01-24-2011, 04:07 PM
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This is deep. Can't say I would or wouldn't, but I would definitely try my best to hang in there. I pray I would have the strength, courage, patience, & love to do just that.
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  #91  
Old 01-25-2011, 10:08 PM
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Wow I dont even know how to answer that. I married my husband for better or for worse so I want to say yes. Although I also married him to have a family and to be there for me in the good and the bad. I honestly cant give you a yes or know answer. I do know that no matter what I would be there for him. I just dont know to what extreme
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  #92  
Old 01-26-2011, 12:48 AM
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i would have to say no because i am young and want more out of life. i would still be there to accept phones, visit, and write him. hes my best friend and nothing will change that. i love him but he would want me to be happy.
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  #93  
Old 01-26-2011, 01:23 AM
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my babe has LWOP plus 150 years and I'm not going to leave him. It gets hard but shit that's my boo.
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  #94  
Old 01-26-2011, 01:26 AM
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I honestly couldn't do it mayself. I give mad props 2 those of you that can though. This bid is 6 more years & I'm not gonna lie. It's hard.
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  #95  
Old 01-26-2011, 12:05 PM
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ill try my best to stick around but hey if i cant take it anymore ill def move on but ill still do what i can for him he is my first love and the father to my kids!
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  #96  
Old 01-26-2011, 12:58 PM
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Yes!!! I would and I am. I have known since we were 12 that he is my soulmate. We were supposed to marry after high school but he started a life in the streets so eventually I walked away, sort of, I always told whoever I dated that if Eric got his act together I would marry him. The last time we saw each other before he got locked up, I let him know he needed to get his act together asap because someone else wanted to marry me. He said he couldn't leave the streets then and guarantee we would be safe and if the other guy could make me happy he wouldn't stand in my way. He then got even deeper into the streets to get his mind off me marrying someone else-which I didn't do. Next thing I know he's locked up. In the begining he wanted me to be happy with a "free" man. I tried to fool myself into thinking I could be. Finally I was real with myself-I wil never love another man the way I love Eric. So after years of me not dating, nor having sex, we both realized what we knew at 12, this is no ordinary love. So now, at 36 we are FINALLY getting married!! it is not always easy. People often ask " What can he do for you locked up?" My answer-He can do more for me locked up than you could with a lifetime of freedom!!
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  #97  
Old 01-26-2011, 01:55 PM
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Yea i would probubly marry him and try to have as much as a normal life as possible....me and adam have a one of a kind relationship and i know he would have my best intersts in mind
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  #98  
Old 01-27-2011, 12:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustaNJgirl View Post
My guy got life with no parole...I'm still with him.
Stay encouraged I just heard about a guy down here in Ga who started out with Lnp and the commuted it to life. He was out 3 years later. I have learned so much in the last few weeks from my boyfriends faith friends.
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisacoop View Post
my babe has LWOP plus 150 years and I'm not going to leave him. It gets hard but shit that's my boo.
Just heard a story about a guy with life no parole who is out walking now. Don't give in to hopelessness. I have to admire you tho. I have only done 3 on my mans mandatory 10.
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  #100  
Old 01-27-2011, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tchavon1984 View Post
If your man got the ultimate sentence other than death life with no parole would you stay by his side
I'm 19, I really don't think I would stay with my husband. I love him so much. But my best friend is going through that right now, her boyfriend of 4 years just recieved the hard 50. I hate seeing her go through it. It's just not possible for me to even think it's realistic. I would have some love for him. But he was obviously being 100% selfish when he did what he wud do to get that kind of sentence and not thinking of me, so he can't expect me to just live this life forever. :P
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