Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Loving a prisoner. Is it different than loving someone that isn't
Yes 684 61.62%
No 361 32.52%
Not really sure 65 5.86%
Voters: 1110. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #376  
Old 03-12-2013, 01:31 PM
VinnysGirl's Avatar
VinnysGirl VinnysGirl is offline
Life,love,stress&setbacks
 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,497
Thanks: 201
Thanked 831 Times in 469 Posts
Default

It's different in all ways...positive and negative. I still wouldn't trade him for the world!!
__________________
"Love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation"


Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #377  
Old 03-13-2013, 02:17 PM
kocha79's Avatar
kocha79 kocha79 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 489
Thanks: 532
Thanked 332 Times in 179 Posts
Default

Yes it is different. I believe it's stronger.

We go without things that many "normal" relationships take for granted - privacy and free communication being big ones. We learn to deal with those things together.

We appreciate the small things. My man and I make sure we say I love you at the end of every call, visit and letter - because we honestly don't know when we will get to say it next.

Also, you really get to know your significant other. We don't get all the physical contact and shallow ego boosts that will keep many relationships together. We get to talk - and that's about it. We are on a deeper level.

Of course there is always the negative - where much of the relationship seems to be one sided. They aren't here to make a lot of the day - to - day decisions, they aren't here to help with bills and kids etc. We are the ones that have to take the time out of our day(s) to go visit them. They contribute what they can - but many things they simply can't do.

But strength comes out of the negative too.

We strengthen our trust and our patience.
For me, I have learned how to make decisions - I used to be (and still am sometimes) VERY indecisive.
I'm currently getting a crash course in time and money management.
The men learn to deal with the women taking care of business (which I know was/is tough for D specifically).

It's not that I would love him less if he had never gotten locked up, but our relationship may or may not have gotten to this point - it definitely wouldn't have gotten here this fast.
__________________
I may not know what you're going through
But time is the space between me and you
There is a light through that window
Hold on say yes, while people say no

Last edited by kocha79; 03-13-2013 at 02:19 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kocha79 For This Useful Post:
AYD1199 (06-22-2018), ybrady72 (01-22-2018)
  #378  
Old 03-14-2013, 11:08 AM
Grad0507's Avatar
Grad0507 Grad0507 is offline
Cockeyed Optimist
 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: VA, USA
Posts: 510
Thanks: 391
Thanked 134 Times in 101 Posts
Default

If you're the type to stay abstinent before marriage, then dating an inmate is the way to go.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Grad0507 For This Useful Post:
ybrady72 (01-22-2018)
  #379  
Old 03-14-2013, 09:24 PM
HIZROCKSTAR's Avatar
HIZROCKSTAR HIZROCKSTAR is offline
his queen <3
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: new york usa
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 4 Times in 1 Post
Default

well being with an inmate is way different from a guy on the outside both good and bad but its like u can get to know eachother n express eachothers feels from within and grow without the sex n once u start to feel strongly bout someone and u haven't had sex wit them then i feel that's deep but see then after awhile u too want to have sex lol then that's hard to want to hold the person n u cant call or see him the way u want to theres days u wish he was right next to u theres a lot running thru ur mind n and it can get stressful
Reply With Quote
  #380  
Old 03-16-2013, 05:29 PM
MonalovesMiguel's Avatar
MonalovesMiguel MonalovesMiguel is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: .
Posts: 375
Thanks: 547
Thanked 172 Times in 138 Posts
Default

So much more intense!!! But so worth it!!!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MonalovesMiguel For This Useful Post:
Bpoulos (08-07-2013), lolalovinJJM (04-29-2013)
  #381  
Old 04-19-2013, 03:50 PM
Iceony76 Iceony76 is offline
Account Closed
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 676
Thanks: 88
Thanked 275 Times in 233 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonalovesMiguel
So much more intense!!! But so worth it!!!
I agree!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #382  
Old 04-29-2013, 05:41 AM
Deirdre13's Avatar
Deirdre13 Deirdre13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 545
Thanks: 790
Thanked 464 Times in 254 Posts
Default

i think it's as mona said, 'so much more intense,and so worth it'. the OP also added in her post about the people that look down on MWI's. i think that is because of the type of women that the media uses in it's shows on prison wives,of course some of the posts by MWI women don't help in getting rid of the stigma. just sayin'...
__________________

Last edited by Deirdre13; 04-29-2013 at 05:42 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #383  
Old 04-29-2013, 08:46 PM
frankiebaby frankiebaby is offline
Counting the days...
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 77
Thanks: 55
Thanked 20 Times in 14 Posts
Default

Unconditional love is the same regardless of location. The ways in which it manifests itself may be different but love never is.
Reply With Quote
  #384  
Old 04-29-2013, 10:35 PM
MizFormaldehyde MizFormaldehyde is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 174
Thanks: 13
Thanked 30 Times in 23 Posts
Default

While the circumstances are certainly drastically different at times, I don't think the emotional aspect of love changes.
__________________
"It's always the darkest before the sun rises."-Tupac Shakur



Marissa & Brian Burkhardt
VXIIIXII
XIIXXXIXIII
Always




Reply With Quote
  #385  
Old 04-30-2013, 07:00 AM
hoppin's Avatar
hoppin hoppin is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 324
Thanks: 521
Thanked 356 Times in 168 Posts
Default

No difference: the relationship feels just as wonderful when its good, and just as awful when its bad.
Reply With Quote
  #386  
Old 05-03-2013, 12:19 AM
wedding_singer wedding_singer is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Utah
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

My fiance recently got incarcerated in Utah and I feel like this situation is making our relationship stronger than ever! If we get through this we can overcome any obstacle that comes our way, that's how I see it. Sadly situations like these show you how much love there is between a couple.
Reply With Quote
  #387  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:42 PM
mrs.beautifly1's Avatar
mrs.beautifly1 mrs.beautifly1 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: In his embrace
Posts: 453
Thanks: 71
Thanked 113 Times in 73 Posts
Default

well i voted for not sure only because iv only been in on Real relationship with my ex . I was 13 when i was with .him til 24 . . But my relationship now is the best everything thats ever happened to me :-) .... Its a strong friendship partnership companionship . .
Reply With Quote
  #388  
Old 08-02-2013, 07:13 PM
Life2gether's Avatar
Life2gether Life2gether is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mount Vernon Missouri
Posts: 327
Thanks: 34
Thanked 222 Times in 126 Posts
Default

Love is love it does not make any difference if he is on the inside or the outside. It is a lot like any other long distance relationship, instead of going places together you share your lives by mail and phone calls and if you are lucky enough to live close enough to visit frequently you get to talk face to face.
__________________
******************************************
It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.
******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #389  
Old 08-02-2013, 08:32 PM
babygirl350 babygirl350 is offline
Peaceful
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 11,508
Thanks: 1,056
Thanked 1,088 Times in 567 Posts
Default

I think it is different in that there are different challenges with an inmate verses a free person.

I think the depth of love can be the same, I just feel we have more challenges. We also have to be more independant while we are involved with someone locked up.

Just my thoughts.
__________________
Our dear friend Rosa passed away on 7 November 2014.
She was a kind, gentle soul who always took the time to welcome newcomers with an encouraging post and helping hand.
She made our forum a better place.
May she rest in peace.

~ PTO Administrators and Staff

Reply With Quote
  #390  
Old 08-05-2013, 11:00 PM
KC'sDiamond KC'sDiamond is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 26
Thanks: 20
Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts
Default

I don't feel that the love is different, love is love. However depending on how committed the two involved are two each other is where a persons character will truly tell all. I say this because you have some men that may be incarcerated and feel that the woman he treated badly while he was out is obligated to be there for him, my hubby tells me how he hears some of the guys talking about their girls, which is sad because this is taking away time from the person who is waiting on them. Now if the two involved is truly committed to each other than the bond that grows will be one that no outside person or situation could ever come between. During this time you begin to reflect on things that you once thought was important and when you look back at it now it seems so foolish. I have family and friends who take their love ones for granted, argue about things of little importance and take for granted that they have the person that they love right next to them. I can tell you that during this journey we have both learned so much about ourselves as individuals as well as a couple, during this time I have learned patience, communication, to listen and most important the difference between love, lust and intimacy. A lot of times we say that we love a person but honestly have become lost in the sexual emotions that once they fade realize that you really don't like that person at all. And that's where the difference is, when you're in love with an inmate the first lesson we as women learn is forgiveness, because the second thing you feel is anger after the first feeling you have of heartache upon realizing that you have to be away from the man you're in love with. But we as strong women know what needs to be done if we decide to stick with our man. This is also a time of reflection for that man as well, everyday that he is in there he is constantly reminded of what he did to be taken away from his family, and I will tell you this if that man has a strong relationship with his children then it is a double stab in the heart for them. But one thing I believe we all can agree upon is when that man see how "truly" supportive that we are then he would have finally experienced what a true love is, so if you can make it through this then why would you ever sweat the small stuff.

I wanna share something that my hubby shared with me it was a passage from a book that he was reading that struck a cord.

Love is a mystery. We embrace it where we can. Mostly, we do not choose whom we love. I just happens. A voice speaks to us in ways the ear cannot hear. We recognize a beauty that the eye do not see. We experience a change in our hearts that no voice can describe. There is no evil in love...

When a man can honestly tell you that the way he feels for you is indescribable and saying I love you doesn't seem enough that is when you will find peace in your heart about your decision to stick with that man during this dark time.. There is nothing but light towards the end of this journey.
__________________
Time does NOT exist, therefore it does NOT affect me.
Reply With Quote
  #391  
Old 08-07-2013, 03:40 PM
JacksGirl's Avatar
JacksGirl JacksGirl is offline
Remember to Smile!
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: California
Posts: 965
Thanks: 68
Thanked 156 Times in 85 Posts
Default

I don't think the "love" is any different but the dynamics of the relationship are different. I think I posted in a different thread, our love and commitment is no different but the luxuries and options that exist in relationships with people in the free world just don't exist in our relationship.

For me it doesn't make it bad or good, it just makes it different.

I agree with optimistic the Love is not different, but the dynamics of the relationship are.
Reply With Quote
  #392  
Old 01-21-2018, 09:47 AM
Kirin's Avatar
Kirin Kirin is offline
Coopers disciple
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Germany
Posts: 258
Thanks: 10
Thanked 129 Times in 82 Posts
Default

Not for me, everyone has a different lifestyle, prison is one of them even though not a chosen one. You love someone, you deal with their situation.
Reply With Quote
  #393  
Old 01-26-2018, 06:27 AM
nygirl17 nygirl17 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,073
Thanks: 136
Thanked 2,497 Times in 1,572 Posts
Default

The only thing different in my eyes is that we are not psycally together. Once every two weeks is about the same as a long distance relationship with no sex. Our friendship is stronger and our love has grown deeper. Now I only think about him coming home and how great it's going to be getting back to our lives together. He's so good to me.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #394  
Old 04-25-2018, 08:45 PM
AndyS's Avatar
AndyS AndyS is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas US
Posts: 1,353
Thanks: 1,710
Thanked 2,707 Times in 942 Posts
Default

Absolutely!
__________________
A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.

“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own”
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to AndyS For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (05-03-2018)
  #395  
Old 05-04-2018, 12:47 AM
Revenwyn's Avatar
Revenwyn Revenwyn is offline
Married May 27, 2017!
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California, USA- Husband in Colorado
Posts: 695
Thanks: 570
Thanked 512 Times in 263 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
The only thing different in my eyes is that we are not psycally together. Once every two weeks is about the same as a long distance relationship with no sex. Our friendship is stronger and our love has grown deeper. Now I only think about him coming home and how great it's going to be getting back to our lives together. He's so good to me.
I will probably have gone a whole year without seeing him by the time I see him next, sadly.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #396  
Old 05-08-2018, 02:52 PM
LeaLea LeaLea is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 233
Thanks: 121
Thanked 228 Times in 131 Posts
Default

Nah, he’d still be a pain in the a** even if he was out! ��

It involves a hell of a lot of patience and so much more worry. However he is the same person regardless of where he is and that’s all that matters really.

I think you have a deeper love and understanding for each other. You discuss things that perhaps you wouldn’t with someone on the outside. You learn not to sweat the small stuff as much and appreciate the simple joys in your relationship.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeaLea For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (05-12-2018)
  #397  
Old 05-12-2018, 04:17 PM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,145
Thanks: 2,924
Thanked 3,322 Times in 1,454 Posts
Default

I had a visit again today and I'm still in heaven but yes, it is different. I feel a lot of times I'm loving with the "parking brake" on. I cannot let loose completely until he gets out and we'll see where to go from there - together or not.
But it's okay, we talk about it, it's just different if you didn't know each other before he went in.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
maytayah (06-08-2018), Sarianna (05-13-2018)
  #398  
Old 05-12-2018, 05:31 PM
gusstanthony's Avatar
gusstanthony gusstanthony is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 11
Thanked 19 Times in 9 Posts
Default

What I've seen is that couples who are physically separated and still stay together develop a spiritual bond that is often far stronger than the connection between men and women with physical access to each other. Also, they value the brief times they can share together far more highly and don't take each other for granted.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to gusstanthony For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (06-08-2018), Sarianna (05-13-2018)
  #399  
Old 05-23-2018, 04:54 AM
QueenButta QueenButta is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 5
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Default

I honestly never thought I could love someone who was incarcerated that just wasn't my cup of tea.. But you cant help how u feel and who u feel it for.. I love him with every fiber in me .. Many may not understand that love .. But like I tell him Whats understood between us doesn't have to be explained. My hunny has 6 years left and some days it takes a toll on me .. But my heart and emotions wont allow myself to even think of going anywhere.. Even though he's where he is; hes my biggest supporter and is here for me no matter what and for this I will always have his back
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to QueenButta For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (05-23-2018)
  #400  
Old 06-16-2018, 08:03 AM
a.rare.love's Avatar
a.rare.love a.rare.love is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,034
Thanks: 4,655
Thanked 665 Times in 469 Posts
Default

hola todo ...(hi all)
y' GM...

I think it es simply more intense, but only to a point..

Only diff es:

>No regular calls and text, when they want et.al.,
>visitation/seeing each other. That's the only diff to me.
-
Hugs and Blessings to all. Enjoy your weekend Pto'ers.
Adios...
__________________
"Pensando en ti, g-man."
CONSISTENCY..."is key." If a man wants better, he'll show it 24-7 with action,loyalty,maturity,respect to his el reina,(his queen)
Without "action" applied to his words, it's not real."#BeSmart #DON'T SETTLE Life is just too short not to be happy en vida..."
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:59 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics