Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehabilitation > Friends & Families of Addicts
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-22-2014, 06:49 PM
Mikesgirl73's Avatar
Mikesgirl73 Mikesgirl73 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 705
Thanks: 647
Thanked 963 Times in 365 Posts
Default Him and addiction

So, just got off the phone with the love of my life earlier. And it went extremely well. We actually talked like the adults we are supposed to be, lol.
So, I assume I am not alone in the fact the this sh*t is hard! Some days harder than others. I miss him so much some days all I can do is cry.
We both are concerned with when he is released. He and I both have a really ugly past with addiction. He said on the phone "Baby, it won't be the lack of love between us that separate's us, it will be our willingness to follow each other to the depths of hell for another hit". So true. But, we are communicating about it. He can't get in anymore trouble. Although, he will be off paper, he has a stack of felonies. He will go back for life if anything else happens. I don't want to see that happen. More importantly, I don't want to see myself lose everything I have fought so hard to get back. Do any of you ladies go through addiction stuff also with your guy?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 08-22-2014, 07:50 PM
LillyVphoenix's Avatar
LillyVphoenix LillyVphoenix is offline
Spook's Lazy Butt
 

Join Date: May 2014
Location: Home is AZ/ my heart is in Tennessee
Posts: 1,444
Thanks: 271
Thanked 981 Times in 634 Posts
Default

addiction is really hard, i walked away from my ex husband of 5 years because no matter what he loved drugs more then me, after that relationship i fell into addiction my self i was on drugs when i met my bf now we are MWI but i had to stop drugs because of him, i looked at it this way, how can i be here for him if i go to prison, and hes already in prison. i had to find other things to occupy my time, find a passion in something else and put the effort into it.
__________________
We're fearless, we're stupid, we're dealers, we're losers.
We're killers, we're orphans, we're addicts, we're stealers.
We're shooters so kill us. We are what they say we are until conformity hits us.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LillyVphoenix For This Useful Post:
Mikesgirl73 (08-22-2014)
  #3  
Old 08-22-2014, 08:11 PM
Mikesgirl73's Avatar
Mikesgirl73 Mikesgirl73 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 705
Thanks: 647
Thanked 963 Times in 365 Posts
Default

Yea my latest little stunt in county did not make him happy. AT all. Rightfully so, I suppose.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-22-2014, 09:07 PM
Gawgapeach's Avatar
Gawgapeach Gawgapeach is offline
Heathen
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 411
Thanks: 227
Thanked 492 Times in 238 Posts
Default

I am older then you I am 100 percent sure. So don't take this as harsh or mean but the truth. Put your big girl panties on and help your self. You can't drag another human being up unless you are clear and strong. The only way to help him is to help your self. I have followed your posts Grow up that means being responsible for your self, for being accountable to your self and do what you need to do, career, education and making amends. It's not easy but it's necessary to move
up and onward. After you do for you then maybe you can offer him something. This isn't ment in rudeness but in the truth
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Gawgapeach For This Useful Post:
Chapel (08-22-2014), frostwoman1954 (08-22-2014), LillyVphoenix (08-22-2014), Mikesgirl73 (08-22-2014), Monkey Mookie (08-22-2014), xolady (08-23-2014)
  #5  
Old 08-22-2014, 09:25 PM
Mikesgirl73's Avatar
Mikesgirl73 Mikesgirl73 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 705
Thanks: 647
Thanked 963 Times in 365 Posts
Default

Not offended at all ms gawga. I'm aware of this. Trust and believe I've had to face some ugly "truth's" about myself lately. Not easily done, but necessary.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mikesgirl73 For This Useful Post:
xolady (08-23-2014)
  #6  
Old 08-22-2014, 09:35 PM
Gawgapeach's Avatar
Gawgapeach Gawgapeach is offline
Heathen
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 411
Thanks: 227
Thanked 492 Times in 238 Posts
Default

Listen butter cup love isn't really soft and sweet its hard and it's long and it's dirty. It says the ugly truth and stands there to defend it. It's not a willing Sid kick its the light at the end of a tunnel. So with or without, love yourself, and if he is worthy he will find his way, if not oh well. You may loose him or not but don't loose your self

I'm not preaching to you just saying

Last edited by Gawgapeach; 08-22-2014 at 09:38 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Gawgapeach For This Useful Post:
Monkey Mookie (08-22-2014), xolady (08-23-2014)
  #7  
Old 08-22-2014, 09:48 PM
Mikesgirl73's Avatar
Mikesgirl73 Mikesgirl73 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 705
Thanks: 647
Thanked 963 Times in 365 Posts
Default

Quote:
Listen butter cup
Buttercup? lol. I got you. Respect the honesty ;-)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-23-2014, 01:55 PM
xolady xolady is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2014
Location: highlands, florida
Posts: 5,738
Thanks: 12,223
Thanked 5,948 Times in 3,103 Posts
Default

Yes me and my husband have a long ass road of addictions. I think I slide through a lot of problems that he didn't. When he comes home this time we are living a whole different life. I live in a very rural area, granted if I want dope I can find it. I choose not to be around it and if he does he's doing it w/out me. I think it had a lot to do with finally growing up, I had to. I was a walking zombie!! I'd stay up for weeks at a time then just collapse. Then I'd sleep walk, very scary waking up not knowing where I was or how I got there. This was all after he got arrested and judge revoked his bond. We talk about the bad stuff that's happened to us both because of drugs. Mainly we talk about how much nicer life is with out them.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to xolady For This Useful Post:
AnarchyHeart (08-23-2014), crazylove25 (08-24-2014), Mikesgirl73 (08-27-2014)
  #9  
Old 08-27-2014, 11:20 AM
shortcake4206's Avatar
shortcake4206 shortcake4206 is offline
Doughgirl
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Indiana, US
Posts: 11
Thanks: 15
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default

Mine is currently in and now sentenced to finish out his remaining probation due to having 3 dirty drops in 2 months. He has had addiction issues for years. While I enjoy my natural self-medication still, it's nearly legal, I have struggled with some other addiction issues. I feel I was able to get a hold on it rather quickly. We have kept each other clean of our culprit for 2 years, until he slipped up. However, he had other addictions as well. We currently have a 4 month old son, I tried to get him to stay clean during my pregnancy for when the baby arrived. He dropped dirty after our son was born and has been in for 2 months now. He'll have to do 9 total unless he can find other ways to reduce it. The time isn't that long, except he can not hold his son. He calls several times a day and we video visit 3x a week but it isn't the same. Since he's been gone, I slipped once. But, I know my triggers and I'm really all my son has at the moment, I had to get my head out of my a** quickly. I know this is something he's struggled with most his life and he had a lot of stress happen before he left, but I'm still angry deep inside that we are now in this situation. He says that things will change and he's getting a handle on it all. He's actually a smart guy and realistic about himself. I'm afraid that what he's saying now though will change when he comes home. He'll be off probation and everything finally when he gets home. But, he's in the same boat, he catches another case and he'll be gone for life. He missed 5 years with his other 2 kids. For his and our son's sake, I don't want him missing anymore time with us.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-27-2014, 11:37 AM
LifeTraveler's Avatar
LifeTraveler LifeTraveler is offline
Crazy Cajun Super Moderator

PTOQ Editorial Team Member PTO Super Moderator 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Louisiana, USA
Posts: 16,700
Thanks: 16,611
Thanked 18,181 Times in 7,109 Posts
Default

Hi there. I moved your thread over to this forum because this forum is more about addiction, etc, etc.
__________________
Life Traveler
Super Moderator
LASO, Immigration, Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehab, Louisiana, Ohio











Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LifeTraveler For This Useful Post:
xolady (08-27-2014)
  #11  
Old 08-27-2014, 02:54 PM
Sammy's Girl's Avatar
Sammy's Girl Sammy's Girl is offline
My ❤ is in Cali Moderator

Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,371
Thanks: 384
Thanked 960 Times in 657 Posts
Default

Heroin and the chasing of it was a large portion of my guy's first 2 strikes. He did get a possession charge with his 3rd strike, but the other charges were the real problem.

He is pretty anti drug now, and wasn't even crazy when I told him I occasionally take rx meds for my back (had a work injury and failed back surgery.)
__________________
.
>
.
CDCr kicked him out of the SHU, YAY!!!
.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-27-2014, 10:20 PM
Mikesgirl73's Avatar
Mikesgirl73 Mikesgirl73 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 705
Thanks: 647
Thanked 963 Times in 365 Posts
Default

We met using together. It's actually kind of ironic...I was on the street and so was he, he saw me and said he knew I KNEW where to get some dope...he walked up to me and ask and I was like "Nah dude you look like a cop" (And he does!) Anyway, he was like "No I swear, look I just got out of Prison , here's my prison I.D, I got $300" I was like..ummmm ok then...haha. Anywhoo..that was the beginning for us. It was not pretty, we saw a lot of darkness and things got ugly. We managed to get it together for a while and stay away from the dope (crack cocaine), but ended up back there. I was with him the night he was arrested, we had been "hustling". After he left, there I was, still getting high acting a damn fool. Took me a long time to pull it together. But I have done that. Yea I still have a long way to go, but I stay away from people who get high. I Don't smoke crack cocaine anymore and just have decided that there's a lot more to life than crack, a crack pipe and a piece of brillo!!
I spent way to many years losing the people I love and everything I worked for over and over again. It just isn't worth it.
I just worry about he and I together sometimes, because although he is VERY adamant about not going back down that road again and so am I, we all know it only takes one. Well for me anyway. One just ain't ever enough. And although I do well with it now, I just hope and pray he doesn't ever say "Baby, let's go get a rock" because then I have to make a decision. My Man or my life. And today I would have to pick my life. I've came to damn far to go back.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mikesgirl73 For This Useful Post:
Sammy's Girl (08-28-2014), xolady (08-27-2014)
  #13  
Old 08-28-2014, 09:04 AM
Sammy's Girl's Avatar
Sammy's Girl Sammy's Girl is offline
My ❤ is in Cali Moderator

Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,371
Thanks: 384
Thanked 960 Times in 657 Posts
Default

Sounds like you are making a smart decision.

It does get easier with time and a change of scenery (location, friends, etc.) Have you considered meetings? I never did them, but there were many times I would have really liked the support.
__________________
.
>
.
CDCr kicked him out of the SHU, YAY!!!
.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-29-2014, 09:24 PM
bumblebee37's Avatar
bumblebee37 bumblebee37 is offline
tired
 

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: my own personal hell
Posts: 4,559
Thanks: 8,670
Thanked 14,167 Times in 3,687 Posts
Default

I know I can't be with someone that has the same addiction as me because if he fell I would probably go back too. But that's me and I still have to protect my sobriety. I can only work 1 program and am not strong enough yet to mentor or sponsor.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:31 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics