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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #1  
Old 07-14-2014, 10:47 AM
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Zumbagirl63 Zumbagirl63 is offline
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Default No one is immune to addiction.......

I am 31 years clean and sober. My sister took her life at 35 as an alcoholic. I thought for many years my sister and I were the weak links in the family. My 2 brothers were addicted to their careers. Very successful, highly educated.
My oldest brother had a very high profile career fighting drugs, putting people in jail etc etc. In 2011 he was arrested for meth. He sat in the jail that was named for him. A meth addict...at 68 years of age. His sentence was considered light by the media and he violated his parole and now sits in prison. I pray he can see while there that we are ALL fallible. That his ego is smashed and he can achieve some sort of humility. Certainly one would think that has already been done and to an extent it has.
I thank God everyday that I am clean and sober. I was 32 when that happened. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone affected by addiction. I have been on both sides of it. Cunning, baffling, powerful. It robs us of everything we hold dear. The people we love are replaced by this person who will do anything to feed that animal.
But there is hope. My sister didn't get there. Some of your children didn't either.
They were not bad people in any way. Just reaching out to feel better.
My brother, my hero ,all my life has lost everything. His family, his home, his sterling career, but he can still win this battle and reclaim his life. One day at a time.
Thank you all for being here. You give me hope
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  #2  
Old 07-14-2014, 01:06 PM
ShellyUK ShellyUK is offline
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Originally Posted by Zumbagirl63 View Post
I am 31 years clean and sober. My sister took her life at 35 as an alcoholic. I thought for many years my sister and I were the weak links in the family. My 2 brothers were addicted to their careers. Very successful, highly educated.
My oldest brother had a very high profile career fighting drugs, putting people in jail etc etc. In 2011 he was arrested for meth. He sat in the jail that was named for him. A meth addict...at 68 years of age. His sentence was considered light by the media and he violated his parole and now sits in prison. I pray he can see while there that we are ALL fallible. That his ego is smashed and he can achieve some sort of humility. Certainly one would think that has already been done and to an extent it has.
I thank God everyday that I am clean and sober. I was 32 when that happened. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone affected by addiction. I have been on both sides of it. Cunning, baffling, powerful. It robs us of everything we hold dear. The people we love are replaced by this person who will do anything to feed that animal.
But there is hope. My sister didn't get there. Some of your children didn't either.
They were not bad people in any way. Just reaching out to feel better.
My brother, my hero ,all my life has lost everything. His family, his home, his sterling career, but he can still win this battle and reclaim his life. One day at a time.
Thank you all for being here. You give me hope
Thanks for sharing. Wishing your brother, yourself and all your family all the luck, strength and happiness in the world.
Like you say 'one day at a time' is the best way to live in these situations
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Old 07-14-2014, 03:00 PM
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Zumbagirl - First off, I'd like to congratulate you on 31 years clean and sober. That is awesome and something I hope my son will achieve someday. I am very sorry to hear about your sister and now your brother. It just proves that addiction is everywhere and that it doesn't discriminate when it comes to who it affects. As many of us like to say, it is truly the devil and it takes a lot of strength and courage for the addict to look the other way and choose recovery. I will keep your brother in my thoughts and prayers, but with you in his corner his chances of winning the battle are even greater. You sound like an amazing sister and he is very lucky.

I read your post to my husband and as I was doing so, I choked up. Your words really got to me and, above all, I appreciate the hope that YOU gave me and everyone else who reads it, I'm sure. Thank you so much for posting.
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Old 07-14-2014, 07:26 PM
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You are very correct. No one is immune to addiction. It affects people from all walks of life and their families.

Congratulations to you for being clean and sober for so many years. I'm sorry the disease cost you a sister. Hopefully this will be your brother's wake up call.
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Old 07-15-2014, 08:34 AM
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[quote=tglsmom;7340090]Zumbagirl - First off, I'd like to congratulate you on 31 years clean and sober. That is awesome and something I hope my son will achieve someday. I am very sorry to hear about your sister and now your brother. It just proves that addiction is everywhere and that it doesn't discriminate when it comes to who it affects. As many of us like to say, it is truly the devil and it takes a lot of strength and courage for the addict to look the other way and choose recovery. I will keep your brother in my thoughts and prayers, but with you in his corner his chances of winning the battle are even greater. You sound like an amazing sister and he is very lucky.

I read your post to my husband and as I was doing so, I choked up. Your words really got to me and, above all, I appreciate the hope that YOU gave me and everyone else who reads it, I'm sure. Thank you so much for posting.[/

I will keep your son in my thoughts. So many people live a life of recovery and he wants to too. It's a matter of surrender and having a new group to hang with. Those old friends have to go by the way side. AL ANON....NARC ANON... Are good programs for us. I mix my meetings with AL ANON...I am sure you know all about that already. When we are out there using we don't do so to hurt others but we sure do. I remember calling my parents from a phone booth at 3 am telling them I was cold. Good grief can you imagine the affect of that call. I had been up all night stoned and was living on the street by then. Never gave a second thought what a call like that would do to them. I was lucky I still had family left. Their support when I finally gave up was important. When I saw them I remembered I had a family who loved me and it brought me back to reality. But that was not until I was ready. Nothing they did could have changed where I was.
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Old 07-15-2014, 10:43 AM
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Addiction is the worst, i was an addict to opiates for 5 years, i have been clean since april this year, at least for me when i was able find something in life worth more then the addiction I was able to stop, opiates are very hard physically on the body, they say its mentally its in your mind but when it comes to opiates it wasn't mentally so much but my body was hurting so bad like a fish out of water, im glad to say i am finally pass that now, i learned i cant be here for people who need me or depend on me, even though i have no commitments like kids or a family, but i am someones sister, someones daughter, a cousin, a friend, and most of all my boyfriend who is locked up, I can't be here for him if i'm messed up, that's what keeps me clean is my commitment to him. for a better life and future... Stay strong.
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Old 07-15-2014, 02:52 PM
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Yay...so glad you are clean! Glad you see the value of being straight. Don't forget to include yourself in the list of people who you can be there for. How long is your boy friend in for? My brother is in for 15 months.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:05 PM
2muchmisery4me 2muchmisery4me is offline
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Zumbagirl63 , it's great that you have been sober for so long. It gives me hope . I'm sorry about your brother . My son has been sober for 9 mo but I'm not sure if that counts since he's in prison. I like to think so ,since I hear its easy to get stuff in there. He is working his program the best he can by having a sponsor from NA write to him and reading his books . My son got 5 years . He was doing spice/k2 and was hallucinating and went into his neighbors home . He pulled her hair and threatened her. He doesn't remember much of it .He also had a great life going for him up to that point and screwed up everything. My heart breaks for everyone with this problem .
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:48 PM
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Oh it definitely counts. Good for him. It is wonderful he has a sponsor too. He is on the right road for sure. I am wanting to send my brother the books also. He said they can only come from a company.....not through me. Did you have that too? I suppose I could use Amazon. 5 years...wow....will he get half of that ? I can't figure out this whole system. How sad that we all suffer so much. I was so lucky I was never arrested. I could have been so many times. I pray that my brother can grasp recovery like your son.
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Old 07-15-2014, 10:33 PM
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Zumbagirl63 My son has been sober for 9 mo but I'm not sure if that counts since he's in prison.
Heck yes it counts ! be proud, praise him, tell him how proud you are because believe me there are ways to get high or drink in there as well.
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Old 07-16-2014, 08:18 AM
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Thanks I do let him know how proud I am of the way he is now handling himself . He never complains and is just worried about how he will live when he gets out. I got his books directly from NA . They mailed them to him and are an approved vender here in CA. And no he has to do 85 % considered a violent felon since he went into someone's home and touched them. No drug charges at all, burglary and others all thought nothing was taken. Police report said he was hallucinating but still no drug charges ? I can't figure it out either.
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Old 07-28-2014, 06:34 PM
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Congratulations on the many years of sobriety and thank you for sharing your story with us. i know it must be hard to type out those words especially since you seem close with your family. while i don't have siblings that have gone through addiction issues, i've had many friends and other family members suffer by the hand of addiction (myself included). ...not only to drugs, but to alcohol, unhealthy relationships and other toxic addictions like gambling, food, etc. every addiction is a struggle and not everyone is so lucky to battle it. personally i was addicted to substances for 10 years, from a young age right through all my years of college and first few of my career. it was a wonder that i could function, no one really knew what was going on because i was one of those sole-addicts, preferring to be alone with my vices rather then share. it is a very tough road once you go down it. i truly hope your brother will get the help he needs and that he will find some comfort within himself that will help him get through the hell he is in. there is NOTHING worse then being trapped within yourself with a nagging addiction that takes hold and controls everything from your physical body to your mental well-being. how many people have done something stupid high/drunk and regretted it? how many people are locked up because of substance abuse? where is the help that these people desperately need? instead there is a huge stigma associated with addicts and mental health. why do people resort to drugs and addictions in the first place? most likely because something is not right in their lives which makes me wonder, why is therapy still such a taboo thing? so many people would rather hide with their addictions and vices rather then seek help. even with my own realization of how awful it was, i didn't look for help and i continued on knowing i was destroying myself. it wasnt until someone died that i woke up and asked for help. it seems like this will be your brothers wake up call where he will have all the time to fight those demons and hopefully come out the right side. i am sorry for the loss of your sister, i know how that feels and how devastating it can be. for myself personally, the death of a loved one is a constant reminder to never relapse or go there during my darkest moments. provide your brother as much love as you can, support and positivity. he will have to come to his own but you will have done what you could have. many blessings
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