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  #1  
Old 06-06-2017, 03:47 PM
LadyWeird LadyWeird is offline
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Unhappy Both parents are going to prison

My mom and dad were convicted in early November of fraud. The government looped my dad in with this mess because my mom didnt sign a plea agreement. They are both over the age of 65. My mom was sentenced to 151 months and my dad got 97 months. I feel like it was basically a death sentence. They have never been in any trouble before. This has been a nightmare. They have already missed their grandsons birth. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Everyone says I'm so strong but honestly it's just a facade. I'm severely depressed. I try to suck it up for my son he is only 4 months. They moved my parents from jail to prison so they are in transit to somewhere...the not knowing is killing me. My heart is broken my life is upside down.
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Old 06-06-2017, 04:00 PM
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I'm so very sorry for what you're going through. But you've found the right place for advice, support, or just someone to listen.

Others will be along shortly to answer your post and share their wisdom.
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Old 06-06-2017, 05:04 PM
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I didn't have 2 parents incarcerated, only 1... and I was severely depressed and overwhelmed with even that. My heart goes out to you.

I went through this phase about 3 months ago... he went from jail, to transit, and eventually to the place he will be for the next 10 years. He is 60 years old as of now. Everyone will tell you this just like they told me, but I didn't believe it and neither will you until you experience it. But it DOES get better. Once they are in their final destination, there will be no more uncertainty. It is then where you can begin adjusting to your new "norm".

With fraud I'm assuming they are in a camp or low security prison? This is a good thing. There is no violence or anything like that. They basically build their own little community. My dad now has friends, a job, a buddy he works out with every day, and he loves to send me new recipes he likes haha!! He's found his norm and so have I. He's actually quite content. We have a call schedule and send one another pictures when we can. Just little stuff. Such as I got a new apartment and was telling him all about it and he had me send him pictures of it so he could see

It does suck having them miss out on important events. My dad will most likely miss me walking down the aisle as I'm 23 and he has a 10 year sentence. But you can't focus on that. You learn to make the best of a bad situation and it's okay to be overwhelmed and sad.

Take time for yourself. I had to do this. I'm the only one from outside that has a relationship with him, so much pressure got put on me. It stressed me out so bad I almost got fired, I was completely depressed, pushed friends away. Until I told my dad I needed a week to breathe. I had to remind him that my whole world and responsibilities still exist for me... sometimes you have to remind them. And that's okay!! You should learn how to do that. It's really true that we are serving the sentence along with them.. but this was their actions, you can't throw away your whole life because of their decisions. Keep in touch, visit, send pictures, set up a call schedule, but continue on with living your life and taking time for yourself. This is so important. And I promise, they understand. I have a stronger relationship with my dad than I ever have

Feel free to message me if you would like. Hugs!
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Old 06-06-2017, 05:28 PM
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I'm sorry for what you, and your parents are facing. You need to take care of yourself, whatever that takes, so you can be strong for your Son, and for your parents. They will all need you more now than ever.
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Old 06-06-2017, 08:43 PM
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UGH both Mom and Dad gone? I am so sorry as it is hard enough dealing with one parent being gone.

Breath and try to be patient until they get to where they are going. Take care of yourself and your little guy. Hopefully, once they get settled in, you can visit.

I wish only the best for you and your parents.
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Old 06-07-2017, 06:32 AM
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Everyone says I'm so strong but honestly it's just a facade. I'm severely depressed. I try to suck it up for my son he is only 4 months. They moved my parents from jail to prison so they are in transit to somewhere...the not knowing is killing me. My heart is broken my life is upside down.
Here's the deal: you're upset, depressed, anxious, and filled with dread. And yet you keep putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with the situation. THAT, m'dear is the very definition of strength. Weakness would be walking away from the situation because it's too much to handle (as members of my family did to my Dad). I know it doesn't feel like strength - our culture seems to define strength as an emotional void. "Strong" people don't have emotional reactions. I call BS on that. People who don't have emotional reactions are called psychopaths. Strong people are the ones who face emotional devastation and yet continue to do what needs to be done. THAT is strength. Give yourself credit where credit is due. You're here on this site because you continue to do what needs to be done. You are strong. And because of this, you will come out the other side of this.

You are in the absolute worst phase of this process (I know I've said it in other posts here, but it bears repeating).

My heart aches for you. To have both parents going in at the same time is horrific.

Things you can/probably need to do at this point: get Power of Attorney. Get access to their bank account(s) (you may need to do this entirely on the internet/by phone initially, and you may have to pretend to be your mom initially, but don't use that as a long term solution). Make sure they sign their emergency contact forms with your name on it. Tell each of them to sign a HIPPA waiver with you listed as the person who can get information. Start working on all the little details that will need to be taken care of as soon as you have Power of Attorney (selling cars, selling/renting the house, packing stuff up to go into storage or selling it, etc.) The change in focus will help keep you centered.

And talk to us. All of us here are with you. We would hug you and rub your back if you were in the same room with us. Here, in this virtual room, all we can do is tell you that you will survive this and the worst is nearly over.

For yourself, for your son, for you mother and father, maintain your sanity as best you're able. Feel free to cry, vent, emotionally vomit up all the things that are eating you alive here. We've all been there, we understand.

Welcome to PTO. I'm glad you found us, though sorry you need us.
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Old 06-07-2017, 09:02 AM
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I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. Is this a federal crime? I have experience with federal camps for white collar crimes. Please PM me if I can help.
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Old 06-07-2017, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyWeird View Post
My mom and dad were convicted in early November of fraud. The government looped my dad in with this mess because my mom didnt sign a plea agreement. They are both over the age of 65. My mom was sentenced to 151 months and my dad got 97 months. I feel like it was basically a death sentence. They have never been in any trouble before. This has been a nightmare. They have already missed their grandsons birth. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Everyone says I'm so strong but honestly it's just a facade. I'm severely depressed. I try to suck it up for my son he is only 4 months. They moved my parents from jail to prison so they are in transit to somewhere...the not knowing is killing me. My heart is broken my life is upside down.
My children will be going through the same thing. Their dad is in prison now for 40 months and I am going to self-surrender in September for 51 months. The feds work totally different than anything I have ever seen. Maybe they can get out early with compassionate release due to their ages.
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Old 06-08-2017, 06:47 AM
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Im so sorry.
I would be depressed too!
Add in recently giving birth?
It might be a good idea for you to seek out some counseling for yourself if you are really struggling.

Yeah, I got the *you are so strong* stuff too.
You dont HAVE to be. Its ok to cry once in a while.
But do try to focus on your little one. Enjoy him.
You can share him in letters and photos (to your parents) via mail, and yeah its not the same thing. Eventually you could bring him to visit, hopefully.

Again, Im so sorry. It just sounds pretty heartless for that long a sentence
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Old 06-10-2017, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyWeird View Post
My mom and dad were convicted in early November of fraud. The government looped my dad in with this mess because my mom didnt sign a plea agreement. They are both over the age of 65. My mom was sentenced to 151 months and my dad got 97 months. I feel like it was basically a death sentence. They have never been in any trouble before. This has been a nightmare. They have already missed their grandsons birth. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Everyone says I'm so strong but honestly it's just a facade. I'm severely depressed. I try to suck it up for my son he is only 4 months. They moved my parents from jail to prison so they are in transit to somewhere...the not knowing is killing me. My heart is broken my life is upside down.
I am so so sorry and sad for you. Hard enough to have 1 parent but 2 is devastating. One day at a time is the only way to survive. To look at the bigger picture will cause you to sink into sadness and despair or even depression. Connect with family that can be mother and father like to you and grandparent to your child. This website is a wonderful place for support. Ask any questions, someone always knows the answer. People here have been through it all and then some. Sending you strength, hope and prayers. There is a light that shines in us all. When that light is dim, surround yourself with those who can shine their light to you.
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Old 06-10-2017, 05:57 PM
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Thank you everyone for the advice and support. I am trying hard to take one day at a time. They moved my dad to Atlanta USP he said he might end up in south carolina and I'm pretty sure mom will end up in Alabama. Visitation is going to be really tough. Dad says to try and visit mom more. He would follow her into hell. He basically did.
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Old 06-10-2017, 07:31 PM
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Thank you everyone for the advice and support. I am trying hard to take one day at a time. They moved my dad to Atlanta USP he said he might end up in south carolina and I'm pretty sure mom will end up in Alabama. Visitation is going to be really tough. Dad says to try and visit mom more. He would follow her into hell. He basically did.
Let me know if he ends up in Edgefield, SC. That is where my husband is at. My husband is 66, so perhaps they can buddy up. My husband says it is not that bad. He has group of businessmen that get together and support each other through this.
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Old 06-11-2017, 08:11 AM
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If one day at a time is too much, shorten it up. Even to the point of an hr at a time.
Hopefully the baby's dad is supporting you.
Agree about maybe an aunt or uncle being a surrogate parent/grandparent?
I hope you have friends too that can lend an ear.
And there is always us.
I'd have not made it without the support I got here.
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Old 06-18-2017, 01:01 PM
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I didn't have 2 parents incarcerated, only 1... and I was severely depressed and overwhelmed with even that. My heart goes out to you.

I went through this phase about 3 months ago... he went from jail, to transit, and eventually to the place he will be for the next 10 years. He is 60 years old as of now. Everyone will tell you this just like they told me, but I didn't believe it and neither will you until you experience it. But it DOES get better. Once they are in their final destination, there will be no more uncertainty. It is then where you can begin adjusting to your new "norm".

With fraud I'm assuming they are in a camp or low security prison? This is a good thing. There is no violence or anything like that. They basically build their own little community. My dad now has friends, a job, a buddy he works out with every day, and he loves to send me new recipes he likes haha!! He's found his norm and so have I. He's actually quite content. We have a call schedule and send one another pictures when we can. Just little stuff. Such as I got a new apartment and was telling him all about it and he had me send him pictures of it so he could see

It does suck having them miss out on important events. My dad will most likely miss me walking down the aisle as I'm 23 and he has a 10 year sentence. But you can't focus on that. You learn to make the best of a bad situation and it's okay to be overwhelmed and sad.

Take time for yourself. I had to do this. I'm the only one from outside that has a relationship with him, so much pressure got put on me. It stressed me out so bad I almost got fired, I was completely depressed, pushed friends away. Until I told my dad I needed a week to breathe. I had to remind him that my whole world and responsibilities still exist for me... sometimes you have to remind them. And that's okay!! You should learn how to do that. It's really true that we are serving the sentence along with them.. but this was their actions, you can't throw away your whole life because of their decisions. Keep in touch, visit, send pictures, set up a call schedule, but continue on with living your life and taking time for yourself. This is so important. And I promise, they understand. I have a stronger relationship with my dad than I ever have

Feel free to message me if you would like. Hugs!

Thank you for everything that you said. It has really helped me today.
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:32 AM
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I think your mom could go to Coleman. Did they request specific designations at sentencing? You definitely need emotional support. What area are you in? Maybe one of us could help you find a support group.
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Old 06-19-2017, 03:00 PM
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The judge recommended coleman but she is still waiting. I am in central florida. I've been looking for a support group but I haven't found anything yet.
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:11 PM
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And unfortunately, what judges recommend has nothing to do with what DOC actually does DOC is part of the executive branch, while the judge is part of the judicial branch. The judge literally, by constitutional law, cannot tell DOC where to send your mom.

That said, there are fewer women's prisons than men's, so her chances of going where the judge recommended are much higher.

We're here for you. Have you looked around in the Florida forum? I know there's a lot of activity there, and a lot of people who can help you out and know the system.

Hang in there - it won't always feel this horrific.
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Old 06-27-2017, 06:47 AM
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Today is another bad day mentally for me. I keep thinking about where my parents are. How things will not be the same. I feel stressed and depressed. My depression feels like it is getting worse. I tell my husband and he says he is sorry but I know there is nothing he can really do. I don't want to be strong anymore. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up for a few years.
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Old 06-27-2017, 07:37 AM
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I think its time for you to focus on you. You might be having some postpartum depression and that needs to be looked at.
Have you considered talking with a therapist? I strongly urge you to try that.

I know when my hub went to prison I was totally focused on the what, how, not to mention embarrassment of having a loved one in prison (let alone his charges)
but I did have the distraction of work, and a 15y son to finish raising by myself.
it didnt leave much time for me which was ok.
Ug. I just feel for you. I wish your hubby was a bit more helpful in helping you deal with this.
Strongly suggest you reach out to a therapist.
I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 06-27-2017, 11:02 AM
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Your depression is almost the same as when someone loses their loved ones for any reason. It's frequent, it's understandable, but there is help available if you seek it out. Doctors have antidepressant prescription meds, religious leaders and therapists have counseling, and there are even self help guides available by searching the internet.

It may even decrease over time, on its own, but there are better ways to deal with depression than trying to outlast the pain.
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Old 06-27-2017, 07:06 PM
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Check out the Quakers in your area. Some, not all, have support for prisoners and families of prisoners. They are nice folks, generally, and may be a resource for referral if not able to help directly. Hang in there.
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Old 06-27-2017, 08:54 PM
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My heart hurts for you LadyWeird.

The transition into prison is a horrible thing to go through when watching from the outside. I agree with those who recommend therapy, if you can afford it. Your county mental health department most likely has a list of "sliding scale" therapists. If not, the therapist certification board (whatever name they go by in FL) should have a list.

I don't think I could have borne the process without my therapist. I can't even imagine how much worse it must be to have both parents involved. Please please don't forget to put yourself on the list of things to take care of. If you end up becoming a wreck, you won't be of any use at all for either of your parents.

That said, I totally understand the desire to crawl under the bed, curl into the fetal position and never leave the house again. Not only do I understand it, I still can feel what that stage of the process felt like, and it just plain sucked.

We're here to support you in whatever way we can. Take a deep breath (or two or three). Remember that the earth will continue to revolve about its axis no matter what happens - which means that each day will come and each day will go and each day, you'll be one day closer to finding your new normal. It's the getting from here to there that's the absolute hardest. It won't always feel like this, I promise.
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Old 06-28-2017, 01:43 PM
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As the previous replies have posted, my heart goes out to you on such a deep level. I understand the way you are feeling. Some days are better than others, some days you seem to block out what's going on, and some days from the moment you wake up you have a pit in your stomach that lasts all day. Just when I think I'm starting to "adjust" to my new norm, I have a bad day that totally sets me back. Even the littlest thing like eating breakfast or taking a shower brings tears to my eyes.. what kind of food are they eating? how cold was their water this morning? I'm finding it very hard to find joy or even be joyful in my personal life when I know they are going through something so so awful. It's almost a feeling of guilt, like how could I be happy enjoying this lazy Sunday stroll when I know my loved ones are locked inside some awful place. So, I get it. I relate to you 100%. You are not alone in this... every single person writing on this forum can relate to your pain in one way or another. I too am looking into therapy.. although I don't really have the funds for it I'm hoping to find something reasonable. I have been blessed to find 1 close friend who I can talk to about this, but other than that I keep to myself. It's not a story I don't want to retell over and over, so for me, finding my 1 person has been very helpful. People will "try" to help but they don't know how or what to say. I truly feel more understood on this forum than I do with any of my close friends who know.

This whole experience is a nightmare, but one day we will start to settle into our new reality and start finding joy in our lives. Your baby needs you right now, and thank God for that little blessing which will keep you occupied. Feel free to reach out any time, and start every day with doing a little something for yourself. The journey will be long, and we can't neglect ourselves along the way.

Sending you love and light
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:52 AM
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Reading this breaks my heart. It's a sad thing to have to go through. The time sentenced is crazy and their already up there in age. It'll be tough on you but just keep God first.
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