Is this controlling behavior?

[Grad0507]

I don’t know where to put this, so feel free to move it. I’ve been writing to a celebrity I won’t name every other month for 5 years because I thought he’d appreciate outside contact that wasn’t just fan mail. I understood if he didn’t write back because I assumed he got a ton of mail. Well two years ago I proposed the idea of dating. He didn’t respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship. I talked my husband about having an open marriage and wrote back with more frequency. However he still hasn’t written back to either encourage me or discourage me from writing. It’s a very odd relationship and seems completely one-sided. I can’t even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He won’t even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?

[miamac]

What?! I don't know what it is but if he can only be bothered to write every few years, I don't see how that's supportive of any type of relationship. Celebrity or not, he clearly is filling his time with other things.

Actually, yeah-- it's creepy. Doesn't write for two years and then drops that he wants a sexual relationship? Pass.

[yourself]

Controlling? No. It is disinterested.

[MizzyMuffling]

It’s not a relationship, it’s nothing.

[Grad0507]

Originally Posted by yourself

Controlling? No. It is disinterested.

Telling me that he thinks of me often is not disinterested

[Grad0507]

I just want to know if this is a sign of a cult leader, narcissist, or predator. He only reached out when my correspondence became less and he was afraid of losing me.

[MizzyMuffling]

Again, it's nothing, he just wants to keep you "in the loop" just in case the others won't work out.. you are probably not the only one and he's playing with you.
To be honest - I see the problem more with you than him...

[Visitor611]

Originally Posted by Grad0507

I don’t know where to put this, so feel free to move it. I’ve been writing to a celebrity I won’t name every other month for 5 years because I thought he’d appreciate outside contact that wasn’t just fan mail. I understood if he didn’t write back because I assumed he got a ton of mail. Well two years ago I proposed the idea of dating. He didn’t respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship. I talked my husband about having an open marriage and wrote back with more frequency. However he still hasn’t written back to either encourage me or discourage me from writing. It’s a very odd relationship and seems completely one-sided. I can’t even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He won’t even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?

There's so many WTF moments in this post, that I lost count after 10.

[Visitor611]

Originally Posted by Grad0507

Telling me that he thinks of me often is not disinterested

I could tell you I think of you often (I'm not). This means it has to be true.

[onedayatatime13]

This is like the online dating guy who send a random text every few months to cast his line
It is called taking a heartbeat or a pulse

[4Bobby]

Originally Posted by Visitor611

There's so many WTF moments in this post, that I lost count after 10.

Glad I wasn't the only one. Is there such a thing as a celebrity offender? O/P lost me after that statement.

[Visitor611]

Originally Posted by 4Bobby

Glad I wasn't the only one. Is there such a thing as a celebrity offender? O/P lost me after that statement.

I checked out after "open marriage" and asking your spouse if you can date a prisoner before an anniversary. What in the actual hell....? That's a pretty big oxymoron. It actually is possible for one person to make you happy. To each their own.

[studebaker71]

I can just picture the anniversary dinner. Awkward. hahah

"Can you pass the gravy please? oh and Hey can we have a open marriage?"

[Visitor611]

Originally Posted by studebaker71

I can just picture the anniversary dinner. Awkward. hahah

"Can you pass the gravy please? oh and Hey can we have a open marriage?"

" He didn’t respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship

LOL? marriage anniversary to "someone else". Respectful there. How is this even a real post. Just when I think I've read it all here... magic happens.

[Peacefinder]

It sounds like he isn't interested in a relationship at all. Every couple years isn't caring at all. It sounds like he contacts you when another relationship ends and stops when he finds someone else.

[Kimimi]

I I don’t think it’s controlling behavior. A controlling manipulative person usually shows more interest than an every other year check in. I think it’s disturbing behavior but not surprising coming from a “celebrity inmate” who is probably a narcissist. What I find disturbing is the fact that you can’t figure this out yourself and actually care what someone with this much disinterest is thinking. And what possible kind of sexual relationship is he offering? And when? He sounds psycho

[maytayah]

No its bizarre behaviour. If you want an open marriage so you can get involved with a guy who can barely write to you once a year then go for it.

[e-Tex]

Talk about an off-again/on-again relationship. I'll check back on this thread in a couple of years.

[WaitingWilkes]

Originally Posted by Grad0507

I ...I can’t even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He won’t even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?

From what you wrote it seems like he only writes to you when he has nothing else to do. I doubt he's trying to control or manipulate you. I doubt he's interested in having any sort of relationship at all.

[Marseille]

Originally Posted by Grad0507

I just want to know if this is a sign of a cult leader, narcissist, or predator. He only reached out when my correspondence became less and he was afraid of losing me.

You’re flattering yourself. Go have dinner with your husband.

[Desertdweller11]

Originally Posted by Grad0507

I don’t know where to put this, so feel free to move it. I’ve been writing to a celebrity I won’t name every other month for 5 years because I thought he’d appreciate outside contact that wasn’t just fan mail. I understood if he didn’t write back because I assumed he got a ton of mail. Well two years ago I proposed the idea of dating. He didn’t respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship. I talked my husband about having an open marriage and wrote back with more frequency. However he still hasn’t written back to either encourage me or discourage me from writing. It’s a very odd relationship and seems completely one-sided. I can’t even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He won’t even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?

Im just sort of curious why you are not putting this effort into your spouse? No offense I think you are a little self absorbed and bat shit crazy...