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View Poll Results: Did you grow up in an abusive enviornment?
YES 194 65.54%
NO 102 34.46%
Voters: 296. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 05-10-2006, 12:35 AM
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I suppose you could say I grew up in one. I wasn't abused but I say it happen to my mother from time to time but a stepdad who was an alcoholic.
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  #102  
Old 05-14-2006, 10:02 PM
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Yes. My father(a minister) was physically and emotionally abusive to my mother and us kids. They divorced because of it and my mother married an even bigger jerk who had a direct impact on her death.
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  #103  
Old 05-23-2006, 06:39 PM
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Hi all new here so hey!! I'm 54 yrs old and was abused as a child by my stepfather as well as his friends. Thank god he died in 1977 but doesnt' deserve to be with Elvis which i doubt anyways lol. My stepdad beat my mom all the time as well as me and my 3 sisters. My mom has since remarried again to a man who is 86 and she is 77. dont' sound like m uch of a difference but it is to me. Now her life is over cause she has to look after an old man and he is dragging her down. I hate her for not leaving my Stepfather when she knew all the abuse was going on. But i love her at the same time if that makes sence.
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  #104  
Old 06-09-2006, 11:40 PM
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I to came from a abusive home. But it was just to me by my stepdad, my sisters were all his daughters. I can actually say I hate my mother for what she let go on and never even tried to stop. I no longer talk to my mom, stepdad and my 2 younger sisters. I do however have a very good relationship with my older step sister. We do stuff all the time together now that my family has dis-owned her to. I guess that is just what happens. I feel like a orphan alot of times, even though I am 21. I dont ever see or talk to my mom and my dad has been in prison since I was 18 months old and will never get out. I am very grateful though to have a VERY loving husband now and two beautiful boys, and I thank God everyday for the life I have now.
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  #105  
Old 06-17-2006, 12:34 AM
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so i have already written on here once before.

my relationship with my father has gotten worser.. we fight every day .. over stupid stuff. i do believe he enjoys to make me cry each and everyday.. since i have still lived with my parents.. since my husband has been away. its been hard for myself.. due to not having my husband there/with my depression and being a single parent to my son. i have been stressful and the fact that i dont get along with my father.. i dont even call him my father in my book he isnt a father.. i mean granted he has been there for me thru this whole situation with my husband and helped us out majorly.. and yes he is a great grandfather to my son.. im grateful.. BUT.. as a father.. he is a "deadbeat"

you may be siiting there and asking why is she callin her father a "deadbeat" when he is still around blah blah.. yes my father is still around but he is verbally abusive to me.. and also physically abusive towards me.. i mean okay.. im 23 years old , not 10 or younger.. i dont think its right for a 46 year old man .. to abusive his grown daughter.. i mean this has gone for for about a year or so .. of him abusing me..

and its like everyday gets worser... him threating me.. hitting me, screamin at me infront of my child.. its awful. all i do is try and not talk to him .. and he just saids stuff that gets underneathe my skin and i have to react.. anyone would.. but

when my father.. saids how "he wants to beat the living crap out of me , that puts me into the hospital" how can i look @ him as a father ?? and how he said going to jail would be fine with him .. just because that he would love to put me in the hospital.. i mean i think thats sick.. to think about it ..

so that was like two days ago.. when i just found out my grandma is about to die..

but then today.. he comes home.. starts yelling at me .. *(oh yeah .. my father is a drug addicted.. well was .. he is still in rehab and its been 3 years and is now addicted to methdome or whatever the stuff they give youu to get off the drugs) and calls me every name in the book.. like usual. i try and not talk to him .. and then he saids

" i really hope a bomb goes off between your legs and kills you" then finally you will be out of my life for good..."

oh yeah he swears up and down that he has never ever said that he would kill me, hurt me , oh yeah.. nor ever layed a hand on me.. but then again .. maybe he has multipal personalities or something!!

i broke down in tears.. and personally all i wanted was my husband.. and how he cant do anything .. to protect me of this horrible man .. who forever i called my father.

as i sit here in tears.. and wonder whats so wrong with me,. that everyday of my life i get abused and hurt and beated inside and out .. by someone who im supposed to love and care for and have my son look up to as a role model..

right now i dont have money to go live on my own.. and i have tried to leave but the threats get worser because he thinks im trying to keep him away from my son.

im so scared to death that one day he will physically kill me.. or something horrible will happen to me..

i dont know what else to do.. i mean this is going to sound horrible.. but i have sat there and thought about hurting my father.. so he would never hurt me ever again .. i pray that he dies.. i really do..

im sick of gettin hit in the face.. gettin my hair pulled almost out of my head.. having brusies and tellin my husband that i ran into something..

im sick of living this horrible NIGHTMARE.. i just want it to all go away..

so if anyone has any info .. on what i should do ...



Last edited by Alynn528; 06-17-2006 at 12:43 AM..
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  #106  
Old 08-14-2006, 11:09 PM
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I grew up with 2 wonderful parents who were married just over 50 years and together 55 when they diied. I did not grow up in an abusive home at all. I grew up never needing or wanting for anything!
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  #107  
Old 08-15-2006, 12:24 PM
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I grew up in a very abusive violent home, alot of alcohol abuse and mental abuse, not a happy time for me.

Those days are gone now, but still yet to leave the home it happined in, soon hopefuly!!
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  #108  
Old 10-12-2006, 07:47 AM
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I myself was brought up in a good home. My parents are still together after 50 years. Yes, they have had their ups and downs but my siblings and myself saw the love. Abusive relationship, once and that was when I was real young. I would never go through that again. I always tell my husband if you never were taught love when you were growing up, HOW do you know what it is when you are grown? His parents never showed loved and his father drank quite a bit. I at least saw love between my parents, the hugs the kisses. Yes, they argued but that is normal. I don't understand why someone would stay with someone abusive. There are loving people out there.
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  #109  
Old 10-24-2006, 07:29 PM
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My parents were never abusive but they also weren't around much and left my older brother and neighbors and myself to raise me. I was mostly on my own. By time I was 5 I had to learn how to fight because my brother who is 7 yrs older we would get into fights and the neighborhood boys anywhere form 3-7 years older then me would jump me once in awhile. By time I was a teen my brother was heavy into drugs and beat me for a solid week until I thought he was going to kill me along with a couple neighborhood boys would beat me. I have learned how to be strong and defend myself unfortunately that means carrying a baseball bat and always a knife I fear I may end up in jail in because of self defense but I hope these last 2 beatings I've taken will be the last.
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  #110  
Old 10-24-2006, 09:39 PM
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I was mentally and verbally abused as a child. My father wasn't around and my mother is "confused" so I, being a child, was in her way too much. She embarrassed me in front of my friends and their parents about my weight. She even told some of my chubby friends about their weight. Everyone hated my moms and didn't want me around if she had to be. I don't think I was really physically abused but I was defintely emotionally abused and verbally abused and because of her constant harassment about my weight I go up and down like a roller coaster.
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  #111  
Old 10-25-2006, 09:08 AM
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I grew up in an upper middle class home, an only child. Both parents worked and my childhood was very normal.
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  #112  
Old 10-25-2006, 09:22 AM
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no i didnt grow up in an abusive environment, my parents always got al ong and they still do til this day
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  #113  
Old 10-26-2006, 03:39 PM
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Hey lovinkiah; sorry to hear about that. Hope everything is alot better for you now aday's.
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  #114  
Old 10-26-2006, 08:44 PM
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Things are better, for me, thank you. Unfortunately my mother is still in an abusive situation. Although our relationship in general is much better.
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  #115  
Old 11-17-2006, 01:24 AM
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As far as I can remember, my parents fought a lot. When I was 7, they finally divorced, after my dad threw my mom into the stove in our kitchen and broke her hip. Since then, I've been through a few domestic violence situations myself ... was even kidnapped for 2 years at the age of 17 by a virtual stranger and tortured on a daily basis during that time.

I won't go into the rest of it, but it gets even worse - MUCH worse. The way I look at it now is that what happened to me in my past made me a much stronger person. So, although my numerous extremely bad experiences did occur, it made me who I am today ... and it gives me the strength to keep moving forward and try to make a difference in the world, even if it's just slight difference. My own personal goal is to help as many other people as I possibly can, and if I can also boost their self-esteem and courage in the meantime so that they can live happier lives, that'll make me even happier.

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  #116  
Old 02-17-2007, 04:51 PM
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Yes, unfourtunately I did. My sisters father was very abusive towards my mother, more than likely due to him being an alcoholic, but that is no excuse. He abused her while she was pregnant with his child as well! It started off as verbal abuse and then steadily grew to being physical. The second night of my freshman yr in HS he had a gun pointed to her head and almost killed her. That was the breaking point when she decided that she had to do what was best for her children and its been 5 years but I still get chills when he comes to get my sister and I do not feel comfortable around him.
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  #117  
Old 02-17-2007, 11:40 PM
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My parents were fine people--to other people. To me, their firstborn, they were relentless in their determination to prevent me from ever amounting to anything. This included years of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse, all of which they later claimed (and my mother still maintains) never happened.

I have two siblings--sometimes I think I took the lumps for them as they were not treated in the same manner. I'm just glad it's behind me and that the situation is no longer a part of my life. Can't say that I let it get to me much, and I certainly would never make it someone else's problem. We are more than what happens to us, and being treated badly is no excuse to treat another badly.
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  #118  
Old 03-06-2007, 02:20 PM
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my father wasnt around when i was growing up.
so me & my brothers had to put up with my mother
who was insecure and looked for love in all the wrong places.
my stepdad was an alcoholic & would beat my mom.
lieterally kick the shit out of her black eyes & everything.

i remember once he pulled a knife on her & stabbed her in the stomach.
she lived. & had him locked away for 1 year. but hes out.
& they are still together 8 years later.

my mother would beat us from time to time but once we became of age and stood up she backed down. i find myself turning into her.

ive been in an abusive relationship, got pregnant at 17 & had an abortion, because of that i recieved death threats from the babys father etc. I GOT THE BALLS TO SAY FUCK YOU, and i left. unfortunetly the next gf gotbeat & he is now in prison.
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  #119  
Old 03-13-2007, 06:13 AM
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My home was not physically abusive, but my mother was a massive narcissist. When we were children we never knew what to name her, but we knew she was crazy but not a kind of crazy that you could put her away for. Only at age 52, talking to a counselor, did I learn that "narcissism" was the name for the danger.
When I was 10 my parents divorced, and later my dad remarried, to a woman who has been a godsend. But the damage was done - I still tend to give in to or try to fix other narcissists, as if it will finally prove something to a woman who has been dead for many years.
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  #120  
Old 04-18-2007, 12:51 PM
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My father was an alcoholic who was physically & verbally abusive. I recall one incident where I walked in on him beating up my mom. (I was 4). She was yelling for me to call 911, and he said if I did, he'd kill her. Another time, he backhanded my younger sister (who would have been 2-3 at the time) for saying "no" to him and knocked her unconscious for a few minutes. There were other incidents through the years of course. Luckily for me (or maybe not?) most of his abuse towards me was verbal. Stuff like calling me "thunder thighs" and backhanded comments such as "what are you, stupid?".

As an adult I've had 2 bad marriages, which I see as direct results of my dysfunctional childhood. My 1st husband was primarily mentally/emotionally abusive, though he did give me a black eye once when he chucked his eyeglass case at me during a fight. His main tactics of control however were to throw away clothes he thought were too sexy, hide my makeup, delete friends #'s from my cell, break into my email, listen in on phone conversations, and tell me what a "slut" I was.

My 2nd hubby (who I'm currently in the process of divorcing), is an alcoholic. I don't recall him ever being abusive to me. But our relationship was stressful due to his heavy drinking, staying out late, taking the car-even though his license was revoked (I tried to hide the car keys but didn't always remember), taking my debit card w/o asking-and causing nsf fees, getting into drunken brawls, and his frequent trouble w/ the law.
Our daughter is 2 years old and I hope that I have broken the cycle early enough for her to not end up in bad relationships when she grows up!
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  #121  
Old 04-18-2007, 12:56 PM
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My father was an alcoholic who was physically & verbally abusive. I recall one incident where I walked in on him beating up my mom. (I was 4). She was yelling for me to call 911, and he said if I did, he'd kill her. Another time, he backhanded my younger sister (who would have been 2-3 at the time) for saying "no" to him and knocked her unconscious for a few minutes. There were other incidents through the years of course. Luckily for me (or maybe not?) most of his abuse towards me was verbal. Stuff like calling me "thunder thighs" and backhanded comments such as "what are you, stupid?".

As an adult I've had 2 bad marriages, which I see as direct results of my dysfunctional childhood. My 1st husband was primarily mentally/emotionally abusive, though he did give me a black eye once when he chucked his eyeglass case at me during a fight. His main tactics of control however were to throw away clothes he thought were too sexy, hide my makeup, delete friends #'s from my cell, break into my email, listen in on phone conversations, and tell me what a "slut" I was. It took me 3 attempts to leave him. The last straw was on our 1 year wedding anniversary. At the time I was working full time and going to college full time. He was unemployed and sat at home all day playing video games or playing on the computer. On our anniversary, I came home from school to find the house a mess. Also, he had not started dinner and did not even have the decency to make me a card out of crayons and paper (which is the only "gift" I would have expected anyway since we were broke). It finally clicked in my head at that moment that he did not truly care for me, and probably saw me more as a meal ticket. Hey, who wouldn't want free food & shelter, and regular nookie, without having to put forth any effort for it?

My 2nd hubby (who I'm currently in the process of divorcing), is an alcoholic. I don't recall him ever being abusive to me. But our relationship was stressful due to his heavy drinking, staying out late, taking the car-even though his license was revoked (I tried to hide the car keys but didn't always remember), taking my debit card w/o asking-and causing nsf fees, getting into drunken brawls, and his frequent trouble w/ the law. I still care for him alot, but I feel that he would have to overcome his alcohol addiction and underlying emotional problems before we could ever have a chance at a successful relationship. Our daughter is 2 years old and I hope that I have broken the cycle early enough for her to not end up in a dysfunctional or abusive relationship when she grows up!
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  #122  
Old 05-28-2007, 06:43 PM
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i grew up in an abusive drug filled home. dad died at an early age (2) and my moms boyfriends beat the crap out of all of us. (mom, brother, myself), ive also encountered other types of abuse...

guess some go through this,....question is, does it make u stronger or break u down as u get older?
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  #123  
Old 06-05-2007, 12:52 AM
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i think how we process it is how it either wipes us out or makes us stronger. really, i laugh at some of the stuff that happene3d between my ex and i. when i read the second to last post about hercoming home on their anniversary, to a messy house, and not even a card for her, on one of my birthdays he forgot as usual and about 8:30 that night i started to cry and he got me in the car, drove to sav-on, went in, came out with a card, grabbed a pen, wrote,"love, max", and tossed it at me. as a child, my brother still laughs to this day about mom having me by the wrist, and a belt in the other hand, and id be going in circles around her as she whipped me. he would sit in his highchair and laugh. mom was alcoholic, very funny, but just a real bitchy mouthy drunk, and she was always on our cases about not appreciating anything. she drove home drunk and knocked the carport down and we covered her ass for when dad got home. he was alcholic, but very passive. whenever they went to a cocktail party i always knew she'd come home snarling at him. when i saw "who's afraid of virginia wolf" it was just like watching my parents. i used to feel real angry about the whole mess, but over time and with therapy, i accept what happened. and i need to say "time" because it took "time" to get thru it. im still a mess, but a little less of a mess.
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  #124  
Old 06-05-2007, 01:57 AM
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Yes i did. My father abused my mother and us, but for some strange reason he did it most to me. Up to this date i can't figure out why. My aunt told me that when my mother was pregnant with me he wanted a baby boy, in the latin culture having a boy as a firstborn is like hitting the bat at the first try, u know a macho thing, and when i was born he was dissapointed. I guess that was it, i don't know. All i know is that it took me almost 45 yrs. to forgive him but i did it thru God. Somedays when he mentions that all his kids grew up to be good citizens because of him getting us straight, i can feel the anger and resentment coming back but i don't allow myself to go back to those days bcause then i'll be trapped in a vicious cycle of hate that i don't desire being a new woman. My mom is still with him although he doesn't beat her anymore. He knows that i am not going to let him u know why? because of his abuse i got stronger.

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  #125  
Old 06-05-2007, 11:56 PM
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ever since this thread was put out i have avoided it,why i am in here right now i don't know.abusive childhood,yea i remember my dad holding his rifle to my moms head because she was putting us 6 kids in the car to leave and then i heard gun shots 4 to be exact i was crying and turned to look for my mom and he had shot out all 4 tires so we couldn't go nowhere.i seen him on top of my mom they were actually kicking eachothers asses lol,its the indian in her.my mom used to drag me to the garage and yell at me to take a good look at my drunken father because she was so angry at me for loving him.i don't have alot of memories of my childhood,the ones i do have are extremely bad,but i love my parents my dad is dead and there was alot of untouched things that needed to be said with us before he died but i went 2 years ago to say them at his grave for i didn't think it was the best thing to do when he was dying of lung cancer.my mom has more than made up for our childhood,she did the best that she could at the time,there wasn't the help then for abused people that there is now..and thankgod for the help we all have now!
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