Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Parents with Children in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Parents with Children in Prison For the parents of prisoners

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-19-2019, 10:30 PM
DisneyFan DisneyFan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 205
Thanks: 245
Thanked 532 Times in 158 Posts
Default Unfortunately, I'm back and not happy

I have lost count at this point. Quick back story my son is a black out drunk, drug addicted, mess at the present. Most of his incarcerations were minor, or things he brought on himself like VOP Most recently picked up for failure to appear. Had he appeared and followed his plea deal, he would have only had a 6 month probation and be done. Now according to Florida state law he can be charged the full charge. The original charge he was on probation for was failing to report change of address. Yes they picked him up for that.
See the pattern. He cannot follow rules. Part of that may be because of many learning challenges, and deficits with his mental status. Since he is now over 18, I can't speak on his behalf.

Best example is following instructions both written and verbal. I filed his income tax online for him. Due to issues with fraudulent returns in our state. The filing is accepted online but he received a letter stating he must prove his identity since he hadn't filed a tax return in years (hadn't worked, or been in jail) They requested a bank account or cell phone record. He has neither and can't use a computer. The alternative was a phone call. The instructions said have letter in front so they can prompt with verification.
Made the phone call at my home, I could hear the operator asking him for code on letter. He couldn't find it. I quickly motioned where it was. He was becoming agitated and frustrated.
The operator tried a few techniques to get the information to certify his identity. She was unsuccessful. Her suggestion was to complete an IRS form for power of attorney signed by him authorizing me to speak to them.
He couldn't understand, The operator then broke rule and asked to speak to me.
She gave me the information and I of course jotted down the necessary form printed it out and had him sign. Then faxed all paperwork to the IRS.
Still haven't heard one word from IRS.

Now, I didn't give the example to excuse him from his behavior. It may be why he has such difficulty with instructions. They have to be single instructions.
I think he does better in the jail setting because it is a routine that doesn't vary.

I have rambled but I am so over this journey. He has been in and out of the system for 20 years. Just this year he was hospitalized with infection for 3 weeks. Living on the street. It is killing me. Not to mistake that comment that I am in any way suicidal. The stress overload has pushed my blood pressure to the limit. I have been treated over the past two years for an ulcer. Last Thursday endoscopy revealed that ulcer is inflamed and I have a second ulcer formed.
Next day I learn he has been picked up and in jail.

I love him and care, but I can't take much more. I need to work on healing myself It doesn't seem like it ever ends. The doctors tell me you need to cut the stress in your life. Maybe I just got my answer and my son is where he needs to be for now.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to DisneyFan For This Useful Post:
Firebrand (10-21-2019), gvalliant (10-20-2019), lizlizzie2 (10-21-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 10-20-2019, 02:19 AM
Firebrand's Avatar
Firebrand Firebrand is offline
The Cowtown Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 2,628
Thanks: 2,348
Thanked 5,798 Times in 1,535 Posts
Default

There are no easy resolutions or vows to take. He's your child and the bond is too strong and too paternal for you not to feel some sense of responsibility. I think you have to facilitate a type of moral strategy or effort in the face of what you can't control. YOU HAVE TO BE FEARLESS in much the same way that one of us who gets out of prison has to be fearless in the pursuit of freedom and survival.
Being afraid or stressed out won't change anything. What he does and what happens to him when does the wrong things are beyond your control. Look at all matters in the sense that no matter what I can or cannot do where he is concerned that you face it all with a sense of calm and acceptance for better or worse. If your fears won't change anything then, face them with the certainty that you'll do what you have to with a sense of resolve to SURVIVE THIS ORDEAL BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU, HE'LL BE IN JUST THAT MUCH WORSE SHAPE. He needs you, you're his mother. Whether he spends the rest of his life in prison or out here or in the grave, you're all he has it sounds like. Let that be the reason why you don't worry.
I lost both my parents in prison and I have no doubt that my behavior contributed to their deaths. Some would say and do say that I don't owe my parents anything because of the past and all that went on. Still, they are my mother and father and I love them. It doesn't matter what we worry about or why. The bond of paternal love between parents and children are to be exempt from worry, stress, and fear simply because we love for each other and do for each other no matter what the externals are. My parents were sick just as I was sick when I committed the robberies that landed me in prison, but no matter who is to blame for what or what didn't happened......YOU HAVE A BOND AND A LOVE FOR HIM THAT IS BEYOND FEAR. DON'T LET ANYTHING DISILLUSION YOU....WHAT EVER HAPPENS, LET IT HAPPEN KNOWING THAT YOU'LL DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH. Maybe the best thing for him is the life inside. No matter the reality, it doesn't change the fact that you'll love him and it may be that the only way you can love him and know that he is safest is when he's incarcerated. If he dies, know that he is at peace and that peace itself often involves a serious and heavy sacrifice in the making. If he is well then, love him knowing that all is well. In all matters and yet no matter the situation, know that he is your son and what ever the circumstance you'll always love him. Let that be enough for the sake of loving yourself. Learn or re learn to love your life enough and the frailty of its limitation to go about the business of motherhood in a fearless manner. It doesn't matter what he does.... learn to love with a sense of fearlessness because it is the fear of the unknown and what you can't control that consumes you. And fear is an illusion under those terms. Think about what I'm trying to say to you. Fear not, it won't change anything for the better.
__________________
We're All In This Together
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Firebrand For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (10-21-2019), georgiagrama (10-27-2019), kvinna20 (11-07-2019), LynnD (10-31-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #3  
Old 10-20-2019, 07:47 AM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 827
Thanks: 866
Thanked 1,079 Times in 483 Posts
Default

Oh gosh so sorry for all this. I dont have great advice but please know that I feel you have gone above and beyond. I totally get the added stress -we are in our 60's now and the stress has certainly not helped our health. What would happen if you didn't continue to support and help him? Would he go to prison? I can't remember if he has been in prison before or not.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to trauma4us For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (10-21-2019)
  #4  
Old 10-20-2019, 10:25 AM
gvalliant gvalliant is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: California
Posts: 767
Thanks: 1,432
Thanked 1,556 Times in 645 Posts
Default

Your son is not capable of following rules and regulations and instructions. He's a substance mess. Whatever they've done or not done with his previous incarcerations and probations haven't helped - and maybe led to his getting worse.

We have a society that has too many rules, too many regulations, too many instructions. You almost need to be part of the rulemaking class to understand and comply with everything these days. Even if he tries to comply with all of it, he can't.

Impossible situation that it falls on you to comply or at least help him comply with even simple things. You have to find some kind of program that actually helps him, at a minimum, permanently get off drugs and alcohol. That will be a long term program. A lot more structured and rigorous than just going to NA meeting a couple times a week. He has to be willing to participate.

The alternative is you continue to do everything for him and it never ends. Until one day he ends up with an extended prison term for not doing what he is not capable of. That's not a solution...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gvalliant For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (10-21-2019)
  #5  
Old 10-20-2019, 10:33 AM
Lesliezack's Avatar
Lesliezack Lesliezack is offline
a Realist NOT an enabler!
 

Join Date: May 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 1,527
Thanks: 288
Thanked 627 Times in 269 Posts
Default

Does he follow the rules in jail or is he in the SHU the entire time?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lesliezack For This Useful Post:
trauma4us (10-20-2019)
  #6  
Old 10-20-2019, 10:40 PM
DisneyFan DisneyFan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 205
Thanks: 245
Thanked 532 Times in 158 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Firebrand View Post
There are no easy resolutions or vows to take. He's your child and the bond is too strong and too paternal for you not to feel some sense of responsibility. I think you have to facilitate a type of moral strategy or effort in the face of what you can't control. YOU HAVE TO BE FEARLESS in much the same way that one of us who gets out of prison has to be fearless in the pursuit of freedom and survival.
Being afraid or stressed out won't change anything. What he does and what happens to him when does the wrong things are beyond your control. Look at all matters in the sense that no matter what I can or cannot do where he is concerned that you face it all with a sense of calm and acceptance for better or worse. If your fears won't change anything then, face them with the certainty that you'll do what you have to with a sense of resolve to SURVIVE THIS ORDEAL BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU, HE'LL BE IN JUST THAT MUCH WORSE SHAPE. He needs you, you're his mother. Whether he spends the rest of his life in prison or out here or in the grave, you're all he has it sounds like. Let that be the reason why you don't worry.
I lost both my parents in prison and I have no doubt that my behavior contributed to their deaths. Some would say and do say that I don't owe my parents anything because of the past and all that went on. Still, they are my mother and father and I love them. It doesn't matter what we worry about or why. The bond of paternal love between parents and children are to be exempt from worry, stress, and fear simply because we love for each other and do for each other no matter what the externals are. My parents were sick just as I was sick when I committed the robberies that landed me in prison, but no matter who is to blame for what or what didn't happened......YOU HAVE A BOND AND A LOVE FOR HIM THAT IS BEYOND FEAR. DON'T LET ANYTHING DISILLUSION YOU....WHAT EVER HAPPENS, LET IT HAPPEN KNOWING THAT YOU'LL DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH. Maybe the best thing for him is the life inside. No matter the reality, it doesn't change the fact that you'll love him and it may be that the only way you can love him and know that he is safest is when he's incarcerated. If he dies, know that he is at peace and that peace itself often involves a serious and heavy sacrifice in the making. If he is well then, love him knowing that all is well. In all matters and yet no matter the situation, know that he is your son and what ever the circumstance you'll always love him. Let that be enough for the sake of loving yourself. Learn or re learn to love your life enough and the frailty of its limitation to go about the business of motherhood in a fearless manner. It doesn't matter what he does.... learn to love with a sense of fearlessness because it is the fear of the unknown and what you can't control that consumes you. And fear is an illusion under those terms. Think about what I'm trying to say to you. Fear not, it won't change anything for the better.
Powerful response. I have become codependent because of the boomerang disasters in his life. I have a very empathetic and compassion heart which leads my responses. Of course I love him, as I said but I do have to be as strong as I can. I cannot control his actions. My heart of heart certainly knows this.

I have always taken his addiction and incarcerations very hard. Unfortunately it is taking a serious toll on my physical health. I am going to work very hard to do everything I can to heal myself. I have been compliant with food choices and medications. Obviously those are things I can control. The stress level is a work in progress
Thanks...
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DisneyFan For This Useful Post:
Firebrand (10-21-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #7  
Old 10-20-2019, 10:42 PM
DisneyFan DisneyFan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 205
Thanks: 245
Thanked 532 Times in 158 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lesliezack View Post
Does he follow the rules in jail or is he in the SHU the entire time?
He has spent a fair time in the SHU during previous incarcerations. He does better with the consistency of meal times, bedtimes etc.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DisneyFan For This Useful Post:
Lesliezack (10-21-2019)
  #8  
Old 10-20-2019, 10:48 PM
GaReform GaReform is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,086
Thanks: 648
Thanked 1,976 Times in 777 Posts
Default

Have you checked into any assistance programs that might help him? I don't know where you are in FL but have you heard of Project 180? It's a reentry program that might be able to help or at least suggest something for you. https://www.project180reentry.org/programs/
Another one that I've been hearing about is Operation New Hope. It's in the Jacksonville area but they may have ideas if that's not close to you. https://operationnewhope.org/
When I was looking for help for my son I reached out to any group that I thought would listen. They would give me ideas if they couldn't help. You need to take care of yourself because you know how exhausting this is. Your son needs your strength to guide him until he can stand on his own. But you can't give everything you have & always put your needs last. Let someone else give you support too.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GaReform For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (10-21-2019), lizlizzie2 (10-21-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #9  
Old 10-20-2019, 10:57 PM
DisneyFan DisneyFan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 205
Thanks: 245
Thanked 532 Times in 158 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gvalliant View Post
Your son is not capable of following rules and regulations and instructions. He's a substance mess. Whatever they've done or not done with his previous incarcerations and probations haven't helped - and maybe led to his getting worse.

We have a society that has too many rules, too many regulations, too many instructions. You almost need to be part of the rulemaking class to understand and comply with everything these days. Even if he tries to comply with all of it, he can't.

Impossible situation that it falls on you to comply or at least help him comply with even simple things. You have to find some kind of program that actually helps him, at a minimum, permanently get off drugs and alcohol. That will be a long term program. A lot more structured and rigorous than just going to NA meeting a couple times a week. He has to be willing to participate.

The alternative is you continue to do everything for him and it never ends. Until one day he ends up with an extended prison term for not doing what he is not capable of. That's not a solution...
He has been in multiple drug programs since he was 16. In prison also had dual diagnosis program with drug/mental as part of his sentence.

It has been many years since he has been in a program. During that time his addiction has accelerated. He has been revived with narcan, suffered seizures and had some significant changes to his medical history.
It is ultimately going to be his choice. To make a program work he has to be in the frame of mind and commit to sobriety. The odds are stacked against him.

My concern is I am in my late 60's and all he has. I can assist him and attempt to teach him some basics on life matters but once I am gone, that is it.

He has no friends, girlfriend of 10 years broke up with him 2 years ago and that triggered the upswing in bad behavior. I have also noticed when he has a short spurt of "doing well" he often sabotages his success. It is if he doesn't feel worthy of a decent life. Then he self medicates. The cycle continues
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DisneyFan For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (11-11-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #10  
Old 10-21-2019, 05:12 AM
Firebrand's Avatar
Firebrand Firebrand is offline
The Cowtown Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 2,628
Thanks: 2,348
Thanked 5,798 Times in 1,535 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyFan View Post
He has been in multiple drug programs since he was 16. In prison also had dual diagnosis program with drug/mental as part of his sentence.

It has been many years since he has been in a program. During that time his addiction has accelerated. He has been revived with narcan, suffered seizures and had some significant changes to his medical history.
It is ultimately going to be his choice. To make a program work he has to be in the frame of mind and commit to sobriety. The odds are stacked against him.

My concern is I am in my late 60's and all he has. I can assist him and attempt to teach him some basics on life matters but once I am gone, that is it.

He has no friends, girlfriend of 10 years broke up with him 2 years ago and that triggered the upswing in bad behavior. I have also noticed when he has a short spurt of "doing well" he often sabotages his success. It is if he doesn't feel worthy of a decent life. Then he self medicates. The cycle continues
He reminds me of me when I was his age. And yes, sad as it is to say, it may be that he won't grow up until you are gone. For me it was somewhat that way. I was often the parent though, in my relationship with my folks and it made for a complicated & at times confusing effort to stay sober in a good mental health.
It winds up being over the long haul that addiction and mental illness are parallels in the sense that they require "daily maintenance" whether it be staying plugged in to recovery in some effort like AA or NA. Mental Health often involves therapy and the possible use of medication. If we don't stay on point with these destructive behaviors they get worse, never better. They are progressive illnesses that never go away just because we want them to. We have to take action. WE do it or we wind up in prison. We do it or we wind up in rehab. We do it or we wind up in the grave yard.
If there;s any one thing that needs to be repeated to him over and over and over again it is YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT GOING TO GO AWAY JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT THEM TO OR TRY TO IGNORE THEM. THEY ONLY GET BETTER WHEN YOU TAKE THE APPROPRIATE ACTION EACH DAY. IT IS A DAILY EFFORT AND YOU WILL DO IT THAT WAY OR MATTERS WILL ONLY GET WORSE.
__________________
We're All In This Together
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Firebrand For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (10-21-2019), jeannbean64 (10-22-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #11  
Old 10-21-2019, 09:53 AM
gvalliant gvalliant is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: California
Posts: 767
Thanks: 1,432
Thanked 1,556 Times in 645 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyFan View Post
He has been in multiple drug programs since he was 16. In prison also had dual diagnosis program with drug/mental as part of his sentence.

It has been many years since he has been in a program. During that time his addiction has accelerated. He has been revived with narcan, suffered seizures and had some significant changes to his medical history.
It is ultimately going to be his choice. To make a program work he has to be in the frame of mind and commit to sobriety. The odds are stacked against him.

My concern is I am in my late 60's and all he has. I can assist him and attempt to teach him some basics on life matters but once I am gone, that is it.

He has no friends, girlfriend of 10 years broke up with him 2 years ago and that triggered the upswing in bad behavior. I have also noticed when he has a short spurt of "doing well" he often sabotages his success. It is if he doesn't feel worthy of a decent life. Then he self medicates. The cycle continues
Significant medical problems caused by his mental health and addiction problems. He's done drug treatment programs which usually have some mental health treatment on the side. But not enough. I get that he has to commit and want to get sober. But when there is more than addiction going on - severe depression, hopelessness, amotivation, no one left for him, significant losses in his life (much of his own doing). All those problems are not going to get fixed in a few months at one of these programs. How to expect he will want to get better. A relapse waiting to happen.

In prison inmate can get a few of hours a week with mental health providers, then 170+ hours per week around gangs, drugs, too many apathetic guards who don't care and are sometimes part of the problem themselves. I believe they often sincerely try, but how the hell can psych people overcome the negative effects of that environment.

Just sounds like he needs much more mental health treatment than either of those provide. Can you get him in a frame of mind to want and commit to that?
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gvalliant For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (10-21-2019), lizlizzie2 (10-29-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #12  
Old 10-21-2019, 05:32 PM
DisneyFan DisneyFan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 205
Thanks: 245
Thanked 532 Times in 158 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gvalliant View Post
Significant medical problems caused by his mental health and addiction problems. He's done drug treatment programs which usually have some mental health treatment on the side. But not enough. I get that he has to commit and want to get sober. But when there is more than addiction going on - severe depression, hopelessness, amotivation, no one left for him, significant losses in his life (much of his own doing). All those problems are not going to get fixed in a few months at one of these programs. How to expect he will want to get better. A relapse waiting to happen.

In prison inmate can get a few of hours a week with mental health providers, then 170+ hours per week around gangs, drugs, too many apathetic guards who don't care and are sometimes part of the problem themselves. I believe they often sincerely try, but how the hell can psych people overcome the negative effects of that environment.

Just sounds like he needs much more mental health treatment than either of those provide. Can you get him in a frame of mind to want and commit to that?
That is what I conclude as well, more mental health treatment. When he is sober, he has made better decisions. Not always the best thought out, but on the right track.
I am hopeful once he detoxes from his present drug stupor, he may be seeking some guidance from me. I will take that opportunity to try to lead him to a decision for himself. He has been adamant that the past treatment did him no good, and he knows how to do everything they have to say. That of course is drug addicts speak for "I don't want to go."
There are many things in life we don't want to do, and we don't turn to drugs to numb ourselves so we don't have to face it. That is his vicious cycle.

thank you for your input.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DisneyFan For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (11-11-2019), Mama33 (11-06-2019)
  #13  
Old 11-06-2019, 11:14 PM
Mama33's Avatar
Mama33 Mama33 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: US
Posts: 122
Thanks: 752
Thanked 204 Times in 86 Posts
Default

Your story is so familiar. My son sounds very much like yours. Today he seems ready to give up. He says he just can’t do it anymore. His father and I are very worried that he’ll attempt suicide again. The worry is definitely affecting our health, and we have two other children we need to raise. We’re trying to prepare ourselves and our younger children in case the worst happens, but we feel so out of control every time something goes wrong with him. Our son needs counseling, medication, and possibly a mental institution, not incarceration.

We never seem to get a break from his problems. It’s so wearing, and it’s very hard on our marriage. I’m exhausted. If Purgatory exists, maybe this is it.

In the words of Gilda Radner, “It’s always something.” The drama and problems never seem to end with this kid. He definitely needs more help than what he’s getting, but it just isn’t available to him, and he refuses to take his medication.

I guess we just need to try to find untapped reserves and keep going somehow. It’s good to hear from people like Firebrand who now seems to be on the other side of this and is actually helping people.

Maybe our sons will be there helping someday. We have to keep loving them and being there for them, whatever the cost. Not enabling, but loving unconditionally. Right now we’re in the thick of their mess, and we can’t see a good outcome, but maybe there will be one day. We need to continue to hang in there even when we feel we can hardly function.

I really hope Heaven exists and that we make it there.

I hope things are better for you this week so you can take a breath. I wish I could do something to take a little bit of this burden away from you, but I know that’s not possible. Just know that you are not alone. My heart is with you.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Mama33 For This Useful Post:
4Bobby (11-07-2019), fbopnomore (11-07-2019), Taliba00 (11-10-2019), trauma4us (11-08-2019)
  #14  
Old 11-09-2019, 05:00 PM
lizlizzie2's Avatar
lizlizzie2 lizlizzie2 is offline
Liz
 

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,049
Thanks: 2,049
Thanked 1,687 Times in 646 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama33 View Post
We have to keep loving them and being there for them, whatever the cost. Not enabling, but loving unconditionally. Right now we’re in the thick of their mess, and we can’t see a good outcome, but maybe there will be one day. We need to continue to hang in there even when we feel we can hardly function.
Even when the outcomes seems to be going positively, it is so hard to trust it. For 12 years, that round and round of mental health professionals, inpatient treatment, emergency rooms, drugs and alcohol, followed by 7 years in jail and prison. The amount of energy, not to mention money, we have all put out there hoping that our children will find their way out of their own hell while trying to maintain our own sanity.

Yes, for now my son seems ok, but I know it is constantly in the back of my mind. I also know his journey and his time in prison has affected his thinking and how he reacts to things, resulting in us at odds, and his view of things being skewed. He works hard, he tries to better himself, and he is sober, but he has no sympathy and little compassion. We want them to be whole, but they have to do it for themselves, we can't do it for them.

One thing I have learned, mostly since being here, is that we are not alone. Unfortunately, there are too many of us and too many of our children suffering from mental health and addiction issues. And as Mama33 said, all we can do is love them unconditionally, don't enable, hang in there, and be there for each other.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to lizlizzie2 For This Useful Post:
DisneyFan (11-09-2019), gvalliant (11-11-2019), LynnD (11-09-2019), Mama33 (11-17-2019), trauma4us (11-09-2019)
  #15  
Old 11-10-2019, 12:04 AM
DisneyFan DisneyFan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 205
Thanks: 245
Thanked 532 Times in 158 Posts
Default

LizLizzie

I appreciate your comments. It is so true that we love them unconditionally. We may not like or agree with their choices, but that Mama Love is constant.

The hardest thing about this journey, is the fact that we didn't choose it. Not by a long shot.

My son in his teen years used to feel if he did something that involved consequences he would serve the punishment. Not so. We suffer the punishment right along with them. We may not be physically incarcerated, but the repercussions for us are significant.

I call that the offender domino effect. The offender's crime filters down and changes our life as well.

I am sick of it.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DisneyFan For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (11-11-2019), lizlizzie2 (11-16-2019), Mama33 (11-17-2019)
  #16  
Old 11-10-2019, 07:14 AM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 827
Thanks: 866
Thanked 1,079 Times in 483 Posts
Default

So agree with all of the above. The families suffer too. Its hard.

Our neighbors are going thru this now -t heir son was just arrested in a high profile case and of course the media and social media are all about it. I truly know what they are going thru - its so hard and I feel so bad for them.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to trauma4us For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (11-11-2019), lizlizzie2 (11-16-2019), Mama33 (11-17-2019)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Back from FV and I'm Happy!!!!!!! dania North Kern State Prison (NKSP) - California 3 02-15-2008 10:11 AM
Back from my visit and happy! cin GPT Phones, Mail, and Visitation Discussions 10 05-06-2005 09:09 AM
Back home happy/sad sunrise Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 5 06-14-2003 09:15 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:56 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics