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Old 08-07-2020, 08:42 AM
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Default Will this year ever end?

good lord. It feels like a total waste of a year. I had some plans for this summer. All of them thwarted by this pandemic. Cant do much.
Our county is still one of those on the CA watch list. (over a certain percentage etc etc..blah blah)
Im good about mask wearing, and staying close to home.
but Im soooooo incredibly bored. Ive watched more tv than I'd care to admit. Ive gone out to lunch (outdoor venue) 2x's. And we have gotten take out a few times as well.
I was glad when stores other than grocery stores opened up so I could do a bit of clothes shopping. (badly needed)
The online shopping just was not cutting it.
Going online to check out here and fb the latter pissing me off with some of the things Ive read on there. ( (election crap, maskholes behavior, murder hornets, conspiracy bs)


Im so ready for this crap to be over. I should count my blessings in that my hub is not still in prison, so I dont have that to worry about. I try to be positive, but I really feel alot of apathy. Really flat.
I dont even laugh at stuff that is supposed to be funny. I think its funny, but I dont really muster a laugh.
ok, take that back. I laughed at a friends post the other day.
It was a photo of her niece taken a few yrs ago. Approx. a 8-10 month old baby girl. Little bald head. Dressed up in a black turtleneck and black makeup around her eyes with the cutest little toothless grin. She was Uncle Fester for halloween.


Anyone else just feeling so blah?
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Old 08-07-2020, 12:51 PM
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I don't know if what I feel right now is blah or not. I know I've been dealing with a bit of anxiety, which is strange for me, but a lot has been going on here.


A lof of family drama concerning my MIL was taking place. That finally ended when she passed at the end of June. However, the drama wasn't done until after the funeral. All I can say is the whole thing ended with the family ceasing all contact with my husband's youngest sister. It would take a book to tell it all.



I haven't really suffered through Covid like other people. I am considered an "essential" worker, so I never lost my job. Masks at work and fever checking...I can deal with all of that.The industry as a whole is doing bad and we've had layoffs. I could be next, but I just don't think about it.


Dealing with my husband's alcoholism that popped up is the worst thing right now. He is more than likely going back to jail. That's another book, and it's worrisome to me because he has severe COPD. However, I didn't cause him to do the stupid shit he did. I'm a survivor, and I don't need him. Horrible thing to say, but I refuse to lay down and die over somebody else's stupidity.


Been going through plenty changes over here, but I ain't dead yet.

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Old 08-07-2020, 01:27 PM
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While we suffer they profit.
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Old 08-07-2020, 01:31 PM
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seems never ending. personally i have been getting some bad slams. friends getting a stroke, other friend diagnosed cancer, i have lengthy business trip after just getting my girl home, on and on. covid is shitty but damn the year is piling it on!!!
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Old 08-07-2020, 03:04 PM
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Don't ask... I have been in Panama for 7 months now, 5+ of those now in lockdown. Nothing is open but supermarkets, pharmacies and some other, small businesses. It sucks. It sucks so much that I have spoken to my boss about going back. She would allow me to sit this virus out in Europe/Germany but I would have to couch-surf and I don't want that. Extremely stressed and unhappy and if I wouldn't have my cat now, I'd be going crazy.
Our building has a pool and a gym, all closed.
I'm allowed to go out 3x per week for 2 hours only at a specific time according to the last number on my passport. Total curfew from Friday 7pm through Monday 5am.
Panama is still a corrupt, Latin American country, most of the $$$ goes into some pockets, we still have around new cases per day but to none's surprise, they shut down the economy and people are poor here. They go outside and hustle.

Besides... I kind of told my guy that I'm not sending any more money for calls. It has been a one-way street for way too long and I'm sick of it. No support whatsoever from him. I know he likes/loves me but nothing is coming into my direction. I'm tired, so tired of it. I've told him he can still call me but on his dime or someone else's dime. I'm pretty much done. I'm sad but I'm tired of it all. This situation here enhanced what I've been feeling all along and I kept telling him how I feel but he's all focused on getting home and there's just no space and room in his life for a relationship. I understand all that but I have to take care of myself.
Maybe it's not over yet, the fat lady hasn't sung yet, but for now... kiss my still somewhat firm ass...
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Old 08-07-2020, 05:29 PM
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Sounds like everyone is going thru it. It does just suck. All of it. Sucks.
I know at some point we will all come thru it on the other end. I just wish it would hurry up.
I'd considered trying to go back to work someplace, maybe part time. Mostly for something to do. I'd thought about maybe volunteering, maybe taking a class.
Not gonna try now with all the mask crap that we must do. Im lucky to be able to deal with it, just for grocery shopping. But I hate it too, but I do it. I understand why, and I comply.
Oh well. Just venting a bit I guess.


I must need to see my grandson. He always makes me smile, and feel happy.
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Old 08-08-2020, 09:23 AM
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LT and Mizzy-- I'm sorry to read your relationship updates. This is has been a year, for sure. You two are tough cookies and I know you'll pull through whatever outcomes may be.

I've been lucky but covid hit our relationship hard. I've posted about it several times but basically it extended his prison term by six months thanks to lockdown in a transitional home. He's handled it well. Me, not so much. Like SW said-- all the summer plans down the drain.

I've had it with covid. Literally and figuratively. I was sick a while back and unlike my predicted demise being immunosuppressed, I got through it. So last week I threw caution to the wind and took a vacation to Sedona, AZ. I live in a hotspot already so travelling in the state didn't rattle me. I went with a friend and her family. We all masked and mostly stayed on the hotel grounds save for a wild off-road trip that sparked so much joy I can't even explain. I swam for the first time in 10 years or so and slept away a few days in peace and quiet (hotel was mostly empty). Take that, covid.

Other than getting my husband actually home, can't wait for the election season to be over and whatever backlash may come. Lord, let it be minimal.
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Old 08-09-2020, 04:34 AM
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I think most people feel the same way on this planet earth!



Some feelings are luxury problems, for others a minor matter. I've been at home since March, working at home. Not so easy in a big city and living in a "small" apartment. The masks are a no problem at all and the number of cases and corona management are good here in my part of Europe. Being restricted is no fun for anyone and you often reach your own limits. For me the worst part is actually that I can't travel to the USA this year to see people who mean a lot to me. That is the emotional part. Otherwise we don't have much choices but to sit it out. Waiting for 2021 and praying that it will be halfway back to normal soon. Even if the new normal will also be different than before.

Thankfully I have 5 five weeks vacation each year. I was already traveling in my country for 2 weeks. Hiking in the mountains, swimming in mountain lakes. Having lots of friends with a pool makes it more bearable. But I'm tired as a city dweller. Zero green all around. LOL. Now I'm looking forward to seeing the sea for a few days in September. Since Italy borders directly on my country and it is good in that part of Italy, I am looking forward to getting out.

It can only get better! Hopefully for all of us.
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Old 08-10-2020, 12:41 AM
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I listen to how many feel about what's taking place and for those of us on the healthcare side, we're wedged between what everyone doesn't see and our lives that pattern the rest of society.

The night that stopped me in my tracks when my shift began was walking into the entrance realizing that there were no visitors coming or going, only staff. It was an eery feeling matched with a calming look in each other's eyes as we try to smile and greet each other as we make it through another day. Knowing how many of your colleagues were furloughed with the hope of getting their jobs back, only to find out that would not happen. Others are working as screeners to supplement income in the meantime.

That was nearly 3 months ago.

I would love for all of this to be over. To not hear codes that signal that someone was not resuscitated and their life has ended with or without a loved one nearby.

My normal isn't to much different from before. I became accustomed to being home most of the time caring for my mother, so being active and engaging, was limited to errands.

2020 has taught me a different level of appreciation and patience that is sprinkled with sadness. I know there's an end to this as with all things before. What's required for us to reach that part of this journey, is the hardest to understand.
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Old 08-10-2020, 06:45 AM
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I cant even imagine working in the healthcare field, especially during this time. Im pretty sure I do not have the emotional capacity for it. Heck, I can cry at commercials.
Funny how a virus can cripple the world.
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Old 08-10-2020, 08:13 AM
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This is a really tough year for us all. Iv'e only been for short walks since mid March and seen my friends since then either. I;m working from home bit it's a struggle.You have to see the funny side though. This is very prison like.In fact the other day I caught myself wearing grey sweats and white canvas keds copies almost exactly like i wore in mu fere months inside!
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Old 08-13-2020, 02:51 AM
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Default Covid- I'm over it

Covid hasn't really changed my life much at all. I think my experience of COVID is rare.
I already "socially distanced" since my husband died, so I wasn't phased by that part.
I am an essential worker so I've worked straight through. the only difference is wearing the mask and temp checks. The limited supplies-I worked in third world countries prior to this so...I see it as a reminder for me. The death part--I work in geriatrics so I am already used to that too. I am loving the no visitor policy for sure and the reduced traffic.
School was already online for me so that didn't skip a beat either.
My church already had an online platform to share the preacher's messages so...I am sorry every one else has had/is having a hard time. I count my blessings every day.
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Old 08-13-2020, 09:57 AM
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My normal isn't to much different from before. I became accustomed to being home most of the time caring for my mother, so being active and engaging, was limited to errands.
This was us, too. Between my mom's health the last few years and my dad's dementia, my outings were mostly necessary shopping trips and doctor's appointments. So I'm not feeling the isolation as much as others might.

You remind me of an interesting point, though. Those of us with caregiving roles at home are (mostly) adjusted to the isolation, however, our slim lines of assistance have been trimmed even more. My dad had been going to a day program several times a week to give my mom and I a break. That closed mid-March. The first few months were awful. He was angry, didn't understand why we couldn't go to the store or his day program or anything. His frustration and lashing out spiked. End of June the state was able to shift funding to home care workers and we now have a "dad sitter" twice a week for four hours. That has helped. We also get meals for him delivered and that has lessened the burden a bit, as well. Mom and I can scavenge for food but dad can't.

If you know someone who was caregiving before covid, you might want to check on them. While the day to day plans for us haven't changed much, the support system we had access to has become taxed heavily. It wasn't much to begin with. Things that help the most are phone calls/text to ask how we're coping (our loved one is the focus of most of our communication), no-contact care boxes (prepared snacks, a coffee with a little note, pizza delivery, a Redbox DVD). Please avoid the phrase "If you need anything, let me know." We're not likely to do that. We don't know what your comfort level, availability or skills may be and we know what it feels like to be burdened. Anything you're able to do is appreciated.
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Old 08-13-2020, 12:18 PM
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I have gone to work daily in a prison. It has been tough watching guys losing the human connection.
But then I look at picture of children with masks on... Covid has affected everyone some how, and taken it’s toll. As humans we all share this stress.
I have stopped watching broadcast news, as I feel the worlds woes drain me.
But as always, this too shall pass.
Be well all.
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Old 08-13-2020, 03:05 PM
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Im so ready for this year to be over! However, I want to be able to leave this entire mess of a year in this year, I dont want it to carry over into the next.

My daughters started school yesterday. Freshmen and Senior in highschool and things are so different for them. I am soo thankful they have been able to go back at least for a little while, I feel if they dont get a cure or something before fall hits then they will shut the schools back down.

Somedays I truly feel like we are in a movie. Never would I have thought I would witness anything like this in my lifetime. Between the virus, the election, the riots and protests, this year has turned out to be a horror movie. The only good news this year has had for me is that my LO HOPEFULLY will be home in November.

Other than that, this year can kick rocks!
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Old 08-15-2020, 06:51 AM
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**But then I look at picture of children with masks on.***


This. I babysat my grandson yesterday. As a treat, I took him to McDonalds...I wanted him to eat something (he's picky and had only eaten about 4 bites of his waffle for breakfast and popcorn for snack) so I wanted to get him to eat. Bribery. lol.
So we parked and planned to eat on the outdoor patio. I told him hey, we have to wear our masks. His mom got him one and we brought it.

I put it on him and bam.........no issues with it, No pulling at it. Just slapped it on him, and he was totally fine with it. Got our food and went outside to eat it. (thank god he ate.....I dont know how 4yo's survive on what little they eat, I swear)

Im still shaking my head over it.
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Old 08-21-2020, 06:45 AM
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I keep seeing the new curse word. I'll go 2020 on them, or its so 2020.
lol @ one. Has a photo of Bill Murray......and it says.....Its quarantine day. Again.


This year has really been over the top. In my area, its the fires. On top of everything else. I was just saying last week, what are we gonna do if there are evacuations with this covid stuff still going on? Where are they gonna put people? At least SO far....its not been on the scale as prior years but I dont wanna jinx anything.
2020 has shown me.......think its bad now? Hold my beer.
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Old 08-22-2020, 08:39 AM
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Well, SW, I know how rough it is over there. Over here, we have two tropical storms headed our way. Whatever.................
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Old 08-22-2020, 09:10 AM
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My union may go on strike... you couldn't make up this year if you tried
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Old 08-22-2020, 12:31 PM
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good lord. It feels like a total waste of a year. I had some plans for this summer. All of them thwarted by this pandemic. Cant do much.
Our county is still one of those on the CA watch list. (over a certain percentage etc etc..blah blah)
Im good about mask wearing, and staying close to home.
but Im soooooo incredibly bored. Ive watched more tv than I'd care to admit. Ive gone out to lunch (outdoor venue) 2x's. And we have gotten take out a few times as well.
I was glad when stores other than grocery stores opened up so I could do a bit of clothes shopping. (badly needed)
The online shopping just was not cutting it.
Going online to check out here and fb the latter pissing me off with some of the things Ive read on there. ( (election crap, maskholes behavior, murder hornets, conspiracy bs)

Nope Its Groundhog day and Democrats will milk this situation for everything it is worth....


Im so ready for this crap to be over. I should count my blessings in that my hub is not still in prison, so I dont have that to worry about. I try to be positive, but I really feel alot of apathy. Really flat.
I dont even laugh at stuff these Dat is supposed to be funny. I think its funny, but I dont really muster a laugh.
ok, take that back. I laughed at a friends post the other day.
It was a photo of her niece taken a few yrs ago. Approx. a 8-10 month old baby girl. Little bald head. Dressed up in a black turtleneck and black makeup around her eyes with the cutest little toothless grin. She was Uncle Fester for halloween.


Anyone else just feeling so blah?
Nope Its Groundhog day and Democrats will milk this situation for everything it is worth.... Im feeling angry not blah..
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Old 08-24-2020, 11:49 AM
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**and Democrats will milk this situation for everything it is worth.**
??? Strange comment. No one person is responsible for the virus. Only person responsible for the fires is Mother nature......and she dont care.


We may have different views on what to do with the pandemic, but I'll go with keeping our distance, wearing a mask if I have to (and I do in my state in indoor public places, or when you cant keep your distance of 6 feet) Trust me I hate this too, but I fail to see how *milking it* benefits anyone..or maybe Im not understanding its *worth*

I digress.
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Old 08-24-2020, 12:00 PM
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Last election season we tore each other apart. I participated. I'm not doing it this time. I'll ask anyone who wants to join me to do the same.

SW-- I saw that something like 100 separate fires were started by lightning the other day. Must be traumatic given that so many lost so much to fire only recently. I watch my horse pages and share any feed or boarding offers to evacuees as we're so close to the border.

LT-- I listened to a weather guy on the radio and they were saying that this convergence of two storms is unprecedented and that they want every one to have 72hrs of supplies accessible because the first round will render emergency response useless come the second.

Please take care of yourself and one another if you're able. Praying for all.
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Old 08-25-2020, 08:07 AM
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It seems the horse community up here was well prepared for the most part. I know they have accomedations for livestock at the county fair grounds.
One group Sonoma Cart is doing alot to assist with evacuation efforts.
Things are better in some ways with the fires thanks in part to the weather. fingers crossed.
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LT-- I listened to a weather guy on the radio and they were saying that this convergence of two storms is unprecedented and that they want every one to have 72hrs of supplies accessible because the first round will render emergency response useless come the second.

Please take care of yourself and one another if you're able. Praying for all.

Thank you, mia! The first one fizzled out and is just drifting away out there. I'm more concerned about the next one. It appears we'll be east of the storm, which is the worst place to be. I'm ready, and I'll probably sleep though it all anyway.
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Just saw that...I forget the name of that storm already but heard its supposed to be a hurricane. Joy. Just joy.
Hang on LT....
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