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GPT Phones, Mail, and Visitation Discussions Please post topics or discussions here that do not fit in the appropriate state or federal forums.

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  #1  
Old 07-07-2011, 04:59 PM
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Default Writing dilemma, should I keep writing a friend?

Okay I'll try to explain this as well as I can while keeping it short.

My husband has had no problem with me writing an old co-worker of mine when he got locked up. However I was writing him (I'll call him x to make this easier) and x's gf who was locked up to to pass messages to each other till she got out, he gots years she got months.

Anyway she has been out about a month and has decided to end things with him. I found out b/c he sent me a letter yesterday telling me this. I'm not surprised by the news, she got with him while her then boyfriend was serving only a 6 months sentence. I love the girl to death she is a good person but not cut out for this life. Okay long story short, he said that he hoped that I wouldn't stop writing him b/c he would have no one else to write to him.

I don't think my husband will mind, I've asked him if he will b/c passing messages is one thing (yes I know it was technically wrong but thats not the point here) and writing a single guy is another thing..I trust my husband completely but would still be a bit uncomfy with him writing a chick who was single as just a friend.

Would you keep writing x? Would it matter what your guy thought? Pretty much what would you do in my place.
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Old 07-07-2011, 05:11 PM
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That's a tough one since you have been writing him for a while, but I know that if it was me, my guy wouldn't be okay with it! It's one thing to pass messages along when he's writing his girlfriend. It's another to write a single guy even if it has the intent of being as friends. I would feel bad just dropping off as well, but I also know how important this would be to my guy and at the end of the day, his feelings matter more than the other guy. Good luck!
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Old 07-07-2011, 05:33 PM
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I agree with Lil peep. It is a tough call. I think my man's feelings would really be the key element. Any real friend should understand if you do end up having to stop writing. Maybe talk to your man and see if there is a middle ground somewhere like birthday cards, christmas cards, things like that? Just throwing it out there. My man would not be ok with me writing to someone else, but that's just him.

I wish you luck with this one. Hope it works out for everyone. Maybe your friend would be ok with you helping find a pen pal on one of those inmate penpal sites?
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Old 07-07-2011, 05:54 PM
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Before I made a decision, I would ask my husband. My loyalty is to him first and his feelings matter before those of a friend,
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Old 07-07-2011, 06:00 PM
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My guy wouldn't care as long as it was as friends ONLY. I have pen pals and as far as I know they are single but I don't care about their love lives and I have NO interest in them romantically in ANY way. So he doesn't care who I write as long as it is on a friendship basis. But this co-worker it depends on how much of a friend I considered him. If you were only writing him to pass messages on to him from his girlfriend but they are no longer together then really you have no reason to write him anymore. You could always put up a pen pal ad for him. I don't know what to tell you besides talk to HIM.
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Old 07-07-2011, 06:08 PM
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I'm definitely asking x about putting up a penpal ad, I have a few in my blog and belong to a couple on facebook and have gotten penpals for other guys.

It was mostly to pass on messages back an forth, but we were all friends to. Well work associates I don't hang out with anyone.

LOL I"m probably to nice but I just hate to leave anyone with out anyone to write to or have contact with. Especially after learning about what prison is really like. My husbands opinion is really going to be the deciding factor.

Thanks guys
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Old 07-07-2011, 06:58 PM
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I think it's just fine. Not a problem.
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