Do you take the crime into account when writing a penpal?

[Sewergrrl]

I personally will not write those convicted of crimes against children or animals.

[balius]

Hi, newbie here, just joined tonight.

I write to several, and some are in for things that I am sure would make many stop writing to them. I have no boundaries on this, and do not even ask them, though they usually tell me.

I do not know if they could change, and some I would not let around my children because of what they have done. But I will still offer words of hope.

[princess*hk]

I personally would have a problem writing to someone who has hurt a child in anyway.
how low can someone be to hurt a defenseless child! Its pathetic.

[cuddleadict]

I do not take the crime into account. I write several people that are incarcerated for minor drug offences to those in for very serious crimes.

[CharlotteLoves]

I would have a problem with:

-->anyone who killed or abused a child or an elderly person (for example, killing an elderly person while in the process of robbing them)

-->anyone who has tortured another person

-->spousal abusers (I have studied the subject, they usually don't change)

-->sex offenders (any kind) (again, usually don't change)

-->anyone who killed their mate (or anyone else, for that matter) in a particularly brutal way and/or who defiled the victim after death (example, husband kills wife and dismembers to hide evidence)

-->convicted serial killer

A lot of these indicate deep, deep-seated psychological issues I wouldn't want to touch with a 10-foot pole.

That being said, I write to someone convicted of 1st degree murder who is in for LWOP. I don't mind writing to him because he was a young, reckless juvenile when he committed the crime and it's been scientifically proven that juveniles' brains function differently than adults, he has taken responsibility for what he did, I know the details of the case (drug deal between teenagers gone bad, both sides with guns). He was just acting like a stupid kid from a broken home who did a really stupid thing.

I would have to know the details of a murder conviction to know if I could continue a correspondence with an individual, but I think I can say right off the bat that I wouldn't knowingly even start a correspondence with someone like a serial killer or the others I mentioned.....

[2cuteNclassy]

I would have a problem writing sex offenders, people with crimes against children or the elderly; things like that are just un-excuseable to me!

[RE4040]

I think any crime committed against a child would most likely have me backing off but then again, we all should be careful about who we start talking/writing to no matter what the crime.

[heidiii]

As someone mentioned earlier in this thread, I do to believe that people are capable of change, and that everyone has good in them, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable with child molestation. And things done to other defenceless people, like physically or mentally challenged people.
I guess no crime - except civil disobedince - makes me feel comfortable, but there are some things I can get past, and some things I cannot.

[princess*hk]

i definately would NEVER write to someone that has hurt a child in anyway!
i probably wouldnt write to someone who has gone out of there way to hurt another human either.
some people are too evil to be kind to.

[txred9876]

Reading through these responses its almost strange.... why if some of you have such reservations about this crime or that crime I would never write...

Who are we to judge another? What if it was your family memeber who was...say accused by an ex-wife of horrible things against your child....had no money and they threatened you with 70 years but if you "plea" to something you did not do you will get 10 years and be out in say 7. This whole...oh there isn't that many innocent people in prison. There are more then we care to admit. I just use this example because it is one that most said they would not write to.

This is just my two cents... I write one woman in for conspiracy to commit murder and the one who pulled the trigger got 20 years and she got 40-life....you never know...until you write many letters...over time...to understand who may or many not be innocent...or who might have been a teen at the time of the crime.

Another guy is in for a whole raft of charges and I never asked but his last letter he wanted me to know and he said he was a horrible drug addict who cared only about the drugs. He has been in 27 years on a 75 year sentence. He has changed a lot in those 27 years.

One I write is in ad-sec for gangs but we have not talked about it. He has been in for quite a while and we have kids the same age ect...so we do have things to talk about ....

One I am writing on death row and I actually at first steared away from people on death row. I told him this...and in several letters we have actually had a pretty good debate going over different topics. I later found out his was both the sex crime and the child. I am not going to stop writing....but I am not going to ask about his crime either. I do not wish to know the details.

All I am saying is... I do not understand how people can write inmates but be so judgemental against one crime over another without knowing the details of the crime.

just my two cents
tina

[RE4040]

I honestly thought I would care about the crime but I don't!

[Logan1492]

I had an interesting experience...I started writing a woman in prison in Texas. She seemed a good person. After some time I went and looked up her record out of curiosity and found that she had been convicted of prostitution... I don't know what to think about this. (She did not tell me about this...she made up a different story about why she was in prison. Maybe she was just embarrassed to disclose this and so I shouldn't hold it against her that she lied....)

[Logan1492]

I had an interesting experience...I started writing a woman in prison in Texas. She seemed a good person. After some time I went and looked up her record out of curiosity and found that she had been convicted of prostitution... I don't know what to think about this. (She did not tell me about this...she made up a different story about why she was in prison. Maybe she was just embarrassed to disclose this and so I shouldn't hold it against her that she lied....)

[xxPepsixx]

I write to one guy and I know the title of his crime but not details and I have looked past that and got to know him.
Now I am very fond of him and we have lots in common so I really dont feel I need to know what he is in for. He is making changes in his life for the better and I will do all I can to support him.

[Abril5003]

I wouldn't write to anyone that has done anything to a child. Maybe it be rape, moleste, beat, kill and anything else there is. I personally wouldn't write someone on DR. That is just me and more power to the ones that do.

[I_Am_Lost]

I really do think that it depends of the circumstances and the specific case. But I believe that everyone makes mistakes and is capable of change.

[DrRomanberry]

Rape has always been, in my mind, the one unforgivable crime there is. Even murder can be forgiven and understood, but not rape. If anyone thinks any differently, I'd love to know.

So I cannot see myself ever writing to anyone actually convicted of rape. As I understand from all I've read/heard/seen, rape is like the muder of someone's soul. It just doesn't get any worse than that. Even a physical murder, I think, is not as bad as the murder of someone's soul.

Ironically enough, I have plans to write to a convicted child molester (he pled guilty; crime was one incident against a teenage boy). I also have a nice friend who is incarcerated for first-degree murder; we keep in touch through letters.

I think it is a great and worthwhile experience to write to someone who is in prison, and I would definitely encourage it, but with caution.


Respectfully,

DrRomanberry

[DrRomanberry]

(pardon the misspelling of "murder" once in my above post - actually, just a typo; it was too late to edit that by the time I noticed)

[RedHerring]

DrRomanberry,
I do find it strange that you say you wouldn't write a convicted rapist, yet you are going to write a child molester.
So is it no rapists unless they rape a child, or is it just calling it "molestation" instead of child rape makes the deed different?
A rose by any other name....

[DrRomanberry]

I was speaking of rape committed forcibly.


Respectfully,

DrRomanberry

[xxPepsixx]

But offering a kid sweets to 'touch them up' isnt showing some kind of force?

I understand what some may think of as hideous crimes others may be able to look past. Its all a matter of personal choice. In Gods eye a sin is a sin and we are told to hate the sin but love the sinner!!!

[Thumper81]

Originally Posted by RedHerring

DrRomanberry,
I do find it strange that you say you wouldn't write a convicted rapist, yet you are going to write a child molester.
So is it no rapists unless they rape a child, or is it just calling it "molestation" instead of child rape makes the deed different?
A rose by any other name....

actually there is a HUGE difference

[JodyAnnShaw]

I'm glad this thread got brought back up because I find it very, very interesting on how judgemental some people are.

I was locked up for 2nd degree burglary, conspriracy to commite armed robbery, and accessory after the fact of murder. My mother was hell bent on the fact that I was the only 'good person' in prison. It took me a lot of years to get her to change her line of thinking.

IMO... I believe it's pretty hypocritical to 'go to bat' for certain inmates, then shun others before knowing the details of their crime!
As for the initial question.. I do not care what the person is doing time for, as long as he or she doesn't lie to me about it.
Just my opinion

[tweedybird]

I found out a person I wrote cards and letters to a few times attacked a homeless man and killed him. It was unprovoked. I found that horrifying. I think brutal attacks on disabled and elderly, and children are especially heinous. Embezzling bothers me.

I find that a lot of times what they call the charges doesn't really accurately describe what happened. I would not judge a person harshly for statutory rape type cases when the guy was just a few years older.

I couldn't write someone who raped and killed a child to cover up the crime, or who raped them period. However Kirk Bloodsworth got the death penalty for such a case and was totally innocent and the 1st man exonerated based on DNA.
When it comes to rape with adults, I would not judge them on that. There are too many factors there.

Two years ago I was shocked to find out a good friend at my church, my age, who lived with her mother, had killed her 2 yr old years ago. Shot him in the head. She was psychotic, a paranoid schitzophrenic. She drank herself to death two years ago. She had been in a Mexican prison but got out after very little time because of her mental illness. So you never know about the people you think you know from work, neighborhood etc!

[SexyChef1]

The only one I really cant stomach is Sex crimes or Child Molestation. Fortunately Soldado is in on Distribution or Marijuana charges...Im not so sure I would have wrote him if it was something really heavy.