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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.79%
That he will re-offend 245 25.28%
That he will get hurt in prison 280 28.90%
Other 291 30.03%
Voters: 969. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 03-17-2009, 09:27 PM
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Exclamation What is your biggest fear in all this?

I know theres been a lot that I worry about. But for me, the thing I'm most scared of is not even whether my bf will do something stupid again coz I dont worry about that.. but its the thought of losing him when this is all over. I still have that little insecure thought at the back of my mind even though he's never done anything to warrant it.

Oh and I voted for "other" ..
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:44 PM
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My biggest fear through all of this is that I won't know the person who comes out of prison. He was in his 20s when he committed his crime, and is in his 40s now. For me, the 30s were all about figuring out who I was, what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be. He spent his 30s behind bars being told what to do and when to do it. We visit, write, and talk on the phone - I do know where his head is at now and his plans for the future. I think he is expecting too much from himself when he gets out. Life after prison can't be easy and I don't want to see him fail.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:46 PM
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I fear that he wont change for the better.All that I want from him is for him to just see that his old thoughts,old habits,and alot of his friends were no good for him,and although I'd like to say let go of all of those things completely.Because there really is no place for those disasterous things in his future.I can't do anything,but continue to be there,and continue to encourage him because the last thing I want to do is push him away to the things that will hurt him.It's not an easy task,but I feel that I am the one for the task.So major improvement is all that I pray for.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:49 PM
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my biggest fear was the he would get hep c or something worst from getting tattoos but he's been checked everything is good and he said he don't wanna go through that again so he's gonna wait til he comes home to get anymore my biggest fear now is thunder and lighting
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:51 PM
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I agree with knc. I fear that he won't survive life after prison. I've seen it happen over and over again(brother and father)who did time in prison and got out and went back to old behaviors b/c it was so hard afterwards and not realizing that it wasn't gonna be the way it was before they went. So that said,i will try my best to help him back into society and be there for him.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:53 PM
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I voted That he will get hurt in prison I do not worry about the other stuff. I think of all the stories he has told me about prison and the stuff you hear about on the news. It scares me to think he could get hurt in there and I cannot do anything about it but wait to find out. I pray every night nothing ever happens to him fortunately nothing has happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jack&diane View Post
I know theres been a lot that I worry about. But for me, the thing I'm most scared of is not even whether my bf will do something stupid again coz I dont worry about that.. but its the thought of losing him when this is all over. I still have that little insecure thought at the back of my mind even though he's never done anything to warrant it.

Oh and I voted for "other" ..
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  #7  
Old 03-17-2009, 10:06 PM
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I voted other because my biggest fear while he is away is someone he is close with dying. It's hard enough to lose someone you love but then if it happened while he was back there alone and couldn't even have a chance to say goodbye I don't even want to think about it. The year after he went in his best friend was killed and he still has a hard time dealing with that so I know he can't take losing anyone else.
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Old 03-17-2009, 10:35 PM
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i fear that he won't be able to get a job when he gets out...well a decent paying one..because we are young yet, and want to have a family...so badly...and i know he's not gonna get hurt or anything like that cause he's in a camp....i just want to ensure we'll be able to have a normal life..
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Old 03-17-2009, 10:36 PM
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I worry that my husband will get hurt in prison because he just had back surgery and they put in 2 rods and 6 screws. I know that he can and will defend himself, but I don't want him to get into any kind of altercation.
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:29 PM
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my biggest fear is that we wont click when he comes home. hes 29 and im 20 and i've always been told you change alot between 18 and 25 and he wont be out till im 24 so I;m really afraid that it wont be the same when he comes home I visit alot and talk to him as often as i can but still in the back of my head........
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:33 PM
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i put getting hurt because its so common you never know what will happen in there but im also afarid he wont stay faithful not to me but to God i dont want him losing his devotion just because hes out i want him to be grateful always and not get into his old life style so those are my fears his faith and sincerity and his physical well being
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:35 PM
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Honestly my biggest fears are "every damn thing life brings at us.." The only fear I don't have is my guy reoffending... I believe with every fiber in my being that him and jail don't mix... But life is so hard right now for non offenders I can only imagine what it'll be like for offenders/felons...

But that's a task I'm willing to take on so we shall see

Too Be Continued
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:51 PM
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My son was incarverated at 20 and is now 26. Right now he is in a good frame of mind. His heart is not hard and his soul is not cold, he wants to only come home and start living a goofd life. I hope he stays safe and doesn';t get med and hardened from 7 years behind bars. He has grown and finally found religion. I hope he keeps a gpositive outlook and can relate to life outside easy and become the wonderful man he was always meant to be.
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:53 PM
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My son was incarverated at 20 and is now 26. Right now he is in a good frame of mind. His heart is not hard and his soul is not cold, he wants to only come home and start living a good life. I hope he stays safe and doesn't get mad and hardened from 7 years behind bars. He has grown and finally found religion. I hope he keeps a positive outlook and can relate to life outside easy and become the wonderful man he was always meant to be.
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Old 03-18-2009, 12:56 AM
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that one of us wont make it to his first chance at parole, never mind any following ones he might need.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:59 AM
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My biggest worrie would be him getting hurt in there or his mother or grandmother passing while he's in there as well.
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Old 03-18-2009, 05:07 AM
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I voted other because my biggest fear is I won't recognize him when he gets out - that he'll be a totally different person (character wise) so we won't function as a couple anymore
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Old 03-18-2009, 05:31 AM
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My fear is many things from can he stay away from the streets or will their call be to loud ?Will we make it together or have we changed to much?Will freedom be harder for him than walls and bars ? Mostly I worry that after all this time we can't save what we have been trying so hard to hold on to?That our child will be hurt all over again because we can't make it work ? I pray that God's will be done in my family and he helps do what he would have us to for I know thats all I can do at this point is PRAY.
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Old 03-18-2009, 05:51 AM
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i have much hope for marc but sometimes, depending on the day i do have fears.#1)that he won't keep God first when he gets out and 2)that he will get very discouraged if he can't get a job right away and 3) that i won't be able to make him happy or satisfied.(the last one he says is completely insane, but i can't help how i feel!!)
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pebsmom View Post
My son was incarverated at 20 and is now 26. Right now he is in a good frame of mind. His heart is not hard and his soul is not cold, he wants to only come home and start living a goofd life. I hope he stays safe and doesn';t get med and hardened from 7 years behind bars. He has grown and finally found religion. I hope he keeps a gpositive outlook and can relate to life outside easy and become the wonderful man he was always meant to be.
Oh this is so scary! My worst fear is that for the little time that my son has left to do on his sentence(40 days)......he will be "violated" by some predator and or he will have to defend himself and end up killing someone! He was sent to Polk Correctional Institution in Butner, NC on Friday, March 13th after spending 4 months and 20 days in the county jail. He is from Fayetteville. I knew that it was a possibility that he would have to go to prison to finish his sentence.....but I never imagined he would have to go to a prison this far away being that he had such a short time to complete. If there is anyone who can give me any info on how to get my son transferred out of there.......please help!
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:24 AM
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Relapse is my biggest fear.
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:24 AM
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I voted hurt in prison. I always worry about his temper and attitude in there. He has been locked up for 15 years this year (2 in County and 12 in DOC) and he was fighting the majority of the time he has been in there. He has been stabbed (in his head) and he has done things to other inmates. Now that we are married and his only mission is to come home, he's allowed his softer side to come out and I worry that the inmates that once feared him will now catch him vunerable and hurt him.
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:39 AM
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My biggest fear is he will reoffend, not that he loves prison, he hates it with all his heart and soul, and swears he would rather be home with his family, and I believe him. But I know being an addict is a disease and its a battle he will have to deal with everyday. I know I have faith mostly that he will stay clean, but I am also preparing my heart and mind for the worst.
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:38 AM
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I would have to agree with some of the ladies above me, but on my end I am have thoughts of him not coming here when he gets out, i also have thoughts of him not adopting to being around the kids when he home.
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:54 AM
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my biggest fear is that his ex will try to come around. shes the reason hes in. and she tracked him down in court and was all "i love you i miss you...."blah blah....
im just afraid she will cause trouble again.
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