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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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Old 02-06-2006, 12:56 PM
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Default I opened the door and let him in again. What to do? SHE'S PREGNANT CONT...

Hello it’s me again, just wanted to update my calendar. LOOK BELOW. AND I WAS DOING SO GOOD FOR 3 DAYS… I am ashamed how this guy has so much control over me. Believe it or not, we used to have a cute relationship. He was so adorable. I felt loved at one time. I really did. Now shortly after he got out things changed because WE had a guard up. He admitted it is because of fear, he feels ashamed that without drugs I make more money than him. It give him a feeling of power. Together we tried to both wear the pants and we are not used to giving in. but lately I have been. I hate it but I do love him. The old him. Not like this. I don’t know him anymore. He has proven that he loves (or loved me) plenty times and its hard for me to accept that the chances of him changing or the situation changing are slim to none. I’m not making excuses but for him, I’m not blinded. I see that this is wrong for me and that I cant stay or put up with this for long if nothing changes. It’s so hard to know that we used to be cute together, I waited for almost 2 YEARS and to just let things go.. I know its wrong and please don’t judge me. I don’t know what on earth I’m doing. No I do. It’s just hard to get away when this guy gives the love I am used to then takes it away and comes back halfway. Then gives me the love I’m used to. I would be okay if he didn’t call Saturday. I really think I would. I want the old Eric. I’m trying hard to keep from crying and blowing up and going crazy. It seems like he may come back around. At the same time I just want to be held and cry and go crazy. Love is not filled with mind games and that’s what I’m doing. So ashamed. I just want something I can’t have I guess. You think? Well if I want to stay which I do if we can work things out, weird huh, what on earth I can do. If I want to leave, which I know is best, how on earth do I do that? I want to possibly change my cell phone number but I know hell som eventually come around, before the pain is gone. So if you were in my situation feeling what I’m feeling, knowing that there was a strong love, what exactly would you do, how would you do it? I’m tired of these roller coaster rides. I really am. I just don’t know what to do. I would really like to thank all of yall writing back. I don’t have a computer at home so it’s hard to respond. But all input is so appreciated.

February 2006 cont…
1 we didn’t call nor did talk NOTING stay home.
2 we didn’t call nor talk NOTING I went to the mall to keep busy.
3 we didn’t call nor talk NOTING. I have Verizon and have ring back tones. (When you call it plays a song instead of ringing) I had Maroon: she will be loved, on there because that is a song that Alfred dedicated to me. Everyone that calls though tells me its way too sad. When Eric calls thought he doesn’t hear that song. He hears: A woman’s worth by Alicia Keys. I had decided today to change it to something more upbeat for everyone. Just in case he called he would noticed it. I changed it to DADDY YANKEE, he hates Daddy Yankee, DON’T CHA by the pussy cat dolls, and TOUCHED by Amerie. Lyrics in case you didn’t know: “don’t be afraid to touch, I know that you think I’m a good girl.”
4 Its Saturday. And I’m off today from work. He called several times during the day.I actually was all pumped up to go out, but once I knew he called I had changed my mind. Still aint ready. Well he called later that evening and he left a message saying f you. Well I called him back and asked him calmly did you call me? (The call was private) he said no. he said but I have been calling you all day long. I was like oh. Okay just wanted to know. He stopped me from hanging up and asked how I was doing. That I sounded happy. I said well my day went well today……. I heard his daughter in the background and I was like oh is that alize! Tell her I said hi. He hesitated but did. She then wanted to talk to me and I told her hi, asked how she was doing in school ECT. Eric got back on the phone and I could hear that she started to cry. It was because she misses me. I was like oh I am so sorry, didn’t mean to do that!! ( I didn’t) and begged him to put her back on the phone. He was like; Elizabeth just let me know your okay, so that I could move on. I was like Eric I don’t want to talk about things, I want to make your daughter okay, and you know I can! He put her back on the phone. I told her that her daddy and I were friends, that if she ever saw me that she better tell me hi J and that everything was going to be fine. And just like I knew I could I made things right. Eric got back on the phone and was like Elizabeth I don’t want you to think I was just going to buy her a toy to shush her (that’s what he told her when she started to cry) and I told him Eric you are a great father, I didn’t think that, I wanted to make things right. He was like I know. I sounded cheery, happy and he sounded sad. Then I was like ill let you go, he didn’t want me too but I did. He said take care and I hung up. I felt okay.
5 He called at 5 in the morning. I couldn’t sleep so I answered. He gave me this I love and miss you script and I “fell” for it. He wanted to see me. So again I opened the door. He came in and we went to my room. He had said that he just wanted to hold me and he did. But then one thing led to another. He then started to look through my phone. I was like oh man if you can to sleep with me then fight let’s cut it short and you can leave. He started to ask questions on the new numbers on the phone. That lasted for about 5 minutes and I turned over and was like I’m going to sleep. He put my phone up and held me. he told me everything that I wanted to hear. Well in his little way. That he loved me and missed me and you know. Well he then fell asleep. I woke up hours later and took a shower and started to get dressed. He was still asleep and he woke up to me doing my hair. I knew what he was thinking…. “Where is she going?” Well he left and called to complain about new numbers on phone (someone was using my phone) and I didn’t want to hear it. He called later and said that we should have a long talk. I said about what, he said about us, I said is there an US, and he said there should be, I said you don’t have the time or patience. The way that I see it is that we are just “hanging out”. He tried to explain himself on trying to make money and his reasons and I was like, I don’t want to start something you can’t finish. (Meaning the conversation.) I told him I was hungry and asked him to bring me something to eat. He came over. He was being cute. And I was trying to keep my cool, being my silly little self. He called over and over through the day. But I’m hurt. My son came home later that night and he had some news, his daddy (my ex) is having a baby!!!!!!!!! Wow.
6 at work /haven’t heard from him. Yet…

Just in case you didn’t read my last post this is our history since he came home. Everything was okay 2 years behind, till shortly after his homecoming. I have made PRISON TALK MY DIARY…

September 2005
Days 1 -18I called to see if he is getting out. (A month before he got out I wrote him not to come to me when he got out because I knew that I was going to get hurt. I guess in a way I did and in a way I didn’t) 19 Eric got out! He got flowers sent to my work. He came to my house and I just stood there waiting for him to hold me and he did. We went to Chukee Cheese with the kids. I cried in his arms when we got home that he was going to hurt me. He tried to make me feel better by telling me he wasn’t.
20 Took Will (my son) boxing and Minx (my niece) to CCD.CCD are like catholic classes just to let you know. I cried all night when the kids were in there classes and he just looked at me. He looked scared too. I know that he was. He ate lunch with me at work though earlier that day. We went to Sonics then went home.
21 I got off of work early because we had a hurricane warning. We went to his moms. We had an argument outside because he wants to sell. He mentioned it yesterday. He told me when he was locked up that he wouldn’t do that again. I kept telling him how I felt. I was really panicky because of the hurricane but he didn’t take it seriously. Went home and packed. He was so distant. We are so scared. I think that the letter I wrote that he received before he got out scared him. But we tried to shake it off and make it work. Made chili later that night and played chess. That was cute. Then we went to sleep.
22We went to Dallas because of Hurricane Rita /Will went to his Grandmas. It was a long drive. Took 12 to get and we didn’t fight. It usually takes 5 hours to get there. Cute dayJ
23 We had to sleep on the floor but we didn’t mind. We just chilled all day holding each other talking all day about everything. I LOVE MY BABY.
24 We went out to eat at the Macaroni Grill restaurant l. just us two. Then we went to see Four Brothers. We had a silly little argument. We are both scared I guess. Stupid! Went to mall and he thought I wasn’t holding him enough. I think back and I wasn’t and he wasn’t either. We were both waiting for the other to reach out; .that was a problem with us. (Insecurity, fear and jealousy.)
25Came home from Dallas. I took him to Chill’s then Home to sleep. I love him so much
262 Years/ We have been together for 2 years. He was locked up December 14 2003. We met September 26 2003. We were only together for 3 months or so before he got locked up. But I still waited. I waited a long time huh! I cleaned my room. We went to Verizon to get us a cell phone. He is going to sell. I gave him the okay. Stupid me! We had a deal though. If it was to create problems he would stop.
27 Long day at work. I took Minx (my niece) to CCD. (Church classes) /Took Will (my son) to swimming classes. I went with Eric while he was dealing with his friends. I checked Eric’s voicemail and there was a message from a girl. It said “hey baby call me back I love you” I was hot! I told him I never wanted to talk to him again. He proved to me (really) that it was a girl calling the wrong number. I felt dumb. He sold… he came home at 3:30 in the morning and woke me up. (By the way he is staying with me and I roommate with my sister.)
28 woke up late. I work at 6 in the morning. I decided not to go to work. We went to IHOP with Eric and my sister. My sister let us use her car and it broke down. My car doesn’t work. He got it fixed. Then he left that night to sell. He called me at 4am to pick him up because he got stranded. His “friends” just dropped him off in the middle of nowhere.
29Watched Hitch by myself. He told me later that he was going to watch it with me but I got stubborn and put it on without waiting. So he didn’t watch it. We really need to break this wall between us.
30Eric was gone most of the day. He calls me throughout the day like always though. Its like every hour to tell me he loves me. Then he called and wanted to come over but I said no. I was mad at the fact I stayed home alone.

October 2005
1 I went to garage sales alone. Then went to the library and wrote to PRISON TALK it’s listed as krystal2003. Nope that’s not my name .look it up. We made up. Wow did we make up. Then later that night we went out. Drank. Went to club and then strip club. I had always wanted to go to one. Went home it was fun.
2 woke up at 12:00. Then went back to sleep. He left to sell. Came back and woke me up with some food!! Washed Clothes/ cleaned up room. He told me today that he wanted to stop. He hated selling. I was so happy!
3Eric started to work today with his dad! He mows lawns. Didn’t take Will to boxing and I felt so bad but lately we take the kids everywhere and get home so tired. We ate dinner at his bothers house. He got a little silly cause again we not as lovable, waiting for the other to make a move. We’re just scared.
4 I was so sleepy today. Will had lots of homework. Eric sold.
5 Took will to swim classes. I was alone most of the day. He sold. Again calling me through out the day, he always does that.
6 Will had swim classes again. Eric left again to sell. Thing is he got pulled over for speeding and called me at 3 am to pick him up. I broke up with him and told him that I wouldn’t want to see him get locked up again. I dropped him off at his friend’s house. He was mad. I went home and went to sleep. He called and called that night.
7I went to him moms to drop off his stuff. He took me into his nephew’s room and he cried and said that he was sorry and wouldn’t let me go. We made up and then he asked to rent him a car for us. (I don’t have a car either, it’s broke) he his sorry was genuine and I forgave. We got back together. We picked up his daughter.
8We had his daughter Alize during the day. I cleaned house. He left for a little while and then he took to the kids by himself to get them some ice cream.
Night time we went to strip club and to a bar. Went home and loved each other. He is so cute. He loves me. I can actually feel itJ
9we went to Corpus Christi. We took kids to the Aquarium. Then we went to eat at Black Beards. Found out later this week that he was on something the entire time (pills). Hurt cause it was supposed to be a family thing
10 went to work as usual. Eric chilled at his moms. He had slept there last night. He said that he went to sleep.
11 I looked up his account online. He was on the phone the night he slept at his moms (1 minute calls) and called him on it. He was selling obviously but he said that he went to sleep. Broke up and got back together. Took will swimming classes. He is getting better!! I’m so proud of my baby!
12 Eric and his friends were at auto zone fixing my car. He spent a lot of cash
13 wow my car works then broke down again.
14 rented car. We went to Johnny Corrinos to eat. Shared plate. Cute day.
15Eric broke up with me because I was on the phone and I told my sister on the phone something about another guy. She was the one taking about him. I threw my cell phone against the wall. But we got back together.
I told him never to leave me because I would let him go. He said that he understood that.
16 I cleaned house and bought groceries
17 returned car
18We took the kids to Chukee Cheese. I noticed that when he called his nephew to come with us he was like “oh alize is with us yeah!” and later that night I told him “what about Will, he was with us too not just your daughter.” It hurt because he used to say he was his stepson. It was like he ignored him. DID I TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY?
19 One Month since he has been out.
21 Will went to swimming classes and Eric actually went with me. He didn’t go with me all other times.
22 I went to the mall, got my hair cut. I got dressed up while Eric was selling. Will went to his dads like every weekend and I was waiting for Eric to ask me to go with him. He didn’t. So he came home told he me he had his last deal for the night at 12:00. He asked me to go to sleep with him. I laid down with him and knew what he was going to do. He was going to get me sleepy then leave for the night. When 12:00 came he got up and I said I was going to a friend’s house. Lie. And since I was still dressed I walked out the door. He called and told me to come back to my sisters so that he could get something from inside. We talked about things and he stayed the night with me because he didn’t want me to go anywhere. (Made long story short.)
23we went to the Hastings Bookstore and drank Coffee. It was cute. He got mad well jealous when I picked up a magazine cause it had Daddy Yankee on it. We had a little argument. Are they always so insecure? Well I have been too but I just don’t say anything
24 His selling is bringing me down. He finished up early this night. (But I was still sad) He came back before dark.
25 he is trying to cheer me up. I took will swimming. Eric was so cute and silly today. We were racing… me in the care him running! He came home early again.
26 Eric got another phone. Cause he needs more minutes. I put a love note in his pocket and he loved that I was showing my love. Cute day.
28 he came home at 3 am with breakfast.
29 We went to the strip club. We only have one and it’s shitty. No cute girls. There was one dancer I liked and when Eric told her playfully, she smiled and was missing a tooth! I had only one drink and started to feel sick so he took me home and went on with his selling.
30 had fun with Will dressing him up as a grim reaper.
31Halloween Went to the mall. Again I didn’t dress up this year. Eric was with me and we took Will trick or treating but I was tripping saying that he just couldn’t wait till it was over so that he could sell. He finally reassured me that that wasn’t it.
November 2005
1 I got day off from work and Eric stayed home with me. Cute.
3 my birthday. I called Eric during my lunch. I told him that I might go out for drinks tonight. He asked why. I said it’s my birthday! He said oh love I’m sorry. He gave me flowers and went to the movies. But damage was already done. He isn’t good with days but when locked up they never forget huh.
6 Our first real fight. Went to the bar and his friend named Ricco was with us. We were being so cute. Then his friend was at the end of the bar. Eric and I were in the middle. 5ft Away from his friend. There weren’t many people there. I wanted to sit down and chose the chair that was between him and his friend. He got jealous and said I wanted to sit next To Ricco. Ricco was at the end of the bar!! Ricco called him into the restroom and I was mad because he was so distant so I walked in the men’s room and I told him to take me home. I was like; I don’t want to fight, this whole thing is dumb the reason is Stupid”, I said that over and over. He then said “nah your &%$# stupid!” I was shocked! He took me home and when he called me I told him I didn’t want to be with him .He came back and I gave him all his stuff and I told him I was going to drop him off. We were driving the car for about an hour he asked me to take him to his moms. I got out of car to take out his stuff that was on the backseat and he left me there. To make a long story short, his mom had to take me home.
7talked it though and we got back together. Mistake, you think? Everything hurts.
17 fighting again / I forgot why. I hold grudges.
18 went to Frankie J concert. Then to the club with my sister afterwards. Eric didn’t know where I was. He kept calling and my phone was in the car. He was selling anyway. I guess I did it because of the last big fight we had. He leaves all the time, why can’t I type of thing.
19 Two months since he got out. Spent the day with Eric. I told him about last night and he didn’t say anything about it. He wasn’t mad.
20 My sister asked me if I wanted to go to Corpus. I was tired of Eric selling getting to do whatever he wants so I left. He didn’t call me till 7pm that day anyway. By that time I was with my sister’s friend, (An ex of mine by the way) named Alfred and we went out to eat. I went to the bathroom argued with Eric and lied, saying that it was just me and her. Then shut off my phone off because I had gotten scared. Came home like 11 pm. He had left many really ugly messages onmy phone. Really ugly. I thought it was over. He came to my window that night and he said that he wanted to forgive me. He stayed the night. We went to sleep like at 3 am.
23 had a picnic in the grass with the kids and acted like kids in the playground. Cute day…
24 ThanksgivingHe got mad cause I ate breakfast without calling him to the kitchen. I told him my home is your home so you can just go to the kitchen without me telling you. Made up. Just silly little fight, but I notice that we talk uglier than we ever did. It’s no longer “oh hush”, it’s “shut up” and you get it. Went to his moms then saw get rich or die trying.
26 Iwent to the mall to buy his daughter a birthday present. A polo sweater. He liked it a lot.
27 Alize’s Birthday we couldn’t pick her up.
28she came over to my house. We (I threw one just us and will my niece and sister.) threw a little party. He left for a minute to sell. I called him to get his @ss back home.
December 2005
6 (The days above that don’t have anything usually mean that the day was all right. Just watching movies or something like that.)This day started it all. The day we broke up. I was at work and I called Eric and told him to eat lunch with me. Everyone at work knew that I was going to subway so they asked me to bring them something. I said no cause I would be eating with my babe. I came out and Eric asked me what took me so long. I said oh people just wanted some food. One was a guy, and I didn’t think anything of it. He blew up and said oh now you doing favors for him! I was like hey its no big deal. He got defensive and so did I. I started asking about him, he has done favors too, I never said anything. Well when I went back inside he left a message that we couldn’t be together. Calling me names. I talked to him later that night and he kept on with the name-calling. His favorite: H**. I said oh well with the s**** you gave me last night I might as well be one. He called me names, just hitting it where it hurts. But then I said I might as well called Raul (wrong choice of name, very very wrong!) he was betterthan you. He freaked. I said it out of anger.
7He sent me a text message saying, “I hate you”
8I talked to him through out the day. He said that he was sorry. But me I kept on “I can’t believe you said this….”he kept trying to make things work but I ignored really that I mentioned Raul’s name and focused on the things he called me. I changed my number and I called him right afterwards. He freaked. He still loves me. I felt it.
9 BY THE WAY, IN THE MONTH OF NOV OR SO HE STOPED SELLING. HE STOPED FOR A WHILE AND IF THIS NEVER HAPPENED MAYBE HE WOULD HAVE NEVER STARTED AGAIN!!!!!!!! Today he told me he was going to sell. I asked him to stop and he said no. I said for me? And he said I can’t.” I’m in too deep now.” 10
12He came by the house. I don’t talk to him as much as I used too. Not even close. He came by and just stood there. I cried and cried. He said that with the DRUGS and people he is involved with he couldn’t break down. He used to cry to me. We used to cry together. I gave him all his stuff. All his letters that he gave me told him there lies. He wiped one tear and left. I thought if I gave him his stuff he’d realize this was a mistake.That was a mistake of mine because he threw it all away.
13 He helped me wash clothes. He was all over me, holding me. Telling me he loves me. I was like why were you so different just yesterday. (There I go again. He gives in and I give up. I give in then he gives up.) Kept on, holding back. He still sells. Won’t stop either. But I felt loved.
14 BY THE WAY MY CAR HAD BROKEN DOWN AND HE WAS PAYING FOR A USED WE GOT TOGETHER, TRADING IN MY CAR SO IIT WAS UNDER MY NAME. He still had that car. I demanded it back and he of course needed it to sell. Me on the other hand was getting rides and refusing his offers to give me rides. True he was paying for the car but AHHHHH. I called him and said that if he didn’t give me my car, I was reporting it stolen. I was mad. Hurt because he was so distant and I felt used. He called me to tell me that he dropped it off and for me to pick it up. I did.I saw that he left his house keys on the key chain.
15 He called and asked for me to drop off the keys. I met up with him and I got out of the car, held him and he said “man you scared me with the cops.” I told him I said it out of anger and explained how I felt. I really was going to go yesterday, but he didn’t need to know that. You could tell that we want to be with each other but we keep holding back. Or at least that is the vibe I get at that time. I was going to go out to corpus with my sister. We went to the clubs. He didn’t know about this I go to the club and dance the pain away. My friend Alfred drives us back home and he stays the night at my house. He is a complete gentleman don’t get me wrong. He is just a friend and nothing more. Eric of course doesn’t know that he came.
16 I slept all day. Eric hasn’t called.
17 Eric called today. He tells me that his daughter is crying for me. Of course I can’t let him know I have a guy at my house friend or not so don’t. I tell him, “What do you what me to do? Tell her things will be okay with us when there not?” I fought and I should have taken that chance. I went to corpus again to go to the club. I guess I was just trying to numb myself. All I thought of was Eric. I didn’tdisrespect him with anyone. I saw that he only called me once that night.
19 I was depressed. I called his parole officer as if he could do anything. I wanted all this to stop. I told him everything.
20 I called Eric today. He hardly calls me now. He has this attitude with me. I beg him to stop. But he hangs up every time. I just stayed in my car parked and cried and cried. He didn’t want to talk about things.
21 He calls me and I blow up. He calms me down and tells me,” I call you to talk like we use to, I don’t want to fight anymore and have you giving me demands.” We talked for a little bit. He talk about how things.
23 He called me. I don’t remember who did the calling but I think he was. He came over. I haven’t touched him in days. I’m losing it. We start to what I think at the time is making love but he treats me in a way a man treats a **. I cry and he stops, talks about how much he loves me then finishes and leaves, to finish selling for the rest of the day. I felt so upset. (He told me later that if was because all he could think about was me and Raul. Raul by the way is his enemy and we use to talk BEFORE me and Eric met. But Raul still caused problem like still calling me after me and Eric got together. That’s a long story but it was over 2 years ago.)
24 Christmas Eve: I text him a cute message late at night. He calls once but I don’t answer becaue I haven’t talked to him all day.
25 Christmas day: I check my voice mail in the morning and he had called drunk to tell me he loves me and Merry Christmas. In the morning he calls to talk mess. That I should have answered my phone last night because he wanted to work things out. I asked if the love was gone and he said no.
29 he called to come see me and I said no/ I ask him if he wants to spend new years with me in corpus. He said that he didn’t want to go to corpus. But not once did he tell me he wanted to spend it with me. It’s like he was waiting for me to say something. But I was waiting for him.
30 he comes over and we make love.
31New Year’s Eve. He comes over and tells me not to go. I tell him I have already made plans. He said okay but to answer my calls. I went out and missed his calls because I was at the club. I called said that I was sorry but he was mad. Real mad. I tried to explain myself and he thought was being sneaky. He called later in the morning and saidthat he couldn’t wait till I get home to spend time with me.

January 2006

1 still out of town. He called me all morning over and over to make sure I guess I wasn’t with anyone. I came home like at 10:00pm he didn’t like that I came back at night. He wanted me to spend the night with him and I did. We really made love that night. He held me and was the way it used to be.
2 I went to work. He picked me up later that night and took me to his moms. He looked like something was bothering him. We made love, I guess, and then he took me home. Saying that he wanted to quit and he was real soon but had some things to take care of. I believed him.
3 We just talked a couple of times. He told me he loves me and all that good stuff.
4 My car got reposed. I called his voicemail and there was a girl name Amanda on a message. I called him and cussed him out and he was like man that’s nothing, she is my cousin! The fact that he didn’t try to comfort me made me so mad. So I told him never to call me again.
5 He didn’t call at all.
6 He called private. He is the only one that does. Then later that night. I didn’t answer them.
7 Me and my sister went out to some comedy show. Drank a little then came home and called him and cried and cried. He said that he was busy. He acted like he was to busy for me.
8 I called and begged and tried to talk to him and he got mad cause he almost wrecked. I let him go that day. I thought it was too much pain already.
9 though 12 He called and called and I didn’t answer any calls. I felt proud of myself. He wouldn’t quit calling me but I was actually okay. I think. Maybe cause he was calling but I don’t know I was tired of it but then…
13 He calls in the morning and I miss his call. His ringer tone is actually silent. Then he leaves a text message on my phone reading “**** you” I call him back and tell him that I don’t like him doing that. He says in a sad voice but I miss you and that’s the only way you will call me back. He knows me well. He later text me again while I’m at work that he loves me. I get suck in all over again. We talk like the way ive wanted for a long time.
15 His attitude is back again. I hate it. He asked me out to eat and I tell him that I just got out of the shower so it would be in a little while. Then he is like ill just go by myself… but in a rude way. I say no. He tells me later that a friend, Ricco, told him all these things about me that was not true. I was like you believe what you want to but if you can’t talk to me right and work things out then tell me. He said no He couldn’t. I hung up and go to the mall and he calls me over and over. I answer and yell to quit calling, and finally I let him speak. He tells me he misses me so much and that he is sorry about holding back that he is just scared that I’m the only girl he want and to just dropeverything and go to him. To lets just be together and hold each other. He begged me. I tell him. Eric don’t play with me. And he said im not. He calls a cab for me to go to his room. While in the cab I get a text message reading “don’t call me – just got back with my ex” he sent it to the wrong girl. I was devastated, I knew all along that there was someone else, men are men but when I went to the room I cried and yelled and he told he was sorry. That it was just a girl he met the other night and he just wanted to stop anything before it created any problems. He cried. And he begged and cried like the “old Eric I fell in love with” so I gave in. I believed him. We made love. I looked through his phone later that night and saw that there was a message that he didn’t send to a girl named Kelly. Different than the name that he told me. I knew he lied. I hit him and yelled and walked out and told him that I could never trust him. I walked out and called the cab to pick me up. He was shocked. Tried to stop me. I went home and he called and said that he was sorry. I asked did you sleep with her. And he said yes. I went nuts. I asked a lot of questions and he answered them. He said that he wanted to tell me something else. He hesitated a lot butthen told me she was pregnant. I was so mad. So so mad. He was like I know now we can’t be together. I was like why Eric did you call me to go over! WHY!!!!! Why have you lead me on!!!! And he said because I can’t let you go. Iwanted to make things right and and tell you months from now. Now we can’t be together and I sorry. I never meant to hurt you. She was a waitress (just started) at the strip club we went to. I was like gross and he defended her. He talked in a way that he just knew that it would never work out. I wanted to be begged and out of anger I said oh well I kissed someone while you were locked up. He cried but then told me now I don’t feel so bad. And let me go. I hated him because he didn’t beg. I hated him for not hating him enough. I couldn’t sleep that night.
16 my nieces birthday today. Eric didn’t call me today. I called and he wouldn’t answer. So I text him. I told him how he could leave me to deal with this alone. That we were in love. That I waited. That I hate him and love him. That he doesn’t love me. I went little nuts. Normal right. Well he called and was nice. He was not mean it was just like im sorry. He told me that he loves me and he was mad that I said I was with someone else. I told him I lied so that he would feel the same pain I felt. He said that he would call me later. I called the strip club and talked to Kelly. I was like, I don’t know why im calling I just wanted to hear the truth I guess. She was like yeah it’s true. She didn’t know that he was still keeping in touch with me. We don’t have kids together or anything. I talked to her for a little bit. When he let me go he had called her and told her (this is what she told me) that I called and wanted to work things out. He called later that night saying that he just wanted to sleep that he loved me and he would call me tomorrow.
17 I went to work; he called me during my lunch and told me that he wanted to be with me. He wanted to work things out with me. I was a little quiet and didn’t say much. I called her again today. She told me a lot. About how they met on the 6th. That they didn’t sleep together right away. That he tells her he loves her. That they were together on new years. That she was asked to stay with him new year’s day too. I was so upset. She told me a lot about there month and a half and most of it fit. But I wasn’t going to believe anyone much anymore. I know there were things that were lies. He called me while I was on the phone with her. He called a different phone. So I let her hear him telling me that he wanted to be with me. I hung up with him and she said that he tells her the same things. He called me; he knew that I talked to her. He doesn’t like that very much. The reason I don’t believe much of what she says is because she was telling him I was saying all of these things didn’t. He said that he was going to see her later to end it all. I was like why see her. And he said because it was the right thing to do. He left and I waited by the phone. I text him then, “ill make it easier for you”. He called but I didn’t answer. I was asleep.
18 I text him again it was nice though. I was like hey if we are meant to be then things would be type of thing. And I asked him not to call me anymore. He called and said that he loved me. He said he never got the text. When I got off of work he called and came. He gave me a hug and we stood there outside the care while I waited for my ride. He asked if I wanted to go with him and I said no. he said the he talked to Kelly yesterday and that he told her he didn’t want to talk to her again. Not until the baby is born and he will take care of that. My mom came and that was that. I went home and called Kelly. First things she said were, yall are together right? He did tell her. We talked for a little bit and she said that she was backing off. Eric called me and we talked he told me that he loved her company, he didn’t love her. I was in tears like oh I was replaced. I could never touch anyone. he was like baby you could never be replaced. He was like hey things will be okay. He told me how she isn’t a bad girl but it wasn’t me. It was like every time they were together and they wouldn’t fight, he would wonder why we couldn’t be like that. And a lot more. But I was like oh Eric we didn’t fight when we met. You can’t just ran away and do stupid things when things get rough. He came over. He was distant. He told me I can’t kiss you because we are not together. I was like Eric why do you act like you don’t know me. I didn’t beg but he saw it and how bad I needed him to be there. He left and I text him yet again another goodbye. That I loved him and was in love with him but he is no longer with me. So bye I wish you the best. I called my friend Alfred from corpus. And he was trying so hard to cheer me up. Then Eric calls me and I hang up on Alfred because Eric is outside. I go outside and he hugs me and tells me that he is in love. And he kisses me. He sucks me back in.
19 talked through my entire lunch. It was weird. We were trying to be cute, a lot of things need to be said but of course they weren’t. He still sells. He says he will stop soon. I don’t believe that. After work he comes to my house and “cooks” I stare at him like what on earth amI doing. I can’t love him. He finishes up then hugs me on the couch and “tries” I get mad and tell him why cant you understand why I cant. All I could think of was “them”. He said it was okay and left. I hate him. I really did that night. But I couldn’t sleep and called him over and over in the am. He didn’t answer any calls. So I went nuts…. Read on…
20 i walked out of my job, said I was sick. I went to the hospital. Made up this story and called him while I was there told him that I didn’t know what happened the night before but that I was scared. Well not getting into the details on what I told him but I was at the hospital all day long waiting around. He called over and over and I felt like I made him feel like **** and I liked it in away. In case you didn’t read my other post. I told him I found I had a miscarriage. I wasn’t even pregnant. I literally made my self sick though. I was weak and well to tell you the truth I couldn’t eat and lost a lot of weight since I found out on the 15th. I called him and told him what hospital I was in. he was like da** why, and im sorries. He then told me that he had to go out of town. I freaked out. I was like you don’t care!!!!! And he was like I do but my life depends on this. I walked to my moms a few blocks away and called him again. I told him again to stay away from me. He called me back and said that he loved me and that he was sorry that he doesn’t want to lose me. He wants me to wait. I hung up and fell asleep. Im so thin,
21 he called twice and left a message on voicemail. I didn’t answer my phone. He said he just wanted to make sure I was okay. I text him that I was and I started eating again. I did. But felt stupid for telling him that.
22 he didn’t call at all.
23 he didn’t call again. I called his mom and told her my side of the story. I cried to her. I used to hate her now It’s like I get info from her. Ugh. I called him later that night and asked if I could see him. He said yes. He said that he would call me in a little while and he called 3 hours later then 2 hours later. I didn’t answer my phone. ( I found out later this week that he took a shower and had this thing planned for us. Bull. That doesn’t take hours. But it’s the story he gave me. )
24 he called over and over. Left a message on is saying that he knows I told him mom things. I talked to his mom and she said that she never said anything about me. She just asked if he was selling. I do believe her.
25 he called and called, left message on voice mail saying he couldn’t believe I wasn’t answering his calls. That he was only going to call me one more time. I called him back and was like quit calling me already. I’m tried of all this. You are no true friend .all in a calm way. I told him not to call me ever again. I felt like I was on top.
26 he called in the morning. At 5am. After I got out of shower. I talked all cool like I was okay with things that I will get over it and all that. He then told me to go to my room. He was at my window and he could peak inside. I was in a towel and was like okay ill show him what he is missing. Well not strong enough hahaha should have known.. I was there in a towel acting like I was looking in my closet. He asked me to open the door. I did. He jut held me. We talked on the couch, then I went nuts. he let me go crazy and slap him and things like that and then2 hours well I left with him didn’t go to work and he held me. I didn’t sleep with him though. He didn’t try very much. He just really wanted to hold me. i feel asleep in his arms and woke up TAKE ME HOME! He did and I was like crying cause I didn’t want to go. He then went to my room and we feel asleep again. Later that night I was told by a girl I cant trust that she was told (by a girl that hates me) that he asked her for her number last night. (before he came to my house) I called him and asked him and he said that he was at the club saw the girl there and she came up to him. But he rejected her. He was like believe what you want to believe. I told him Eric you have done the worst you can do already, hearing this new story is not the part that hurts. The part that hurts is that you are not trying to fight for my trust. I hung up. He called and said that he was sorry but that what I heard was not true.
27 he called through out the day. Like he use to. He still sells. Sells pretty big. He said that he might be able to stop it all tonight. For the night of course so that we could just hold each other. he called at 3 am. I was mad. He was drunk and he came over. I gave him the okay and said that he could just lay on the couch. He was on drugs and he had been drinking and it was so different from the morning before. He tried I stopped him. He then started calling people from my phone. Looking through my pics. And he saw one that was taken when we were together. One of me, Alfred and my sister. He through my phone in the kitchen and went outside. Things got crazy he pushed me against the door with his hands around my neck. I slapped him. Yelled and I wasn’t afraid, I called the cops but in the end I left with him again. Made long story short. And heard the same “im sorries”. I went home like around 2 or so. I needed to clean the house because the next day I was throwing a birthday party for my son. He came later that night and dropped off some stuff for me to hold. Don’t judge me. I missed a couple of calls to have him go nuts then went to sleep.
28 I called him in the morning. We talked. He asked me if i was messing with his phone. I was and don’t know what I had done to Kelly’s number. Her name still comes up on the phone but it’s listed as a private number. You can still call but the number doesn’t come up. He was like don’t mess with my phone. I was like it shouldn’t matter, you can still call her! We hung up. I left to shop all morning threw a party and wow that was fun. Crazy but fun! He came over later that night to pick up his “stuff” and he was distant. I talked to him through out the day but we are not together. We have changed so much.
29 my little Will’s birthday is today. He turns 7. J His dad picked him up today. Throwing a party for him over there in another town. I was alone all day. I turned off my phone. Got dressed cute and cleaned house. He came over like at 3pm, when he woke up in the afternoon and came to my house. Wondering what happened to my phone. I was like oh I turned it off. He seemed like now I was sucking him in. I felt on top. He left told me to turn it back on. He came later that night and was like what happened! I was like “oh I lost it.” He stayed for a while. I sucked him in. he was the sad puppy. I acted like nothing was wrong. I didn’t blow up at all. He left. He called all night ( I checked messages) and all morning.
30 when I got off of work I went to the library. He left all these cute messages. I went to my mom’s house and he had been calling there to reach me. He was soooo cute. I had my Eric back. In a strange way. I called my friend and we talked, she is not someone I can trust. She told me that he was at the club with another girl the past Friday. I was heartbroken. I was like girl are you lying? And she said does that matter look at yourself. So I called and told him I was never turning back. He begged. And I was like NO YOUR ACTIONS CONFLICT WITH YOUR WORDS AND I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I felt like I was on top again.
31 my phone got disconnected. I panicked cause I like knowing that he is calling my “lost” phone. So I paid to put it back on. I waited hours. He didn’t call. So I like a fool started calling him PRIVATE and not saying anything. I know dumb move. I called over and over. Then he said” okay punk you got your phone back on, I get it. Ive was trying to reach you… I know it got disconnected. ” He knew it was me. I freaked. I called my friend and told her oh my if he calls me. You have to call him private while im on the phone with him so that he wont think its me. He called like an hour later and I acted like nothing was wrong. My friend called him private. I don’t know if that worked. But then we talked and I was like I can’t wait till I get a car and he said, to see Raul? I was like “don’t you think you got me back for that Eric, I hate to fight with you.” And conversation went sour. He is manipulative. Telling me my story was bull and a guy probably told me. I for some reason end up telling him who told me and well it ended like that. “This isn’t going to work” and he hung up. Called me back and talked some more crap, I guess he called me because I didn’t call him after he hung up. He was with his friends and well they have a huge part of it. So do the drugs and alcohol. He hung up again. I cried to my friend Jen and then it was time to go to bed. Before I went to bed I called him private over again. He was saying to “quit, do you like my voice.” You could hear his friends answering but then one time he answered he said” WHY DON’T YOU SAY ANYTHING? YOU SHY, YOU LIKE ME, CONFRONT ME MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING.” I called again, pressed mute. He says hello a girl on the back ground yells out” ITS PROBABLY ELIZABETH!” I call again the girl answers and she said “STOP CALLING HIM HE HAS SOMEONE WHO LOOKS BETTER **** BETTER…….so on.” there is no way that’s true. I really don’t think this was his girl but it hurt. I called again… SHE ANSWERS THE PHONE AND MOANS AND YELLS OUT ERICS NAME. I call a couple more times till they start ignoring my calls (so that he won’t think I stopped just because of that) and went to sleep. Im really tired of painting this fantasy and making excuses for this boy. Now I just want to stop the pain.

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Old 02-06-2006, 06:10 PM
JJsPenPal JJsPenPal is offline

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woman! you need to STOP writing about this guy before you go crazy. let him go. he's having a baby with another female. you deserve so much better. if you can't do this alone, get some therapy with a female therapist who specializes in love addiction and emotional and physical abuse. sorry.

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Old 02-06-2006, 07:42 PM
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nimuay nimuay is offline
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Absolutely, JJs!
You'll know you've created God in your own image when He hates all the people you do.
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Old 02-06-2006, 07:44 PM
RAG4LIFE RAG4LIFE is offline
Considers the source...

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This is really hard to read!!
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Old 02-08-2006, 09:02 PM
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I think that all of this is interesting. It just sound like you are a woman in love. I enjoyed reading it. So keep it coming.

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Old 02-09-2006, 01:37 PM
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Last edited by rick; 02-09-2006 at 01:40 PM..
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:07 PM
Jillian Jillian is offline
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If he continously put you thru drama why are you stressing over him.. i think you need to move on.. and i second rick.. wow
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:18 PM
Krys Krys is offline
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:19 PM
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California Sunshine California Sunshine is offline
Yes I'm back! :)
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I have been there,done that with a back and forth relationship and let me tell you honey it is NOT healthy most of all for you

You need to let him go and move on.I know it is hard trust me how I know but in the long run if this keeps up the only person getting hurt is YOU and you need to look out for YOU

Get well soon David! You are in our thoughts
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Old 02-12-2006, 01:42 PM
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StacysWar030 StacysWar030 is offline
Round 2

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Oh the things love makes us do Man, I think I've done ALL these things a time or 2. Soon, if you make yourself, you will let go. First you have to find the strength from your tiptoes & not call him anymore & NOT take his calls. I know how tough it is. Coming here and letting it out is actually a good thing.

((((HUGS)))) Heartbreaks are the worst

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Old 02-12-2006, 03:51 PM
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Wow that is too much drama..while we all can give advice ..Do know that love makes a fool out of us ALL..But it do seem yoy claim alot against your relationship(you know he is going to hurt you0..If you are aware of this why are you hanging on to him..come on ..U deserve better dont you think? If not one else will..Also dont look for him to validate you..You are a woman.You are speacial..Know this in your mind as well as in youir heart but mean it when you sayit..the best of luck.
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Old 07-09-2006, 03:31 PM
Marissa7 Marissa7 is offline
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Wow thats cool you did this, enjoyed reading it.
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Old 07-09-2006, 08:54 PM
haswtch haswtch is offline
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Old thread. Wonder what's up now, if you're still around? Dayum, is right. Whew.
"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."- Voltaire -
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Old 07-09-2006, 09:01 PM
starting over starting over is offline
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i scanned it quick and think I saw drugs, strip club and baby a few times, never a good thing.
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Old 07-10-2006, 02:01 AM
Freebird08 Freebird08 is offline

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I read the last updated posting (made in May) and not only is mistakes pregnant, but "her man" (subjective, as he's faithful to no one) has been sent back to jail...hopefuly the drama has ceased and mistakes can live HER OWN life, not living FOR the loser.
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:27 AM
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ToughTimes ToughTimes is offline
Praying for FOREVER!

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Holy Crap. I'd love to say more, but I HAVE to keep my mouth shut here. They say if you can't say anything nice, then don't say it at all. So .... LIPS ARE ZIPPED.
He's HOME!! July 18, 2006
...And life goes on
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Old 07-13-2006, 06:24 PM
chrsyfrl chrsyfrl is offline
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These kinds of stories never have happy endings. Move on, baby!
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Old 07-26-2006, 09:17 PM
rezimota183 rezimota183 is offline

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Loving a man is good, but you have to love your self just a little more have a better life for you and your children. Also, you teach your children by your actions. You teach your daughters what to expect in a relationship and teach your sons how to treat women. Think about it. If not for yourself, do something for your children.
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:26 PM
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karen karen is offline
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Drugs, alcohol, selling... it is a dysfunctional mix. Move on sweetie!
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Old 07-30-2006, 11:16 AM
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mizz_jp mizz_jp is offline
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Damn! u gotta go with what's in your heart. think about the long run.
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Old 08-14-2006, 02:00 PM
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you live and learn thats life and that is what makes one grow. im learning from my mistakes.
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Old 08-27-2006, 10:06 AM
MrJustice MrJustice is offline
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What happened to the progress the women's lib movement made in the 60's. What happened to women demanding to be treated as equal? Dammit girl, wake up! You know in the early 50's my mother had no choice. Back then she and her kids belonged to that low life she was married to and there were no social agencies she could turn to for help. But today, that is no longer the case. You are your own woman now. You no longer belong to this man. I saw the work "drugs" and it was like a neon light blinding me with its intensity. Don't let it blind you. You want Eric back. It ain't gonna happen. Eric is gone beplaced by this drug addicted monster who is your torment. In the words of that great philosopher, Montel Williams (lol):- "KICK HIM TO THE CURB BABY. KICK HIM TO THE CURB"!!!!. Stop this nonsense. You're killing yourself by in pches. Drop the loser and get on with your life. You deserve better and, in the future, when you get involved with another man, demand respect from the get go. If it is not there, end it. Love? B.S. girlfriend. This ain't love. This is control pure and simple!!!! My ancestors were slaves but thank God that ended in 1865. Don't let him enslave you. You got a dream girlfriend. TAKE IT! Peace, love and a whole lot of prayers from your friends in Canada.
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Old 09-06-2006, 05:03 PM
mindy-j mindy-j is offline
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You deserve better. This is not love.
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Old 11-28-2006, 10:36 PM
tami2303 tami2303 is offline
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You need areal man and not a little boy
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Old 08-14-2007, 03:18 PM
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wishing you the best and praying for you. let go and let GOD
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