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Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

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Old 12-28-2019, 06:12 PM
Shaun9981 Shaun9981 is offline
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Default Nobody means what they say!

After coming home from 11 years, I find that people don't really think about what they say or do, they just do it, then they are surprised when things go haywire. I am having a difficult time adjusting to this. Has this affected any of you?
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Old 12-28-2019, 06:47 PM
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Welcome to the new way of life. I personally don't like it myself but it seems like the in thing at the moment. I prefer honestly, loyalty and do what you promise or mean.
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Old 12-28-2019, 06:48 PM
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I'm not surprised at all that you've noticed that people don't really think about what they say or do, they just do it, then they are surprised when things go haywire.

Seems we live in an age of expectations without appreciation, instant-gratification, and the "who, me? Its only wrong if YOU do it!" syndrome. I also belief that these symptoms-of-something-deeper affect a mostly specific age group....but I'll not name that group for the sake of civility. Maybe these things are magnified for you after doing 11 years, I don't really know. I do know I'm glad you're here

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Old 12-28-2019, 06:57 PM
Kimimi Kimimi is offline
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I saw my boyfriend struggle with this and still does sometimes after 2 years. He said out here no one is loyal, no ones word is worth much, disrespect happens because everyone gets away with it. He would get exhausted or anxious in crowds and a lot of other things. He did well with some counseling sessions and understanding. You are not alone at all many getting out feel this way. My boyfriend has a job now where a lot of his clients are men getting out of prison and they go through similar experiences.
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Old 12-28-2019, 07:22 PM
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That's modern society for you, we live in an age of everyone wanting their rights but not wanting to take any responsibility. Its the age of I want it and I want it now, but not prepared to work for it. Its the age of celebrity and fame being the aspirations of many. Its the age of demanding loyalty and honesty but not always being prepared to give it. You cant change other peoples behaviour just your own.
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
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Old 12-28-2019, 08:02 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is online now
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Impulse control is lacking. Immediate gratification as was stated earlier. Do now and not think about the consequences later. It's all in the moment.

I find it is easier to sit back and watch the chaos unfold. Not my circus not my monkeys

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Old 12-29-2019, 04:01 AM
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11 years, huh? You've been gone for awhile. They say that when a person stays gone for more than 2 years, the adjustment phase takes longer and it's more complicated when you get out. Why that is, I don't know. A prison guard at the Eastham unit here in Texas is the person who actually made that comment about the "when you're gone more than 2 years" issue. He said that back around 1990 and I think he's right about that, too.
Yes, the ways of people on this side of the fence are considerably different in areas both great and small. You notice things after having done several years in prison that before the incarceration were just a blur. One of the things that stands out about what you're referring to concerning people who say one thing and then do another......that's the difference between having choices in the Free World as someone who is free in comparison to someone incarcerated who simply does what they're told to do. We have choices in prison, but for the most part, they're cut and dried matters where we have little control as to what happens or what the outcome is. The freedom to choose, the freedom to change one's mind, the freedom to be spontaneous.....those are some of the precious gems we lose when go to prison or go back there again.
We're All In This Together
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