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  #1  
Old 06-16-2013, 10:01 PM
laydeegonzales laydeegonzales is offline
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Default I had to tell him that his father is dying / UPDATED

yesterday I had my monthly visit with my fiancé and had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do to... I had to tell him that his father is dying and that there was no hope at all for him... I mean telling him that friends have passed away is different... but having to see the look and pain in his eyes from me having to break his heart like that was the worse feeling ever... knowing that there is nothing I can do but keep him updated with his condition becuz his family wont even write him and tell him... a few weeks ago his sister writes me on facebook to tell me to tell her brother that his great grandfather died and that his son got locked up for drugs.... smh...

if you ever had to do this, how did it make you feel?

if you never have done this and had to, how would you do it??
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  #2  
Old 06-16-2013, 10:14 PM
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My Husband Dad has Cancer and that would the hardest thing to do. He has stage 4 Cancer and he is going to pass while my Husband is in the inside. It hurt like hell there relationship between them has been rocky so they my never get the chance to fix it. At most I feel helpless and sad that our future children will never meet him
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:20 PM
Babyslittlemama Babyslittlemama is offline
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Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Damn! I've been in that situation way more than I've ever wanted! And on one occasion it was a life changer for me; and my family calls me cold. I think your fiance' is blessed to have you!
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:22 PM
laydeegonzales laydeegonzales is offline
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like I said its the hardest thing I have ever had to tell him... things between my fiancé and his dad are not good... but that's still his father and he loves him very much.... and you can just see the hurt in his eyes and when he put his head down the tears he was trying to hold back just rolled down his cheek... his father had a infection in his mouth but it moved to his heart thru his blood stream and they have tried everything to fight the infection off and nothing has workd and his organs are slowly shuttin down on him....
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:36 PM
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First I am sorry about what your are dealing with. I had to tell me husband about his father being in the hospital and I went back and forth with myself thinking if I should tell him. I had to in case it got worse and it is he had cancer and it is spreading and also he had pneumonia and a seizure we know it is getting closer. Like everyone else that has posted him and his father are alright but things need to be said. All we can do is be there and hold them up and let them know we are there.
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Old 06-17-2013, 07:32 AM
thatwiz thatwiz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjnjclyn View Post
First I am sorry about what your are dealing with. I had to tell me husband about his father being in the hospital and I went back and forth with myself thinking if I should tell him. I had to in case it got worse and it is he had cancer and it is spreading and also he had pneumonia and a seizure we know it is getting closer. Like everyone else that has posted him and his father are alright but things need to be said. All we can do is be there and hold them up and let them know we are there.
If someone is in the hospital, then phone calls should be arranged so that they can talk. There should be no back in forth with telling someone that their parent is dying. If you didn't tell me, I would never trust you again with anything, it's not a game and the person in prison is grown and needs to then make their own decision about writing the ill person and having someone on the outside set up calls. It's not the easiest to do the calls, but it can be done. All that should be done immediately with no delay.
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laydeegonzales View Post
yesterday I had my monthly visit with my fiancé and had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do to... I had to tell him that his father is dying and that there was no hope at all for him... I mean telling him that friends have passed away is different... but having to see the look and pain in his eyes from me having to break his heart like that was the worse feeling ever... knowing that there is nothing I can do but keep him updated with his condition becuz his family wont even write him and tell him... a few weeks ago his sister writes me on facebook to tell me to tell her brother that his great grandfather died and that his son got locked up for drugs.... smh...

if you ever had to do this, how did it make you feel?

if you never have done this and had to, how would you do it??
I've never had to this, and I hope I never have too. I would try to be there for him, but you know there is only so much you can possibly do. And it would be very difficult to make him feel better in this situation. I would try my best to relate to the question and be understanding. this would clearly be a very difficult time, and even harder if you had to deliver the news.
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Old 06-17-2013, 06:21 PM
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i had to tell an ex bf that his aunt had died, over the phone. id never done anything more difficult in my life at the time. his father apparently thought it was best coming from me, given our relationship and i wished i hadnt had to do it.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:47 PM
laydeegonzales laydeegonzales is offline
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Default The worst has happend!!

i posted yesterday about my fiances father on the verge of dying and today he passed away... I wish i could be there with him right now... I already called the prison he is at and they said he would be allowed one phone sometime today or tommorow.... He will either call me or his sister.... Plz keep our family in your prayers especially him.... Thanks ptf!!!
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:48 PM
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I'm so sorry that you had to tell your man about his dad. I would have no clue how I would do it if I was ever in that situation.

My man's grandma is getting up there in age and keeps telling him if he goes to prison she will probably die while he is in there and I really hope that never happens. His grandpa died 2 years ago while he was locked up and I imagine it was horrible for him (I wasn't around then).

I have had to tell him that his brother was in the mental health center and it just broke his heart. He has been in and out for months and just can't seem to get better. He is severely bipolar. It breaks his heart having to hear about his brother since they are very close.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:51 PM
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I just got done replying to your other thread. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you and your man in my thoughts
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:51 PM
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Im so sorry for his loss. I loss my mom last year and that was the hardest thing i've ever been through so i know that pain of losing a parent. You guys are in my prayers. My heart go out to him and the family.
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  #13  
Old 06-17-2013, 08:57 PM
laydeegonzales laydeegonzales is offline
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thank you very much... its crazy how fast all this happened...
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  #14  
Old 06-17-2013, 09:42 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family in your time of grief
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:34 PM
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Prayers going out to the Family and above all your LO.... He's Blessed to have you by his side thru this difficult time....
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