Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > BREAK TIME > PTO Lounge
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

PTO Lounge Come in... put your feet up and relax... talk about anything non-prison related! Hobbies, Books, Technical and Do it Yourself, Travel and more.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-12-2015, 12:59 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Relationship question....he won't put label on relationship

I reccently met a guy through my sister, he is her fiances nephew and he's 40. He just moved back to the city that I live in after being away for 12 years. While he was there he was with a women for 10 years. They just ended there relationship, they don't seem to be sad about it or anything and they still talk. Her dad never liked this guy and now that she's not with him, her dad bought her a house. He said it was a mural break up and the relationship was over 5 years ago, they just both stayed.

we met and hit it off, we have a lot in common and have a great time together, we watch movies, do dinners, and just have a great time. My sister let me know that he wasn't looking for anything serious. The message I got from him was that things were going really well. I'm not sure if it was because he was getting more comfy being back out here or not but he started going out more and more with his friends. They aren't the best people to be around, they all do drugs and one is married with girlfriends on the side. One night he was out with them and a women started hitting on him, she was married. He said no and went home, he texted me about it and we talked about it the following day. I was glad he told me.

He told me that he couldn't put a tile on us and couldn't gaurentee anything with me, he said he couldn't gaurentee that if he was out with his friends and there were ladies there that he wouldn't hook up with them, and that when he is with someone he is very loyal. The reason he didn't hook up with that married one was because she was married to a guy he knows. I was upset because I thought things were going great. I realize he just got out of a relationship tho, and didn't mind just dating him. To me he had the qualities I was looking for. He now tho barley gives me the time of day, he goes out and party's with these friends during the week and on weekends, he is seeing 4 ladies, one who he has known for 23 years and is in his group of friends so they spend a lot of time together, but from what I gather its drunk and drugs. He says he is barley home or little sleep because of all the partying, he still hasn't found a job. He says he goes slow with me because we are going to know each other for a long time. I just want to know are these quality relationships he's forming or is it just drunken hook ups.
I'm a good women and don't want to be grouped into this stuff, he isn't the guy I met. I don't get what is happening. My sister told me a few months ago when he was down here visiting he would leave there house at 12 or 1am. But he was still in a relationship, I heard him on the phone over the weekend asking his friend if he should bring drugs out with him. I'm thinking grow up...I don't hear from him much now, and I don't know why I'm jealous of the other lady. Are they doing the things we did or is it just drunken hook ups, it seems very dirty.

I don't get it

Last edited by SarahaStreets; 10-12-2015 at 01:06 PM..
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 10-12-2015, 01:04 PM
Diamond Dez's Avatar
Diamond Dez Diamond Dez is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New York State
Posts: 511
Thanks: 84
Thanked 403 Times in 214 Posts
Default

Does it really matter if they are drunken hook ups? He came right out and told you that he doesn't want anything serious with you and can't put a title on what the two of you have. When someone shows you who they really are, then you should believe them. He's heading downhill fast; and you know this. It's time for you to leave this clown alone and focus on you!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Diamond Dez For This Useful Post:
  #3  
Old 10-12-2015, 01:09 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diamond Dez View Post
Does it really matter if they are drunken hook ups? He came right out and told you that he doesn't want anything serious with you and can't put a title on what the two of you have. When someone shows you who they really are, then you should believe them. He's heading downhill fast; and you know this. It's time for you to leave this clown alone and focus on you!
I hadn't really seen or heard from him within the last week, so I wasn't sure what was happening. I saw him Saturday at thanksgiving dinner and all this came up. It was very eye opening, I was holding onto what I saw when I first met him...what the heck happened to that guy? I also wasn't sure if I was thinking weird about all this because it's dating, when you date isn't it normal to date mulitple people? To me if you date more then 1 person it's to see if you have a connection with anyone, and then you form a relationship with whoever you have that connection with. To him it doesn't seem to be the case, he wants no relationships, no seriousness, no girlfriend. I just wish he didn't treat me like one when we first started seeing each other.

Last edited by SarahaStreets; 10-12-2015 at 01:30 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-12-2015, 02:03 PM
4orSmilez's Avatar
4orSmilez 4orSmilez is offline
....
 

Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 645
Thanks: 159
Thanked 229 Times in 127 Posts
Default

If you are looking for a serious relationship don't get involved with someone who openly tells you they can't give you one. This guy is clearly not wanting one. He says he's loyal when he is serious about someone. He's not serious about you at all based on his behavior. He's is definitely on a downward spiral and I recommend you cut your losses and quick. Stop wasting your time on this guy.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 4orSmilez For This Useful Post:
darkbrowneyes (10-13-2015), PinkMarshmallow (10-12-2015)
  #5  
Old 10-12-2015, 02:21 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 4orSmilez View Post
If you are looking for a serious relationship don't get involved with someone who openly tells you they can't give you one. This guy is clearly not wanting one. He says he's loyal when he is serious about someone. He's not serious about you at all based on his behavior. He's is definitely on a downward spiral and I recommend you cut your losses and quick. Stop wasting your time on this guy.
I wasn't sure if it was just me that he isn't wanting something serious with or is it because he is on this downward spiral. Could he want something serious with these other women he's seeing. This is what I'm upset about, and I know it's because I always have this thought about not being good enough. I'm getting better with it, but it still creeps into my thoughts. I know I'm a catch with lots to offer but when things like this happen, good guy or not, my old way of thinking comes back.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-12-2015, 02:45 PM
rmc50 rmc50 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Milpitas, Ca, USA
Posts: 777
Thanks: 97
Thanked 974 Times in 455 Posts
Default

There are a number of major red flags waving here, I suggest that you pay attention to them.

Do NOT believe that he will change, or that you will change him. The only way he will change is if he wants to change, and based on what you said he said it doesn't sound like he wants to change.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-12-2015, 02:55 PM
4orSmilez's Avatar
4orSmilez 4orSmilez is offline
....
 

Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 645
Thanks: 159
Thanked 229 Times in 127 Posts
Default

Ummm....seeing 4 women at the same time is not an indicator that he's serious about anyone. Only himself. If a guy is serious about someone, he is about ONE.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 4orSmilez For This Useful Post:
WeepingWillow (10-14-2015)
  #8  
Old 10-12-2015, 03:25 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

It comes down to my self esteem, I do see the red flags and I'm paying attention. I just wanted some outsiders views. While all this was going on, he was also saying that a relationship with me, he can see and he would want me as his girlfriend, he was never saying that it couldn't happen. That's stringing someone along in my opnion, I'm leaving him alone while he goes through this.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-12-2015, 03:33 PM
blah8705's Avatar
blah8705 blah8705 is offline
Registered User

PTOQ Editorial Team Member Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,039
Thanks: 1,915
Thanked 3,264 Times in 1,546 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
It comes down to my self esteem, I do see the red flags and I'm paying attention. I just wanted some outsiders views. While all this was going on, he was also saying that a relationship with me, he can see and he would want me as his girlfriend, he was never saying that it couldn't happen. That's stringing someone along in my opnion, I'm leaving him alone while he goes through this.
Your last sentence is absolutely right. He is definitely stringing you along by keeping you there...err trying to, I should say. If he were serious, you'd know, but it sounds like he's just trying to have his fun with tons of women. Only still continue seeing him if you want that no-strings-attached fun or if you're sufficiently over him. Everything he says that sounds remotely honorable, like the whole calling you when that one married woman was flirting with him, sounds like game. He probably told you that to see how you'd react. I'm not sure, because I obviously don't know him, but he definitely doesn't sound like he's ready to settle down. I've had the thought process in the past of "Well, he might not be ready now, but maybe he will, once he sees how loyal and sweet I am." Boy was that a HUUUUUUGE waste of my time! Good luck hun!
__________________




GO CUBS GO!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to blah8705 For This Useful Post:
sidewalker (10-13-2015)
  #10  
Old 10-12-2015, 03:52 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

He wants to be free, have fun and not have to answer to anyone. I'm a good girl and want a relationship, a real one.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 10-12-2015, 04:09 PM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,703
Thanks: 8,607
Thanked 11,309 Times in 4,695 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
He wants to be free, have fun and not have to answer to anyone. I'm a good girl and want a relationship, a real one.
Hi there, this man has been honest with you and made clear he does not want a serious relationship or committment with you. Trust me if he was really into you he would be with you and just you. It sounds like he wants his fun and he wants you to stick around as his fall back girl.

If you want a proper serious relationship you need to go and look elsewhere.I wish you luck. You will find someone who wants to give you his heart 100%
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 10-12-2015, 04:11 PM
NewTexGal NewTexGal is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 511
Thanks: 476
Thanked 762 Times in 341 Posts
Default Doesn't matter why

Why is he acting this way? Who cares? He doesn't. Even if you understood, it would still be unacceptable.

The real question is why in the world would you waste another moment on him?

Let those trashy women have him. You don't need the drama, the potential legal problems (what if someone finds his drugs in your house or car?), or even the diseases (I don't think drug users are always careful about "safe" sex etc).

You know what to do.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to NewTexGal For This Useful Post:
  #13  
Old 10-12-2015, 05:00 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewTexGal View Post
Why is he acting this way? Who cares? He doesn't. Even if you understood, it would still be unacceptable.

The real question is why in the world would you waste another moment on him?

Let those trashy women have him. You don't need the drama, the potential legal problems (what if someone finds his drugs in your house or car?), or even the diseases (I don't think drug users are always careful about "safe" sex etc).

You know what to do.
I do, like I said it comes down to myself esteem, and thinking I'm not good enough for him to want to be with...the way he is acting now, im to good for him
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 10-12-2015, 05:45 PM
Miss_A's Avatar
Miss_A Miss_A is offline
It is what it is
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Southern IL
Posts: 6,202
Thanks: 3,190
Thanked 4,532 Times in 2,247 Posts
Default

You know that people will put on their best impression when first meeting someone. So that guy you first met? That's not really him.

This entire article doesn't apply to you and I don't feel he's sweet on or in love with you, but I do feel he's certainly doing this:


3. He Plants Seeds of Hope for the Future

The repressed, non-committal masochist is often quite adept at the art of conversation. He appears congenial and concerned. However, beneath the thin veneer of diplomacy lies a calculated intention – to keep you hopelessly ensnared in his energy field.

To that end, he will casually and inconspicuously drop tiny seeds of hope in your already confused mind, which seeds he knows will germinate into oak trees of rumination and analysis. He will mention having visited a trendy area of Brooklyn, and how he could see himself living there one day and raising children. He will then proceed to inquire if you have ever visited that area of Brooklyn, and, if so, would you ever buy property there? Do you want children? How many? Do you believe private schools are a sound investment? You get the picture. This is all done with absolute premeditation towards keeping you dangling on a tampon string while he sows his royal oats all over the tri-state area.

http://korenkartalis.hubpages.com/hu...s-Sweet-on-You


You're worth more than these damaged, no good men that you've been dating.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Miss_A For This Useful Post:
4orSmilez (10-12-2015)
  #15  
Old 10-12-2015, 06:16 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss_A View Post
You know that people will put on their best impression when first meeting someone. So that guy you first met? That's not really him.

This entire article doesn't apply to you and I don't feel he's sweet on or in love with you, but I do feel he's certainly doing this:


3. He Plants Seeds of Hope for the Future

The repressed, non-committal masochist is often quite adept at the art of conversation. He appears congenial and concerned. However, beneath the thin veneer of diplomacy lies a calculated intention – to keep you hopelessly ensnared in his energy field.

To that end, he will casually and inconspicuously drop tiny seeds of hope in your already confused mind, which seeds he knows will germinate into oak trees of rumination and analysis. He will mention having visited a trendy area of Brooklyn, and how he could see himself living there one day and raising children. He will then proceed to inquire if you have ever visited that area of Brooklyn, and, if so, would you ever buy property there? Do you want children? How many? Do you believe private schools are a sound investment? You get the picture. This is all done with absolute premeditation towards keeping you dangling on a tampon string while he sows his royal oats all over the tri-state area.

http://korenkartalis.hubpages.com/hu...s-Sweet-on-You


You're worth more than these damaged, no good men that you've been dating.
Thank you, my next question was just going to ask for others opinions on why he was the way he was in the beginning and then once started going out with his friends, has no time for me. I thought it was because I was good enough to be around then but once he started going out and meeting others he didn't need me. I wanted something with him, he knows that, these others ladies know he wants casual and are all fine with it. He does seem to have a pattern of not committing, he has had numerous jobs that he switches from, never finished his schooling to get his red seal, was with someone for 10 years and just walked away, pretty easily....I'm just guessing.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 10-12-2015, 06:23 PM
JustBeingMe67's Avatar
JustBeingMe67 JustBeingMe67 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 5,377
Thanks: 866
Thanked 1,866 Times in 892 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
I reccently met a guy through my sister, he is her fiances nephew and he's 40. He just moved back to the city that I live in after being away for 12 years. While he was there he was with a women for 10 years. They just ended there relationship, they don't seem to be sad about it or anything and they still talk. Her dad never liked this guy and now that she's not with him, her dad bought her a house. He said it was a mural break up and the relationship was over 5 years ago, they just both stayed.

we met and hit it off, we have a lot in common and have a great time together, we watch movies, do dinners, and just have a great time. My sister let me know that he wasn't looking for anything serious. The message I got from him was that things were going really well. I'm not sure if it was because he was getting more comfy being back out here or not but he started going out more and more with his friends. They aren't the best people to be around, they all do drugs and one is married with girlfriends on the side. One night he was out with them and a women started hitting on him, she was married. He said no and went home, he texted me about it and we talked about it the following day. I was glad he told me.

He told me that he couldn't put a tile on us and couldn't gaurentee anything with me, he said he couldn't gaurentee that if he was out with his friends and there were ladies there that he wouldn't hook up with them, and that when he is with someone he is very loyal. The reason he didn't hook up with that married one was because she was married to a guy he knows. I was upset because I thought things were going great. I realize he just got out of a relationship tho, and didn't mind just dating him. To me he had the qualities I was looking for. He now tho barley gives me the time of day, he goes out and party's with these friends during the week and on weekends, he is seeing 4 ladies, one who he has known for 23 years and is in his group of friends so they spend a lot of time together, but from what I gather its drunk and drugs. He says he is barley home or little sleep because of all the partying, he still hasn't found a job. He says he goes slow with me because we are going to know each other for a long time. I just want to know are these quality relationships he's forming or is it just drunken hook ups.
I'm a good women and don't want to be grouped into this stuff, he isn't the guy I met. I don't get what is happening. My sister told me a few months ago when he was down here visiting he would leave there house at 12 or 1am. But he was still in a relationship, I heard him on the phone over the weekend asking his friend if he should bring drugs out with him. I'm thinking grow up...I don't hear from him much now, and I don't know why I'm jealous of the other lady. Are they doing the things we did or is it just drunken hook ups, it seems very dirty.

I don't get it
If he is telling you that he is not putting a label on your relationship and is seeing other women, he is NOT committed to you and doesn't plan on it.

If I were you, I would move on as this man will most likely end up back in prison with the shit he is doing. Save yourself the heartache and start your healing process.

I hope you are strong enough to do so....Stand tall and don't settle for less than what you want and deserve.
__________________
Be Real, Be You
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JustBeingMe67 For This Useful Post:
  #17  
Old 10-12-2015, 06:43 PM
wintermisk's Avatar
wintermisk wintermisk is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 167
Thanks: 132
Thanked 235 Times in 110 Posts
Default

Honey, I don't think he is the right man for you. You come across like a thoughtful and sensitive woman looking for a meaningful relationship, while he is clearly not. He doesn't sound like a bad man, he was honest with you about not wanting a serious relationship, but obviously you both want different things.

Why has he lost interest in your relationship? I think you answered it yourself. He has a short attention span, and doesn't know how to treat a smart woman like you. Relationships often start out passionate and fiery, and the fact that he lost interest so quickly shows his immaturity in how to build a relationship. At least thats the way I see it. You definitely deserve better!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to wintermisk For This Useful Post:
Inked medic (10-13-2015)
  #18  
Old 10-12-2015, 06:51 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wintermisk View Post
Honey, I don't think he is the right man for you. You come across like a thoughtful and sensitive woman looking for a meaningful relationship, while he is clearly not. He doesn't sound like a bad man, he was honest with you about not wanting a serious relationship, but obviously you both want different things.

Why has he lost interest in your relationship? I think you answered it yourself. He has a short attention span, and doesn't know how to treat a smart woman like you. Relationships often start out passionate and fiery, and the fact that he lost interest so quickly shows his immaturity in how to build a relationship. At least thats the way I see it. You definitely deserve better!
When I first met him, and was starting to get to know him, I was surprised and excited about how much we had in common and got along. He was very caring, and thoughtful, it was refreshing, he would pick me up at my house, he bought groceries for my lunches if I was staying over, he would get up and make coffee and breakfast for me before I left for work, and would drive me to the train station, when I was sick he made soup, and neo citron and ran baths for me, it was very refreshing to be treated like that, when I got off work he would get me at the train station and had dinner made, we bought house stuff for him, it wasn't just about sex we would watch movies and cuddle, even in bed it was cuddling. It may have been to much for him? Just getting out of a relationship just to jump back into one?..... It was great, I really enjoyed doing things with him like this, I get upset thinking he is doing the same stuff with these other women, and then he started going out with his buddies and it all changed, it's out of control now, at least that's how I feel. This is why I was upset and confused.

Last edited by SarahaStreets; 10-12-2015 at 07:10 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 10-12-2015, 07:04 PM
wintermisk's Avatar
wintermisk wintermisk is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 167
Thanks: 132
Thanked 235 Times in 110 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
When I first met him, and was starting to get to know him, I was surprised and excited about how much we had in common and got along. He was very caring, and thoughtful, it was refreshing, he would pick me up at my house, he bought groceries for my lunches if I was staying over, he would get up and make coffee and breakfast for me before I left for work, and would drive me to the train station, when I was sick he made soup, and neo citron and ran baths for me, it was very refreshing to be treated like that, when I got off work he would get me at the train station and had dinner made, we bought house stuff for him, it wasn't just about sex we would watch movies and cuddle, even in bed it was cuddling. It may have been to much for him? Just getting out of a relationship just to jump back into one?..... It was great, then he started going out with his buddies and it all changed, it's out of control now, at least that's how I feel. This is why I was upset and confused.
I'm sorry for you heartache. Have you spoken to him about your feelings? Maybe if he realised that he had to choose between you and the other women it might change the way he felt? Do you think he might be taking advantage of you being a 'good girl'? Remember you are a strong woman, who doesn't need to be taken advantage of.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 10-12-2015, 07:15 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wintermisk View Post
I'm sorry for you heartache. Have you spoken to him about your feelings? Maybe if he realised that he had to choose between you and the other women it might change the way he felt? Do you think he might be taking advantage of you being a 'good girl'? Remember you are a strong woman, who doesn't need to be taken advantage of.
He knows how I feel, we discuss where each of us is coming from. He doesn't want to hurt me or upset me, it's just not where his mind is right now, he tells me he can see something with me and would want me as his gf, he's just not there. He wants to do his thing and be free, I was just having a really tough time with it because of how it all started and how we were, does he do the same things with this other women? To me it doesn't seem so, it seems more drugs and partying but who knows. It's just hurtful, I don't think I'm being taken advantage of, what would he be gaining? I think he is treading lightly with my feelings because his uncle and my sister are together and were going to be in each other's lives for a while.

Last edited by SarahaStreets; 10-12-2015 at 07:19 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 10-12-2015, 07:58 PM
wintermisk's Avatar
wintermisk wintermisk is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 167
Thanks: 132
Thanked 235 Times in 110 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
He knows how I feel, we discuss where each of us is coming from. He doesn't want to hurt me or upset me, it's just not where his mind is right now, he tells me he can see something with me and would want me as his gf, he's just not there. He wants to do his thing and be free, I was just having a really tough time with it because of how it all started and how we were, does he do the same things with this other women? To me it doesn't seem so, it seems more drugs and partying but who knows. It's just hurtful, I don't think I'm being taken advantage of, what would he be gaining? I think he is treading lightly with my feelings because his uncle and my sister are together and were going to be in each other's lives for a while.
Do you not think he is gaining intimacy from you, both physical and emotional?

I hope I don't sound like I'm lecturing you, I'd just hate for him to string you along even more before hurting you again.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 10-12-2015, 08:24 PM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wintermisk View Post
Do you not think he is gaining intimacy from you, both physical and emotional?

I hope I don't sound like I'm lecturing you, I'd just hate for him to string you along even more before hurting you again.
Yes he would be gaining that and an ego boost because I thought highly of him, and he knows how much I like him so I'm sure that boosts him up.you aren't lecturing, it's nice to hear other people's point of view and thoughts because my mind has so many going on.

Last edited by SarahaStreets; 10-12-2015 at 08:27 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 10-13-2015, 01:49 AM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,703
Thanks: 8,607
Thanked 11,309 Times in 4,695 Posts
Default

I sounds like you are still very invested in this man and hoping he will suddenly snap out of his need to play the field and will settle down with you. He has told you many times he wants his freedom and other women. Yet at the same time he is throwing you little crumbs of hope to keep you interested , telling you he could see something with you in the future.
If he wanted you he would be with you 100% not with you and x amount of others. If you are happy to be in a very open relationship then continue but if you want comittment and an exclusive relationship then label this relationship "over" and move on to save your self a lot of heartache and gain what your looking for.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to maytayah For This Useful Post:
  #24  
Old 10-13-2015, 07:19 AM
SarahaStreets SarahaStreets is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 449
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

My main concern was will he settle down with this other women, or any new women he meets, it would make me feel like I wasn't good enough
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 10-13-2015, 07:48 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 4,168
Thanks: 4,000
Thanked 4,661 Times in 1,941 Posts
Default

my first thought - just spilling it here: RUN! Friends yes but don't try and pin him down. You'll get hurt. He might not mean to hurt you but he will. He needs some time to re-adjust, re-group and a ton of other stuff PLUS the other major red flag is the group he's hanging with. Do you want to be part of that kind of group??
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do you have a MWI relationship or a relationship that developed in prison? kellya5107 Met While Incarcerated 19 11-30-2014 05:50 AM
Is a relationship without a title a 'real' relationship? belac4 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 9 10-15-2013 10:01 PM
My Relationship vs My Friend's Relationship Rant 71411a&f Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 26 02-19-2012 01:42 PM
Choosing Not to Label Your MWI Relationship HisSugarPie Met While Incarcerated 1 12-02-2011 09:29 PM
RelationShip Question. brownshuga27 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 51 03-14-2004 01:37 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:17 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics