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  #1  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:36 PM
david92506 david92506 is offline
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Default Do You Expect Equal Amount of Pages from Your Pen-Pal?

I've been writing 4 pages to her and she responds with 4 pages. For the past 6 months she only writes 1 - 2 pages but I continue to write 4 pages. I asked her why is she only writing 1 - 2 pages and she said life is really hard in prison and she is so busy.

I completely understand so I continue to write 4 pages and she responds with just 1 - 2 pages.

Does your Pen-pal respond with the same amount of pages as you write him/her? Is this a red flag?
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Old 10-04-2019, 04:29 AM
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I've been writing 4 pages to her and she responds with 4 pages. For the past 6 months she only writes 1 - 2 pages but I continue to write 4 pages. I asked her why is she only writing 1 - 2 pages
This is the quickest way to get her to write 0 pages.
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Old 10-04-2019, 05:08 AM
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You have to understand that life inside prison is normally boring as hell. It's the same thing day in and day out. There's nothing new and exciting going on in there, and if there is, it usually isn't good. It's not like she is going to have a whole hell of a lot to write about.
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Old 10-04-2019, 07:29 AM
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Seriously, who cares?
You are writing with an inmate, not much happing in their lives to be honest... manage your expectations and be happy if your pen-pal write and is alive and well.

P.S. talking about "managing your expectations: you've been writing in your other threads about sending money, etc.... I seriously believe you have got to manage your expectations. You are a giver and you cannot expect the same back - ever. With inmates or outmates. Either you give all this for nothing in return or you don't but don't expect the same back.
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Old 10-04-2019, 07:50 AM
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
Seriously, who cares?
You are writing with an inmate, not much happing in their lives to be honest... manage your expectations and be happy if your pen-pal write and is alive and well.

P.S. talking about "managing your expectations: you've been writing in your other threads about sending money, etc.... I seriously believe you have got to manage your expectations. You are a giver and you cannot expect the same back - ever. With inmates or outmates. Either you give all this for nothing in return or you don't but don't expect the same back.
I too have seen those posts. This is a prevailing theme, and there's several examples of it. OP, chill out. If you aren't in a romantic relationship, be thankful you get anything in return. Friendship and romance is a two way street and either party can leave whenever they want. Asking someone why they don't write as much as you, comes off as a bit neurotic and controlling and you'll actually push these people away. Once friendships become not fun, you don't usually stick with them.
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Old 10-04-2019, 09:13 AM
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I enjoy sharing what I have going on, I enjoy hearing what shes got to say to me, I know though thta she is not at some resort and in fact she is in the worst possible place someone can be in the USA.

She is in prison.

I dont write her with intention for her to feed me attention. I exchange thoughts in the hope to keep her going add encouragement help her survive this nightmare. Its not like two people living with equal quality of life having this exchange. You need to understand that prison ain't no joke, they are being subjugated daily and even hourly.

You getting the amount of attention you want is secondary to the states mind games and punishment being exacted on her every day. Its not her, its the system. I give to give, to be supportive. And I don't expect anything in return but maybe acknowledgement she is OK and surviving. hang on and be supporting, don't try and "keep score" unless you have the same living conditions as her!
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Old 10-04-2019, 09:26 AM
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If you like to write and receive mail get a couple of pen pals. Lots of people in prison want correspondence with someone. Honestly my boyfriend wrote often but only 1-2 pages. There isn’t much new going on in their lives to talk about. He lived a very scheduled life inside with work, workouts, social stuff etc. I was always happy when he got busy because I knew his time was passing by faster for him.
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Old 10-04-2019, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david92506 View Post
For the past 6 months she only writes 1 - 2 pages but I continue to write 4 pages. I asked her why is she only writing 1 - 2 pages and she said life is really hard. Is this a red flag?

For the inmate, yes.
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Old 10-04-2019, 02:00 PM
Stillwater Stillwater is offline
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I have one pen pal who is prolific and can drop a 14 page letter to me.
Even on my best day I wont even come close to that.

As long as we enjoy writing each other, Im not concerned if we use the same amount of paper.
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Old 10-04-2019, 04:16 PM
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Not to sound like an asshole but they really don't do a whole lot they can write about.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:00 AM
rupert81 rupert81 is offline
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I don't have such expectations of my pen pal. Every pen pal friendship has had its own dynamic. I have a pen pal in Texas who sends me six typed pages every two weeks or so and because he asks so many questions and raises such engaging topics, I usually write back close to the same length--but my letters are probably slightly shorter, as I don't always have enough time and would rather send out my response in a timely manner than delay it.

My pen pal in Ohio exchanges Jpay messages with me once or twice per week and we both send around a fully typed page to each other. But in the the past I have also had pen pals who would send me perhaps two paragraph response to my two page letters, mainly because they only had 15 minutes to respond to me when using Jpay kiosks.

The only time length would ever be an issue for me is if it became clear that my pen pal wasn't really motivated to write but continued to send short snippets out of some sense of obligation. In this case, I would suggest to him that it's totally okay not to write and if he wanted to return to corresponding in the future, I would be here and happy to pick up where we left off.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:25 AM
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I don't think there should be an expectation. I hated the pressure to write a certain amount! When my ex was in prison he always voiced his disappointment if I didn't write often enough or long enough letters. I never made him feel bad if he wrote a shorter letter.
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