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Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

View Poll Results: How effective is visitation for our beloved inmates?
Extemely effective 972 86.55%
Very effective 114 10.15%
Somewhat effective 29 2.58%
Not effective 8 0.71%
Voters: 1123. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 02-02-2007, 08:56 AM
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Extremely effective. It is one of the only real tangible connections to the outside and peer/family/emotional connections. It can make or break someone at times.
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  #52  
Old 02-05-2007, 11:52 PM
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like my husband told me he could have done this bid alone because he did four years before in state prison alone as a youth and nobody came to see him or write him and he had nobody he could call either now as an adult he was sentenced to a 3 1/2- 7yr bid and even though he said he could do it alone i know that is not true because it has to be a cold lonley road and to do a bid all alone is even worse he has been in 2yrs and 2mths so far and since day # 1 of his bid he has gotten over 300+ letters from me and me about the same thing he gets at least a letter sometimes 6 letters a day from me and only me as well as when he was in county before he went upstate i used to visit him twice a week and he used to call me every day now i visit him once a week and he calls me every day sometimes every other couple of days but point is like he said my visits letters and the calls he makes to me are what gets him through day to day week to week and month to month and if he didnt have that he wouldnt know what to do because now that he had a taste of what it is like to have someone care for you he doesnt want to let that go and he is getting by with my help and support of me being there for him
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  #53  
Old 03-22-2007, 09:48 PM
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my husband keep tellin me that '"you dont hve to come here everyweek, keep your time on study and working.." but then he never look at me when he say that, and...at the very end of the visitation, he would hug me and kiss me and whisper to my ear" come to see me next week,," .i think visit is emtremely important to my husband
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  #54  
Old 03-25-2007, 01:51 AM
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i think its very important because my honey tells me that some inmates dont get visits and he feels very fortunate to get visits. it helps him escape frim prison for a few hours.
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  #55  
Old 03-25-2007, 07:59 AM
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I know this is an old thread, but worth posting on. Visits, letters and phone calls are incredibly important for many reasons. They help let the loved one know that he/she has a support network, it can help them be accountable for their actions because they have families that want to stay in touch, they can have an escape of the monotony for awhile, they feel love both physically and emotionally, they can tangibly feel that someone cares and they aren't forgotten and many other reasons I'm sure I've missed.
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  #56  
Old 04-03-2007, 07:21 PM
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I know my BF enjoys the visits. he told me the following things keep him going:
1) mail
2) phone calls aka contact to the outside world
3) visits
4) receiving pics etc.
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  #57  
Old 04-03-2007, 09:49 PM
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All humans want too feel loved and my them getting visits it reminds them that although they are locked up, they are not forgetten and love more than anything!
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  #58  
Old 04-06-2007, 09:52 AM
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I BELIEVE THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT , EXSPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO ARE ABLE TO HAVE CONTACT VISITS, I KNOW MY HUSBAND GETS ALL STOKED WHEN HE KNOWS HE WILL GET SEE ME AND THE KIDS.. THE KIDS EXSPECIALLY LOL LOL LOL
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  #59  
Old 04-19-2007, 09:22 PM
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Visitation is very important to the inmates, but again there is alot of inmates who don't get visits
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  #60  
Old 04-20-2007, 01:30 PM
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Default I believe...

that they are very effective... I know if my man goes a week without a visit he's already pulling his hair out and stressed out by the next week that I get there...
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  #61  
Old 04-20-2007, 02:24 PM
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Visits are extremely important.

My fiance and I lost our visits back in September 2006. This has been the longest 9 months. He's been in for 2.5 years. He begs me know to come see him, knowing that they won't let me in. He just wants to know that I'm there, that close to him. Not having visits has depressed the both of us. He is 4 hours away and sadly none of his family has gone to visit him.
I write him every day and we talk as much as we can, considering the calls are 7.50 each. We're still going strong and I'm still writing letters every few months to try to get our visits back.
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  #62  
Old 04-20-2007, 02:33 PM
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Visitation is very important for the inmates because my honey tells me that when i visit him time passes by very fast and is do to the fact that i visit him almost every weekend. he is always looking forward to it.
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  #63  
Old 04-28-2007, 05:16 PM
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I believe stats prove that those who received visitation and continued support while incarcerated have a greater chance of not being repeat offenders. I know for us visits help each of us get through the entire experience. We are nearing the end of this situation and I know the visits help us grow closer.
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  #64  
Old 05-17-2007, 10:18 PM
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i visit my boyfriend every sunday he said he lives for sundays
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  #65  
Old 05-20-2007, 08:22 AM
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My Fiance Says The Same Thing. He Says Visits, Phone Calls And At Least 3 Letters A Week Is Like Gold When You Are Locked Up. He Tries To Find Inmates Who Have Loved Ones Who Live By Me To See If I Can Catch A Ride With Them Or I Get My Own Ride. I Told Him I Have A Car But It Can't Be Trusted And I Am Not Going To Be Stranded And Lost With Three Children. He Also Had The Problem Of A Female Leaving Him When He Was In Jail Last Time. I Guess The Female Said She Would Not Leave His Side And 3 Months Later She Sent Him A Letter That She Was Married. I Told Him I Am Here For Him And He Did Not Believe It. He Sees Now That I Am A Faithful Writer And Visitor(when I Can). He Cracks Jokes Saying"i Still Got 10 Months" And I Justpinch Him And Smile.
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  #66  
Old 06-08-2007, 10:50 PM
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As weird as it may sound I was glad I never got visits in the three years i was down. I was happpy to not think about everything i was missing. It kept me from missing people. Disassosiation is not a bad thing.
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  #67  
Old 06-10-2007, 07:14 AM
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As a former inmate I have to say visits a extremely important. Eveb if you have to sit behind glass to visit, it's up lifting, emotional, but at the same time a huge reliefe to see your loved ones healthy.
Now, as the wife of an inmate I have to say again extremely imporatnt. Me and my DH have only had the oppertunity to visit 3 times since my release, and it was great. Our first contact in 8 months was like hitting the lottery. Visits never last log enough and the hardest part is leaving him there. But I miss him and do all I can to visit when I can. Even if it isn't often I know it means the world to him.
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  #68  
Old 06-10-2007, 11:14 AM
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I got to vistit my husband for the first time yesterday. It was awesome! He said the visit helped him greatly but hurt also. When I asked to explain he said he did 6 1/2yrs w/o one visit or phone calls to make last time he was in. All he had to do was worry about himself and noone else. Since we are together now he says he worries about his family and its harder emotionally to go thru the day to day routine. He says he won't give the visits up either. This is all new to him but we'll make it. He says I have proven to him how much I really do love him and he whatever to make our relationship work when he gets out.
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  #69  
Old 06-22-2007, 11:11 PM
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Good idea. To bad you're not in Louisiana
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  #70  
Old 06-24-2007, 04:41 PM
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Think of what Christmas was like as a kid.. That is how it feels to most inmates (especially those who rarely get them) to have visits. It's also like getting to breath after holding your breath for a while too.. You get to recharge a bit and tune out prison.

Of course, I might have been the only one who felt like this..
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  #71  
Old 07-09-2007, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fed-X
Think of what Christmas was like as a kid.. That is how it feels to most inmates (especially those who rarely get them) to have visits. It's also like getting to breath after holding your breath for a while too.. You get to recharge a bit and tune out prison.

Of course, I might have been the only one who felt like this..
Hmmm, I don't think so Fed-X. Our friend really looks forward to a little breath of fresh air each week. He get's to think about something else for awhile, play with my son and see a friendly face. He is very grateful and frankly, I think it's one of my favorite times during my week too.
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  #72  
Old 08-12-2007, 12:29 PM
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Default they wanna know someone cares

some prob dont want interaction from the outside so that they wont have the stress and worries from that. but deep down i believe they really do want and need to know that someone cares. Me and my man reunited 18 months ago after he was at his 2yr mark. we had no contact for 2 yrs b4 his incarceratin mind u. he said that when we reunited and he began getting mail and VISITS he gave him hope and something to look forward to. he said that b4 we reunited he had stopped caring about being a "good boy". he didnt care if he caught any cases,etc. but now he does eveything to be good. the CO's started noticing immediatly how his personality changed. they would say "Wash, whats going on? you sure have been smiling alot lately" and other positives. his g/f that he was with when he went in stayed for the first 6 months, then disappeared.thats when he decided he didnt even have anything/anyone to come home to so he didnt care if he is denied parole or not. now parole is something he prays about daily b/c he has me and the kids to come home to. i cant visit him anymore b/c he is 500 miles away and thats another thing that needs to change. they shouldnt house them so far from home. i do write as much as possible but since he has only been in this new unit about 1 1/2 weeks he hasnt recieved any mail from me in 3 weeks. he was going thru trasnfers for the past 3 weeks.
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  #73  
Old 08-15-2007, 01:01 AM
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My man has a life sentence, and he tells me that he never has liked visits, and still doesn't, because it hurts so much to see the person leave. He accepts my visits, but I live out of state and can't come as often as I'd like. If he can't come home, I will eventually move to be closer to him. His youngest sister visits him once in a great while. His mother hasn't visited for 10 years. I feel that it's so painful for him, but he accepts visits for his loved ones' sakes mostly.

Don't get me wrong, we have a blast on our visits and talk about them for months and years afterwards. But I think sometimes for him, the pain outweighs the pleasure.
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  #74  
Old 08-17-2007, 09:46 AM
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I thinkl visits are very important. I'm finally going to visit my bf this weekend. I haven't been able to see him since March 18th. This time I'm seeing him 3 days in a row! He got special permission for the last visit. I drive 7 hours to see him but it's worth the time off from work (w/o pay) and the cost of the gas and the hotel. We write several times a week and he calls me when he can, but the visits really help us through the long bid.
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  #75  
Old 09-10-2007, 04:19 PM
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Visits are very much appreciated!!!!! 1000% of the time. They would love to see some one they love. They would love the hugs, the smiles, and all the good vibes we set off. It's a good feelin to know u comin out the cell, to interact with someone u dont see every day!!!
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