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Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

View Poll Results: How effective is visitation for our beloved inmates?
Extemely effective 979 86.56%
Very effective 115 10.17%
Somewhat effective 29 2.56%
Not effective 8 0.71%
Voters: 1131. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 08-01-2006, 10:19 AM
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wow! what a diffrece you can make on peoples lives. especially the ones who have no car or do not drive. will you have transportation to shawnee correction in vienna il. if so please let me know. how about your rates. Do you know what a round trip would look like. just interested why? well their really is no transportation out their. and i dont like to take long rides by myself.
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  #27  
Old 08-01-2006, 09:36 PM
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I just got a letter today from my Honeybear getting on me
about getting my car check out. In my letter he said he would
hate it if I missed a visit. Had to put myself in his shoes for a
sec and I'd be upset too. I got to go see mt Honey-Bear so
I'll be getting the car check out this weekend. Thank Goodness we
are taking his mama car this time. I love my Bear and it would
total kill me inside if I missed one too.
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  #28  
Old 08-02-2006, 04:03 AM
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Visits are very important to our loved ones. It keeps them connected to the outside world and gives them something to work towards coming home for. Family, Love and Life.
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  #29  
Old 08-09-2006, 02:58 PM
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I reallky appreciate all of your responses and i am pleased to announce the grand opening of Noah's Transportation Services. If you or anyone you know lives in the columbus, ohio area, please feel free to call me to get more info. 614-272-9800 ext.3
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  #30  
Old 08-10-2006, 02:36 PM
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Not only are visitations good for the soul of the inmate, family, and friends, statistics show that inmates that have visitations have a lesser percentage of recidivisim.
Visitations have a positive effect in every aspect. Let's keep up the visitations & keep our loved ones from returning to prison!
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  #31  
Old 08-10-2006, 07:20 PM
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Call me weird.. I didnt really want anyone to see me.. I did have visitors, family and a couple friends once. But I really didnt want family to come. It killed them to see me there and only made my time harder.
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  #32  
Old 08-19-2006, 09:11 PM
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Visits are VERY important. It gives the inmate the only physical contact he is going to get with his loved ones. The physical contact is the important. Just being able to touch a loved one is priceless. In over 23 years in prison, I got 2 visits from my Dad and 1 from my Brother. I learned to live without visits, calls, letters, the works. It sucks.
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  #33  
Old 08-20-2006, 11:46 AM
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Wow, NghtHawk! That really does suck about your visitors! I am not even related to the inmate I visit, but I've tried to visit as often as I can, at least once a quarter, due to the distance, for the last 10 yrs. His mother & sister have never visited. His dad has visited twice....he has his own issues. His grandma tries to visit as much as she can, but she lives in another state & is elderly & her health is not so good.

These "non-visitors" just don't get it! They would be helping the inmate be a better person just by visiting & letting him know that someone cares & all is not lost. I know it may not work that way for every inmate, it depends on the person, but it's worth a try. I can only assume that:

1. people are afraid to visit.
2. people hold onto a grudge "like a dog with a bone".
3. people want to punish the inmate even more.
4. some people just can't forgive.
5. people are wrapped-up in their own problems.

We should all try to make this world a better place, one person at a time, one day at a time. Did you ever see the movie or read the book Pay It Forward?

http://www.payitforwardfoundation.org/home.html

"Reuben St. Clair, the teacher and protagonist in the book “Pay It Forward,” starts a movement with this voluntary, extra-credit assignment: THINK OF AN IDEA FOR WORLD CHANGE, AND PUT IT INTO ACTION. Trevor, the 12-year-old hero of “Pay It Forward,” thinks of quite an idea. He describes it to his mother and teacher this way: "You see, I do something real good for three people. And then when they ask how they can pay it back, I say they have to Pay It Forward. To three more people. Each. So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven." He turned on the calculator, punched in a few numbers. "Then it sort of spreads out, see. To eighty-one. Then two hundred forty-three. Then seven hundred twenty-nine. Then two thousand, one hundred eighty-seven. See how big it gets?""


Is my thinking "Pollyana-ish"? Perhaps..............
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  #34  
Old 08-20-2006, 12:00 PM
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I Still Havent Been Aproved To Visit But As Soon As I Do Believe Me Ill Be There.... His Still In Reception So We Only Comunicate Trough Letters... The First Couple Of Ones Didnt Get To Him Till About A Week After.... He Was Upset Because He Toughti Was Mad At Him Or Something... We Write To Each Other And Both Cant Wait Till I Get Aproved... I Only Live About 10min From Where His At So I Will Defenitly Be There As Much As I Can... I Swear The Cos Will Know Me By Name And Not Because They Check My Id.... Cant Wait......
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  #35  
Old 08-26-2006, 08:03 PM
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My Fiance tells me all the time that he loves it when me and his mother come to visit him. He tells us how much fun he has. But he also tells us the hardest park is seeing you walk out that door and me not going with you. Which I agree there. Everytime I leve and I know he cant see me I break down and cry. He has told me that he does the same thing. But soon we will not have that problem as he gets to come home in 62 days
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  #36  
Old 08-27-2006, 10:07 AM
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My friend says that when I come to visit, it's like going on vacation for him!
I think it's good for them to have a break like that from time to time.


sheena2006, so happy for you that you're getting close to the end. We're winding down also. It's been a long "row-to-hoe"!
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  #37  
Old 09-07-2006, 03:35 PM
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Visitation is extremely important for inmates. I haven't been able to visit my husband yet because my form has not be processed yet, but he is dying to see me. It gives them something to look forward to at the end of a week and it helps to see your loved one to be able to keep that connection going.
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  #38  
Old 09-07-2006, 06:06 PM
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Getting to see me is what keeps my man happy, if I haven't been to visit him in awhile, he said the other inmates will be like dang your girl needs to hurry up and come see you because he starts getting cranky in there if he hasn't seen me in awhile.
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  #39  
Old 09-28-2006, 08:21 PM
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Keeps R out of trouble... Keeps him from whuppin' a$$ when some numb nut runs their mouth. Keeps him a lot calmer, helps him chill.
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  #40  
Old 10-01-2006, 01:26 PM
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Visits are extremely important to my husband. Without them, we couldn't have a relationship because letters and phone would not be enough. My husband needs visits, and so do I.
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  #41  
Old 10-17-2006, 06:51 PM
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I don't know who gets more excited, me or him, when it's visiting time! He has told me the hardest part of the visit is when I leave knowing he can't just get up and walk out with me and just simply come home. He says I'm kinda vain; I spend an extra long time getting ready for him. But then he writes me and sends a copy of the pictures we have taken together and says silly stuff like "Oh you look like you're 20 years younger than you are." I'm not a spring chicken but Oil of Olay is magic, baby, magic!!!! One of these visits I should come 'au-naturelle' with puffy morning eyes!! Don't worry, the food is bad enuf, I won't do that to him!!!
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  #42  
Old 10-22-2006, 08:23 PM
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I think the visits are very important and my husband does also. To me the visits, calls, and mail is my relationship with him until the day comes when I get to bring him home and if it wasn't for those things we wouldn't have a relationship. I wish that home is where he was and that we never went through all this BS that the system causes emotionally but I guess that this just proves how strong our realtionship really is. Just another indicator that we belong together.
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  #43  
Old 11-10-2006, 04:16 PM
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If you are an inmate, visitations help you maintain prospective. They allow you to think outside of the prison walls. Just for an hour life seems semi normal.

I do not have children, but seen many little faces light up when they hug their father.

Visitations can be difficult for those doing a long amount of time. After every visit they are reminded of the life they left behind for crime and drugs.
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  #44  
Old 11-10-2006, 04:56 PM
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I get so excited with visits! He has been in for 15 years and I still get the sweaty palms and heart beatin' thing going on.......just as he does. I visit once a month for 3 consecutive days....it is "our" world~ It breaks my heart BAD when Sunday visit is over....sometimes I can't stand to look back at him cuz I don't want him to see me cry.......but I'm not missin what little time we can spend together.
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  #45  
Old 11-10-2006, 05:24 PM
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My man has been locked up for awhile, and didn't have regular visits. I am only able to see him twice a month, and you can believe, i'm there, twice a month. He told me that before i started to visit, he didn't care what happened, it didn't matter how many tickets he got, what hussle he got into. But now that he has something to look forward to, he walks as straight as he can.

Lucasville doesn't allow pictures...but I think if they did, that would also help give them something to look forward to. It would give them a little something to take back and help keep them focused on what is waiting on them when they come home.

Visits are so important, and without them, could you imagine the hell they would go through not seeing their families?
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  #46  
Old 11-16-2006, 02:42 PM
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I know that at first my baby was trying to push me away because of being locked up before in the past. But once he saw that I was not going to back down and that he had a great support person he was able to get over himself. While being locked up in the past his ladies have messed around on him, or broken it off because they couldn't handle it. He also let me know that he didn't have may visitors over the years when he was locked up. Not his family or girlfriends. I think his dad visited him twice. Since being locked up this time I have taken his mom with me. She goes once a month. Well each week when I go I find myself feeling better about the upcoming week. I told him that the visits make me or break me. I have told him that my 20 minutes on Saturdays are the highlight of my week and they are. We write all the time and he lets me know how much he loves my letters. And I write like ten page letters every two days. Letter are a very effective form of communication. We have worked out a few issues since he has all that time to think and analyize. I hope they move him from county soon so that I can get a longer visit and touch him. God knows how much I miss touching him.
So yes I highly believe that visitation is very important when you can make it. It helps to see the ones you love.
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  #47  
Old 11-16-2006, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnyrun5
Although I can't visit often with my Hubbie, visits are extremely important. It is their connection to the outside world and they need to know that someone cares for them from the out side.
I totally agree with Bunnyrun!
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  #48  
Old 11-22-2006, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mel2020
Depends on the inmate. Most think its VERY important, but my man would rather do his time without them. But that's us, we're weird! *LOL*
NAH UR NOT WEIRD MEL. FAR FROM IT. VISIT IS ONLY "SOMEWHAT EFFECTIVE"AS I KNOW THIS...
SEEN SOME MEN STILL F--K UP AFTER THEIR GIRL/WIFE/PARENTS/FAMILY LEFT THEM AFTER VISIT
CAUSE THEY COULD NOT GO HOME AND THEY REALLY WANTED TO.....
comin from this ex felon just gettin out after 7/8 long yrs. most i was around on my pod upstate did not want any visit from their fam friends etc they wanted to see all when they got out but i get why
that was. some of my boys did not WANT no one to see them do time inside.


others like me wanted a visit sometimes but if i could not get that then i was even more happy with PHONE calls few times a week and cards mail. cause unlike visits,
letters last forever imo/jmho.
fone calls are great too.some just do not want no visits and
i know alot who did not get any EVEN THOUGH they could of.

Last edited by juan_nyfelon; 11-22-2006 at 09:37 AM..
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  #49  
Old 12-05-2006, 01:28 PM
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I had this conversion with a former boyfriend 2 nights ago he told me that those visits meant everything to him...this was over 15 years ago and he still remembers
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  #50  
Old 02-01-2007, 03:38 PM
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I am not an ex inmate, but the wife of one. I think visitation is extremely important. Not only does it give them something to look forward to, but it also allows them some privacy that they cannot have in letters or phone calls. It keeps the lines of communication open.

It also gives them an opportunity to eat regular food out of the vending machines in most cases that they may not be able to eat in the dining room.

It helps to keep that bond with the family. It also is a great motivator to stay out of trouble so they can keep getting their visits.
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