Actually, not such a bad idea with not sending a pic at first. Haven't thought about it. Maybe it's nice to get to know each other first before exchanging pics. Good idea. Too late for me but really not too bad
__________________ Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
The Following User Says Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
I agree with NOT sending a picture right away, but for a different reason. Unless you are sure what the photo policy of the facility is it might cause problems. This is one area where the rules vary a lot from one facility to another. It is much better to establish contact with a penpal, then ask them what the picture policy is.
As for what to say or not say:
I write to a number of inmate penpals and I always start off explaining WHY I decided to write to an inmate. I will tell about myself, what my interests are, etc.
What I DON'T ask about are details regarding their crime. Most of my penpals have shared that information willingly. You can often get some information by Googling them, but news articals are often inaccurate.
One thing that I recommend is to establish ahead of time how involved you wish to be with the penpal, especially when it comes to money. I will typically provide my penpals with a small amount of money ($20) so that writing to me is not a hardship for them. But at the same time I make it clear that I won't be providing any substantial amount of assistance.
Don't be surprised or take in personal if you don't get a response from your letter. There are a lot of people who just don't have inclination to write letters, or they may not be able to afford to write a letter. Have patience, as the letters are often delayed in getting to the inmate and if they have to purchase the stationary and stamp to write you back there could be significant additional delay.
If you don't get a response after a month or so then select a new inmate and write them. There are a lot of inmates that can write and do want to have a penpal.
I also advise you to keep your eyes open and don't get conned. There are many penpals who simply enjoy having contact on the outside. But there are also those who try to work their penpals for money or favors. Establish boundaries and then stick to them!
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to rmc50 For This Useful Post:
There are a couple reasons. One is because you should want him to focus on getting to know you because of you and not your appearance... also they tend to share a lot. I would just get to know him a little better before sending one. Find out what he is looking for. I just believe in being cautious. Some of these guys are just playing games. They post penpal ads looking for someone to take care of them... some are honestly looking for friendship. I would find out which he is, first.
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The Following User Says Thank You to TheAmazingMrsB For This Useful Post:
I wouldn't send a picture right off the bat.
Tell him about yourself like things you like to do, music, tv shows, age, where your from but not the city, why you decided to write him.
Asks to ask him. Favorite music, what he likes to do, favorite books,!movies, tv shows, sports. I wouldn't ask about his crime.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Osugirl For This Useful Post:
He never asked to have one sent I had seen his pic....I sent a pic about two months after writing by then he said he didn't need one he liked me and nothing would change that. I wanted to make sure I had a connection with him first I've heard what can go on with pictures on the inside lol I needed to trust him first.
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kimimi For This Useful Post:
I would NOT send a photo in the first letter, as you do not even know this person.
Start with letting them know why you chose to reach out, what you liked about their introduction, let him now if his values and morals are the same as yours. Just go off what he wrote and share about your life like he shared about his.
Be Real, Be You
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