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  #1  
Old 01-18-2012, 08:49 AM
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Default She's back in jail...3rd time

well shes back in jail...3rd time..3 new charges and the state has stepped in now... she has punched me in the face..broke out our window...threatened us all and the list goes on.... yesterday i sat in her room on her bed and had to say goodbye to my once sweet little girl.... it was a sad day yet i felt peace..something she took away long ago... i dont know where her life goes from here... im assuming prison... all these probation violations..and now new charges... i feel bad where her life is now..and it is time to face the music...mom and dad wont be getting her out of this or anything else again... her fate is carved in stone now...how sad that is...
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:15 AM
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Jenny
Her fate is not carved in stone. This is just one step on the path. She might stumble a few times but that does not mean that she won't find her way. Although you cannot see it yet, God is still at work in her life.

County jail is no walk in the park. My son was in three of them and he preferred prison. In fact when he was moved to a county jail from prison to await a hearing, he could not wait to go back to the structure of prison. County is a zoo. She will get sick of it and hopefully that will make her want to stay out of it. It took my son a long time, 3 county jails and one prison... and I thought that would be his life forever....but it wasn't. As he got older and more mature, he also learned from the consequences.

While God is working on your daughter, take this time to recover. Be good to yourself. Be assured that she will return one day and can still be the sweet gal you knew. Rest knowing that you did all you could, gave her every chance possible and now this time...she has to learn that you have limits. Could you maybe go to a library and sit and read this book?:
Setting Boundaries with your adult Children" by Allison Bottke

It is time to stop the fight with her. Surrender her to God. Let her know that you are no longer at war with her and that you give her permission to live her life as she chooses, but that you also have the right to a life as you choose. That includes no fighting and not watching her self destruct...too painful. tell her that you love her but you can no longer participate in the way you two used to interact. Tell her that you will be here for her when she is ready to live right. til then, you have to step back but will continue to pray for her.

It is going to be ok down the road. ((HUGS))
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:38 AM
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I am so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through right now. I'm so sad for you having to say goodbye to your sweet little girl. It must have been the hardest thing to do. I keep you and your family in my prayers. May you find strength and peace.
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:59 AM
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Jenny;
I totally agree with jancy. She will grow & mature. I can understand your feelings & how it must of broke your heart to say goodbye to your sweet little girl. Our children do sometimes make choices & decisions we don't approve of, but we always have unconditional love for them. She will find her way! Hang in there. I will keep you both in my prayers!

Cheryl
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:08 AM
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Oh Jenny
I am so sorry it came back to this...I know its hard...You have to find your peace and hold on to that...dont ever give up on your daughter...but dont give in either...I know the scariest thing for jenn was us turning our back on her...we never did and she knows that...she tells me all the time that is what got her through some hard times....was knowing that we will be there and love her through this.
I know God changed my Jenn and I knwo He can change your daughter too...let her grow...let her hit bottom and look up and say oh oh!!! and be there as she goes through this...done put up with any BS or demands or stuff like that....just be there. write her often and share your heart...she may not be happy for awhile but she will get through this...and so will you.
I amd going to PM you for her address ok
((((hugs)))
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Old 01-18-2012, 12:48 PM
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Jenn,

So sorry that this happened. I hope your okay I hope you were not injured too badly. Your daughter sounds young she has alot of living ahead of her. Please don't give up on her...she is gona wake up and grow up sometime and she's gona need her mom.
Prayers for you
And your daughter
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Old 01-18-2012, 03:32 PM
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I'm so sorry. Jancy gave some wonderful advice though. (as always). Your girl is still there and she will be back, but you will have to let her get back on her own. My daughter was in Juvey 4 times, juvenile rehab, county jail twice and adult rehab, now prison. Hopefully this time will work. If not I will be in the same boat of having to tell her goodbye and she will have to live her own life. Be good to yourself. Put her in God's hands. He will work it out.

Blessings
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Old 01-18-2012, 05:36 PM
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Sad to say, but this is what may save her. I know it hurts, but your not turning your back....your just not enabling her anymore and saving her from the evils in life.
This is your time to find peace for yourself to become a healthy happier person, and your daughters time to heal herself.
Bless your heart, and wishing you all the best.
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:03 PM
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Jenny, I am soooo sorry to hear about this heartbreak.....and can't even imagine what you experienced. I'm glad that you said you were sad, yet at peace. You said goodbye....but not forever. Never ever give up hope....there is ALWAYS HOPE....no matter what things appear to be....never give up hope.
I will keep you all in my prayers....it isn't over yet.
Love and prayers,
XXOO
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:00 PM
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I'm not sure if I have this right, but if I remember right, I believe you also have your daughter's child. I don't know how you stand on custody with this baby but I'd like to suggest that while things have gone bad that you ask the courts for permanent guardianship. This would allow you always to be in control without stripping your daughter of her parental rights but protecting the child and acting in her best interests. I so worry about grandparents and their rights when it comes to their grandchildreN, I hope I haven't crossed a line or hurt you in any way.
I am sure you are angry, hurt, upset and just devastated inside. If I can help you in anyway please pm me.
Mary
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Old 01-19-2012, 08:30 AM
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Oh Jenny,

I know your heart hurts right now. Please don't give up hope for her. She is young and has her whole life ahead of her to make changes. What's important for now is that YOU are making changes in your life to not accept the chaos of her life. Your life deserves better. She has to work for a better life for herself.

Stay true to your beliefs. Support her with love and empathy and stand strong that your hurt is as a result of bettering her life.

((((Hugs))))

K
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Old 01-19-2012, 10:38 AM
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You did the right thing..........I think everyone here has given good advice, all I can say is NEVER GIVE UP

Hugs
Lisa
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Old 01-19-2012, 11:08 AM
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It takes a couple of times until your heart tells you this is it
And maybe for the better nobody should take abuse from their child but but but
We still love them
Hug to you
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Old 01-19-2012, 02:54 PM
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Default This could mean something else....

To suffer the consequences of her actions is hard for her to bear I bet, it might just be what she needed to get a moment of clarity and realize what she is doing. Maybe...It sounds like you are OK with it for now. Take care of yourself too. Mary Beth
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Old 01-19-2012, 07:26 PM
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I'm so sorry, this is heartbreaking I know. You saying good-bye is kinda pulling away from her emotionally...I get it I really do. Sometimes you have to pull away so you can look at it from the outside instead of being on the inside...It's ok. I'm sorry she has no more respect for you and she hurt you...that is extreme for her to punch you in the face. She will have to deal with what she has done to you, eventually she will. She will have to deal with everything she has done and possibly go to prison but she has put herself there.

You are at peace because her being in jail does give you peace of mind...You don't have to worry about her, where she is, what she is doing, what will she do...and so on. Most of us have been there and have fealt the same way.
I will pray for you both...Hang in there, K
{{{HUGS}}}
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:27 PM
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probation revocation court tomorrow..before the sentencing judge... im assumeing she will have to serve out the 2 years she was given on probation.. and now new charges... we all warned her...she wouldnt accept help..now look where her life has led her... angry, and in jail...
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Old 01-24-2012, 09:17 PM
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it is heartbreaking. It is so hard to watch our children self-destruct, and not be able to stop them, no matter what we try. I have definitely been there.

Good luck at court tomorrow. Let us know how it goes. Hang in there.
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:31 AM
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Good luck today
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny67 View Post
probation revocation court tomorrow..before the sentencing judge... im assumeing she will have to serve out the 2 years she was given on probation.. and now new charges... we all warned her...she wouldnt accept help..now look where her life has led her... angry, and in jail...

Jenny, keep us posted.

Her life led her to jail because she wasn't ready to change. I pray that she continues to learn her life lessons...even if it means she continues to do time.

(((Hugs)))

K
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Old 01-25-2012, 04:35 PM
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more court dates... not until march.. she plead not guilty to the new charges..thats about it for now...
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:53 AM
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So sorry Jenny. It will be a long hard road, hopefully one that leads her back to you.
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Old 02-20-2012, 11:45 AM
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I just cant seem to get away from things.. things haunt me in my mind.. they play over and over daily...i try to keep busy..the thoughts just wont go away.. my thouhts that were reality just not long ago.. how do you break free from it? how long does it take to heal.. will it ever end? i just feel creeped out all the time.. i dont think this is healthy... ugghh.. back to putting a smile on my face and make it thru another day..

Shes gone again as ive already posted..over a month now..new court dates in march...the above paragraph is just how ive been feeling.. things that have been said and done... i can still hear breaking glass.. the names she called me.. the horrible things she said to me..just wont go away...the worst feeling is when a child hits you..it changes you forever..deep down inside... how you feel about that child.. its not good.. not good at all
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:28 PM
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bless you jenny - i know that the events with your child really cut deep - praying for your efforts to make it through these times - i hope that when your daughter can act more like the child you remember that the forgiveness will flow and healing can take place -
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Old 02-23-2012, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny67 View Post
I just cant seem to get away from things.. things haunt me in my mind.. they play over and over daily...i try to keep busy..the thoughts just wont go away.. my thouhts that were reality just not long ago.. how do you break free from it? how long does it take to heal.. will it ever end? i just feel creeped out all the time.. i dont think this is healthy... ugghh.. back to putting a smile on my face and make it thru another day..

Shes gone again as ive already posted..over a month now..new court dates in march...the above paragraph is just how ive been feeling.. things that have been said and done... i can still hear breaking glass.. the names she called me.. the horrible things she said to me..just wont go away...the worst feeling is when a child hits you..it changes you forever..deep down inside... how you feel about that child.. its not good.. not good at all
interesting...i posted this in a new thread..not on this one...humm
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:15 PM
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Jenny, you are obsessing and reliving the events over and over as though you have post traumatic stress, and no wonder, you have been through Hell. Then you have to turn around and get through every day like it's as normal as any other and be strong for your grandchild. My husband and I had to go to the Dr. right after the arrests and the court process began. We got on an antidepressant (and no, it isn't true that once you get on them you have to stay on them, we got off of them whe n our son was rleased from prison) to help us not to obsess so much and to be able to step back and see things a little more clearly. So sorry for all you are going through, and please, go to the Dr. before the court dates.

Mandy
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