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  #1  
Old 07-13-2008, 07:41 PM
Audrey68 Audrey68 is offline
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Default daughter in jail for 1st time. Audrey68 is back!

Hi everyone. I hope you all remember me! It's been almost a month since I last posted here. Sorry about just disappearing, but I've been on vacation with my youngest daughter to visit some family, and then even had some problems with my internet. I've wanted to give you guys an update, so here goes...


I sent Amanda the letter I wrote, on the 16th or 17th of June, before I left with my youngest daughter to go on vacation, and Amanda's best friend went to visit her on the 28th while we were gone. I've known her for years, and think of her as one of my own daughters a lot of the time, and even she feels that Amanda has a problem with getting too out of control almost every time she drinks. Anyway, their visit didn't go so great. Amanda accused her friend of seeing the boy she liked behind her back while she was in jail, and then Amanda became livid and told her friend that she deserved to be in there as much as she did. Amanda's friend was real upset about it, and wanted me to know that she hadn't intentionally done anything behind her back. Amanda also told her that I had got mad at her at our visit, and that I tried making it up to her by sending her some “piece of sh*t letter” and telling her I loved her. She told her that she had ripped it up, and for her to tell me not to bother sending anymore letters.


Despite feeling that she needs to be in jail right now, Amanda's friend told me that she hated to see her in such an awful place. I used to think that November was such a long time away for her to be in there, but now I worry her time there won't of had any positive effect on her, by then. I had called there once before I left on vacation, about her shoes, and the lady I talked to said she'd check into it, but apparently she didn't because Amanda's friend said she was still without shoes at their visit. I thought that I'd eventually call back, but I've never felt sorry enough for her having to go barefoot since talking to Amanda's friend once we got back. Actually, I feel like a fool for trying to do anything for her after what she said to her friend about the letter I sent her....


This last Saturday was the closest I've came to actually going and visiting her since I got back. I was debating it heavily when I finally thought that if I could just wait another week, she might be all the more receptive. I've thought about calling, but I really would like more to see her in person, and fear that if she was hateful to me on the phone, it would just create a bunch of tension for when I did show up to visit her – if that makes any sense.... Don't get me wrong, I hate it everyday that Amanda is in jail, but I also hate, even more so, how conceited I realize she is now...


I wish I had better news to report.... maybe in the future I might. I hope.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to coming back to share and find support.


Audrey
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  #2  
Old 07-13-2008, 07:55 PM
reggie42 reggie42 is offline
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awe Audrey..........ya know, never trust anything that is hear say. Things get misconstrued (sp) too easily. Leave the door open for conversation directly with Amanda. Also, don't take it to the core, she is in a bad place of her own, and may just direct her hurt towards you, BC you are safe to let that (self-directed) anger out on. I'm not exactly the one with the greatest advice myself, but I want you to know, you can PM anytime, if you just need an ear. ((((hugs))))) and many prayers going up for you and your family. God Bless.
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Old 07-13-2008, 10:49 PM
sassiegrammy sassiegrammy is offline
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Audrey Please Don't Feel Like A Fool...you Didn't Do This...and Reggie Is Right You Are Her Safety Net You Are Mom!!! And She Mad At The World!!not Just You Or Her Friend..and Most Of All She Hates Herself!!! As Bad As This Hurts Me To Say This Because I'm A Letter A Day Mom.....don't Write Her For A Couple Of Weeks....you Could Send Her A Post Card...hi How Are You? But I Think Thats All I Would Do...make Her Think ...
We Are Here For You Day And Nite...and Most Can Tell You I Stay Here Later Than Late...
Take Care
You Both Are In My Prayers
God Bless
Sassie

Ttfn :d
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Old 07-14-2008, 05:20 AM
d'gal d'gal is offline
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Hi Audrey, welcome back. am sorry to hear how things are going for you w/amanda. but I have to agree with reggie and sassie. sometimes, our kids in jail/prison well they blame the world and it takes time for them to see they did this on thier own. It has nothing to do with how you raised her or anything like that.
stay in contact. like sassie said, just a simple Hi we are here for you type card/letter. let her work it out .. and even when they say they dont care if we write or dont write... deep inside 'oh yes they do' they need to know that we have unconditional love for them. we may not like or agree with what they choose to do with their life, but we love them anyhow.
pray for her and give her to the Lord, and He will deal with her heart.

prayers for you and family.,

d'gal
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Old 07-14-2008, 06:24 AM
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wendy tyler wendy tyler is offline
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You are holding your head up and doing the right thing. Give her a little time to think about what she said to her freind. Hopefully she will realize it was passed on and the time that passes may also give her time to be remorseful.
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Old 08-10-2008, 09:25 AM
jemison2001 jemison2001 is offline
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Hello

Please dont feel bad for what shes done ...none of this is your fault.

Your daughter SHOULD be greatful that she has someone that will visit with her. Many of them inside have no one. She'll think of what shes has said and done to hurt anyone and then she'll come around and thank all of your for anything you might try to do to help her. Trust me she has nothing to do but think.

Good Luck to yous both.
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Old 08-10-2008, 03:37 PM
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everymom everymom is offline
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My heart goes out to you. I know how hard it can be to sit back and wait, but I agree with everyone else, her anger is misdirected. You can't work this out for her, and you should not feel guilty about it. She has some soul searching she needs to be doing. She has to own the responsibility for where she is in her life right now, before she can grow and move on.
All we can do is love them, and let them know we hold them close to our hearts and prayers. always.

Take care -n- God Bless
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Last edited by everymom; 08-10-2008 at 03:41 PM..
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