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  #26  
Old 12-07-2017, 10:26 PM
AndyS AndyS is online now
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Originally Posted by xolady View Post
Maybe your just not all that intuned to what goes on in strip clubs but had my husband ever dared say this to me his ass would have rotted in prison before I ever married him. Going out having drinks at a Hotel with a few girl friends is different then a guy going out after they are married to a strip club!!!! Totally different if he went out for a last hurrah before getting married!!!
And some women would just tag along with them. It’s a individual thing and neither is wrong but both have to be on the same page. If he’s going to cheat he’ll do it whether he goes to a strip club or not.
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  #27  
Old 12-07-2017, 10:33 PM
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Originally Posted by AndyS View Post
And some women would just tag along with them. It’s a individual thing and neither is wrong but both have to be on the same page. If he’s going to cheat he’ll do it whether he goes to a strip club or not.
My whole point it's one thing to do before getting married, but to threaten to do this if she has a small gathering before getting married is just F-ed up!!! I know plenty of people who went to strip clubs before and after getting married but both were in agreement.
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  #28  
Old 12-08-2017, 02:05 PM
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Thank you everybody for your replies and opinions I talked with him about it again and told him my concern and that I really wasn't okay with it even if I was to tag along he doesn't agree with me when I say it's different considering we will already be married when he comes home but he did agree that he wouldn't be going to a strip club he will do something similar to what I'm doing if anything
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  #29  
Old 12-08-2017, 10:49 PM
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When I read the “if you’re going to do that, then I get to do this” part I got a sick feeling .. I agree with the earlier poster, this is “tit for tat” and those scenarios are about control .. he didn’t like the idea of the party but he’s locked up right now and limited in terms of what he can do about it. Would he “let you” have it if he was out? You seem in a rush to marry this guy if you can’t wait a year which is a relatively short time, especially since you’re both young. Don’t be surprised if the “tit for tat” scenario presents itself again and again in your future relationship with him; it seems control issues are brewing and those are the very beginnings of the domestic violence cycle. How long were you two together before his incarceration? Do you have a solid foundation with him to build a marriage on? Has he ever been controlling with you before? Is he locked up for something involving violence? I know this is likely the kind of stuff you’d rather not be presented with, but if a DV situation is in the making you want to be aware of it as early as you can.
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  #30  
Old 12-08-2017, 11:52 PM
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I can assure you it's not a DV situation and he isn't controlling and never has been. Ultimately me and him have had a agreement from the start that we won't do anything that we wouldn't want the other person to do. I will agree with you that the "tit for tat" isn't healthy and is something me and him can work on as a couple. He is locked up for trafficking so no nothing violent. He has never laid a finger on me in a negative way and honestly I can most certainly say he never would. Honestly thank you for the concern it means a lot to me and I appreciate it!
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Old 12-09-2017, 12:16 AM
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I would have no objection to my man/husband going to a strip club - I might even go with him and buy him a lap dance!!!
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  #32  
Old 12-09-2017, 06:33 PM
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Why does he need strippers if he has you?? Why not wait until he comes home to get married and have a nice party for both of you "together"!!
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  #33  
Old 12-09-2017, 08:23 PM
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Exactly! He definitely doesn't need strippers when he has me and we don't want to wait to get married I mean we could but I'm ready to be his wife but I do think we will have a party when he comes home to celebrate our year anniversary of being married, his birthday and him coming home
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  #34  
Old Yesterday, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by HisPeaches View Post
It's completely different because I will be in a hotel room with 4 or 5 of my friends drinking, no males and nothing crazy. I know I sound insecure because I don't want my husband at a strip club but I'm just not okay with him going and drinking while watching another female strip. He suggested us go together but I would rather not.
I'm not buying it, sorry. Things can go south way easier/quicker in a hotel room than in a strip club. You're being really unfair here.
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  #35  
Old Yesterday, 11:54 AM
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I'm not buying it, sorry. Things can go south way easier/quicker in a hotel room than in a strip club. You're being really unfair here.
I'm not being unfair at all actually. It's only going to be females in the hotel room and I'm not bisexual so it won't be any funny business at all.
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  #36  
Old Yesterday, 05:24 PM
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Originally Posted by HisPeaches View Post
I can assure you it's not a DV situation and he isn't controlling and never has been. Ultimately me and him have had a agreement from the start that we won't do anything that we wouldn't want the other person to do. I will agree with you that the "tit for tat" isn't healthy and is something me and him can work on as a couple. He is locked up for trafficking so no nothing violent. He has never laid a finger on me in a negative way and honestly I can most certainly say he never would. Honestly thank you for the concern it means a lot to me and I appreciate it!
Not a comment on your relationship, but for clarity's sake and in the interest of spreading awareness:
Domestic violence isn't always about physical violence and too often people ignore or don't know what early warning signs are.
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  #37  
Old Yesterday, 07:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
I bet his mind ran wild. He may be doing what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Also, how old are you guys and have you ever been married? Some feel these are rites of passage.

I wouldn't freak out about it, but discuss it. Why are you both triggered by this?
How is she "triggered"
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