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Coming Home Dedicated to discussions about our loved ones that are coming home soon. Discussions here should not fit any other category.

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Old 12-05-2017, 07:58 AM
dunksislife dunksislife is offline
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Default 86 days to HWH: Less than 3 months to go, paranoia & fear are ramping up

First post here After over 8 very long years, my LO has 86 days left in federal prison. I am so proud of him for almost making it and coming such a long way overcoming addiction and a penchant for fighting/being in the hole his first three years in (the fighting, not the addiction). It is amazing to me how far he has come with no help from anyone working in the system.

That being said, with less than three months to go, my paranoia and fear are ramping up. Ironically, I'm not so much concerned about his ability to make it in the free world, but I'm more nervous about the release process and what can/will go wrong with all of that. His date is March 1, so I'm just hoping the weather will cooperate for the trip there/back. It's really just me catastrophizing any possible scenario. I have made sure already that my license, registration and insurance info all match so they can't give me a hard time about that. Hopefully that will take care of my end of the paperwork.

He has opted to have me come pick him up instead of riding the bus. We want to be able to at least spend the car ride together to the HWH which is over 8 hours away. Unlike probably most everyone facing release, he doesn't have a list of things he wants to do. The only real request he's made is to have pizza, wings and mint chocolate chip ice cream. I can't even imagine what that will do to his stomach He has said he wants to go shopping, but only for the essentials and to be in and out quickly. I think he's afraid of the large amounts of people. Can't say I blame him.

I think for me, the biggest thing will be the change in environment. No COs looking over our shoulder, no one to answer to when we want alone time together, etc. Post-HWH, we will have to re-adjust to being around each other all over again. I haven't lived with anyone in so long I don't know how to do it anymore. I get worried about that. I also worry about the institutionalization that has occurred.

Basically, I'm just a ball of worry over events that haven't even taken place yet, but just knowing they are inevitable is enough to encourage me to reach out for support from people I know understand what this is like.
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Old 12-06-2017, 10:38 PM
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Its called Short Timers Its normal, and he's most likely got them too There are some "sticky threads" at the top of this forum with some great info & insights.

I do hope he spoke with his Unit Manager about not taking the bus. Otherwise your trip to the HWH could end in a quick return trip back to Federal prison

How many months does he have in the HWH? Do you have a release date from the HWH? Looking forward to counting down to his release....and the update in the Now That Your Loved One is Home... forum
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Old 12-07-2017, 07:36 AM
dunksislife dunksislife is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
Its called Short Timers Its normal, and he's most likely got them too There are some "sticky threads" at the top of this forum with some great info & insights.

I do hope he spoke with his Unit Manager about not taking the bus. Otherwise your trip to the HWH could end in a quick return trip back to Federal prison

How many months does he have in the HWH? Do you have a release date from the HWH? Looking forward to counting down to his release....and the update in the Now That Your Loved One is Home... forum
Yes, he's going through the proper channels to have me pick him up. He will receive his itinerary about 72 hours before his release from what he has told me. He won't do anything to jeopardize his release or risk going back.

They have given him 5 months HWH time, so he'll be getting out in August. So far, he seems very focused about making the most of it and finding a job. We have a friend that just wrapped up his HWH time and all he talked about was how they tried to bait him to fight or screw up to send him back. He had no family to release to so he had to find an apartment. He said they wouldn't let him go on day passes to find a place so he really struggled. Thankfully my LO doesn't have that issue with finding a place to live.

He's anxious to get out and start his own life. I'm anxious about how much my life is going to change once he's home. So far, he's taking everything in stride and just trying to make it to the end. There is a lot of stuff happening in the prison where he is now so they have been locked down for almost 2 weeks. Every time they come up, they go right back down because something else happens.

One thing I know for sure is that I need to just go with the flow and see how things shake out. I'm not making any plans or counting on anything. Now until March is a long time in the prison world. When he does get home, I will let him set the pace and keep expectations very low. He will have my support, but not me breathing down his neck. The expectation I do have and will not waiver on is that he has to stay clean and do what he's supposed to do in terms of the Feds' requirements.
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:10 AM
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My LO will also be heading to a Fed HWH sometime this summer, still waiting on the exact date, so I can definitely relate to your fears, it will be quite the transition for all of us.

Wishing you and your LO all the best as you re-adjust to life outside prison walls!
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