Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Met While Incarcerated
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Did you write for love or friendship?
I 100% wrote for friendship - this took me completely by surprise 86 74.14%
I primarily wrote for friendship but was open to the possibility of something happening 24 20.69%
I wrote seeking a relationship with a prisoner 6 5.17%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-08-2016, 03:15 PM
bminomi bminomi is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 21
Thanks: 18
Thanked 13 Times in 7 Posts
Default Did you write your MWI for love or friendship?

This is more for curiosity's sake than anything else - did you write with purely platonic intentions or did you write looking for love? Of course being involved with someone locked up is a lot more complicated than a conventional relationship, but did you go into it thinking there was a possibility for more than friendship?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-08-2016, 03:45 PM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,660
Thanks: 8,550
Thanked 11,257 Times in 4,677 Posts
Default

I wrote purely to enjoy a penpal friendship. Love didnt even cross my mind I couldnt believe people fell in love through letters and phone calls. How wrong was I ?
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to maytayah For This Useful Post:
Miou (06-07-2016), Nomes (06-11-2016)
  #3  
Old 04-08-2016, 04:12 PM
IzzyLouWho's Avatar
IzzyLouWho IzzyLouWho is offline
Mischief Makin' Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,094
Thanks: 947
Thanked 3,228 Times in 1,573 Posts
Default

I had no intention whatsoever of getting involved with him. Boy was I surprised.
__________________
Angela




Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to IzzyLouWho For This Useful Post:
Nomes (06-11-2016)
  #4  
Old 04-08-2016, 05:12 PM
Missy_Lector's Avatar
Missy_Lector Missy_Lector is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 31
Thanks: 40
Thanked 27 Times in 11 Posts
Default

I was up front in the first letter that I was not looking for romance, but rather to provide friendship to someone that may need it. As it turns out, he has been the one to give me more than I realized I needed.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Missy_Lector For This Useful Post:
sweetfla (07-09-2016), THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #5  
Old 04-08-2016, 07:55 PM
FreeReigns FreeReigns is offline
Wandering
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: America, somewhere
Posts: 489
Thanks: 295
Thanked 436 Times in 240 Posts
Default

I love writing. I was looking for somebody I thought I could "help." Caveman calls me a do gooder, and he hates those type of people. Ha! I had other pen pals, but felt that I could make time for another. I wrote him in particular because I was angry with him. I saw his ad, and I just couldn't understand how somebody who seemed to have had all of the same opportunities as me, was well traveled, educated(same college) attractive, had so much going for him(his picture had the small fist of a baby in it), could do something so stupid.

He was in it for a friend, somebody he could grow to trust. I was being nosy, and once we started talking, neither of us could shut up. Now we are getting married. I didn't set out to find romance, but I am happy that I was open to giving it a shot once we felt it developing.
He's the best! Lol, of course there is no bias there!
__________________
There are hard truths to be found in the denigration of one's spirit, if one is inclined to look for them
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FreeReigns For This Useful Post:
sweetfla (07-09-2016), THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #6  
Old 04-09-2016, 01:15 PM
Psychocandy's Avatar
Psychocandy Psychocandy is offline
98% mean :)
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 2,211
Thanks: 1,580
Thanked 4,059 Times in 1,423 Posts
Default

I went into it as a friend I was really attracted to him though. Thought we probably had the same sense of humor etc. Was very scared confused when I started having feelings that were different from the friendly mad flirting we were doing.
__________________
Mrs Mroch
Just like the sunshine after rain
I'll come
To be with you will save the day
'Cos I know
When I'm with you again
You just steal my heart away


Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-09-2016, 09:12 PM
JustBeingMe67's Avatar
JustBeingMe67 JustBeingMe67 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 5,377
Thanks: 866
Thanked 1,865 Times in 892 Posts
Default

Friendship! But, I wrote because of the sincerity I felt in what he wrote in his ad. I believe that when we reach out to someone, we look for certain characteristics that we may share, otherwise we would not reach out right? Ours turned into a deeper relationship because we took each day as they came and shared our feelings, thoughts and everything else, which lead to where we are today!
__________________
Be Real, Be You
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JustBeingMe67 For This Useful Post:
Libby1234 (04-11-2016), THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #8  
Old 04-09-2016, 10:13 PM
abitofsunshine's Avatar
abitofsunshine abitofsunshine is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 306
Thanks: 43
Thanked 120 Times in 80 Posts
Default

I wrote him because he needed a friend. He was on death row and has little support from family. They visit less than I do, yet they are much closer. It's a 16 hour drive for me, for them it is 3 hours. After years of writing, and many visits... It just happened.

I was his emergency contact, I dealt with his lawyers, I did everything that he needed, as the family are there, but they just don't know how to handle most of this.

Of course all of our visits while on death row were no contact.

After a court ruling, his sentenced was reduced and he was sent to a prison closer to home. I went to visit and he had applied for a contact visit for us. The warden approved it. That is where it all happened and we both knew.

The warden actually approved each visit as a contact visit until we were married. All he had to do was send the request and it was approved.

I only wrote to offer friendship and now we are married.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to abitofsunshine For This Useful Post:
candy (08-17-2017), CemeteryGates (05-05-2016), maytayah (04-12-2016), sweetfla (07-09-2016), THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #9  
Old 04-11-2016, 10:24 AM
hopeful2724 hopeful2724 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 396
Thanks: 96
Thanked 218 Times in 146 Posts
Default

I wrote because after reading about how they enjoy getting mail i figured i would find some pretty interesting penpals. Little did i know that i would fall head over heels with one of them....he's so amazing. I still write to 2 others but the conversations are totally on a friendship level and they are really cool guys too.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hopeful2724 For This Useful Post:
THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #10  
Old 04-12-2016, 01:10 AM
shaunna's Avatar
shaunna shaunna is offline
Registered User

Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 PTOQ Editorial Team Member Easter Egg Hunt 2013 - Winner 

 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,892
Thanks: 1,149
Thanked 1,875 Times in 1,190 Posts
Default

Definately just wrote for friendship and didn't want anything more but feelings developed and it happened. We arent together anymore and i definately couldnt do MWI again - its too much of a lonely life for me
__________________
~*Shaunna*~

USA Green Card DV 2017 Lotto Winner for OC CN7**
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too
Previous International - Long Distance - MWI Relationship
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-13-2016, 06:45 AM
anada's Avatar
anada anada is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: California
Posts: 19
Thanks: 5
Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts
Default

I wrote because i had a crush on his profile,he is very handsome.So i told him that iwas not writing to feel good about myself but because he was the most hot sexy guy on the site.He replyed that it was the most honest letter he got
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-14-2016, 04:39 PM
.::leona::.'s Avatar
.::leona::. .::leona::. is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Alaska, US
Posts: 6
Thanks: 2
Thanked 7 Times in 2 Posts
Default

To be honest, I didn't even know that penpal sites existed. My guy wrote a letter to the radio station that I volunteer at once a month, which is across the street from the correctional center, to tell me how much he enjoyed my show and that it brightened his day. So, after researching him I wrote back. I only intended to thank him for listening and to be friends. But the moment we had our first visit a few months later, there was no going back. I guess he found me...right when I needed him to.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to .::leona::. For This Useful Post:
Cutepixie (08-04-2016), Heismyman (04-14-2016), sweetfla (07-09-2016), THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #13  
Old 04-15-2016, 01:10 PM
nomireatras nomireatras is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: too far away
Posts: 742
Thanks: 247
Thanked 772 Times in 342 Posts
Default

I don't understand how anyone could even consider love with a stranger they decided to write to. Would that be someone who wanted to be in love and thought that they could find love via a letter? I can understand falling in love with someone you have been corresponding with but to start out with the thought of falling in love is something that I just don't get.
__________________
Your Joy Is Your Sorrow Unmasked
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-15-2016, 01:53 PM
FreeReigns FreeReigns is offline
Wandering
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: America, somewhere
Posts: 489
Thanks: 295
Thanked 436 Times in 240 Posts
Default

With the amount of dating sites that are proving to be quite profitable, the idea doesn't seem that far fetched to me. While I wouldn't set out to start a relationship with somebody in prison, I also wouldn't set out to start a relationship with somebody in another country. They have websites geared towards that very thing, though.
__________________
There are hard truths to be found in the denigration of one's spirit, if one is inclined to look for them
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-15-2016, 09:39 PM
AltheBiker's Avatar
AltheBiker AltheBiker is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 214
Thanks: 31
Thanked 249 Times in 122 Posts
Default

I initially wrote to my MWI from an ad on Craigslist. Her friend had posted it and I saw her smile and just had to flirt. She's much younger than me and much prettier. I knew there was NO WAY she'd reply, even though I enclosed a SASE. Go figure. She replied. That was 10 months ago. Her early letters espoused the same thoughts, same ideals and values that I have. Her letters also showed an intelligence I admired. I knew she wasn't just parroting my writing to her because she's the one who brought up those thoughts and ideals, etc. But that letter she wrote was so much like the way I think...that if I didn't know better, I'd almost think I wrote it. So, we started writing based on a mutual value system, beliefs, etc. I almost didn't write in response to her CL ad because I saw the prison address. I just "couldn't" write to a criminal...could I? But her smile really got to me and I thought at least I might get a nice pen pal. I won't say we haven't had a few bumps or bruises...but things have calmed down and we're heading forward and both seem to be "mostly" on the same sheet of music now. She's changed my views of prisoners in general and of her in particular. I'm very glad I decided to write that first letter. Thank you Lori for posting that ad for her. I am forever indebted to you.

Al
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AltheBiker For This Useful Post:
sweetfla (04-18-2016), THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #16  
Old 04-15-2016, 10:17 PM
Sammy's Girl's Avatar
Sammy's Girl Sammy's Girl is offline
My ❤ is in Cali Moderator

Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,371
Thanks: 384
Thanked 963 Times in 658 Posts
Default

Almost 6 years ago I had a near-death experience and spent 7 weeks in the hospital. Because of the illness/damage I had to learn to write, type and walk again... plus went blind in my left eye.

I decided a pen pal was the best way to practice my hand-writing, and completely explained in my first couple letters. If wanted to return to work, it was mandatory at least I read and write. In the 6 months we corresponded via letter and typewritten letters, I was very capable to return to work.

When he finally sent me a photo (but I saw him in person before then), I could't believe how attractive he was! And it doesn't hurt that we are have similar heritage. enjoy the same music and have the same obscure rock band too! And more!

Made for each other I believe!
__________________
.
>
.
CDCr kicked him out of the SHU, YAY!!!
.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-16-2016, 01:40 AM
Sammy's Girl's Avatar
Sammy's Girl Sammy's Girl is offline
My ❤ is in Cali Moderator

Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,371
Thanks: 384
Thanked 963 Times in 658 Posts
Default

PS: I selected my guy from the pen pals on PTO (with no picture.) But something just definitely drew me to him!
__________________
.
>
.
CDCr kicked him out of the SHU, YAY!!!
.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sammy's Girl For This Useful Post:
sweetfla (04-18-2016)
  #18  
Old 04-23-2016, 04:32 AM
Crazys Wife Crazys Wife is offline
Crazys Wife
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: England UK
Posts: 50
Thanks: 16
Thanked 44 Times in 25 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bminomi View Post
This is more for curiosity's sake than anything else - did you write with purely platonic intentions or did you write looking for love? Of course being involved with someone locked up is a lot more complicated than a conventional relationship, but did you go into it thinking there was a possibility for more than friendship?
I wrote purely for friendship I'd had an accident and was lay up in bed for months, I wasn't expecting to find my soulmate that was over 6 years ago we began writing (been married just over 4 years)...
I honestly just wanted a friend and to be nosey and find out about prison lol now I know more than I need to about prison lol
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Crazys Wife For This Useful Post:
THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #19  
Old 05-05-2016, 05:07 PM
CemeteryGates's Avatar
CemeteryGates CemeteryGates is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 23
Thanks: 23
Thanked 18 Times in 14 Posts
Default

I was going through a lot of things at the time, and didn't exactly have any friends I could really turn to, and talk to, none that wouldn't judge me anyway. So I wrote to him, just needing someone to talk to. I wasn't exactly looking for a relationship, I had it in my head that I didn't want anyone. And now, he's coming home in August
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to CemeteryGates For This Useful Post:
THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #20  
Old 05-23-2016, 06:56 PM
tattoogirl603 tattoogirl603 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey USA
Posts: 159
Thanks: 22
Thanked 19 Times in 15 Posts
Default

I wrote at first for friendship, was curious, and really wasn't sure if it was real. But in all honesty, I did look at a picture of him first with the profile. So maybe in the back of my mind I was thinking more. But I'm really glad I did!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-06-2016, 06:29 PM
elzbthxo elzbthxo is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2016
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 24
Thanks: 12
Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts
Default

I wrote for friendship for sure. Being a single mom is hard because I feel like everyone who was there for me just disappeared. I actually wrote to my MWI and another guy in a different prison at the same time. MWI wants me to drop other pen pal and I feel so bad but I feel like the love is worth it .
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-07-2016, 09:53 AM
Miou's Avatar
Miou Miou is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Germany, Brandenburg
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by maytayah View Post
I wrote purely to enjoy a penpal friendship. Love didnt even cross my mind I couldnt believe people fell in love through letters and phone calls. How wrong was I ?
Oh dear, I feel you, same here....
And don't know what to think because everything is so difficult and new to me...
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-11-2016, 10:32 PM
Nomes's Avatar
Nomes Nomes is offline
Aussie Card Fairy!!
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: SA, Australia
Posts: 1,386
Thanks: 1,824
Thanked 1,048 Times in 671 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bminomi View Post
This is more for curiosity's sake than anything else - did you write with purely platonic intentions or did you write looking for love? Of course being involved with someone locked up is a lot more complicated than a conventional relationship, but did you go into it thinking there was a possibility for more than friendship?
I sent 2 birthday cards out....the 2nd one was because I didn't remember sending the first....there's so many things about him that would normally render him 'uninteresting' to me, but whatever it was (Fate, Destiny or higher power!) that pushed me to him, I'll be eternally grateful! He's a diamond in the rough for sure, but the best part is, HE IS MY DIAMOND!

Great Poll idea.

Hugs
Naomi
__________________
. ^ ^
{ O , O }
| ) __ )
- " - " - I give a "hoot" about inmates
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nomes For This Useful Post:
THEDRSBRIDE1175 (11-26-2017)
  #24  
Old 06-20-2016, 02:07 AM
Fire Struck's Avatar
Fire Struck Fire Struck is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 904
Thanks: 91
Thanked 1,117 Times in 527 Posts
Default

Purely friendship. I already had several other pen pals that were only friends so I saw no problem with adding another one. He wasn't just another pen pal or friend he became my best friend and we were able to connect on a completely different level and we fell in love.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 07-07-2016, 10:24 PM
JRA4350 JRA4350 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: California, USA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 4
Thanked 26 Times in 13 Posts
Default

Wrote as a novelty and to be honest, kind of a joke. Of course, like everyone else, a relationship would be great, but was definitely NOT looking for one! Did not write to any other women. Did absolutely everything within my power to just write it off as a joke but found myself liking her more and more. Expected a completely unstable, borderline, manipulative, "going to pretend I like you then ask for money" sort of line of BS and was just bracing that, you know, "OK, so when does she just try to get me to wire a couple of thousand bucks to some Western Union account in Mexico?"

Found that she is not exactly without issues but 90% of them were just due to methamphetamine. (I'm pretty used to addicts, so can tell pretty easily when someone is high.)

Overall, my feeling is that you need to be doubly cautious with these things, but sometimes great things can happen in unexpected places. Even if it doesn't work out, I must say the experience has been fascinating and has definitely been worth it, although I can't honestly say that I'd recommend meeting this way to anyone else.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JRA4350 For This Useful Post:
BearsLadyBear (12-03-2017)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First came friendship, than our love blossomed. photoholic808 Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central 1 08-01-2012 02:42 PM
Pen Pal to Friendship to Love? MWI Loveblue Met While Incarcerated 6 11-29-2009 01:28 AM
Willing to write to prisoners needing friendship pandagal Prison Inmate Pen-Pal Talk 3 01-19-2009 12:42 PM
SC, white male, 33 - looking for companion or friendship to write Marchio1948 Prison Inmate Pen-Pal Ads - Submit yours here! 0 04-04-2005 04:47 PM
LOVE is FRIENDSHIP that has caught FIRE lovesaron Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 6 02-27-2004 08:36 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:17 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics