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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #101  
Old 09-01-2012, 12:31 AM
Rick's Girl Ont Rick's Girl Ont is offline
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My bf is very thoughtful. My birthday is on Monday and he made sure he got me a card they sell inside the prison he is at and it was a huge card with a woman on the front which is the symbol for Virgo which is my sign. It was beautiful on the cover and inside on one side, it had the traits of a Virgo and then he wrote some nice things on the card.
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  #102  
Old 09-02-2012, 02:38 AM
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What a wonderful thread! I, too, believe that the positivity in a prison relationship is the key to lasting and strength. Of course, we were both quite depressed those first couple of weeks. He wrote to me that he cried too much to finish the letter he began on the first night. But now, he's seeing it in such a different light. He feels almost "saved", he knew he was doing wrong by the law and his health was depleting. (He chained smoked like crazy and drank everyday even though we honestly couldn't afford it.) He knows there is a purpose...a lesson this upcoming second bid in the Feds. He went in with not a dime to the detention center and became a trustee with a tankful of illegal aliens that treated him kindly, lent him their pens, gave stamps, paper and envelopes...and even food. He realized how good and humane people locked up could really be. My man is using this time to read about starting a business, a successful and legal kind and even reading books on becoming a better father/family man. It makes me proud to hear the pages of excitement from him going to church or just not being depressed there as often.

Prison relationships are extremely unique ones. If survived, they are stronger and much more grounded. There is an undying trust and love for one another, just by staying down and him using his time wisely in there.

We are strong women/men. We can last this test that prison is giving us out here in the real world. <3
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  #103  
Old 09-02-2012, 11:15 AM
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He is my greatest friend, #1 support, confidante, my Superman and Mr Incredible. I feel truly blessed to have him in my life. Never have I been so loved, respected and desired. We are strong, we will prevail and we will be together soon!!!
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  #104  
Old 09-02-2012, 09:15 PM
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my bf is has been down for 4 years. He is young but has characteristics of a olde soul. He motivates me,understands me, is more rational than any free person. Him being in prison has changed both our lives for the better. This love I feel and the life we live I was not able to experience with anyone else. He is my DREAM and I am his WORLD. I have helped him grow, because he was a fiery fire cracker. He has been denied parole twice because of his inability to deal and walk away from BS. He says he now has a purpose and that is me. I have never seen a man so motivated to do the right thing. It gives me chills to see him take the nescessary steps to make our lives better. I LOVE HIM DEARLY because he 1st loved me. We feel indebted to one another because he has given something NO ONE has never made no real attempt at: HAPPINESS! Yes happiness from the joint is very possible and I am glad to be living in his WORLD!!!!
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  #105  
Old 09-02-2012, 10:22 PM
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He's far from perfect, but he's perfect for me. He gets me, he loves me, he lets me sleep in while he wakes up with the girls and makes me coffee, he listens to me, he's my best friend! We can talk about anything and never judge each other. There is absolutely no jealousy in our relationship whatsoever, he trusts me and i trust him, which is huge. Since hes been in it's actually made us stronger. We've both gotten much better at communicating with each other and we can share our feelings and thoughts. This is an obstacle but we're strong enough to get through it and i trust him 100% when he says he's not going back! I love him
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  #106  
Old 09-08-2012, 01:31 AM
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I cannot say enough good things about my man. It's like he knows when I'm down and he calls me asking what's wrong. We are pretty much mentally connected to one another. I love our conversations and it's never one sided. He says "Talk to me baby. What's on your mind?"

He is so sentitive and caring, it makes me love him more. I know I sound all mushy and our relationship is never perfect or alll kittens and bubbles but part of the fact that it is successful is because we accept each other fully and unconditionally. I love him for who he is and I never want him to change for me or for anyone else. And he feels the same way about me. Another aspect of our relationship is that it has always been a respectful one and our communication is 100%. We are a team and we both give and take through this journey we call "life". I love you R.
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  #107  
Old 09-11-2012, 08:07 PM
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I swear.. my bf and I are telepathic. When I'm upset, I sit down, close my eyes and focus really hard imagining his face and tell him to call me because I really need to talk to him. And I did this at a time of the day that he normally never calls. I sent him this mental message at 2:55 PM today and he called me by 3:05 asking me what's wrong. He is the one who calms me down when I'm stressed or upset. I told him he must of gotten my message and he said he felt the need to call me.

Then he called me again at 5:30 which is our usually phone time for an hour. He gave me some good advice when it came to dealing with family members ( I have a few living with me right now so it's a full house and stressful) and we hung up after an hour. I sent him another mental message at 7:30 telling me to call him because I had some good news. He called by 8:05 asking what was going on. This happens all the time! I love him so much because I know he truly cares about my feelings. The fact that he has had to stand in line 3 different times today for a phone says a lot!
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  #108  
Old 09-11-2012, 08:39 PM
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I absolutely without a doubt know that the man I call mine is MY LIFESAVER , we've been thru so much (good and bad) the past three yrs that I know if it was anyone else they would of already walked. there's so much good things to say about him and our relationship it would take me days to type it all. But one of the major things I'd like to share is, when we first got together I was the worlds worst "negative Nancy" I seen the bad in almost everything, my self included. I didn't trust easily, and I was terrified to let anyone get close to me. But some way some how he wiggled himself right into my heart, and that's where he will forever stay. He has taught me to see the positives in almost everything now, and taught me how to truly love and love myself, he always told me u can't love someone else if u don't love yourself, for the longest I thought he was full of crap...but its so true. He's been more than my husband, he's my bestest friend. The one person that I know will always have my back, and be there even when the rest of the world walks out. He's taught me that I am stronger than what I ever thought I was, & I can overcome anything I desire to. He's the greatest thing that's still happening to me
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  #109  
Old 09-28-2012, 08:43 PM
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Thank you for posting this patty. It is just what I needed.
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  #110  
Old 09-29-2012, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Patty View Post
... then this thread is for you. This is my answer to all the PMs asking for me to thread again for the positivity seekers. Sorry, time gets in the way and the needs of this community can be overwhelming for staff. But here goes for all those that are seeking a drama-free thread.

I don't get down with all that oh me oh my he's in prison, whatever shall I do, "stuff"? It's just not me. We don't allow the DOC to dictate the terms of our relationship because the ONLY thing they can do is put physical distance between us.

He's not in prison because he doesn't love me enough. For me, (keywords: For me) the alleged crime and our relationship are separate. This man puts joy and love up on me every single, dingle day whether he's sittin' on the couch next to me or anywhere else, yes including the joint.

Once in a great while he is unable to call me at the usual time. Never once has that been by his own accord. Shtuff happens in prison, I get that. If he can call me he will call me and knowing that I never feel the need to become paranoid about what it means. FYI - it usually means nothing in the larger scheme of things, really, truly, I swear.

There are decisions to be made that ultimately affect both of us. In some regards I must bare the "actualness" of that on my own but fortunately I am not without his shared confidences, opinions, desires. We are close and we make it a priority to stay relevant as individuals and as a couple.

I suppose the bottom line is that he attends to ALL of my needs and as much as I wish he were home with me right this second, his actual physical presence is truly the only thing I am lacking for and we can deal with that through phone dates because we are so in sync.

My life is rich because I make the effort. My life is richer because he makes the effort. Our lives are richest because we choose to enrich ourselves and one another. Wallowing in self pity is not a party we choose to attend.

So if you are NOT caught up in when he may or may not call or write or how he acts at visits or some facebook drama or issues with his child's mother ("babymama" to the less enlightened) talk to us. If you are not contemplating having sex with someone else because he will be gone for so long or you already messed up and if life's little tragedies are just obstacles that become opportunities for growth tell us about it.

Listen, we've got plenty of threads filled with negativity - if you empathize with those who are dealing with difficult issues but do not share the same problems and don't always feel free to post about the joy that your relationship brings you - then this is the thread for you. No negativity!

Share the positivity that is your relationship....

I've somehow gotten drawn into websites that feature quotes and advise about relationships (all--family, friends, business). When I read the following I was reminded of this thread.

An author posted this tip for relationships:

"Pay attention to what you have, and you'll have no room to go looking for what you're missing."
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  #111  
Old 09-30-2012, 02:43 AM
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Originally Posted by choclgs View Post
I've somehow gotten drawn into websites that feature quotes and advise about relationships (all--family, friends, business). When I read the following I was reminded of this thread.

An author posted this tip for relationships:

"Pay attention to what you have, and you'll have no room to go looking for what you're missing."

Excellent tip! Thanks for sharing that with us.
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  #112  
Old 10-01-2012, 04:38 AM
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I love this man so much. My mother died in a car accident on the 19th of September he has been on the phone with me every night,emailing,letters sent flowers for the funeral. He has talked me through my anger and tears been with me every step on the way.
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  #113  
Old 10-01-2012, 09:31 AM
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I am finally at a place this past week where I am dealing well. Still days of tears but not devestaion. An it has been good for us. Our phone calls include laughter, I never would have guessed that. I have been reading this thread since I came on here striving for this. I am thankful fOr this thread. It had helped me and so to our relationship.

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  #114  
Old 10-01-2012, 09:53 AM
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Smile Couldn't be happier!

Somehow I haven't seen this thread until now but boy am I glad I found it.

I am so thankful for the man I have 'found,' since we MWI. I'm so thankful for this site because without it, I would have never 'found' him. Recently I came across a quote,

"We are the perfect couple, just not in the perfect situation."

We truly are the perfect couple, perfect for us anyways. We are able tell eachother anything and everything, without judgement or feeling indifferent towards one another. B and I are always on the same page in every situation we've come across thus far. We communicate & trust each other, more than I can say for any past relationship I've encountered.
Not to say that we wont have issues in the future but B is someone worth taking the time and effort for. This relationship is nothing of the 'norm' but it's truly teaching me to be a better person for myself and in our relationship.
This is new to the both of us but needless to say, we have agreed to work through this together and he continuously reminds me, "We are the perfect couple and our situation is only going to get better, I promise," which I truly trust and believe.

I also love the quote @choclgs has posted, "Pay attention to what you have, and you'll have no room to go looking for what you're missing."

I'm happy to say and share the fact that every day I am 'with' B, I become happier and more grateful than before. He is truly one amazing guy and I'm lucky to be the 1 reminding him of that every day!
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There Will Be A Time For Us

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  #115  
Old 10-07-2012, 11:02 AM
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We truly are the perfect couple, perfect for us anyways.
I love that. I always say that this is why we cannot judge our relationship against that of any other!
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  #116  
Old 10-13-2012, 11:34 PM
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I constantly get people looking down at me for my choice to marry him before he got sent to prison but it doesn't bother me. What they don't see is before we got together he was my best friend. From the first day we met he seen past the walls I put up. He gets me and I get him. We tell each other everything even if its something that might upset the other. He constantly has me smiling, even if I go days, sometimes weeks without hearing from him. I know its not his fault and I don't get mad. Even locked up he always calls me at the right time when I need it, he just knows. We both agree that this right here is making us stronger. Were making it through this so we can make it through anything. I love him and don't regret my decision to be with him and to take his last name as my own. He's my rock, my lover, my best friend. Nothing can beat that.
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  #117  
Old 10-25-2012, 12:24 AM
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I love my man plain and simple. He and i are twin souls that found one another. it can't get any better. He is my lover and my best friend. i can tell him anything without fear of judgement and vice versa. He keeps me safe in this unsafe world at times and he knows every part of me. I love him so much that he has asked me to marry him and I said YES!!!!
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  #118  
Old 11-03-2012, 10:46 PM
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Thanks guys....I needed this
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  #119  
Old 12-04-2012, 05:05 AM
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I very much enjoyed reading the positive posts in this thread, and I have to say it is very refreshing. And as in all relationships there had been ups and downs, but through this trying time my relationship with my guy has blossomed from friend to best friend and lover. Before he was incarcerated we were friends, companions and we also took it to the next level as intimate encounters so to speak... We lived together, but never aknowledge or confirmed our status as a couple. Friends would ask if we were together.. We answered with laughs and a "not in a million years!!" Answer.
He was arrested the day after my birthday and I was away with family. When I found out I was in denial, believing he'd be released as times before and life goes on. Days past and he wasn't and I was unable to see him or communicate until after his first court appearance I tell ya the day of his court appearance I already had my visit booked and was there early. When he seen me walk into the booth I have never seen him smile any bigger and brighter. He was shocked that I was there standing by him and with him. Because of past expieriance he figured I'd be like others and forget him when he was gone. Cause never has he had anyone when he went to jail. I affirmed to him that my words were true, his friendship ment the world to me, and I had his back like so many times when he had mine. From that moment on our relationship has grown and it is stronger then most of the relationships I see everyday in the outside world. So he doesn't write as much as I write him, he phones every other day, and if he doesn't or can't it doesn't fill me with worry or dread. I just miss his voice, but his next call is that much more anticipate, appreciated, and exciting.
Yes we've gone through tough times, but those tough times are what creates better understanding with each other. I know that I am loved by him the way I am. He has never tried to to even suggested I change anything about who I am, what I wear, or thoughts, ideas and beliefs... He has seen and knows the real me and loves me unconditional, as love is ment to be.. I have also seen and know the real him and would never change a thing.
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  #120  
Old 12-04-2012, 07:16 AM
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This is amazing it has made me feel so much better reading this! I don't get to visit now because he's been transferred so far away but we love each other so much and he still makes me so happy. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else so it's just a case o having to deal with it and wait. And he has asked me to marry him when he's out :-) so nothing to be sad about. Just news to use this time to focus on myself and save up money so that we can do lots of nice things together when he's out.
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  #121  
Old 12-06-2012, 09:14 AM
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Its true no amount of time and walls between us can drag us down or separate us, We are one no matter what. My lo always makes me laugh and I him. Like ya'll I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and if anything this has made us closer and our relationship stronger. I never realized how connected we are until this trip. Knew but just didn't realize to what extent.Sometimes I get such a warm fuzzy feeling inside just thinking of him, us, and the giggles and butterflies, and I just wanna live forever so we can always be together, whether physically or like this, of coarse I want him here physically,...Needless to say, now I see others do understand this, awesome post Patty, thank you so much. Blessings in disguise. I still get my spells wallowing in my sorrows, cause I miss him, but that is where all the love we share makes it bearable and actually makes you happy to know the love you share is so strong and nothing can touch that; No matter where we are. I'm still learning from this, so its taken some time to realize how we are still together no matter what, ready to deal. God bless you all and your loved ones.
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  #122  
Old 12-26-2012, 02:08 PM
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Justin and I seem to be perfectly in tune with each other. I know that things don't always go as planned and I knew that going in. No matter what the situation Justin and I go through it together. I wouldn't have it any other way. He just sent a letter that says I'm handling us very well considering everything. He's surprised he's handling it this well. He trusts me completely, which for him is a big deal, so we manage to hash it out even in the worst of times. I love that man and he loves me. Thank you for this post. It's enlightening to see everybody's situation in a positive light.
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  #123  
Old 12-26-2012, 02:12 PM
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It's enlightening to see everybody's situation in a positive light.
You're right Kay. We all need to highlight the positive when and where we can.
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  #124  
Old 12-27-2012, 02:35 AM
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Very good thread :-)
I honestly do believe this happened for a very good reason. If my man wouldn't have gotten locked up he would of been a lost soul by now.
Now he's realized that he doesn't want to live that life anymore. Our relationship has gotten so strong & we're deeply in love.
He wants to b a good roll model to our son & he's learned to appreciate me & his family much more. I can't wait because thanks to this once he's out our lives will be wonderful.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:42 AM
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qwerty qwerty is offline
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Just back to say hi and that we are still as much in love as ever. I spent this holiday season so grateful for knowing such a loving, kind, and ethical man. Still smiling and still holding it down.

Hugs to you Patty!

XOXO, qwerty
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