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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: would you let your mate tke a year to do nothing?
yes why not 22 9.13%
no 3months maybe 51 21.16%
Heck NO! 149 61.83%
not a year but 6months 19 7.88%
Voters: 241. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 09-08-2011, 03:50 PM
Larrymorales Larrymorales is offline
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Thumbs up Ohhh no!!!

Is A Heck to the NO!!!! He aint gonna be just lazy around the house, and me just working!!! I love him in all but he gotta help around the house too! He already had a long vacation while been busted ..! So as soon ass he out "Honey" Look for a job and support me and ur kids!!! If not he will see the consequenses... That's just my opinion girls!! We all think different!!!
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  #27  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:00 PM
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Definitely not, at least not at my house. If he expects to be part of the household then he needs to contribute to the house. A man is to provide for his family and him not being able to do it while away is time enough in my opinion.

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  #28  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Mel.s View Post
Hell nooooo......I been doing everything by myself from supporting the kids to paying bills. he has been on a vacation why should he get even more time off
Thats what i ecxacly say too!!! Hell NO!!!!
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  #29  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by futuremrzC View Post
All I have to do is tell my MIL about this year off and she'll put a end to it lol just don't want to involve her in this
*HOLD UP*

Not to be rude, but what can your MIL do to make him get a job and be productive in society? Obviously, she couldn't keep him out of prison.

A person is going to do what they want to do, regardless. *I* wouldn't be making babies with someone who is telling me upfront they need a year off. He has plenty of years without much responsibility. It doesn't sound like he has the qualities at this time to be a good father figure. The whole bringing children into this world, without giving every ounce of their being to support them and raise them properly irritates me.
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  #30  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by futuremrzC View Post
If I was to stay home and relax with him...Me him and all these so called kids would all b relaxing in a homeless shelter since no 1 will b working and bills won't b paid lol
Then its a definite NO. No to having you as a workhorse while he just sits.
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  #31  
Old 09-08-2011, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akaptrosa View Post
*HOLD UP*

Not to be rude, but what can your MIL do to make him get a job and be productive in society? Obviously, she couldn't keep him out of prison.

A person is going to do what they want to do, regardless. *I* wouldn't be making babies with someone who is telling me upfront they need a year off. He has plenty of years without much responsibility. It doesn't sound like he has the qualities at this time to be a good father figure. The whole bringing children into this world, without giving every ounce of their being to support them and raise them properly irritates me.
My FiAnce listens to his mother and had he told his mother FIRST about the situation tht got him in prison I HIGHLY doubt he would be in prison. Secondly this was not something tht is set in stone and anything or any one can change in 10yrs. Also I never said if we decide to have children he wouldn't help out he loves kids and would do anything for any kid around him including my daughter who is NOT his when I need things 4 her he sends me what I need so. In no way is he a selfish or lazy person.
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  #32  
Old 09-08-2011, 05:35 PM
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Love the OP's response about a year to do nothing and a year looking for work.... totally different things. I don't expect my boyfriend to come out here and land a job in the first week that he comes back home. But... in the proper amount of time, he will be expected to look for one. We have no kids, and don't plan on it until much further down the road, but I don't know if I could do it forever by myself. I have a plan to save as much as possible and get the best job I can before he comes home so that we can make it for a planned period of time without worrying. But I'll be fresh out of college, with student loans to pay back, and trying to keep a roof over our heads. A year to just chill? No such thing!
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  #33  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:01 PM
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Originally Posted by futuremrzC View Post
My FiAnce listens to his mother and had he told his mother FIRST about the situation tht got him in prison I HIGHLY doubt he would be in prison. Secondly this was not something tht is set in stone and anything or any one can change in 10yrs. Also I never said if we decide to have children he wouldn't help out he loves kids and would do anything for any kid around him including my daughter who is NOT his when I need things 4 her he sends me what I need so. In no way is he a selfish or lazy person.
Hey girl, do you! It's no sweat off my back.

I'm just sayin' for *ME* I wouldn't be thrilled with the situation. If my man listened to his mama better than he did me, that wouldn't be for me either! If it works for you.. *high five*! If you want to have babies by a man in prison who is telling you he doesn't want to work for a year afterwards, go for it! Personally, for ME, I have boys and I'm not about to show them that a man's role is to lay around the house (after several years in prison), while Mom's punches the clock! I'd tell my man he better go post up on his Mama's couch! That's ME tho and MY relationship. If you like the idea for you and yours, then hey, I LOVE IT!
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  #34  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:01 PM
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Not a chance in hell, I've been working my a** off taking care of business because he got himself in this situation and I have to deal with it and take care of our kids and maintain life without him and instead of wanting to come home and try his best to make things easier on me because I am not the one who broke the law but I am punished with him?! oh no..this one just rubbed me the wrong way, if my husband asked me that I'd have a whole hell of a lot to say and none of it would be stuff he would want to hear.
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  #35  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:09 PM
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Seems to me he should want to provide YOU with a year off to chill and do nothing. Birthing children and supporting a family while he is incarcerated with no real responsibilities. Yep, YOU should take the year.
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  #36  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:18 PM
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Here's what throws me....he wants you to have kids...and work...and let him lounge around? Living off the governement, basically, if your lucky. By PLAN. Oh hell-to-the-no. You want to take a year off, you are not responsible enough to be having children. It's already hard enough to get a job post incarceration, how do you think it's going to look to employeers that not only does he have a felony on his record, but he didn't even try to get work....for a year.

I personally wouldn't go for it. If you both are in a financial good place and want to take a year to yourselves, there's nothing wrong with that. But don't add kids into the mix. It's not fair to the children or you.
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  #37  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:33 PM
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Once again I have said this is something HE wants I NEVER said I agree with having the kids and him taking the year off. 10yrs is not right around the corner so he has time to rethink that..if that is what he's trying to do coming home then we will NOT work I was not raised to support a man as far as being the main bread winner and payn all bills...this is something he just threw out there and I told him HELL NO its not happening. So I really would like people to Read b4 commenting and I have NEVER been the type to live off anyone I've been working since age 14 so I kind of resent tht living off the government comment
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  #38  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by futuremrzC View Post
If I was to stay home and relax with him...Me him and all these so called kids would all b relaxing in a homeless shelter since no 1 will b working and bills won't b paid lol


LOL.. girl you are cracking me up that was funny.
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  #39  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:42 PM
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He is creating these images and ideas because he has only but time on his side. Then perhaps he has discovered a new technique for himself; learning how to explore parts of his brain that he hasn't ventured to in a long time... LOL!! Can you say "Imagination"? Once again, I have to agree with you. In one year, you or him might have changed your minds about everything at least four times. However, you have really entertained me with your posts! Thanks for making prisontalk.. come alive. LOL

Last edited by Tender; 09-08-2011 at 06:46 PM..
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  #40  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:49 PM
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HELL NO!!! thank goodness my retard hasn't gotten that idea! He's actually itching to get out and come home and get back to work. we've talked a lot about the issue and he has no plans of sitting around. he's already trying to get in touch with a few of his old bosses he's painted for, and get some leads going, so when he comes home, he can get to work quickly. a year? yea right! NOT! lol
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  #41  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:49 PM
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With him having 10 years..my first thought is dude is trying to tie you down with those babies he's talkin' about in hopes of keeping you around. You say you are smarter than that and I hope that you are because you can ask any woman doing time with a man inside that is out here raising children...no way is a woman in that position even hearing "I'm going to chill for a year". H...to the nawl! That is NOT a plan, that's a damn trap. I hope that with the time he has left to serve he will find a way to mature (because his "plan" reeks of ridiculous young boy fantasies) and come to realize life is not a game and you are not a pawn.

I don't know you or him so the whole "government" thing was a stretch in the assumption ring but the truth is, his plan couldn't work otherwise unless he's in for robbing a bank and has money stashed somewhere so that his year of lounging is covered. If he was truly serious about this plan, my advice would be to be very careful with this one because his plan is entirely too unrealistic and self-serving. Good luck.
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  #42  
Old 09-08-2011, 07:25 PM
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Just cuz most of us have a man in prison don't mean we're all in the same boat. Our men have ONE thing in common n that's the fact that they are incarcerated. That doesn't make them all alike. Each of our men have a different sentence n are each in there on different charges. Some are repeat offenders. Some are in there 4 sumthn stupid that shoulda never happened. Some are inocent but won't "sitch". Some women may be happy in their relationship or marriage. Some women may be angry, frustrated or bitter. Some women may relate 2 what ur going thru n may have good advice 2 share. Others may think they know ur situation cuz they think it's just like theirs but it's really not. We can each give our input but it's up 2 YOU 2 sort thru it all n see what works best 4 YOUR situation. Ignore the negativity n jugemental comments. It comes with the territory. Don't let it get u down. Keep ur head up girl.
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  #43  
Old 09-08-2011, 07:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by futuremrzC View Post
Once again I have said this is something HE wants I NEVER said I agree with having the kids and him taking the year off. 10yrs is not right around the corner so he has time to rethink that..if that is what he's trying to do coming home then we will NOT work I was not raised to support a man as far as being the main bread winner and payn all bills...this is something he just threw out there and I told him HELL NO its not happening. So I really would like people to Read b4 commenting and I have NEVER been the type to live off anyone I've been working since age 14 so I kind of resent tht living off the government comment
MrzC....I did read your entire post. I understand it's HIS idea....but the fact that he wants you to in essence be functioning as a single mom for many years until he's out, and then bring a 3rd child into the world while he sits around on his behind....it's not hard to do the math. It was, by no means meant to be a slam on you....or anyone who is forced by circumstance into getting help. A lot of people need help. Heck, I'm just me and I've had to go to a food pantry before.

But reality is it would be extremely difficult to support 3 kids and 2 adults without some kind of assistance. Not impossible, but difficult, especially in a profession where if you don't work, you don't get paid for that day (generally). I point that out, because that is, in essence his "plan". It's not a very good plan. I'm glad you told him his plan was unacceptable.
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Old 09-08-2011, 07:33 PM
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Taking time to adjust to life when you come home is one thing, but to plan to sit at home for a year doing nothing and expect you to have three kids to take care of? What's he been smoking? This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen...
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  #45  
Old 09-08-2011, 07:40 PM
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I think a year is a bit too much for multiple reasons, one being I think he'd get bored doing nothing and boredom sometimes leads to trouble.
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Old 09-08-2011, 07:57 PM
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Luckily my guy still has a job when he gets home. Hopefully, he'll be home this coming winter. However, he does construction work and here in Ma. construction slows down because of the snow. If he doesn't go back to work right away, I'm ok with that because he has alot of repairs to do inside the house here. He has no problem staying home and fixing up the house until the snow melts in spring.
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Old 09-08-2011, 08:18 PM
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i think maybe a small time to get used to being out, but NOT months on end and NOT out running from one place to another, as in not home with me...to much of a chance of getting back into the "street" mentality.
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Old 09-08-2011, 08:38 PM
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They have plenty of time inside to do nothing. They workout, watch tv, play cards, go to counseling etc. No bills, no responsibility for anyone but themselves. When he comes home its down to business.....Work, Family. The vacation is over!
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  #49  
Old 09-08-2011, 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by futuremrzC View Post
O goodness here goes another thread lol. Well Von & Myself have discussed our future together on many occasions from careers to how many children we will have. Von wants me to birth 2kids while he is still incarcerated and 1 more when he comes home. He ALSO wants to take a year to himself to relax and do nothing and readjust to outside life. My problem with this is with me supposedly havin all these kids you want to stay home all whole year doing nothing WTF!? I could deal with a few months of him lounging around but a YEAR no way I refuse to bust my ass working and payn bills while he's chills and does nothing !

Would you let your man tke a year to "readjust" ?
hell yes i would he's goin through enough just being in there, i know us women are havin a heard time but i still feel like he needs time to adjust to
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Old 09-08-2011, 09:13 PM
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O goodness here goes another thread lol. Well Von & Myself have discussed our future together on many occasions from careers to how many children we will have. Von wants me to birth 2kids while he is still incarcerated and 1 more when he comes home. He ALSO wants to take a year to himself to relax and do nothing and readjust to outside life. My problem with this is with me supposedly havin all these kids you want to stay home all whole year doing nothing WTF!? I could deal with a few months of him lounging around but a YEAR no way I refuse to bust my ass working and payn bills while he's chills and does nothing !

Would you let your man tke a year to "readjust" ?
and i dont see jail as a vacation
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