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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: would you let your mate tke a year to do nothing?
yes why not 22 9.13%
no 3months maybe 51 21.16%
Heck NO! 149 61.83%
not a year but 6months 19 7.88%
Voters: 241. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 09-08-2011, 12:04 PM
PattyGz PattyGz is offline
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Default He wants a year to do nothing!

O goodness here goes another thread lol. Well Von & Myself have discussed our future together on many occasions from careers to how many children we will have. Von wants me to birth 2kids while he is still incarcerated and 1 more when he comes home. He ALSO wants to take a year to himself to relax and do nothing and readjust to outside life. My problem with this is with me supposedly havin all these kids you want to stay home all whole year doing nothing WTF!? I could deal with a few months of him lounging around but a YEAR no way I refuse to bust my ass working and payn bills while he's chills and does nothing !

Would you let your man tke a year to "readjust" ?
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:21 PM
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Not even a small chance of that happening! "Idle hands are the devil's playground" would be the second thing out of my mouth, right after "You effing want WHAT?
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:29 PM
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If he wanted to, but best believe I would be relaxing right along with him. Some people have the money to do it, if he does not, it's just a fantasy.

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  #4  
Old 09-08-2011, 12:33 PM
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If he wanted to, but best believe I would be relaxing right along with him.
If I was to stay home and relax with him...Me him and all these so called kids would all b relaxing in a homeless shelter since no 1 will b working and bills won't b paid lol
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:36 PM
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Maybe a month but not a year
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:38 PM
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umm no way! I can do bad all by myself!
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:43 PM
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My boo just wants to hurry home so he can take care of all his friends and family that are out here hurting!
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nimuay View Post
Not even a small chance of that happening! "Idle hands are the devil's playground" would be the second thing out of my mouth, right after "You effing want WHAT?
Lol I couldn't believe he said that he buggin out his ass has 10 more yrs to chill and relax I refuse to play house and working wife alllll by myself
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:44 PM
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No way! In the past 2 years before he left we lived together and he worked MAYBE 4 months he lost one job then was laid off from another. He did plenty of "lounging" he def. will be getting a job pretty quick. I can pretty much tell I will be done with this whole making it by myself business by then! 3 months TOPS & that's pushing it in my book..I want to start a family & I'll be just graduating school sooo!
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:45 PM
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maybe 6 months but the whole kids thing would be waiting till he got home!
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:45 PM
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i definitely think there should be a readjustment period...but a year...hmmmm...could be a bit much.....
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:53 PM
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I love a good plan but this isn't a good plan. If he's serious about this then I wouldn't be having new babies that's for sure. I would be getting my own damn plan together and it would be unlikely to include him in any significant way.
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nimuay View Post
Not even a small chance of that happening! "Idle hands are the devil's playground" would be the second thing out of my mouth, right after "You effing want WHAT?
That was my first thought too.
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:05 PM
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I love a good plan but this isn't a good plan. If he's serious about this then I wouldn't be having new babies that's for sure. I would be getting my own damn plan together and it would be unlikely to include him in any significant way.
I have 10yrs till he's home so I definitely have my plan I'm studying to a beautician and I'll b going to school for EMT. All I have to do is tell my MIL about this year off and she'll put a end to it lol just don't want to involve her in this
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:08 PM
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Lol Your MIL Sounds Like My MIL And My Husband Listens To His Mother Without A Second Thought! Good Luck With School And Your BID Also!
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:16 PM
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Lol Your MIL Sounds Like My MIL And My Husband Listens To His Mother Without A Second Thought! Good Luck With School And Your BID Also!

Lol giirrrrlll my MIL dnt play my baby the only child so that's her MAN I love there relationship. And thank GOD we cool cause we definitely wouldn't work if me and her didn't get along
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:24 PM
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I Know Exactly How You Feel His Momma Calls Me Everyday We Have An Amazing Relationship And If We Didnt Get Along Idk How He Could Handle Both Of Us! Lol But He Isnt Her Only Child But Her Baby So He Has Her Entire Heart And He Knows It! He Would Do Anything Against Her Say.

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Lol giirrrrlll my MIL dnt play my baby the only child so that's her MAN I love there relationship. And thank GOD we cool cause we definitely wouldn't work if me and her didn't get along
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:43 PM
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If he wants 2 have kids n he wants 2 stay home 4 a year, then that just might work 4 u. If he stays home with the kids, he can spend quality time with them n u won't need 2pay 4 daycare. That way he's still contributing n he still has time 2 adjust 2 life on the outside. If we had kids I would plan on my hubby staying home with them until he finds work, however long that would take. I know when I'm out of work it's hard enough 4 ME 2 find a job n I have work experience, a high school diploma n a clean record. I can expect that it will be even harder 4 my hubby if n when he finally makes it home. But even if we don't have kids (which is likely since we don't get family visits) my hubby is doing 25 to life so he's definitely gonna need some time 2 adjust, but after 6 months I'd like 4 him 2 start lookin 4 work. But I don't know how things will be by then. If we feel like he needs more time, I'm not gonna rush it. I'd just be thankful 2 have him home.
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:44 PM
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Hell nooooo......I been doing everything by myself from supporting the kids to paying bills. he has been on a vacation why should he get even more time off
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:49 PM
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I would want him to enjoy the things that he has missed out on, my man has been in prison for 14 years so far. We were kids when he went in, so much has changed, and he needs to adapt to a whole new lifestyle. If he needs some time to just relax and enjoy, I support that. Although I really think he's ready for the "normal", and I don't think he will just "hang out" for very long.
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Old 09-08-2011, 02:56 PM
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I understand him wanting to take a little time to readjust and stend time with the kids (if you guys have them) but not a year, and for the day care thing if he has 10yrs left there would be no expense for day care anymore, so it wouldnt help you out for him to watch the kids, me and my man has a plan because he has his barber liscense and he is the barber there so he has another 7yrs of practice before he comes home and we plan on having a baby next year so he or she will be 5yrs old and in kindergarden so he would be expected to get to work a.s.a.p
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:06 PM
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If only it was easy for them to find a job...not only the economy but even before...with their records its hard for them...call me what you want...but i'd let my be the stay at home dad...i would control the money...if he was able to find a job...best believe I would rather him take it though...but if he's trying I can't really knock him... so what do you do when it takes a year plus to find a job...not even McDonalds hires people with records anymore...he will have to be self employed...just something I have noticed
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
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I understand him wanting to take a little time to readjust and stend time with the kids (if you guys have them) but not a year, and for the day care thing if he has 10yrs left there would be no expense for day care anymore, so it wouldnt help you out for him to watch the kids, me and my man has a plan because he has his barber liscense and he is the barber there so he has another 7yrs of practice before he comes home and we plan on having a baby next year so he or she will be 5yrs old and in kindergarden so he would be expected to get to work a.s.a.p
Yea I'm not worried about daycare expenses I already have a daughter who's 2yrs old and I dnt pay for her child care as long as I work or go to school I dnt hve to worry about it. Also von has a plan for us to move to ATL when he comes home and he's in college for a business degree he wants to open corner stores so we already hve an account for tht we have things planned out BUT I am not a fan of this 1yr thing because someone with too much time on there hands is nt a good thing
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HisBabyKaykes View Post
If only it was easy for them to find a job...not only the economy but even before...with their records its hard for them...call me what you want...but i'd let my be the stay at home dad...i would control the money...if he was able to find a job...best believe I would rather him take it though...but if he's trying I can't really knock him... so what do you do when it takes a year plus to find a job...not even McDonalds hires people with records anymore...he will have to be self employed...just something I have noticed
I realize it will take time to look for a job especially with his crime BUT taking a year to look for work and taking a year to sit on your ass are 2 TOTALLY different things. He's not goin to sit on his ass for a year THEN spend however long to look for a job
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:35 PM
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I know alex is gonna need some time after being in so long, but even he knows day one he's gotta be on it. If you give yourself that time then your asking to get bored and caught up in the wrong situation. Alex wants to get out have a few weeks with me then hit the pavement looking for work and school. I think if he's wanting a year there is something not right there specially if he wants you to have all these kids..
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