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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Can you deal with a long distance relationship?
Yes, I can 208 71.72%
No, it won't work 10 3.45%
It all depends 63 21.72%
Not too sure 9 3.10%
Voters: 290. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:45 PM
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My honey is in Florida and I am in Texas. So it is pretty hard. Since he is at work release now, and he does come home on Saturdays for 8 hours a day!! I get sad because I cant see him during that time. But, I will go see him in July!! Its hard. I miss him everyday and think of him all day. 11 monthes and he will be here!!
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  #27  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:51 PM
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sure it can work.....
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  #28  
Old 05-09-2010, 04:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabygirlNGary View Post
I think everyone here knows how to deal with long distance relationships. We are with men that are incarcerated
As long as both are in the same state, I don't call that long distance. What I call long distance is when I see things on here like she's in IL, he's in TX, or he's in NY and she's in FL, or he's in Mississippi and she's in Australia. So go easy when you speak for everyone.

Whether I could deal with a long distance relationship, I really don't know, because I think it's so sad when a man gets out then goes to a half-way house and his wife lives in another state or country. Alot of these men getting out *get in trouble with the ladies*, and with him in another state or country he couldn't really *get in trouble* because he'd be so far away that it would still be like prison -- all you'd factly know is what he tells you. My thoughts would be consumed with he wants sex, sex, sex and because I'm not there and he may be thinking with his penis rather than his head or heart . . .
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  #29  
Old 05-09-2010, 04:49 PM
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p.s. So I voted the last option, not too sure.
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  #30  
Old 05-10-2010, 03:45 PM
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All of my serious relationships were long distance. I hate when guys act needy & jealous and want to be around me all of the time so i guess thats one thing about LDR's that is good lol. But otherwise I hate being in them. When I am lonely or need a hug I can't have one from my love, and I hate that everything has to be a big plan. I do think they can work if you really want them to but it just takes a lot of effort and work on both sides.
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  #31  
Old 05-13-2010, 01:10 AM
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I did the prison LDR for more than 3 years (long distance without phonecalls and visits). And then the "free LDR" for another 2 1/2 years after he got out (with webcams, phonesex etc.).

I think that when both people are free it's much harder although I would choose free LDR over prison LDR any day.
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  #32  
Old 05-13-2010, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EZsWife View Post
I did the prison LDR for more than 3 years (long distance without phonecalls and visits). And then the "free LDR" for another 2 1/2 years after he got out (with webcams, phonesex etc.).

I think that when both people are free it's much harder although I would choose free LDR over prison LDR any day.
EZsWife, did you and your man end up getting married after the 2 and 1/2 years of "free LDR" or were you married before? Did you move to be with him or did he come to you?

I'm asking because my love is now in prison 900 miles from me and he will probably have to do his parole time in that state. I have a job and family that I don't want to leave anytime soon. So, until he can come to me, we'll be doing the "LDR" thing even after he gets released. But I can already see how it would be harder to keep everything strong once he's free. So many distractions.... Do you have any advice about that?

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Resah
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  #33  
Old 06-09-2010, 08:43 PM
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well hello again ladies..
i voted yes, i can deal and live with being in a lond distance relationship..
my man has been gone for one year and hopefully he'll be out this coming october or september..
i wouldnt do this for any other, but my man...
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  #34  
Old 06-09-2010, 09:04 PM
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I put not sure. I am going through a fairly new long distance relationship as we speak. My man was recently shipped out of state. He is now 2017 miles away. I am used to seeing him on a regular basis and unfortunately right now due to finances I won't be able to see him. Not for a long long while. I put not sure because I can't read into the future I don't what could happen between now and 2014. Some people IMO don't seem to really have a big problem with having a man in prison. They probably just don't show it, but for me it's really really hard and EXTREMELY frustrating, Also, my man is not that great of a communicator. His letters are like just notes and they feel forced. In person he's great. He doesn't really talk a good game. He shows me he loves me. He shows me he cares. Which is so GREAT if he was home. So I don't know whats going to happen with us.
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  #35  
Old 06-09-2010, 09:16 PM
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I will tell everyone if that's where your heart is go for it. Take a chance. I'm doing it now, my love is over 2000 miles away and we been together 3 years now we met while he been in there and I've flown to see him only once but we talk alot, and I'm getting up and moving right where he is, so I can be close to him when he touch down & so we can get married and I can be there for my man and make sure all his needs is met when he touch down. Cuz. I GOT, I GOT, I GOT I GOT HIS BACK YALL.

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  #36  
Old 06-10-2010, 11:30 AM
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i have to really love the person to decided to be in a long distance relationship. for some reason i keep ending up in them. they can last but i think a guy finds it harder to be faithful that is if he is not in prison.
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  #37  
Old 06-10-2010, 12:48 PM
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You never know for sure what you're made of and whether or not you can do it unless you try. I wasn't sure I could, but with him I can make it work. We both love each other and want it to work and both put in the work to make it work. I've been in a LDR before that didn't work and I honestly believe it was because neither of our hearts were in it.
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  #38  
Old 02-07-2011, 05:56 PM
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I said yes because I am - my bf lives 200 miles away so we would only see each other once in awhile - it's not hard if you both love each other very much!
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  #39  
Old 02-07-2011, 06:03 PM
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I answered yes because right now Im living a long distance relationship. I cant go see my man (processing only family can visit) and are only communication is letters and the phone call once a week for 15 minutes. Hopefully he gets transfered soon closer so I can go see him.
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  #40  
Old 02-07-2011, 06:43 PM
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Well being in a prison relationship, I think that it would be easy to deal with a long distance relationship. I am in IL and he is in Louisana and he may have to parole in the state he did his crime in. I am hoping he gets transfered closer to me and we have already discussed that when its time for him to be released him being paroled in the state that I am in, because I can't just walk away from my career. However if it is not possibe I will work something out then, but I asked him if he will be able to deal with us be in a LDR and he said he if its because of things out of our control, but at the end of the day we should be trying to be together, even if that means that I have to back to the state we met in.
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  #41  
Old 02-07-2011, 09:49 PM
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I chose it all depends because I think it depends on how committed both parties are to the relationship. It is possible but it takes work just like a prison relationship.
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  #42  
Old 02-15-2011, 05:09 PM
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Long distance relationships have nothing on prison relationships. Long distance you can visit, call, texts, emails & meet half way of the distance. Prison you can't do any of that, & if they can, it's all monitored.
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  #43  
Old 02-16-2011, 08:03 PM
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Of course it can, now that may be the military side of me talking. Some people just don't like to be alone, some feel they "need their mate" at all times. But I believe any relationship has it's ups and downs. Personally, I think we as women forget how wonderful and beautiful we are, especially when we are so quick to put each other down. As my wonderful mother use to say, "you gotta learn to live by yourself before you can live with somebody else."
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  #44  
Old 02-16-2011, 08:24 PM
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I had a long distance relationship for 5 years BEFORE incarceration. I think it depends on the people involved and the reason. I was not going to uproot my son from school and he fully understood that. The schools were no comparison and for that reason, I was on one coast, and he was on the other.

We saw each other at least monthly, and sometimes more often than that. We were on the phone every day. He called me every single morning before he went to work and again at night before I went to sleep.

He never cheated on me and I never cheated on him. After my son graduated, I moved because my career is more mobile than his! I never felt the need to be around him all day every day and in fact that would drive me nuts.
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  #45  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:25 PM
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Im in a 1500 mile distance one and we are both faithful to each other--It sucks going a long time without physical contact--but when you love someone, its worth it.
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  #46  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:49 PM
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I think if you both want it to work then it can work long distance or not. I personally can & will continue to be faithful..just means our relationship isn't all about sex..it's about true love... It is hard, def. isn't easy, but it's not impossible. I really enjoy that we get to open up more since all we have is phone, letters & email & an occasional visit. Makes you appreciate each other more too--in my opinion!
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  #47  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:51 PM
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It is possible, but there are a lot of factors that go into determining whether or not it will work. Both parties have to be willing to make the effort to keep the relationship strong. It's hard being away from the person you care about and it's not for everyone, but the people who decide that it is worth it will make it work.
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  #48  
Old 12-12-2011, 09:21 PM
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Yes I think a long distance can work,it's not going to be the easiest thing in the world,but with true love and dedication.patience also especially since it's going to be along wait.For my boo we still have 20 months until he finnaly gets out,but I'm willing to wait for him as long it takes.
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  #49  
Old 12-12-2011, 10:47 PM
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Funny you should ask. Not only my man is in prison, but we are in a long-distance relationship, me being from Canada, him from the USA. We have been doing this for 2 years, during which he ended up being incarcerated a few times. This is by far the longest he's been incarcerated for though. The way it worked is I would go down for a few weeks (last time before he was taken in was 2 months) and we'd spend time together. We also have a 16 month old daughter together. This time, when he's done with all this, he's coming home to me, up here in Canada. That should happen in June sometime. 2 years of being back and forth is enough.
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  #50  
Old 12-13-2011, 04:55 AM
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If you want it to work then it will is my motto....
Currently me being in the United Kingdom with my family and my husband being locked up in California is definatly a trying struggle for our relationship.
We love each other dearly and talk once a week on the phone and do the daily email and letter once a week so I believe it can....However saying that before he got sentenced we lived in MD,USA....looking back now that was easy him being in one state and me in another and to think I complained about it??....Now were not even in the same country so can someone clarify to me what they REALLY consider to be classed as long distance?
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