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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Is your man just using you?
No,I know he loves me 337 89.39%
He only pays attention to me when he needs things 15 3.98%
He always needs money & favors or sex,then leaves 12 3.18%
family & friends say he's using me but they are liars 21 5.57%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 377. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 03-18-2009, 07:52 AM
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jessie'sgirl that does sound kind of shady...but i would wait it out and see...if he sent u 200 whan he said he would, then i would think that there is some merit to his actions! idk? men tend to show their feelings differently.
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  #52  
Old 04-22-2011, 12:38 PM
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Yes.

He is just using me.

Maybe he thinks that he loves me.

But, if he did, he'd stay out of jail.
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  #53  
Old 04-22-2011, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babydoll7x7 View Post
Do you honestly feel that your man has always been loyal to you?
If your man has ever cheated on you before,can you trust him now?
Do friends & family tell you he's using you?
Has your man always been true to you & you are 100% certain?
Does your man only pay attention to you when he needs something?
Did your man spend alot of time with you before being locked up?
How do you know he loves you for a fact?
he's my xx did he cheat hell yeah did i trust afterward hell no,he claim he was always honest in a raw way,cant say thats true,i neva spent time with him outside,i'm guessing he loved me at some point he just had his own version of loving:soo the:
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  #54  
Old 04-25-2011, 12:24 PM
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My Baby says if I never send him anything, never come see him or accept any phone calls he still loves me. He's been gone 22yrs and when he left he told me to live my life and if we got back together later on that would be wonderful.He was 18 and it was devastating for me to let him go. I visited him for a while until he refused to see me. He spent about 14yrs alone with no one coming to visit and an occasional letter from me to update him on our daughter. He would not let me bring our daughter to visit and kept telling me to move on so I did. We started talking again in 08, he comes home in exactly 3yrs.
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  #55  
Old 04-26-2011, 10:43 AM
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Nope, but I'm using him..or at least I will be in 13 days! Using him for his body. No doubt. hee hee
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  #56  
Old 08-01-2011, 01:39 PM
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No I don't think he's using me, better yet I know he's not, the only money he asks me to send is enough for his writing material because hes in the boot camp type program and he can only call on weekends and sometimes he doesnt even get to use the phone because they have certain times they can call and not everybody can get to the phone, i send him $20-$30 a money not because he asks but because I want to so he can write. I keep money on the phone because we have a son and I let him hear his daddys voice. He appreciates the little things I do like sending pictures or cards. My family (except my mom) dont care much for him but they're just those kind of people who think nobody is good enough for me and its always been that way I don't think they would think.God himself was good enough for me. But they don't try to punish me or down me for being with him they know its my life and I'm going to.do whatever I choose. I know that he loves me because before he went in he worked 7 days a week plus overtime to take care of me.and our son and he's a damn good daddy. Now don't get me wrong we don't have a perfect relationship by no means we have our ups and downs but most people do its whether you stick together or not that matters. He's there when I need to vent(even before prison and.hes only got 6 months and this is starting month 2), when I'm sick I get the royal treatment, if I need anything he's always taken care of it. Like I said were not perfect, but we've got love and. love goes a long way
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  #57  
Old 09-12-2012, 11:50 PM
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Does he love me yes, has he cheated, not to my knowledge, but i wont ever say that he never would, not that i doubt him but because crow doesnt taste so good. Is he using me for money, no because he gets mad when i put money on his books and asked me only to put money on the phone so we can talk.
i trust my husband, but i wont ever put my whole trust in any man. we have a strong bond, and we worry about today,, not tomorrow each day,
My husband always pays attention to me, wherever we go together I get the royal treatment..
I love my baby, and he loves me, but all relationships have thier issues, ups and downs, and I wont sit here and say that he is perfect or that I am, im trusting God, that is the only man I truely trust.... His will be done,.
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  #58  
Old 09-13-2012, 01:39 AM
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No, in no way is he using me---what for? Lol, I'm broke, pregnant and have nothing to give him except love. I know his words are true. He's never cheated and never given me a doubt about the relationship. He's just happy that I stay by his side and to him, that is more of value than any little money he could get from me.
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  #59  
Old 09-13-2012, 07:31 AM
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Hes definitely not using me. All he asks is that i write him when i can (he gets a letter almost every day lol) and occasionally some pics. I sent him like $30 while he was in county and he FLIPPED out, saying i should have spent that money on the girls and not to ever send him money again. So... I give it to his mom to send to him lol.
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  #60  
Old 09-13-2012, 03:37 PM
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YESS! lol im just kidding No! But honestly it has crossed my mind a tine or two. But he understands if I can't do something he is more appreciative of the letters and pictures of his son.
But honestly you do stupid things for love example A jumping off a sinking boat into cold @s$ water lol kinda how I reference our relationship on both parts!
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  #61  
Old 09-13-2012, 03:55 PM
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Is he using me? Can't say it hasnt crossed my mind. But do I honestly think he is? No. I put my self in his position...would I want $ for more satisfying food opposed to the crap they feed them? Sure I would! I think anyone in their right mind would. Now I wont sit here and say he gets mad when I send him money, because really...who am I kidding? Maybe concerned that I'm not going without in order to send him $....maybe. After all he is a "man" and is by far a saint hence the whole reason he's in prison in the first place. I don't think I'm being used, but if I every truly did...I'd be G-O-N-E!!
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  #62  
Old 09-13-2012, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nieves915
Does he love me yes, has he cheated, not to my knowledge, but i wont ever say that he never would, not that i doubt him but because crow doesnt taste so good. Is he using me for money, no because he gets mad when i put money on his books and asked me only to put money on the phone so we can talk.
i trust my husband, but i wont ever put my whole trust in any man. we have a strong bond, and we worry about today,, not tomorrow each day,
My husband always pays attention to me, wherever we go together I get the royal treatment..
I love my baby, and he loves me, but all relationships have thier issues, ups and downs, and I wont sit here and say that he is perfect or that I am, im trusting God, that is the only man I truely trust.... His will be done,.
Love the way you put that!!!
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  #63  
Old 09-17-2012, 09:46 PM
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Amen to that, Nieves915..GOD needs to be at the center of everything, HE will never lead you down the wrong path
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  #64  
Old 09-25-2012, 06:10 AM
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He barely asks for anything. When he does its toothpaste, soap, or Internet info, magazines, etc. He's never, ever asked for $$$. I love the way things are. He puts my needs before his, that's how I know it's real.
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  #65  
Old 09-27-2012, 01:35 AM
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No. Hes not using me. I know this because i dont allow people to use me. Do i send him money? Sure. Do i pay for phone calls? I Do. But i do what i do out of love. I call it our 'date' money. Cheesy but letters and phone calls are our dates! The only thing he is constantly asking for is pictures which i dont mind. Oh, and he asked me tonight to google a medication the Doc insisted putting him on, hes curious as to what the side effects are. Big deal? Not in the least.

I know he genuinly cares, i can tell by the way he speaks to me. Not to mention his fair share of doing for us and his silly surprises (: We both give an equal amount. He loves me, i love him, its a pretty beautiful thing that we've got. Have i ever thought he was playing with my emotions? No, he has invested far too much. Its the little things he says and does that make me feel this is solid. I love this man to infinity and beyond and thats really all i need to clarify my relationship with him.
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  #66  
Old 09-27-2012, 04:19 AM
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It NEVER ever crosses my mind that he might me using me because I know that he isn't.

We we're together before all of this happened and even then we had a very solid faithful relationship! In fact I think we've only had one argument in all the time we've been together. We would have had more because I'm quite highly strung but he doesnt take me on lol.

Since he's been in he's sent me quite a bit of money, well he gave me what was left in his account from his last paycheck, which really helped with going to visit and so on. So yea I KNOW that he isn't a user
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  #67  
Old 10-15-2012, 09:39 AM
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Definitely not..
(:
I know that crazy man loves me...
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  #68  
Old 10-15-2012, 10:12 AM
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I guess that it's hard to say for sure - all we can do is trust that the things that they say are true. My man doesn't really ask a lot for anything usually just when he is desperate and I send him money only two or three times a year - birthday and Christmas and then maybe one more time. He says the right things but then he is a thousand plus miles away on the other side of the world so I would be lying if I said categorically that I was totally sure!
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  #69  
Old 10-15-2012, 10:53 AM
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if you have to question whether or not your man is using you, then you already know the answer.
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  #70  
Old 10-24-2012, 09:49 AM
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Default MWI and I know he isnt using me

He never asks for anything. Money, or anything. We have been together 4 years. I have met his whole family, he has introduced me as his wife. I tell him to let me kn when he is low on commissary and if I have i send something, if not he doesnt care, he tells me to take care of me and the kids first. He has asked his aunt (after me getting her address 2 months ago) to help. She has started sending me $100 money orders to send to him thru Jpay. He tells me that if I need anything to take it from that bfr sending it to him. He is due to be transferred any day and he knows that he cant take his hygiene and the like with him and that he will need to buy new things at a diff unit,aunt sent me $100 last week for him, he wanst me to see him this weekend (4 hours away) he I told him i cant afford it he told me to use that $100 and come see him bc he misses me and my daughter I said but baby you will need it for commissary if u are moved, he said I can do without baby, i want to see you and my daughter bfr i am moved somewhr and u arent ever able to see me bfr release. I told him ill try and spend wisely and eat cheap so i can send him whats may be left over, he told me not to do that, he told me to make sure we eat good and have plenty of snacks on the road,etc. He is so good to me, always sending us gifts and such.

Last edited by yellowboysgirl; 10-24-2012 at 09:50 AM.. Reason: typos
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  #71  
Old 10-24-2012, 10:03 AM
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i cant talk for other but i do feel sad for the ones who are being abused in this way . For us i know that my loves me and is with me for love end off . He sends me money even when i don't ask and when he ask's me for money ( i have a better chance of becoming queen of England ) its because he needs it , i volunteer the amount he never demands anything , often if i have bills or things to do for our son i do that first i meet our needs first i have money in saving accounts and i NEVER take from my child and he would not have it any other way . our biggest bill is the phone even thou i set up local number we often cant get enough of each other and spend a lot of money on that , we have fights but we make up and make an effort to work on issues Honesty is a key for us he tells me his true feeling and me to and we make a good team . if any woman ever has the slight inclination she is being used or abused she should never stay in that relationship she must leave because she is worth so much more and there wonderful men out there that will treat her like the queen she is . that's why i love my man he treats me with absolute loving respect and dignity how every woman deserve to be treated .
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  #72  
Old 10-24-2012, 10:04 AM
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Ok so here's my story I ment my baby through a friend of mine have never met him person until this weekend it's been a year and he also has never asked me for money and the money I do send him is for him to call me and email me so I'm spending it on myself I know he loves me and has changed my life in so many ways so ya I am in love with a man I have never met I took his mom out to dinner and ever since then me and his mom are really close we talk everyday and give me lots of advice I love him and his entire family he has a year left at McCreary and then comes to Iowa I am waiting this whole time with him because I know he is my best friend and soul mate
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  #73  
Old 10-24-2012, 12:21 PM
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Nope.. I know my baby loves me. He never asks me for anything.. I put money on his books because I WANT to... I want to make sure my babe for one has $$ to email,call, write letters to me cause we both need that. I also send him money cause I want my baby to be able to get personal things he needs. He works too.. so he doesnt need that much.. its a personal choice.. cause I am here for him now when he doesnt have much control over things, and he is there for me completeley on the outside. He treats me like a queen and I treat him like a king.. Although he is not the father of my kids.. he has been there for us before he went in.. so I know he loves me, my turn to be there for him... i love my baby.. forever and ever!!little less than 3 years.. my man is back home..
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  #74  
Old 10-24-2012, 06:32 PM
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My man has never asked me for anything. I sent him something once and he promised I'd never send it again, that he is happy with what he has, that he can live with every little in Prison. He's always been good about never asking me for things, last week he asked me to print a page from the internet from him (which was allowed by the prison) and he said at the end, Babe if you feel like I'm asking too much don't worry about printing the page. He's been so good to me.
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  #75  
Old 10-25-2012, 12:45 PM
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I'mma make this as short as possible!
Yes! We use each other.
I used to send him money and when I was down and going through a bad time he paid my rent for 4 months.
I guess you can apply the old saying
"You can use me but don't abuse me."
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