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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Are you faithful to your man?
yes 1,481 92.50%
no 65 4.06%
would rather not say 55 3.44%
Voters: 1601. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 06-21-2009, 11:10 PM
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MY baby has been down for 26 yrs. We have never had the sexual well, physical part of our relationship! But I tell you this, my man said that he would be the last man that I would ever be with and you know what? He"s right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I prayed for this type of relationship. Long and hard! One where my man would love me for me and let me love him for him without the physical demands! Don"t get it twisted! I LOVE SEX! But, I love lovemaking much better! So, staying faithful is simply, part of my vocabulary!

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  #102  
Old 06-22-2009, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!
He's the air I breath...as Keyshia Cole say's "I want hurt you, I'm down for u baby..." I love my man and I would never hurt him, the things that keeps me going is his letters and phone calls. My baby has to next year, that's what I'm hopeing for, were still going threw court and stuff. But since he been locked up, he told me that I'm human, and if I need to go out and be wit another man, he understands and if so all he ask if the guy would strap up, but of course he knows that I'm not going anywere..I love him to much to hurt him or have him wondering if I did sleep with somone. But if u decide that u want to be with someone, don't tell him. Some things are left unsaid. But if u can also ask him and see what he says...but don't ask him in so many words....
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  #103  
Old 06-22-2009, 10:53 AM
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Faithful, 100%, we have 4 years down and we have a little over 4 to go. Being faithful is the easy part, handling to daily stresses of the family seems to be much harder.
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  #104  
Old 06-22-2009, 07:58 PM
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Ive only got 3 years to wait. Ha! Only!!! But actually it hasn't been that hard. I think sex is like a drug, and I haven't had it for so long that my body has it all out of its system. Again, HA. But I thinks its a mind thing. I have cheated on a BF before, in like high school. And I remember the guilt killing me!! I don't want to live threw that again. Plus, I can't be with someone knowing Id rather be with someone else. I do miss being touched thou. Hugs, kisses, someone just touching my back. When someone does touch me now, I flinch like I have been an abused child.

The way I get threw the times when i am really missing some love. I think about my guy, write him a letter of what I am doing, or what I want to do to him. I take sexy pictures. I pull out my friend "The Bullet" and get to it. But other then that.... maybe a massage would help to just so I can feel the healing powers of human touch again.
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  #105  
Old 06-22-2009, 08:06 PM
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I am in my second round of my man being gone. The first time he was gone for 22 months-I never felt the urge to cheat on him. I knew when he got home we would be able to share the special intimate moments-together. Now he just pleaded guilty and is looking at 20 to life in a federal prison. At first it is hard-not to be faithful-but just being away from them and the physical touches, but I agree with everyone else, it does get easier and it is a mindset that you have to have. If you do cheat It will stress the relationship. more than likely you will regret the decision and it will make you feel worse and the situation much harder.
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  #106  
Old 07-08-2009, 12:28 AM
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Well, although I agree with most of what everyone has said I am one that has cheated.....I went looking for someone else to move on with, I didn't think I wanted to hold it down for 10 years w/ such an uncertainty when he did get out. I got with someone and was with them for a short time and even got pregnant. We broke up and my husband knows it ALL. He was hurt most def. but also very understanding and since then we have had a stronger relationship. My situation is a little diff. though becuase we had split up before he got locked up and was planning a divorce. I am no longer out looking for someone else but for me my options are always open, however, when it comes to sex I would rather either wait for someone to completely sweep me off my feet or for my husband to come home.
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  #107  
Old 07-08-2009, 02:54 AM
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yep.. I'm faithful to my man.. It's easy cuz I don't wanna sleep with anybody but him
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  #108  
Old 07-08-2009, 05:30 AM
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Yup im faithful to my man because hes the only one i wanna be with, i know people say its ok to glance at other people, but to be honest, i dont even do that anymore!
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  #109  
Old 07-08-2009, 07:54 AM
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It is a whole lot easier than you are making it seem. Of course there are times when you get lonely we all do. But I am speaking from experience my husband has been gone 17 months and we have 6 more yrs before he is parole eligible. He has been locked up once before and I did mess up once and I told him about it. But afterwards it was not worth it at all. My love for my husband is so great and afterwards it was not worth it physically or emotionally because it wasn't with whom I wanted and it caused my husband to have trust issues for a while. Girl wait it out, you will be fine. And stop looking at it like 2 yrs. Like others have said take it one day at a time and you will be fine. Don't jeopordize your marriage it is no not worht it in the end.
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  #110  
Old 07-08-2009, 09:51 AM
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I dont cheat because there isn't another dude that can put it down like my dude so what would be the point?
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  #111  
Old 07-08-2009, 04:26 PM
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I agree with the lady who said you are making it a lot harder than it really is. In my case, we had such an awesome sex life, that I have no interest in even seeking out another man at this point. It does get hard though, but I recommend some good porn and some good toys.
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  #112  
Old 07-08-2009, 11:04 PM
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If you would asked me this question 4 years ago I would have said "YES" its possible. The thought of being with another man was unbearable. My husband and I have been together since I was 13 and he was 14 yrs old! We had our first daughter at 15 and 16 and where married at 17. For the most part we where happy! And we did and still Love each other very much. When he turned 18 he though he was a man and began to get into trouble and he did cheat on me! When I found out I was so hurt and I cried for days, and I thought that I could never forgive him. I left him and later found out that I was pregnant! He begged me to come back but I couldn't. He went to court got sentenced. Of course I was there for him, I guess you could we where back together even though neither one of us asked the other. 3 1 /2 years ago I slept with another man and got pregnant! I was Horrified and ashamed for cheating on my husband! I had to break down and tell him, of course he was hurt, but he said I love you and I know that it is hard for you and that you get lonely, but please don't like to me, if your seeing someone tell me and I will let you live your life, you have sacrificed so much for me. I told him its not serious and its nothing like you think. My husband then told me okay, I will take the baby as my own. I don't hate you, if I would have thought twice and put you first I would not be in here and you would have not done what you did. We left it at that and we never talked about it again. Since then I have been faithful and I know that I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage again! We where young and broke each others hearts.But when you love someone anything is possible. Yes it can be lonely, but the thought of losing the one you love forever will scare you straight! And if its meant to be then nothing will get in your way.He has 1 more year left, we write at least 3 times a week and me and my girls visit him every 3 months.
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  #113  
Old 07-09-2009, 01:14 PM
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I would never cheat on my man when your with your soul mate there shouldn't be anyone else ever.
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  #114  
Old 07-09-2009, 01:14 PM
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Like everyone, I too believe that if you truely love someone one then no matter what you'l waiti for them..I've been doing this for about 3 longggg years and stayed faithful 100%
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  #115  
Old 07-22-2009, 12:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!
2 years is NOT a long time to wait. Keep yourself busy.. with the kids, a new hobby, join a gym, committ to running or excersing.. anything. Get involved in a church and stay busy. Take the 2 years to get EVERY aspect of your life together to be a better you for him and to make your lives easier when he comes home. Visit an adult toy store and come up with key words that only you and he know to let him know that you are "exercising" while talking to him on the phone. If you must occupy your ego or mental mind... go online... create an alternate, fictional personality and talk to ppl that way.. no face to face contact. OR ... play online games like uno, spades, checkers... whatever!

In other words.... STAY BUSY!
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  #116  
Old 07-26-2009, 10:21 AM
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I have looked and read this particular thread over and over again and couldn't decide if it was something I wanted to talk about until recently.First off I think that I am the most faithful woman in the world I have never in my life cheated on anyone and I mean anyone and when I am single I have stayed without sex for more than a year if I was not in a serious relationship.My daughter's father and I just got married last month he has been gone 2 years so far and might be up for parole in Jan but lately I have been thinking of what it would be if he had to wait for me and I know for sure that he would not deprive himself physically or mentally at all as most of these men wouldn't either.I see all these post about the thought of other men makes them want to puke and so forth but is this really true ladies because at the end of the day we are all human and we all need that sexual part of life and it is really not fair to us as grown,professional,intelligent and beautiful women to be subjected to the BS prison sentences that our men have instilled upon us, and I have seen so many women in past threads that have stated the same things of no i will not cheat and the thought of being with someone else makes them sick and then once that man comes home we see those same women in the forum"When the relationship is over" telling about how the man came home and went south.So to the answer the original question no I will not cheat just to cheat for random sex that's not my style but if I do stumble upon and oppurtunity of a potentially good man I think I might take it. Sorry Just being honest.
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  #117  
Old 07-26-2009, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by NycCutie View Post
I have looked and read this particular thread over and over again and couldn't decide if it was something I wanted to talk about until recently.First off I think that I am the most faithful woman in the world I have never in my life cheated on anyone and I mean anyone and when I am single I have stayed without sex for more than a year if I was not in a serious relationship.My daughter's father and I just got married last month he has been gone 2 years so far and might be up for parole in Jan but lately I have been thinking of what it would be if he had to wait for me and I know for sure that he would not deprive himself physically or mentally at all as most of these men wouldn't either.I see all these post about the thought of other men makes them want to puke and so forth but is this really true ladies because at the end of the day we are all human and we all need that sexual part of life and it is really not fair to us as grown,professional,intelligent and beautiful women to be subjected to the BS prison sentences that our men have instilled upon us, and I have seen so many women in past threads that have stated the same things of no i will not cheat and the thought of being with someone else makes them sick and then once that man comes home we see those same women in the forum"When the relationship is over" telling about how the man came home and went south.So to the answer the original question no I will not cheat just to cheat for random sex that's not my style but if I do stumble upon and oppurtunity of a potentially good man I think I might take it. Sorry Just being honest.
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  #118  
Old 07-26-2009, 11:47 AM
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i like many others say i will not cheat ...our realationship started out as friends and i fell in love with him many years ago but i was to affraid of losing the part of him i did have...it took 8 years but we finally told each other that we were in love with each other and married may of 08....so i have known what it is to be without him ...and i never want to be there again....so in short i can honestly say i will never cheat
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  #119  
Old 07-26-2009, 12:36 PM
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Hello Ladies,

First and foremost, I have to say that after reading all these posts about how women are faithful or not it brings thought into my head about everything that they talk about in other posts and things that there profiles say! none the less, I aint mad at cha! it is what it is! everyone regardless of there circumstance has the ability to do what they want, and in the end that is what they are going to do! it doesn't matter what you may say on here or to your friends we can always seem to look for ourselves in the end... I can only speak for my self when it comes to my faithfulness to my husband, when we were younger there wasnt so much of a level of understanding simply cause we were very young I think the first time he went to state I was around 17 so he just asked me to correspond and live my life, he not once asked me to wait cause I was so young, about 2 years later I couldn't take the life anymore I had been with him since I was 14 so at 19 I figured that I was done, and boy was I wrong although I let him go for about 5 years I found myself 5 years later bam smack in front of him and NOTHING had CHANGED! thru those 5 years I had relationships that ended in complete dissatisfaction, I realized that us running into one another was not by luck it was our 2nd chance to make things right, and although this is the longest term he has done our love is still continuing to grow and grow, I know us women all have needs but then if you think about it so do they! regardless of them being where they are at... or why they got there...Prison Wives are one of a kind and I am very grateful for my husband no matter where he might find himself... I will just leave it at this, although I as a women may have my needs, my needs to the physical are not stronger then my love for him! && Ill be damned if after all this time, to blow it off for some TLC from another man! regardless of what may happen when he comes home! the life of a prison wife is a hard one I will give you that, but I personally think if I want my relationship to work I have to give it my all and because if he was out here, that is exactly what I would be doing what makes him being in prison any different! You get back what you give out , not just in relationship but just life in general! So as for me although the 5 years have been hard and not easy at all... I love him more and more everyday and wouldnt be able to do that to him more of a respect standard & the love we have together! like my hubby tells me " there's no I in Teamwork, if we want this to work we BOTH have to make it happen, & if we can make through this we can make it through anything... with God all things are possible!"

Sorry ladies I better get off my soapbox now cause man I couldn't stop typing!
again I can only speak for my self and didnt mean to offend anyone at all... These kind of relationship aren't for everyone... and you will see for yourselves now or later how you feel about that! none the less best of luck to all of you and your loved one!
God Bless & know that if God brought you to it, He will see you though it!!!

"The Dream That Seems Impossible Is The Only One That Survives"

Last edited by Young'z_Ladii; 07-26-2009 at 12:52 PM.. Reason: Typo
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  #120  
Old 07-26-2009, 01:25 PM
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i'm right there with you all the way


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Originally Posted by Young'z_Ladii View Post
Hello Ladies,

First and foremost, I have to say that after reading all these posts about how women are faithful or not it brings thought into my head about everything that they talk about in other posts and things that there profiles say! none the less, I aint mad at cha! it is what it is! everyone regardless of there circumstance has the ability to do what they want, and in the end that is what they are going to do! it doesn't matter what you may say on here or to your friends we can always seem to look for ourselves in the end... I can only speak for my self when it comes to my faithfulness to my husband, when we were younger there wasnt so much of a level of understanding simply cause we were very young I think the first time he went to state I was around 17 so he just asked me to correspond and live my life, he not once asked me to wait cause I was so young, about 2 years later I couldn't take the life anymore I had been with him since I was 14 so at 19 I figured that I was done, and boy was I wrong although I let him go for about 5 years I found myself 5 years later bam smack in front of him and NOTHING had CHANGED! thru those 5 years I had relationships that ended in complete dissatisfaction, I realized that us running into one another was not by luck it was our 2nd chance to make things right, and although this is the longest term he has done our love is still continuing to grow and grow, I know us women all have needs but then if you think about it so do they! regardless of them being where they are at... or why they got there...Prison Wives are one of a kind and I am very grateful for my husband no matter where he might find himself... I will just leave it at this, although I as a women may have my needs, my needs to the physical are not stronger then my love for him! && Ill be damned if after all this time, to blow it off for some TLC from another man! regardless of what may happen when he comes home! the life of a prison wife is a hard one I will give you that, but I personally think if I want my relationship to work I have to give it my all and because if he was out here, that is exactly what I would be doing what makes him being in prison any different! You get back what you give out , not just in relationship but just life in general! So as for me although the 5 years have been hard and not easy at all... I love him more and more everyday and wouldnt be able to do that to him more of a respect standard & the love we have together! like my hubby tells me " there's no I in Teamwork, if we want this to work we BOTH have to make it happen, & if we can make through this we can make it through anything... with God all things are possible!"

Sorry ladies I better get off my soapbox now cause man I couldn't stop typing!
again I can only speak for my self and didnt mean to offend anyone at all... These kind of relationship aren't for everyone... and you will see for yourselves now or later how you feel about that! none the less best of luck to all of you and your loved one!
God Bless & know that if God brought you to it, He will see you though it!!!

"The Dream That Seems Impossible Is The Only One That Survives"
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  #121  
Old 07-26-2009, 03:57 PM
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I'm very faithful and he know how I use to be years ago I would cheat when I thought he was cheating. Now that were all past that I am so very faithful to him until I feel like I'm doing time with him.
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  #122  
Old 07-27-2009, 08:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!

honey it's two years go buy yourself a toy and think him
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  #123  
Old 07-27-2009, 08:35 PM
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mine will only be gone a year at most...only you can answer this one listen to your heart and you will know


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honey it's two years go buy yourself a toy and think him
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  #124  
Old 07-28-2009, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!

i cheated one time on my man, and i feel absolutely horrible about it; i realized that i do love him with all my heart... and i feel like such a scumbag thast i cheated, i mean we werent that serious at the time i cheated but its still the point, i agree w/ the other ladies .... you will just know... and if you do go threw and make a mistake like i did, theni think you will find out if you can or can not wait.. i know now i have to wait the 3 years for my man good luck girl
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  #125  
Old 08-08-2009, 07:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Chellie View Post
Exactly how I fell 100%. I couldn't have said it better myself. Staying faithful is actually the easiest part of all of this for me. I can make my own a$$ wet, really don't need a man that don't give a crap about me to do it. Nobody can make love to me the way my baby can...so why settle for less when I can just wait for the best.

LOL!! Chellie is a trip!
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