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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Are you faithful to your man?
yes 1,481 92.50%
no 65 4.06%
would rather not say 55 3.44%
Voters: 1601. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 03-16-2009, 05:57 PM
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Thank u so must for these posts guys i was really worrying i thought i was weird for not wanting it from anyone but him i don't even look at other guys the same way since i got with him but everyone keeps tellin me i will never make it but i think i can
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  #77  
Old 03-17-2009, 12:55 AM
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My man has actually given me the "okay" to mess around with just two rules. #1) I can't have unprotected sex and 2) I can't get pregnant. Oh yeah, he also wants me to give up all other guys Jan. 1st of the year he is to come home, which is next year! Recently though he seems to be getting a little more jealous and asked that I give up sex a whole full year at least before he comes home. At first I will admit, I took advantage of our agreement but here more recently for me as well, I'm just not feeling being with another man. It's just wrong on many levels but especially when I lay down with another man but can only think about mine. I take nearly nude pics. for him, write him freaky letters, and masterbate when needed and tell him about it!
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  #78  
Old 03-31-2009, 02:49 PM
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I'm in a similar situation as sugargirl. I reconnected with him after many years.

After a few letters I knew that question was coming, 'Will you be faithful to me?'. I dreaded it and it finally was asked. Considering we weren't together when he got locked up, I told him it was extremely selfish of him to ask that of me. I didn't do the crime, why should I punish myself? With all that said, I committed myself to him because over the past few months I've realized that I don't want to be with anyone else...I only hope this feeling lasts for 9 more years. (Seriously, Congress needs to push for parole for Federal inmates!) I never make promises I can't keep and I know he's wanting me to promise him I'll remain faithful.
He doesn't mind me having sex with females, he's more concerned about another man getting withing 5ft of me.

I'm sure I can wait. At this point he's all I desire.
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  #79  
Old 04-21-2009, 08:59 AM
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I also reconnected with my man after a few years and he just asked me to be by his side in the beginning because he was doing this bid alone and we have always had this love for each other I agreed but he said he wouldn't ask me to stop "doing my thang" out here because, well just because, maybe because of our past and him cheating and why should I suffer because he is in prison and he was with someone else when he went in. At the time I wasnt dating anyone serious and he asked that if I could leave that spot open for him until 2010 but he didnt feel right asking me not to get some luvin' but that he hoped one day I would come around and want to be commited in that wat and he was right after about 9 months I decided I am going to give it the ole' college try....lol. It is a lil hard for me because I dont equate sex with love. I have sex for physical pleasure I never feel cheap or used after sex I feel ummmm good and better. I would have never had sex until I was 24 if I waited for love and then never again until now at 34. I am not "emotional" like that. I am kinda like a guy so my man says...lol Think ummm Samantha from Sex in the city. But hon you have to do what feels right to you and speak to him about it. Every case is different. Talk it through with him. I know its hard it is even hard for my man and I even though we are so open with each other I still get all nervous when we approach this topic.
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  #80  
Old 04-22-2009, 06:06 PM
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Faithfulness is not hard, but if you focus too much on what your missing out on you will slip. I keep myself busy with work, I come home right after and the first thing i do is shower then plop myself into my bed to write him a letter., its a nightly ritual. Now while we were divorced ( i divorced him in dec, got back with him in late Jan) i did go out, i hung out with friends, but the funny thing is that he was always on my mind. he is my heart, seriously ...
He tells me to send him sexy pictures and i do but it takes me a long time cuz i tell him that my mind has blocked out sex, thoughts of kisses, all of that.,,, so on saturdays he has to get me riled up so i can take those pictures then by saturday night when i go to bed im over the need again.............
Loving someone with all your heart does not mean you wont stray,,,, lets get this right,,, you still have to work on faithfulness, we are all human, and humans want human touch, and comfort... people dont cheat cuz thier not in love with thier partners , not all the time,,,,,,,,,
so staying faithful is work.,,,,,,,,,,,, but it sooo dooable......... just dont put yourself in situations where you might slip up............ and if you do,,,, get up brush yourself off and learn from that mistake. Im not condoning cheating, so lets no go there, but im saying dont beat yourself up,,,,
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  #81  
Old 04-22-2009, 06:18 PM
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It's really not that bad. Before I met Luke I had taken a vow of celibacy on my own accord. I had made the decision for myself because I wanted to focus on what is really important in life. After meeting Luke it only gave me more of a reason. Now if for some reason I ever wanted to stray and have an affair, it is completely okay. Luke and I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. He does not think I should serve a prison sentence with him, and he says if he were in my situation he would not blame me. Now with that being said, I have yet to stray and have no intentions of doing so. I love him...that's the bottom-line. When we finally get to see each other it will be well worth the wait
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  #82  
Old 04-23-2009, 01:31 PM
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i have more than one perception to this thread id like to share.this is very serious to me and i pray if anyone can realize to get out then please do so.
me and jamie were together for 5 yrs before he went in on a 18 year charge-down south.i cntinued to use crack until a year later.i called a rehab center and checked myself in.jamie was very supportive and never doubted i could stop.later,i relocated to minnesota b/c i desperately needed the change of environment. it wasnt a hard decision b/c i knew adn accepted there was no other way.
when i got up here,i met a friend of my siblings.that relationship for companionship turned very threatening.he didnt have the stability to accept that one day jamie will come home.he fantasized about us 3 living together and made it his mission to make his dream a reality.we didnt live together but i had to leave my home to feel safe.after 5 safehouses i got away from him.i am now celibate and id have it no other way.its much to risky for a prisonwife to chance whether a companion can handle that knowledge.b/c for a few weeks all was understood.when his feelings became involved the whole scenario changed-for teh worse i might add.thats how i stay faithful to jamie.
im too afraid that i could have been either of those women.having survived much violence from men in my life,it dawned on me that im blessed.all of that violence made no sense yet it existed.on december 29,2008 my best friend was stabbed and beaten with a skillet by her baby daddy.she was in ICU for a long time.too close to home.ironically wed joke that he was like the buddy i had.ironically,i was having nightmares that he found me and murdered my whole family b/c of his emotional instability.my moms later told me it was a premonition but i had no idea who.i thought it was warning me to be careful.
ive been off for two days and just found out that the mcdonalds up from my job had a homicide.the ex guy shot and killed the ex girlfriend for whatever reason.ladies,i had to step back and look at my participation in every REACTION that comes from my action.i couldnt help but fear that ironically id be murdered like all these women ive lived so close to but never knew.it hurt me to think that id survived so much and jamie was released yet i had been killed by a jealous buddy.
i know thats alot and im sorry.i didnt want to focus on the buddy only sparingly.the point is IF ITS WORTH IT YOULL WAIT AND NOT GET TAKEN OUT BY A THIRD PARTY WHO DIDNT LIKE THE SCRIPT.
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  #83  
Old 04-23-2009, 02:09 PM
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Even though it has only been 6 months that hes been gone, it is not hard for me at all. I dont even THINK about it...all I am worried about is taking care of our daughters, and finishing school so that when he comes home we can better our lives. He is going to be gone for a while, at least 5 years...*Unless God REALLY blesses us..* and I am not worried about slipping up or anything. All i want is my hunny, its not worth it to me....
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  #84  
Old 04-27-2009, 02:24 PM
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if you really love him you will wait for him I've waited for him 9 months once and now again 7 months he gets outs in 5 months and 2 days
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  #85  
Old 04-27-2009, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chellie View Post
Exactly how I fell 100%. I couldn't have said it better myself. Staying faithful is actually the easiest part of all of this for me. I can make my own a$$ wet, really don't need a man that don't give a crap about me to do it. Nobody can make love to me the way my baby can...so why settle for less when I can just wait for the best.

This is where I stand too. Bieng faithful to Ramon is literally the easiest part. I've loved him and known he was the man I wanted to marry since I was 17 years old. I will ride or die for him, period. Nobody else in this world can make me feel the way he can in ALL aspects, be it physically, emotionally, mentally...
Why waste my time on someone else when the most amazing, sexiest man I have ever seen will be home soon enough?
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  #86  
Old 04-27-2009, 03:44 PM
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I pretty much totally agree with you, staying faithful kind of just comes naturally to me. I know that no one else can really compete with my man so why bother. Of course my boyfriend only has to do 2 years, so that makes it a little easier too, but I know I'd be able to wait longer if I had to, he's just worth it.

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  #87  
Old 04-28-2009, 08:34 AM
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I THINK IF YOU TRULY LOVE UNCONDITONALLY WITHOUT QUESTION YOU CAN WAIT AND THE TIME IS WORTH WHILE,cuz when you love someone lovemaking without him is'nt lovemaking,i know a few of my friends that have committed themselves to waiting and other's who could'nt wait not cuz they could'nt they just needed that comfort of a man holding them and the sex was just that sex.
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  #88  
Old 04-28-2009, 03:24 PM
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I agree it is hard this is my first bid and boo did a year already we have 2 to go,I just stay busy with school, the kids, I do have guy friends and I am a natural flirt but that's as far as it goes. My man loves and trust me enough with his heart and i don't intend to break it or not cherish it. I guess when you have what your heart desires you don't want anything else, and that's what Nick is for me (everything in a man my heart desires).
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  #89  
Old 05-12-2009, 03:59 PM
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i would never ever cheat on my man, the wait will be all worth it when he gets out!!!!!!
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  #90  
Old 05-12-2009, 06:09 PM
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I've made it to 4yrs now. It's been a lonely road. But I just don't put myself in the position to where there will be a possibly that I'd meet someone because we all know we are very vulnerable right now. I love my husband dearly and respect myself toooo much to even think of stepping out on him. Because not only would that be disrepecting my marriage but more so MYSELF.
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  #91  
Old 05-13-2009, 11:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonzo's Lady... View Post
and a couple of flicks we made together years ago helps as does the thought of what it will be like once he comes home.
MAAAANNNN...I sure do wish I had some of those!!!
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  #92  
Old 05-13-2009, 12:40 PM
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just 2 years left? honey give me that bid...lets let our men trade time left bekuz I sure as heck can stay faithful for 2 yrs....thats nothing! I done 4 and a half with him. Listen what do u rather 2 years of waiting or a lifetime after that without him thats your choice only you can do what u want.
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  #93  
Old 05-19-2009, 01:40 PM
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of course I am faithful... if its time to go its time to go not to cheat on him and break his heart.
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  #94  
Old 05-19-2009, 01:47 PM
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I have stayed faithful and it has not been a bad road.I do get lonely but I just get out my notebook and start writing him so that helps me alot!
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  #95  
Old 05-19-2009, 01:57 PM
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I stay faithful because it's truly what I want to do. I truly love this man and I can't imagine being with anyone else because my heart belongs to him. It's been 7months so far and he'll be home in November. At first, I didn't think I could do it. But the truth is, I love this man! I didn't think I could do it, but honestly it's not that hard for me. Honestly, as much as I love him, I don't know if I could wait 20yrs.
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  #96  
Old 05-20-2009, 12:15 PM
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My man has been gone for about 2 years and I still have another 2 years to go. I don't find it hard at all to stay faithfull to him while he is gone... I stay really busy with our kids and I also go to college full time but that is why I find staying faithfull so easy it's because I know that I only want to be with my husband and no one else and if It's not him making love to me then it won't be as great so why waste my time with any one or anything else when I can wait and have what I really want and I know that it is well worth the wait
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  #97  
Old 05-21-2009, 07:16 AM
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My baby has been gone for 2 year and has a max of 7 years. We have been through it all. Im not one to frount yes it is hard to be faithful to a man that is not around. I have been faithful to the love of my life through out this bid and i will always be faithful. Heres and FYI we are together to years as well and NO i did MWI we were together 2 weeks as a couple befroe he went in. What we share is not worth loseing for a quick thrill.
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  #98  
Old 06-21-2009, 08:41 AM
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In the end it is going to be something you can be proud of. It's more of a mind over body issue, at least to me. There have been other men interested in me, but the respect and love I have for Eddie outwieghs anything else. I'm proud that I'm able to wait for him and through that I know that he's more important to me than a quick fling. I'm worth more and so is he.
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  #99  
Old 06-21-2009, 11:02 AM
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i have made it 3 years with no trouble, if u love him like you say you do it will come easily. take this time to learn and grow with him. you will thank yourself in the end
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Old 06-21-2009, 09:14 PM
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i've done 2 yrs and 2 months so far, with 10 yr and 11 months to go... so far so good.. I think about him and sex with HIM alot. but the thought of someone else, it doesnt intrest me and if he found out it wouldnt be worth it... i love him 2 much
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