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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Are you faithful to your man?
yes 1,495 92.51%
no 66 4.08%
would rather not say 55 3.40%
Voters: 1616. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 02-24-2009, 06:04 PM
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Default Staying faithful

for me, it s very easy to be faithful to my husband. Like you said, to cheat is not even an option and is a sure fire way to end your relationship. I have my faith in my jehovah god to keep me strong, i stay busy with our children, work and school. Basically, i just continue to live my life. I write him, visit him and talk to him all the time on the phone. I incorporate him into every aspect of our lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a long time. What can you do? It bothers me bc i dont know if i can but i dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but i dont think that i can wait for him to come home!
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  #52  
Old 02-24-2009, 06:52 PM
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I will admit, when this first began, I thought mainly of the sexual aspects and how hard it would be to wait for so long and all that... Somehow I kept myself together enough to get past that point, and now, honestly, sex is the easiest thing to deal with when it comes to loving an inmate. I frequently have anxiety attacks, because if something isnt going right, I want him to be there to calm me down, but he cant. Sometimes I feel like the next 6 months is going to be forever, and other days I think its a breeze..... With all the emotional ups and downs that come along with this situation your mind loses focus on sex. Or at least mine does! I will say that our first contact visit made me think about our sex life basically non stop for a few days, but now I'm back to normal. As long as you keep that intimacy in your life with the one you love, it becomes pretty simple to wait! Also, you have to train your mind to stay on track, if you have any doubts about your relationship, what could happen when he gets out, whether he will uphold his end of the bargain, you could back peddle. Make sure to keep your eye on the prize, you know why you are staying around....and I'm sure if you look deep down into it, you arent sticking around strictly because of sex!
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  #53  
Old 02-24-2009, 07:00 PM
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It is hard, but I know that a moment of good time is not worth the love we are going to share forever.
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  #54  
Old 02-24-2009, 07:10 PM
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Default I've been with to many losers in my life

And inspite of my mans mistake he still is a catch as far as I'm concerned.Besides we'll be having a brand new baby in May,and I'm just really looking forward to us being settled with our family.
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  #55  
Old 02-25-2009, 07:58 AM
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i wait because like most have said ...the thought of sexing anyone else disgusts me. its not the act of sex i miss but sex with HIM. i really wish he was home but i can wait
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  #56  
Old 02-25-2009, 09:38 AM
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I voted on the poll and didn't leave a reply when I did but I came across this again and I have to give you props for ADMITTING that you are not sure you can wait. I am sure alot of women feel the same but are afraid to admit it so I gotta give it to ya girl! I have been waiting for 8 years now so it's become second nature almost so I appreciate the emotional bond that grows stronger everyday so that the physical will be even more incredible when he comes out so I won't cheat and miss out on that!
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  #57  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:25 AM
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No I would never think to cheat on my husband. Yes I miss him and everything that comes along with our relationship, but we now have a stronger bond than before. We have a lot of time to talk during visits and we have realized that our relationship can withstand anything if we keep comunicating. We have been together for 11 years now, so maybe that is why it seems crazy to even think about cheating. Two years isn't that long if you just take it one day at a time and don't focus on the whole sentence. GOOD LUCK!!
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  #58  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyCougar View Post


I read alot of "poor babies" and "oh my sweeties", but he did the crime and he expects you do to the time with him. Not fair.

If Billy had to do 20 years, I wouldn't ride this train with him. The stress from commissary, letters, no mail days, lockdowns. Not my kind of cookie to chew up and eat. It would be over.
I personally couldn't do it either for a long period of time just from the stress of the situation has nothing to do with sex.

But I will say that I find it refreshing that there are women who can truly wait for their men. This world has became such an evil place, and it is nice to see pure honest patient enduring love.

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  #59  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:20 PM
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to stay faithful is easy if you really love him you will wait...the letters get me through the days when I am really feeling lonley I will sit there and read them and feel so much better..I have to agree keeping yourself busy helps alot
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  #60  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:42 PM
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Staying faithful isn't hard at all when your mind, body, and soul are all with the one you're waiting for and vice versa. Why risk that for a one night stand with someone who won't mean anything to you at all the next day? Think about it. . .
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  #61  
Old 02-26-2009, 01:14 PM
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My husband has been locked up since 2005 and I was 7 mths pregnant when he went in. It will be 4 years in April that he has been gone, but you know something, it takes a strong woman to stand by her man. It has not always been easy, but if you truly love him, you will wait for him. I found that staying away from temptation was the best thing to do. I stopped going out to the clubs and started going out to dinner with friends from work. Just keep yourself focused and with the positive people. It is hard but if you look forward to the future with him, then that should help you to stay by him. Stay strong and love him with all you have.....
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  #62  
Old 02-26-2009, 03:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!
Well for me, its more mental than anything! Yeah, the days get long and the nights are cold and lonely but at the end of the day, I tell myself that this is what I signed up for when I made the choice to stick it out with my boo. Majority of the time I work 10 hour days, so there goes a big chunk of my time and outside of work I stay busy with my family. There are the times when I wish this was all over and thats when I snuggle up with his pictures and re-read his letters and they somewhat comfort me. All in all, I just use this time to better myself and to make sure things are solid and in place for when my man comes home.
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  #63  
Old 02-26-2009, 08:33 PM
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Never an issue! I love him enough to know I wont go there!
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  #64  
Old 02-28-2009, 08:45 AM
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My man has been gone since 10/09/08 and I miss him physically and emotionally.... Its a very hard situation to get use to,but as the others said (piercedkitten) The thought of being with someone else turns me way off(it worded different but I mean the same).I feelno other man can do what my husband can,so I keep that in my head and in no way no matter how hard the lonley feeling or needing sex feeling I stay 100% faithful.......
I cant lose the love my life for a quick fix!!!
I hope in some way my reply answerd ur question with out offending you!!!
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  #65  
Old 02-28-2009, 12:12 PM
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The thought has never entered my mind. It will be a little over 3 years when he comes home. The time has flown by. I choose to marry him and I don't take that lightly, nor does he. I am extremely happy with him not to mention deeply in love!! I'm so preoccupied with him and life, I wouldn't even notice another man trying to hit on me, I'd probably think that guy was just a friendly person.
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  #66  
Old 02-28-2009, 12:30 PM
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I told my prison boyfriend straight out that I won't be faithful and I don't feel bad about it. My situation is a bit different in that this person was an old friend and we weren't together when he went in. I was living in a different city and did not know of his incarceration. He had been in jail 10 years when I found him again. I don't think it is wise for me to put myself in the position of waiting for him 5 more years. I promised to write and visit him frequently but I'm gonna date while he's on the inside unless something drastically changes and I'm not going to lie about. I don't plan on telling him about my dates because the truth is on the table and I don't want to rub it in.
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  #67  
Old 02-28-2009, 04:12 PM
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just the thought of another man touching me make me wanna puke....no one knows the inners of my mind the way michael does....making love with him is more than just sex its meaningfulll...no one else could ever do that for me.
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  #68  
Old 03-04-2009, 09:58 PM
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WELL I CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR MYSELF BUT MY BABYS BEEN GONE FOR 18 MONTHS NOW, WE HAVE 3 MORE TO GO THEN HELL PAROLE OUT (GOD WILLING) AT FIRST I DIDNT THINK I COULD CUZ IM A NYMPHO!!! BUT AS WE STARTED TO WRITE MORE OUR RELATIONSHIP GOT MUCH MORE DEEPER, I FIND THAT HE SATISFIES ME EMOTIONALLY SO WELL, IT MAKES UP FOR THE PHYSICAL PART! AND OF COURSE THERE ARE TOYS OUT THERE THAT ARE SOMTIMES BETTER THAN THE REAL THING!!
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  #69  
Old 03-05-2009, 12:39 AM
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to be honest i cant even imagine cheating . idont get tempted i love him not sex and im gonna be there for him.God will take care of everything if you let him.but try pictering your husbands face and shoot buy a toy if you know what i mean tell him what you want to do and have him tell you . id just offer it up to God especially if you feel real tempted. has your man cheated? is this why you feel you cant be faithful?Do you want to be with your husband ? because cheating even if you dont tell him will ruin it. i guess i should say also im not a real sexual person but im dang sure trustworthyno judgement to you though seriuosly at least you admit it
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  #70  
Old 03-05-2009, 12:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by troubles_baby View Post
just the thought of another man touching me make me wanna puke....no one knows the inners of my mind the way michael does....making love with him is more than just sex its meaningfulll...no one else could ever do that for me.
i feel the same it totally grosses me out ugh just thinking about it yuck
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  #71  
Old 03-05-2009, 07:25 PM
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My baby comes home in 24 mo and it is not hard at all...I just dont think about it and I dont like to find "other" ways...that just makes me MAD!! LOL That physical aspect is not the only thing wonderful about our relationship.
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  #72  
Old 03-06-2009, 02:31 AM
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He's my heart,what else can I do? I must follow my heart & my heart belongs
to him & only to him! I am loyal to my baby 24/7 cuz what else can I do?
I'm so crazy in love!!!
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  #73  
Old 03-06-2009, 12:19 PM
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Its easy for me cuz he's the only man I want, period. But if you really need some ideas I'd suggest buying some AA batteries in a large quantity!! LOL, good luck hun!
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  #74  
Old 03-14-2009, 04:54 PM
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my boyfriend has been gone 2years already come June this year, its been fairly easy for me to stay faithful to him but im just that type of person. when im in love with someone there is no temptation, plus i stay really busy with kids, college, job and just being there to support him (which takes much more of my time and energy than i EVER expected!)...im so busy making this life right for my kids and for him when he comes home, i dont have time for it to get to me
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  #75  
Old 03-16-2009, 03:35 AM
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Wink Angry,Alone, and lost without him....

Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesimmons View Post
Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!
My fiance has been gone 30 months and has a 3-6 years bid. At 36 I never thought I would have to go without sex- EVER..lol But it gives you a bond I can guarentee that will make the sex 100 times better when he gets home. I have toys,movies,ect... Sometimes I get pissed- toys are no substitute for your mans body on yours. Its like recovery if your an addict. One day at a time thing. Some days its harder to go without that intimacy than others. Get through the day being faithful to him and your guilt cant keep you awake at night..
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