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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #26  
Old 07-12-2007, 08:19 AM
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I did see something rather disturbing on my last visit. A couple across from me was very touchy feely...but that's not the bad part. It was so incredibly obvious that he didn't care about her. I don't think he even looked at her once. All her cared about was that some chic was there rubbing on his nuts. Gross... For her, I do believe it's about low self esteem. She was overweight and didn't have much respect for herself. I wanted to stand up and walk over there and punch him in the face. I hate people like that.[/quote]

True....or maybe she was a freak. One of my best friends is like 230lbs and this girl does not let her weight get in the way...she's a freaky ass girl!
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Old 07-12-2007, 08:46 AM
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That is such a bullsh!t statement that we have low self esteem or are less attractive.

Didn't we all have relationships on the outside FIRST. We could have gotten into another one with some guy on the outside again.

How crazy to think this. I've seen beautiful women married to incarcerated men. I've seen intelligent, bright, articulate women married to incarcerated men.

I wish they would stop judging us. All the assumptions are wrong.

Like incarcerated men can't cheat. Please...they can and worst because we don't know who they are writing.
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Old 07-12-2007, 08:58 AM
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I have no problem with self esteem. Even my children and brothers describe me as "hot". I am a bit on the wild side but I'm not one to look for trouble. I don't really care what others think or me or how they describe me, I'm comfortable living in my skin. Finally my man thinks I hung the moon and that's just fine with me!
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  #29  
Old 07-12-2007, 09:21 AM
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People in all kinds of relationships have self-esteem problems. It seems that some folks like to generalise MWI women as being unattractive and lacking self worth.
Personally i dont have problems with self-esteem. Im a confident person beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And my beholder thinks im beautiful.
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  #30  
Old 07-12-2007, 09:52 AM
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1. As in all relationships, sure there are some women who are in mwi that are not the finest thing. What is less attractive, isn't the beauty in the eye of the beholder?
2. Like before, there are soo many persons with self esteem issues, there are bound to be some that do have self esteem issues that write to men/women who are incarcerated.
Looking for trouble, naw, if that were the case then everyone in the world, for the most part, is looking for trouble. When you get into a car you take a chance on having an accident, just like no matter what kind of relationship/friendship you may enter into you are taking a chance. Seeking trouble, no.
Kind heartedness, or curiousity, that would be a guess as to why a "human" would write some one inside the walls.
3. Curiousity, well, that seems like the motivator. Or maybe kindness, to see if you can help in some way. Again, CHANCES, no matter who you speak to on the phone or at a store and so on. Free world men/women play games just like some inmates do.

I would just like to say for the record. I am a smart, attractive women who met my man while he was incarcerated. (I wish I had a scanner I would put some pictures in this post) I am also, in my opinion, above average, and my self esteem is very good. I mean come on, I just refered to myself as above average, and honestly, I am! I have been talking to him for about 2 years. I love him very much, he is not a user, he doesn't ask me for a thing finacial wise, he may ask me to call his Mom and ask when she will be at home for him to call, but other than things like that, no...no money. I do write often, almost daily and talk nearly as much. He pays for the calls.(work release) He also sends money every other visit to pay for the gas for the trip. I realize that I am very blessed to of found a man so self less. I do know that all men/women inside are not like this. But at this point if he were to not be in wr I would do all I could to recieve calls and make visits, and even send money orders. But this is just to let ya know that all m/w inside are not users.
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  #31  
Old 07-12-2007, 05:25 PM
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1. Do you think women who met their men while he was incarcerated, is less attractive than the average woman?

Absolutely not!

2. Do you think that a woman who writes to a man as a penpal has low self esteem and is searching for trouble? Why would any human take the time and write to a man while he's incarcerated?

People with low self esteem do alot of things and some of them may even become involved with incarcerated individuals. The same could be said for people that like to jog or work with numbers or bake great cakes. Another words I feel it is too simplistic to simply say that all women in MWI relationships have low self esteem. I know too many of them personally to believe that to be the case. Having said that of course some do. Some in relationships that have never involved incarceration have low self esteem. The idea is just too broad to fit in a tiny box.

Looking for trouble? That is easy enough to find in the free world, one need not go looking in prisons to find it if that is what they seek.

A great number of people write to inmates because they are kind and compassionate persons. Many write never thinking of entering into a relationship and many never do other than the penpal friendship variety. I admire people who give their time to brighten anothers day.


3. What about the women who met their men from that accidental phone call. Why would you accept a call from a man who is in prison when we all know the games that inmates play with the phone?


Okay this question is weird to me because personally I do not know any other women that have met their man in this fashion other than myself.

My man was in our local county jail waiting to go to prison when he misdialed my number. I had broken up with a scoundrel a few months earlier who occasionally had "child support" issues that landed him in jail a couple of times. When I received the call I did not know who was calling me as at that time the name was not given just that it was a collect call from the county jail (that has since changed and they speak their names). In any case I freely admit that I assumed it was my ex and I had a few choice words for him as I believed he thought that after all the time that had passed between us I would welcome such a call from him.

It turned out to be Sebastian, that was four years ago and as they say part of our history together as our journey continues...

I was leading a wonderful life when I met him, still am when push comes to shove and that is because I am me with or without him but surely he does enhance my life and I feel truly blessed that we found one another regardless of the circumstances.

Life is good,
Patty
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  #32  
Old 07-15-2007, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HotLatinaMILF4U
1. Do you think women who met their men while he was incarcerated, is less attractive than the average woman?

Absolutely not!

2. Do you think that a woman who writes to a man as a penpal has low self esteem and is searching for trouble? Why would any human take the time and write to a man while he's incarcerated?

People with low self esteem do alot of things and some of them may even become involved with incarcerated individuals. The same could be said for people that like to jog or work with numbers or bake great cakes. Another words I feel it is too simplistic to simply say that all women in MWI relationships have low self esteem. I know too many of them personally to believe that to be the case. Having said that of course some do. Some in relationships that have never involved incarceration have low self esteem. The idea is just too broad to fit in a tiny box.

Looking for trouble? That is easy enough to find in the free world, one need not go looking in prisons to find it if that is what they seek.

A great number of people write to inmates because they are kind and compassionate persons. Many write never thinking of entering into a relationship and many never do other than the penpal friendship variety. I admire people who give their time to brighten anothers day.


3. What about the women who met their men from that accidental phone call. Why would you accept a call from a man who is in prison when we all know the games that inmates play with the phone?

Okay this question is weird to me because personally I do not know any other women that have met their man in this fashion other than myself.

My man was in our local county jail waiting to go to prison when he misdialed my number. I had broken up with a scoundrel a few months earlier who occasionally had "child support" issues that landed him in jail a couple of times. When I received the call I did not know who was calling me as at that time the name was not given just that it was a collect call from the county jail (that has since changed and they speak their names). In any case I freely admit that I assumed it was my ex and I had a few choice words for him as I believed he thought that after all the time that had passed between us I would welcome such a call from him.

It turned out to be Sebastian, that was four years ago and as they say part of our history together as our journey continues...

I was leading a wonderful life when I met him, still am when push comes to shove and that is because I am me with or without him but surely he does enhance my life and I feel truly blessed that we found one another regardless of the circumstances.

Life is good,
Patty

By the way, I know a few people who have met their man on a "misdialed" phone called, and are seriously in love.
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  #33  
Old 07-16-2007, 03:33 PM
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I was in a MWI relationship with the biggest [I'm not allowed to say any of what he was because this is a family forum and I will get the boot] there was, the one that all the horror stories were based on.
When he was killed I wrote and told his best friend what happened and we began a correspondence. I went to see him because he was a nice guy on paper, even though I really didn't think any friend of his could be too different from him at all.
Low self esteem had nothing to do with my visiting him, his best friend dying did. I don't think that I'm ugly, I haven't been told that by anyone. As far as the call thing goes, he never asked for my number, I gave it to him and told him he was going to call me.
You can't get over the shyness he had with low self esteem. Besides, if I was feeling that bad about myself, then I wouldn't be waiting for a wedding date in a few weeks, now would I?
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Old 07-17-2007, 09:58 PM
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First And Foremost I Have Never Been Told That I Have A Low Self Esteem And That I'm Ugly On The Contrary The Total Oppsite And As Far As I'm Concerned I'm No-one To Judge Nor To Be Be Judged. The Day Will Come That I Will Have To Answer To The One Above And Only He Can Judge Me. I've Learned Along Time Ago Never Say Never Because When You Do It Can Bite You In The Behind, Also The Difference Between Them And Us Or Anyone Is That Erveryone Has Done Something Illegaly, I'm Sure Or Has Broken The Law In One Form Or Another They Just Have Not Gotten Caught Yet That Is It. I Say Live And Let Live And Love Because We Only Have One Life To Live And Live It To The Fullest With No Regrets. Our Lord Is A Forgiving God So With That Said I Will Close. #1 Grandma
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:08 AM
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very nicely said, Its not always easy to for give those who hurt us, but with enough understanding of a persons life and prayer, I find I could forgive, now Forgiving those who sell drugs, who share them , I find that hard to do so far. I think $ is the down fall and why so many get into this siduation. There seems little secure help for those who seek help in Wisconsin
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:21 AM
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I hope all your Dreams come true and life bless's those who served their time with justice and true happieness, God Bless your Union.. Joy

Quote:
Originally Posted by rottn
I was in a MWI relationship with the biggest [I'm not allowed to say any of what he was because this is a family forum and I will get the boot] there was, the one that all the horror stories were based on.
When he was killed I wrote and told his best friend what happened and we began a correspondence. I went to see him because he was a nice guy on paper, even though I really didn't think any friend of his could be too different from him at all.
Low self esteem had nothing to do with my visiting him, his best friend dying did. I don't think that I'm ugly, I haven't been told that by anyone. As far as the call thing goes, he never asked for my number, I gave it to him and told him he was going to call me.
You can't get over the shyness he had with low self esteem. Besides, if I was feeling that bad about myself, then I wouldn't be waiting for a wedding date in a few weeks, now would I?
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:33 AM
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well seeing all the Happy here, I need help for my son, who is desperate to have any penpals, he is off the drugs, he is really sorry, he is tall, blue eyes, blond, has both us parents living, altho I am remarried, he has 2 daughters which he hasn't seen in yrs. The mom's well thats another story, he got his HSD while he has been away, He blames himself for all he did, is there any pretty women willing to write him, maybe add your picture, tell him what you may, get to know each other, I know his life would sure brighten up. Please Help! the Mom .. Joy
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:50 PM
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. Do you think women who met their men while he was incarcerated, is less attractive than the average woman?

Hmm that's a tough one, my pals did tell me that a lot of unattractive females write to inmates and want to start a relationship. Big girls and older women in particular. Then again what is attractive ? I know stunning 50 year olds and drop dead gorgeous girls size 14 and bigger. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

2. Do you think that a woman who writes to a man as a penpal has low self esteem and is searching for trouble? Why would any human take the time and write to a man while he's incarcerated?

Why does writing to an inmate or just a regular penpal have to do with low selfesteem? Dont agree with the above.

3. What about the women who met their men from that accidental phone call. Why would you accept a call from a man who is in prison when we all know the games that inmates play with the phone?

Very cool way to meet
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:27 PM
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I have to put my two cents into this topic.I do not agree with this sterotype of women who met someone in prison have low self esteem. In my situation my sister was sent to prison when she was 16 years of age. And I found out about a site called writeaprisoner.com and I decided to write a man in prison. With my sister being in prison made me see things differently and I dont give a damn about what anyone else has to say about me talking to a certain individual(s) in prison. Its takes a specail person to write.
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:31 PM
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calmeblondy,
post his info in our pen pal section.
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Old 07-19-2007, 04:03 AM
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You know, the more that I think about it, the more that I know that women who date men in prison can not have low self-esteem. (For the most part). It takes a pretty strong female to hold it down (in all ways possible) while her man is locked up. I do not associate this type of strength with low self-esteem.
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Old 07-19-2007, 10:23 PM
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Like you Ants Girl I didn't realise that I was fat, ugly, had low self esteem, was a moron (easy target for scamming), and was looking for trouble. Well if I am all those things (which I'm not) I'm a very happy fat, ugly etc. My man is wonderful and the only thing I would change is where he is.
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Old 07-27-2007, 06:04 AM
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AMEN to Ant's Girl! There's nothing left for me to say after she elaborated it, she gave this ish thread more substance that I could ever. But just to touch on the "ugly" or "fat" bit, damn, Im bringing sexy back. Beyonce and JLo combined aint got nothing on me! I am hot with capital H.O.T. so no, all that is not true...
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Old 10-06-2007, 01:52 AM
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I POSTED IN PEN PAL, TOOK LONG ENOUGH, I NEVER SAID I WAS PERFECT, AND I KNOW I AM NOT, SPOKE TO STAN TONIGHT , IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY, HE TURNED 32, WON'T BE OUT TILL HE IS 38-39 YRS OLD. HEOP SOME WILL WRITE HIM, OK i AM BEGGING PLEASE CK PEN PALS OUT, AND THANK YOU THOSE WHO POSTED THE LINK IT SURE HELPED ALOT.
GOD BLESS YOU SO VERY MUCH!!
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Old 10-06-2007, 09:39 AM
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Do you think women who met their men while he was incarcerated, is less attractive than the average woman?

Absolutely NOT...I consider myself very attractive and so does Soldado.

Do you think that a woman who writes to a man as a penpal has low self esteem and is searching for trouble? Why would any human take the time and write to a man while he's incarcerated?

I wasnt searchng for trouble I dealt with trouble on a daily basis...I was looking for someone to talk to that wouldnt judge me from my past mistakes(ive been married 4 times)...I never thought I would fall in love but thats what happends when you open your heart and allow it...ive been married 4 times and NEVER BEEN IN LOVE UNTIL NOW. Dogs cant write so of course a HUMAN WOULD WRITE AN INCARCERATED MAN. I took chances on educated corp american MR' so called rights and they turned into nitemares...Im taking a chance on my inmate.

What about the women who met their men from that accidental phone call. Why would you accept a call from a man who is in prison when we all know the games that inmates play with the phone?

Yes...Just like i took chances on any other man I initially came in contact with...grocery store,Mosque,gas station.
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Old 10-06-2007, 01:10 PM
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i think i used to have low self esteem. maybe that is what caused me to give my pen pal a chance ... when i went to meet him ... i didnt plan on visits...i only planned on letters....

when i went to meet my penpal, oh, there was a sexy a** man across the room who just "called" me with his look. long story short, I married that man, and he has helped me to have more confidence and to believe in myself.

sure, low self esteem possibly helped open the door to me giving him a chance. But is the fact that he is an absolutely amazing man that helped me to love him and want to build a life with him.
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Old 01-02-2008, 12:21 AM
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I read this online and felt this was interesting..This is an opinion FROM AN INMATE..One who probobally has gotten hundreds of responses over the years.."The woman who resonds and has romantic interest in a prisoner fits a profile: Overweight,unattractive,over 40,divorced.They have low self esteem,feel inadequate,and want to feel control and power over someone..These women have trust issues,insecurities,came from relationships with mental and physical abuse,so the relationship with the prisoner is safe.Where else can a woman have a man's complete attention and need her??? AGAIN this is an oppinion from an INMATE...I thought it was kind of interesting..As far as self esteem issues go Ive had them along with trust issues so I did see some truth in that..I've seen many times on here women being taken advantage by inmates that feed on their insecurities and pretty much tell them what they want to hear so I do see some element of truth in his opinion....He's making a generalization but I kind of wonder if a lot of inmates have this opinion when they put out personal ads and use it to their advantage.
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Old 01-02-2008, 11:06 AM
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Not at all... I met my MWI while I was in a relationship. There was nothing wrong with the relationship and the guy was good to me but he just never touched my heart. My MWI guy did and that's why I married him.
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Old 01-02-2008, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILoveLeo
I read this online and felt this was interesting..This is an opinion FROM AN INMATE..One who probobally has gotten hundreds of responses over the years.."The woman who resonds and has romantic interest in a prisoner fits a profile: Overweight,unattractive,over 40,divorced.They have low self esteem,feel inadequate,and want to feel control and power over someone..These women have trust issues,insecurities,came from relationships with mental and physical abuse,so the relationship with the prisoner is safe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wife C
Not at all... I met my MWI while I was in a relationship. There was nothing wrong with the relationship and the guy was good to me but he just never touched my heart. My MWI guy did and that's why I married him.
We've all had some issues at some point...would I say that's why some may seek out relationship with an inmate? ????? I guess I could see where they would feel like it would be a "safe" relationship, but in reality...probably far from it. I'm NOT saying this about ALL inmates, but hey, they're not in there for their "good deeds"....some may be very manipulative (& extremely good at it). I have been told first hand from several ex inmate friends (as well as read on here) many stories about inmates taking advantage of those on the outside...both men & women.
Personally, that's not the case with me. Yeah, I've had some dysfunctional & "failed" relationships, I'm knockin' on the door of 40 , could actually stand to gain some weight, have a great self esteem (if you can't love & accept yourself for who you are....how can you truly love anyone else?), & have never wanted power or control over anyone....just to be equal with them.
I too (like Wife C) was in a relationship (married) when I met my incarcerated one...but lacked that true emotional connection...that my MWI one filled. I'm at a point in my life where I know who I am, know what I want, WON'T tolerate BS (because I don't have to), am financially secure, have already been there & done ALL that...not "missing out" on anything by being in this type relationship. When I met my guy I only wanted to bring some happiness into the life of someone living in a dark place...I never anticipated more. Also, I waited 2 months before writting. I thought it over carefully...not only from my standpoint, but his. When entering someones life in this position...you need to know you can be consistant. Not just a fly by night friend.
Alot of people see what they want to see.....feel what they want to feel, rather than the obvious. You have to go into this eyes wide open. Trust is earned...not a given.
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Old 01-02-2008, 12:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILoveLeo
The woman who resonds and has romantic interest in a prisoner fits a profile: Overweight,unattractive,over 40,divorced.They have low self esteem,feel inadequate,and want to feel control and power over someone..These women have trust issues,insecurities,came from relationships with mental and physical abuse,so the relationship with the prisoner is safe.Where else can a woman have a man's complete attention and need her??? .
hmmmm... im 5'5 and 135 lbs so the overweight assumption is out . Im not supermodel material but I wont break the camera so that leaves that theory out. I was in my 30's and already divorced long before jamie entered my life so that blows that thoery out. no low self esteem on my part. I love myself and who I am. will be the first to say whats on my mind and if others dont like me its their loss not mine so thats another theory shot down

Control is not one of my faults either. Im in the middle on that one. I wont lie down and let someone walk over me but I dont want to be the boss either. Was in management for quite some time and demoted myself just last year because i didnt like having the control over others. not in me. so there another theory shot. I can get a mans undivided attention out here in the free world. And i'm not saying there isnt a man out here for me as i am sure there is but I love Jamie and I made the choice to stay with him and devote myself to him. I did not set out to fall in love with a inmate just as no one on the out or inside plans on falling in love. it just happens!
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