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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #1  
Old 06-23-2007, 08:24 AM
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Default MWI Relationships Can Survive the Odds

I am sorry it has taken me a while to make it back and post here. I have posted a little in the "now that your loved one is home".

For those who dont know me I will recap a little about my situation. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years, but have been together for 4 1/2. My situation is a little differant then most in the sense that I did know who he was before he was in prison, but I didnt know any details about him. After he was in prison he ran across someone else that knew me and asked if he could write me. Not expecting I would ever write back (and I didnt write back after the first letter) I agreed to see what he had to say. Once he wrote the second time I finally wrote back and the rest is history.

He has been home almost two months and we are still together and not planning on going anywhere. In the beginning we did have some adjustments that were rough, but if you love someone then you work those out.

I think its true the MWI are at higher risk because we dont know them any better then they know us in the outside world, but despite the odds it can happen. Love is a risk no matter what and if you really feel in your heart that this is the right thing then dont let anyone rain on your parade and say these things never work out. I happen to know a few others who have survived MWI.
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Old 06-23-2007, 08:33 AM
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i am glad that you have posted here! first of all,welcome and nice to meet you! few of us were burned but also are now in another relationship. mine is so much better than the last one!
i know for a fact that there are many mwi which survived after the release! i have meet so many other wifes who were mwi while visiting and heard from them after their love ones were back to the free world. many of them do not post on the internet,they go on with their lifes. and it is what we miss, people who are a success to come here and share their experience. because it is not all bad,and one bad experience is not a life time experience. personally i rarely share the hell i went thru,because i want to put it where it belongs,reduced to ashes.
so thank you for sharing it felt good to read your post.
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Old 06-23-2007, 08:35 AM
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Yay TNC!!! Honey I couldn't be MORE happy for you and your hubby and your happy family.

You and I have shared many ups and downs, yours, mine, ours and the bottom line is MWI HAPPENS and sometimes it happens with the right people.

We're doin' it all of us together! BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE MWI's that made it to the other side...

Always,
Patty
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Old 06-23-2007, 02:20 PM
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TNC I'm so happy for you ,chris and the kids.
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Old 06-23-2007, 04:43 PM
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Happy for yall
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Old 06-23-2007, 04:49 PM
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I'm happy to hear it is all working out for you.
It gives us all hope to hear the positive stories instead of just the ones who don't work out.
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Old 06-24-2007, 02:21 PM
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Hi TNC Wellcome and thank you ...thank you ...thank you .....
for a postive story about mwi relationships !!

So Good on you !

Blessings
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Old 06-24-2007, 02:45 PM
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Hey, I'm not so sure what MWI means, but I married my husband almost 13 years ago by proxy marriage as Texas prisons don't allow inmates to have a marriage ceremony! I never knew my husband until I met him inside the prison. I was his casemanager. He got out in 2002, but parole sent him back on his first technical violation two months ago. Our love is still strong and the more people try to ruin us, the stronger we get! It's been tough. Not an easy marriage, but I'm hoping he'll grow up and be the man he's promised me he would be! Hopefully they'll be releasing him soon. So far no word on how much longer he'll be locked up.

My heart goes out to all of you!

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Old 06-24-2007, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLH
Hey, I'm not so sure what MWI means, but I married my husband almost 13 years ago by proxy marriage as Texas prisons don't allow inmates to have a marriage ceremony! I never knew my husband until I met him inside the prison. I was his casemanager. He got out in 2002, but parole sent him back on his first technical violation two months ago. Our love is still strong and the more people try to ruin us, the stronger we get! It's been tough. Not an easy marriage, but I'm hoping he'll grow up and be the man he's promised me he would be! Hopefully they'll be releasing him soon. So far no word on how much longer he'll be locked up.

My heart goes out to all of you!

JLH
MWI = Met While Incarcerated, the name of this forum.

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Old 06-24-2007, 03:25 PM
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Default So nice to hear!

I am so happy to hear your story. Its seems when it comes to MWI there is alot of negetivity, it is so nice to hear a success story....all the best to you and your loved one always!!
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Old 06-26-2007, 07:29 PM
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Thanks for sharing your story it does help to hear the other side of things and as far as letting someone rain on my parade I am not going to do that unless it is him or me and then we would probably be making love in the rain ... Okay enough about that I wish you the best and congrats on all of your happiness, love and success ....
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Old 06-28-2007, 07:56 AM
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Don't know ur story really, but happy that it is going soo well for you and yours. And thanks for sharing the sucess story, it is always good to hear great news like that. The odds may be against us mwi, but it does turn out with a happy ending sometimes, and I am soo glad to see it, or hear about it when it does, it is very encouraging.
Thanks for sharing, and Congrats!
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Old 06-28-2007, 01:48 PM
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Thanks for letting us hear from you and how great you and your completed family are now doing. It is such a happy love story for sure.

Much happiness to each of you always.
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Old 06-28-2007, 01:56 PM
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...thanks for sharing!
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Old 06-28-2007, 06:38 PM
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thank you for sharing, I really needed to hear that!
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Old 06-28-2007, 11:07 PM
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So Happy For You
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Old 06-29-2007, 12:24 AM
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Old 06-29-2007, 12:15 PM
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Thanks for sharing your story. I think it is good and needed for MWI's who make it on the outside to share their stories and as others have said, there can be so much negativity surrounding our kind of relationships. My guy got out nearly 7 mths ago and we were together for 6 mths over here in England. Sadly his visa ran out yesterday so he had to return to the States while we see if he can re-enter on a fiance visa. It has been a hard road....he has and still is finding it hard to adjust to the world out here and to a whole different life and way of being. We share a very deep love and in many ways our love has grown stronger through going through everything both in prison and now out here too. If given the chance by my country I know we can make it. Love is love no matter where it forms and sure relationships like all of ours do have 'different' aspects and things to consider but they really can and do work.
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Old 06-30-2007, 05:17 AM
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Love this. Keep the success stories coming.
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Old 06-30-2007, 06:48 AM
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TNC,
I am so glad to hear yall are doing so well and i remember your countdown and many of your posts before chris came home.... I am also MWI and we married in april. We have had many hurdles to overcome and many still left to hurdle but it is nice to know if you work out through the rough stuff you can still hear the good stuff too...

congrats to you both.
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Old 07-02-2007, 03:46 PM
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Any relationship is a risk. We all start out as strangers. Some turn out to be good people and some don't, and this is true despite location.

E-harmony (dating service over the web) doesn't get a bad wrap, and for the most part, all the di is ask a few questions and unite a few stangers in the hopes that "it will work." What's to say that the people answering the questions within the screening process aren't lying? There are no "sure things" and everything is not doomed to be a failure. You just have to take chances, look for signs, trust your own judgement and intuition, and proceed accordingly.

We on the outside could also be "big liars" as well and just because the person on the inside got convicted of a crime does not mean that he / she is guilty of being a liar or heartbreaker. Just the same, just becasue someone has not been convicted of a crime and is roaming the streets free does not mean that they aren't guilty of a crime and possibly lying.

Have you ever considered that someone on the inside may question our motives?

Why would you want to hold it down for someone who is locked up? (This is the insider speaking)

With everyone who is free on the streets and all of the opprotunities that surround you, why would you want to make a promise to me?

How can I really trust that you are who you say you arre and that you do the things that you say you do?

I'm not going anywhere, (look at my location) and you always know my location, but how do I know that you aren't going anywhere?

Why would I want to develop feelings for someone who may not get sick of me, but who may get sick of my situation and eventually leave.

How do you know that you can last and wait for me for the duration of my sentence? Some relationships don't even last for that amount of time when the person is there.............how is ours going to last when I'm not even there?

Aren't you lonely and don't you have desires?

Anyway- this is just an example that it can go both ways and that the person on the inside can have just as many doubts as the person on the outside.

Mine taught me this as I was always coming at him "with stuff" (due to his location) and he was always very patient with me and took th etime to reaasure me. One day, he said to me,

"You know everything that you fear...........or all of the doubts that you have?"

I said, "yes,'

He said, "did you ever consider that what ever it is that you are feeling that i may be feeling too.?"

I said nothing and felt very selfish at that specific moment. (This was not his intention)

He told me, "I am human too, and I have "feelings, fears, and doubts" despite the fact that I am locked up. i was cool without you and happy to be on my own for I had "nothing to worry about." Since you, all of that is changed and don't get me wrong as I wouldn't meeting you for a minute, but life was a lot easier before you only because it is harder when feelings get involved. I miss you, worry about you, think about you all of the time, hope that you are okay, hope that you are still mine, and the list goes on. Yes, you are taking a chance on me because I can't be there with you to show you that I mean the things that I say and this frustrates me
but on the flip side, I don't really know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are legit either. None of us really know, but here we are, willing to take a chance, so why not take that chance together?"

I still have my doubts and fears, but the difference now is that I also know that he is no different, and I felt badly for discounting his feelings / thoughts / concerns based on the fact that he is where he is.
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Old 07-13-2007, 02:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ant's Girl
Any relationship is a risk. We all start out as strangers. Some turn out to be good people and some don't, and this is true despite location.

E-harmony (dating service over the web) doesn't get a bad wrap, and for the most part, all the di is ask a few questions and unite a few stangers in the hopes that "it will work." What's to say that the people answering the questions within the screening process aren't lying? There are no "sure things" and everything is not doomed to be a failure. You just have to take chances, look for signs, trust your own judgement and intuition, and proceed accordingly.

We on the outside could also be "big liars" as well and just because the person on the inside got convicted of a crime does not mean that he / she is guilty of being a liar or heartbreaker. Just the same, just becasue someone has not been convicted of a crime and is roaming the streets free does not mean that they aren't guilty of a crime and possibly lying.

Have you ever considered that someone on the inside may question our motives?

Why would you want to hold it down for someone who is locked up? (This is the insider speaking)

With everyone who is free on the streets and all of the opprotunities that surround you, why would you want to make a promise to me?

How can I really trust that you are who you say you arre and that you do the things that you say you do?

I'm not going anywhere, (look at my location) and you always know my location, but how do I know that you aren't going anywhere?

Why would I want to develop feelings for someone who may not get sick of me, but who may get sick of my situation and eventually leave.

How do you know that you can last and wait for me for the duration of my sentence? Some relationships don't even last for that amount of time when the person is there.............how is ours going to last when I'm not even there?

Aren't you lonely and don't you have desires?

Anyway- this is just an example that it can go both ways and that the person on the inside can have just as many doubts as the person on the outside.

Mine taught me this as I was always coming at him "with stuff" (due to his location) and he was always very patient with me and took th etime to reaasure me. One day, he said to me,

"You know everything that you fear...........or all of the doubts that you have?"

I said, "yes,'

He said, "did you ever consider that what ever it is that you are feeling that i may be feeling too.?"

I said nothing and felt very selfish at that specific moment. (This was not his intention)

He told me, "I am human too, and I have "feelings, fears, and doubts" despite the fact that I am locked up. i was cool without you and happy to be on my own for I had "nothing to worry about." Since you, all of that is changed and don't get me wrong as I wouldn't meeting you for a minute, but life was a lot easier before you only because it is harder when feelings get involved. I miss you, worry about you, think about you all of the time, hope that you are okay, hope that you are still mine, and the list goes on. Yes, you are taking a chance on me because I can't be there with you to show you that I mean the things that I say and this frustrates me
but on the flip side, I don't really know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are legit either. None of us really know, but here we are, willing to take a chance, so why not take that chance together?"

I still have my doubts and fears, but the difference now is that I also know that he is no different, and I felt badly for discounting his feelings / thoughts / concerns based on the fact that he is where he is.

Ant's Girl, just wanted to thank you for your lovely post. You give alot of food for thought here. Thanks for sharing.

Good luck to all!
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She was a kind, gentle soul who always took the time to welcome newcomers with an encouraging post and helping hand.
She made our forum a better place.
May she rest in peace.

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