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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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Old 12-05-2006, 06:04 PM
caramarie caramarie is offline
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Default Film Project on Women in Love with Lifers...Looking for Participants...

Hi there:

I'm a documentary television producer and want to make a film about women in love with men in prison for life. I've been wanting to make this program for several years now and think this has to be one of the hardest relationships to maintain -- and from my talks with numerous women in the past on this very site -- it's also a really sensitive topic too.

I just read one woman's post about tv publicity -- and you're right. Many television shows today film the elaborate re-creations, knock on the victim's doors, interview all the lawyers, but never show the side of the person who knows the accused or incarcerated man best, his spouse or girlfriend.

This program will tell the lifer's wife or girlfriend's side of the story. My goal is to feature the lives of women in long-term relationships with men behind bars for life..and ask the tough questions...such as Why date or marry someone you can never be with -- OR -- is power of love so strong that it can last against all odds?

Also, in the spirit of honesty, this show will need to feature re-creations of the crime. It's expected these days to illustrate what happened -- and why the woman and man are apart -- BUT in doing these re-creations contradictions in the case can be highlighted depending on the legal reports and both lawyers can be interviewed. In many of these crime shows, some evidence seems to be forgotten and ends up on the edit room floor.

However, I must stress that the overall film will be about of the wife or girlfriend of a lifer and will be told in a documentary style way like the award winning films "The Farm" or "Born Into Brothels." Many on the outside don't know what its like for women who have to drive four hours to see their loved one, have to spend nights in hotels to make it on time for visiting hours, only get to see their partner for a few hours a month -- or the anguish of knowing that they can't if a lockdown or other things happen.

So, I'm looking for women who might be interested in participating in such a program. Also, it would be great if you can offer your advice. I don't want to offend anyone, but a show like this hasn't been done before and I'm convinced it should. Please contact me if you have any questions or comments. I'm happy to provide more information.

Thank you,


PS: I'm a posting newbie so I hope I posted this correctly...
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Old 12-06-2006, 12:06 AM
MurphyGirl MurphyGirl is offline
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PTO welcomes journalists and/or members of the media to learn and educate themselves about prisons, prisoners, and their loved ones.

We will, occasionally, allow the media to request information and personal stories from our members. However, PTO does not endorse any journalist, member of the media, story/report, or media outlet.

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As always, the disclosure of personal information (either yours or someone that is incarcerated) may have some serious repercussions. PTO has no way of predicting how the media will present your story or that of your loved one. Any relationship with the media is to be entered into at your own risk.

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Old 12-27-2006, 03:25 PM
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Mrs. Magic Mrs. Magic is offline
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I think this is a great idea but I don't know about being on camara but it is needed I hope you get it done.
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Old 12-27-2006, 04:15 PM
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I am in the process of doing a documentary with Court TV about my relationship with my fiance, but I don't know anything about this post here...We started filming last month...
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Old 12-27-2006, 04:28 PM
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I would say to anyone going to do this: Be careful how the situation is presented to you. Im sure the women involved in other documentaries(about prison relationships) that portrayed them as desperate and other negative qualities didnt agree to being portrayed that way. They probably thought it was going to good and different that other programs that have been on. The power of editing.

Just a word of caution if your going to be a part of this. Dont go in with your eyes closed and naive about what the goals are for this project.
So glad your back...
God's will does not lead us to where God's grace cannot sustain us
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Old 01-08-2007, 11:28 AM
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I am very wary about these types of things. I would feel more comfortable (and have myself considered) making a film with someone who is an actual wife or family member of an incarcerated pereson.
I am not a cheap product upon which you can place your silly label. My heart is true. And our love is real. I am happy with my choices and;
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:49 PM
SnakeCharmer SnakeCharmer is offline
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After seeing how the MSNBC Lock Up show , cut out 99.9% of the GOOD from their Holman show when they interviewed my Loved one. No, I would not like to do a show/interview/movie for that reason.
if i done the movie myself( or any wife girlfriend famliy bestfriend ect) it WOULD actualy be something very good, and very needed. but how it is done, to get GOOD T V rateings...<eyeroll> no, cuz the editing room has to much fun with it all. which in turn hurts people, and does nothing for the public except let them know it's okay not to "care"
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Old 01-12-2007, 09:00 PM
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re-inacting the crime will only erase all the good the wives/girlfreids say. viewers who have no emotional attachment to the incarcerated will only see the crime and think the woman is nuts...be weary...
"no one in this world can come between us" - Kenney!
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Old 01-12-2007, 09:58 PM
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I would never do this. The media is on an anti-crime frenzy trying to convince the public that every social problem can be blamed on street crime. Even well-meaning journalists have absolutely no editorial control over the end content of the piece unfortunately. Just be careful. I have seen peaceful protests turn into "riots" on Fox news, cold blooded murder by police turn into the poor cops defending themselves and much more. just my two cents.
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Old 01-12-2007, 10:11 PM
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How much control would the participants have in what's shown or edited out? Is this really for lifers and their women or just another slot to be filled on telly?

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. - J Krishnamurti

'Why' must almost always override 'how'. - Anjewel

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Old 01-12-2007, 10:45 PM
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I am in the Process of doing a Documentary with a Film Maker out of the NE. We spoke a lot on the phone, then she came down to meet my husband and spend a few days with me getting to know one another. She has turned out to be wonderful and very helpful in my husbands case. I to am wary of people and we should be by all means. We should be wary of a lot of things in our life, not just film makers.
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Old 01-12-2007, 11:00 PM
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There are plenty of people to be wary of. Some of them are filmmakers. It does not necessarily follow that all filmmakers are to be distruted.

I would offer one caution: ANYONE who works with the media should take care not to make public any information which has not already been made so and/or that has not been approved by the prisoner's legal staff. The last thing anyone with an ongoing appeal needs is for the details of same to turn up on "Primetime Live" or the equivalent.

Court TV is currently producing a series called "The Wrong Man" or something of the sort. If they call you, be careful. At the very least, they are using a deceitful interview technique which verges on cruelty. At most, they are just another exploitative "true crime" show. I have not yet seen an episode and so can draw no conclusion, but I do advise caution at least until their true colors are known.
"If Darlie Routier is really innocent, that only proves that I am a great lawyer" --Greg Davis, Dallas County Prosecutor, during a broadcast interview.


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