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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Do u ever feel like u can't stand by your commitment 2 stand by your inmate forever?
Never, That's my answer and I'm sticking to it!!! 925 46.13%
Sometimes I feel my life is on hold but then I know he's/she's worth the wait 794 39.60%
Sometimes I do wonder what the heck I'm doing 351 17.51%
Always, I wish I never committed to him 7 0.35%
Always, I'm only in for the kids 8 0.40%
Always 10 0.50%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 2005. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 02-25-2006, 07:30 PM
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Default Commitment Meter

I wanted to capture the emotional state of the significant others on this site. I wonder how you're feeling about the situation you've found yourself in - loving an inmate. Some of us could potentially be waiting for him/her to get out for many years while others of us are have 1-5 years. We are all "waiting" and I'm wondering how you keep your head up and if you ever waiver in your commitment.

For me, the first thing I had to do was be clear on my feelings for Max. Now i know what they are (love!!!) and the next step was to determine what our relationship would be while he was on the inside. I can stand next to him how ever long it takes because we're taking this opportunity to learn each other all over again as friends. We love each other and we are both look forward to him getting out to explore a new relationship. The point is, as his friend I will stand by him as long as it takes.

What about you?
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  #2  
Old 02-25-2006, 08:05 PM
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I have never thought that i couldnt wait for him.. He made me happy and he still makes me happy while he is in.. He is my world as we are his.. He makes this family complete and I stay with him cuz i love him unconditionally as he does us.
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  #3  
Old 02-25-2006, 08:31 PM
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Sometimes I go through some hard times on my own but I would never leave him or ever doubt my decision to wait for him.
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  #4  
Old 02-25-2006, 08:40 PM
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I can't honestly say, at this point. I do know that there's nothing like him in the world. But some weeks...I just despair of ever seeing him again.

Shrug.
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  #5  
Old 02-25-2006, 08:42 PM
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NOPE, NEVER!!!!! I will do this forever if i had to.~~~Brandi
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  #6  
Old 02-25-2006, 09:33 PM
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u know i like that u have this little meter, and at first i thought of this.......But, like most of you i realized that i could never even bring that thought to my mind....i love my man and would do anything for him, wait, die for him, there is just nothing in this world that i wouldnt do for him.....
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  #7  
Old 02-25-2006, 11:27 PM
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I originally met my man while he was incarcerated and made the decision to do his time with him, he went back in recently and although it is only for a short time I made the commitment to do it again. It's not the life I would have chosen for either of us but I love him and just can't imagine not doing his time with him.

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  #8  
Old 02-25-2006, 11:31 PM
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You can't live without your heart, and since he has mine, there's no way I could ever leave!!! This is not the way I would choose to live our lives, but we'll make the best of what we have!!
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  #9  
Old 02-26-2006, 06:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wtg2SmileAgain
. . . I'm wondering how you keep your head up and if you ever waiver in your commitment.
I do it because of the person I am. I am loyal as a pitt bull who's well taken care of and well disciplined; I am all of that and a bag of chips. So no matter who I am with or what his circumstances are when I come to a relationship it's loyalty and all that other good stuff is what I brangs to the table. Therefore he could be doing a 20 year stretch or he could be be the president of his own company, what he gets is what I am.

Last edited by HeSoHandsome; 02-26-2006 at 06:26 AM..
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  #10  
Old 02-26-2006, 07:06 AM
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He is my heart and soul and without him, i could not breath, I love him, and I would wait forever !
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  #11  
Old 02-26-2006, 08:47 AM
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Smile I am committed 1000% to my Honey!!!

I have been since we started going out and I will be forever!!! Love is a wonderful thing with him he has made me grow and change into a reponsible, sensible person in so many ways. I admire HIM he is so amazing to me!!!

Wendy aka Ruddsgrl1
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  #12  
Old 02-26-2006, 10:42 AM
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I can not live without him ~ I'm with him for the rest of eternity, whatever the future may behold for us. He is the half that makes me whole.
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  #13  
Old 02-26-2006, 12:37 PM
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He really is my everything but that doesn't mean that it's not hard at times. This isn't the life I expected to lead and sometimes I second guess the choice that I made but at the end of the day I know without a doubt he's it for me there is no turning back. I told him the other day "Jonthan, you have my heart, which in return means you have me." and I honestly mean that. I'm not complete without him and I would never want to go back to a time that he wasn't apart of my life. I love him he is my everything.
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  #14  
Old 02-26-2006, 03:28 PM
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i have been doing this for 25 years now
need i say more
each
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  #15  
Old 02-26-2006, 03:54 PM
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I feel this time has been for the better for Tony and I's marriage, It has given us time to grow as individuals and as a couple, we have learned so much about each other, and communicate so much better now. I would wait however long it took, although if when he comes home nothing has "really" changed and he goes back, then I am not so sure I would wait again
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  #16  
Old 02-26-2006, 07:45 PM
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Yes there was a time when I felt like I couldn't do it. I felt like I wasn't strong enough and that HIS situation was slowly elminating MY way of life.
I mean here I was "Miss Do Everything By The Book" dealing with this man who'd done everything the book says you shouldn't do. I just couldn't understand why God was punishing me. All I wanted was to be hapy with the man I loved and now he was gone. I just couldn't see how I was going to get through it or how.

Then I made a decision. I was going to take some time away and pray about the situation. I mean after all if God didn't want me to be with him then I didn't want him in my life anyway. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. All of a sudden it was like God gave me a deep inner peace that only comes from him. I could suddenly deal with all of it. Don't get me wrong I still wasn't happy about it but I could dela with it. I could be with him. I could make it through this.

That was many years ago and he gets home in August. Yeah I MADE IT! With God's peace I made it......
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Old 02-26-2006, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 03 B&C
Yes there was a time when I felt like I couldn't do it. I felt like I wasn't strong enough and that HIS situation was slowly elminating MY way of life.
I mean here I was "Miss Do Everything By The Book" dealing with this man who'd done everything the book says you shouldn't do. I just couldn't understand why God was punishing me. All I wanted was to be hapy with the man I loved and now he was gone. I just couldn't see how I was going to get through it or how.

Then I made a decision. I was going to take some time away and pray about the situation. I mean after all if God didn't want me to be with him then I didn't want him in my life anyway. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. All of a sudden it was like God gave me a deep inner peace that only comes from him. I could suddenly deal with all of it. Don't get me wrong I still wasn't happy about it but I could dela with it. I could be with him. I could make it through this.

That was many years ago and he gets home in August. Yeah I MADE IT! With God's peace I made it......
I agree. I was just telling my sweetie how I had peace about all of this. Do I like it? Heck no! But peace I do have and it all comes from God. He was just telling me that he never thought that he could be this happy and to be this happy and in prison at the same time just didn't make any sense...but he is - and I am too. God is so good! I can wait because I know where my happiness is.
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Old 02-26-2006, 10:13 PM
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I can and will wait until "our day".
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  #19  
Old 02-27-2006, 12:30 AM
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I picked the second one but the real answer should be .. I feel like "our" life is on hold. It is very much on hold, but definatly worth the wait!

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Old 02-27-2006, 08:17 AM
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In the past i had questioned our love for eachother...but i beleive it was because we hadn't been able to hear eachothers voice, or see eachother's face in almost 4 yrs.,...but after my visit with him 2 wks ago....i feel stupid for EVER doubting my love and commitment to him, and now i am going to wait for him!!! He is my heart, my soul mate, and the TRUE love of my life.....i can't wait to marry him!!!!
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Old 02-27-2006, 11:01 AM
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There are times when I think about the plans we had before he went in and how those things were put on the back burner. It makes me feel like my life at times was put on the back burner. Then i realize that my life does go on. I could not imagine life without my friend, my lover, and my confidant. He's my husband and i feel he is worth the wait.
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  #22  
Old 02-27-2006, 11:14 AM
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I voted "never" because I only met my honey about a year and five months ago. We've been a couple for the past six months. He gets out in '07, so I know it won't be that hard on me to wait.

But I can understand those who have so much longer to wait for their loved one, feeling like it's something they can't stick with.
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  #23  
Old 02-27-2006, 12:03 PM
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He is the air that I breathe!
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Old 02-27-2006, 06:50 PM
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I have looked into his eyes on one of our visits and I made a swear to him that I wil forever wait on him. I don't feel as its really waiting tho as more its growing together. I know since its been only 17 months there will be more ups and downs and prolly even more severe ones. We both have talked and believe that God has a deeper plan for us then just the road block of the long sentence being thrown before our feet. So if yer asking if Im committed to him and his 18 to life sentence....its the air that I breathe. Am I sure? Its in my veins.

~Bella~
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  #25  
Old 02-27-2006, 07:38 PM
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U know, for a while I was convinced that I couldnt do it, and decided that I WOULDNT wait for him becuz I didnt see our relationship going anywhere. I eventually broke up with him, for about 1 1/2 yrs, and I thought bout him, and missed him most of the time. We just got back together on Feb. 11th, and frankly, I dont see myself without him. I LUV HIM, I MISS HIM, AND I NEED HIM IN MY LIFE. He is my world, my everything, and I cant ever picture myself without him.
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