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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: if you had the chance to get pregnant would you?
yes 897 38.37%
no 1,039 44.44%
maybe 307 13.13%
can't decide 95 4.06%
Voters: 2338. You may not vote on this poll

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  #951  
Old 02-17-2013, 06:47 PM
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I did it!!!!! Our son just turned 1 month old and I dont regret our decision. My husband has 3 more years to do
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  #952  
Old 02-20-2013, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irisheyes66
I wouldn't do it.

Why put my child at a disadvantage like that...especially if my partner was a lifer?
I've been a single Mom, and it was incredibly difficult. I can't even imagine taking that stress on willingly.

Of course, everyone has different views on this subject....but for me, it just wouldn't work.
I totally agree. A baby can wait til my husbands home & we can enjoy tht moment 2gether & the responsibility as well
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  #953  
Old 03-06-2013, 03:11 PM
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Yes. I would.. It would be great!
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  #954  
Old 03-10-2013, 04:08 PM
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Me personally...I would wait until he got out. I have had the chance to experience being in a single parent household and being with both parents. While both situations have pros and cons I think children do better with two parents in the house. I'm speaking from the view of a child (I don't have any of my own yet).
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  #955  
Old 05-27-2013, 03:39 PM
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I am already raising one son without his father around. I would never do that to another child because I know how it hurts the children.

My man is serving 25-life. We have already agreed that if by some miracle he gets parole first try we will have a baby, if not I will never have more children and have accepted that. My 8 year old is not his and is from a relationship I had when me and my fiancé were out of contact for 10 years. He loves him like his own though and they are penpals. My son has more contact with my fiancé than with his bio dad which is sad, bio dad is a free man with no interest in being a father.
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  #956  
Old 05-27-2013, 08:12 PM
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I wouldn't...my husband was incarcerated when his 14 yr old was born so I want him to experience our future children's births & be there for me. Who'll go get me pickles & ice cream at 3 am if he's not home?!
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  #957  
Old 05-30-2013, 10:47 AM
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I used to be dead set on waiting until he comes home but as the years pass and I get older I'm starting to realize waiting may not be an option. I'm leaving it in gods hands, what should be, will be. Take care ladies!
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  #958  
Old 06-02-2013, 08:56 AM
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My clock is ticking and I totally would if I could right now. By the time my husband gets out I will just be turning 40 if his appeals don't go through. We talk about it all the time. I have not had the joy of having children and as the years go by it gets harder and harder to deal with. I know if I were to have a child now it would be hard but I would have tons of family support and I have a good job and education. But we live in Oregon and I've looked into it before and I don't think I can legally get pregnant by my husband, like using IVF which I would if I could. Oregon doesn't allow "family visits" so if anyone knows of a way or heard of a court case to petition the courts to get his "Man Parts" so I could get inseminated please let me know.
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  #959  
Old 06-02-2013, 09:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by S&F1403 View Post
My clock is ticking and I totally would if I could right now. By the time my husband gets out I will just be turning 40 if his appeals don't go through. We talk about it all the time. I have not had the joy of having children and as the years go by it gets harder and harder to deal with. I know if I were to have a child now it would be hard but I would have tons of family support and I have a good job and education. But we live in Oregon and I've looked into it before and I don't think I can legally get pregnant by my husband, like using IVF which I would if I could. Oregon doesn't allow "family visits" so if anyone knows of a way or heard of a court case to petition the courts to get his "Man Parts" so I could get inseminated please let me know.
Have you considered adoption? I know the child would not be yours biologically, but he or she would be the child of your heart, and his. There are children already here who need a family, and this might be easier for you right now. And when he gets out and your are 40, it isn't too late to have a baby. Best wishes!
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  #960  
Old 06-03-2013, 08:08 AM
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I've never seen this post until today, but the last 3 months its all my man wants to talk about. In letters and on the phone, he wants a child with me. Don't get me wrong I'm honoured but it isn't going to happen no conjugal s in Cali and to be 100% honest I don't think I could do it without him. So my answer would be no, but my man would be yes.
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  #961  
Old 06-03-2013, 11:15 AM
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We have a 7 month old baby boy. & were still young we can wait a few more years for our next one
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  #962  
Old 06-05-2013, 05:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randys_girl4eva View Post
i was just wondering if you had a chance to get prenant while he was still in would you take the oppurtunity or would you wait until he gets out. but if your boyfriend was in there for life and you don't have that option to wait would you just go ahead and get pregnant?
I might if it's truly what I wanted. But right now I wouldn't I couldn't, I have time for that and I don't think I will be any time soon! But I may if I was in the right place for it unlike right now.
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  #963  
Old 06-07-2013, 01:05 PM
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I'm already almost 23 wks pregnant with his baby, lol so i guess too late for that...

but if he was in for a loooooong time or life..maybe!!! neither one of us is that young anymore, i might consider because he means so much and it would mean alot to me to have his baby, that would always be a true blessing to share with him... but since he only has about a yr left, nahh i'd just wait til he is home!!!
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  #964  
Old 07-04-2013, 11:55 AM
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not just NO but HELL NO!
I'm not trying to go through that process alone.
I can wait until AFTER daddy is home.
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  #965  
Old 07-07-2013, 12:55 AM
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I noticed that those who already have children said no. Part of that is knowing how difficult is really is to raise children on your own. The other side of that is for people who have never had children and they may have to get pregnant while the husband is incarcerated. If you want children and your husband is a lifer or close to that, you may not have a choice. It is easy to say you would never choose to have children and raise them on your own... WHO WOULD if given a choice? BUT, if you had the choice of having no children or raising them alone, what would you do?
If you are getting pregnant and your man is a lifer, it's because there is no other option to have children. Those who raised their children as single parents would still say their children are the best thing in their lives... why begrudge women who choose to have children alone over not having them at all?
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  #966  
Old 07-07-2013, 06:59 AM
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I voted no. Not that I would not love to have a baby with my husband. I think that it would take something away from the whole experience. That is something that if we are ever blessed with that I would want to have him there for everything. I want to see that look on his face as the baby grows and he hears the heartbeat for the first time. The love that he will have when he first lays eyes and holds his first baby. For me doing that all while in the DOC would not be what I would want. Let me end it this if something should happen then of course I would have the baby.
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  #967  
Old 07-07-2013, 07:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella69 View Post
I've never seen this post until today, but the last 3 months its all my man wants to talk about. In letters and on the phone, he wants a child with me. Don't get me wrong I'm honoured but it isn't going to happen no conjugal s in Cali and to be 100% honest I don't think I could do it without him. So my answer would be no, but my man would be yes.
It's in the work to prison conjugal's, they call them extended family visits back to California lifers in state prison. There is a whole movement going for that goal.
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  #968  
Old 07-09-2013, 08:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ridin_since_06 View Post
I did it!!!!! Our son just turned 1 month old and I dont regret our decision. My husband has 3 more years to do
how were you able to, did you have to get permission or do you have pivliges.....my man is in USP Pollock and we have no clue how to go about the process
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  #969  
Old 07-09-2013, 08:55 PM
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Yes, I would, he only has 17 mths...so, yes I would especially if it just happened!!
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  #970  
Old 07-10-2013, 04:40 PM
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Mine is a lifer and I would I already have children and I would with him because I love him that much and I know he's never coming home but I know I have very special part of him that I get to see and love everyday
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  #971  
Old 07-21-2013, 03:07 AM
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I'm new to this and not one to usually comment.. But I had to give my opinion. Yes I would, in a second! I knew him before he went in and was willing then. He has 3 older girls and I am currently raising my daughter from a previous relationship on my own. Right now we have life w/o parole. His mama thinks I'm crazy and never let's me forget it but she loves me and my daughter, I would have her support. And we both want a boy. Oh yea I do have the chance and I'm pretty sure we are going to try LATER!

Last edited by L'sCabbagePatch; 07-21-2013 at 03:15 AM.. Reason: Add
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  #972  
Old 07-21-2013, 12:32 PM
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If he was in for life and that was my only option, absolutely I would! Or if I knew he was for sure gonna be out in the next couple months, then I'd definitely at least try. I have fertility issues and he's not getting any younger, so the sooner we can get started the better. Lol
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  #973  
Old 07-23-2013, 11:41 AM
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I'm 5 months pregnant now and my boo has been down for 3 months... It sucks being alone but hopefully he gets out soon!
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  #974  
Old 08-16-2013, 06:16 PM
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Honestly its nice to day dream about But I am already a single mom of 2 beautiful children they are 2&3 years old my daughter is special needs and requires a lot of Time and attention. plus I work a lot! I got my hands too full for anymore at this time in my life.. bit its a nice thought
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  #975  
Old 08-18-2013, 08:38 PM
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My bAby has no kids I have two and first chance I get its on
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