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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: WOULD YOU WAIT FOR HIM IF HE GOT SENTENCED TO MORE THAN 20 YEARS?
YES 372 17.98%
WITHOUT A DOUBT I WOULD 613 29.63%
NO 574 27.74%
NOT REALLY SURE 510 24.65%
Voters: 2069. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 11-04-2005, 08:30 PM
steves_gurl3227 steves_gurl3227 is offline
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Default Would you wait for him if he got 20+ years in prison?

Would You Wait For You Man If He Was Sentenced To More Than 20 Years In Prison?
My Man Was Sentenced To 20 -60 Years In Prison. Some May Find It Stupid That I Am Willing To Wait For Him For How Ever Long He Is In Prison. I Am Marrying Him Next October 31st.
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  #2  
Old 11-04-2005, 08:33 PM
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Yes I would wait for him.
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  #3  
Old 11-04-2005, 08:37 PM
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My hubby is a lifer. I've been down with him for 20 years, so no, i don't think you are crazy!!!
If you are happy then stand by him....live your life to the fullest while he's down, but save yourself for him when he comes home to you.
That's what i have done and i am a very happy woman.

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Old 11-04-2005, 08:46 PM
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Yes I would. Mine got 20. I know it will be a difficult journey, but we've been through alot and vested alot. And I do believe, one day he will be home again
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  #5  
Old 11-04-2005, 08:48 PM
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Of course I would wait for him. I don't know if he'd let me though. He does have the possibility of spending the rest of his life in prison, his sentence is 15-life. He's eligible for parole in 2012 (after serving 15 years). I will wait for as long as it takes, even if I only get one night with him, it'll be worth it.
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  #6  
Old 11-04-2005, 08:49 PM
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wow, i feel really bad. here i was sad because i am going to have to wait 3 years for my man. 3 years isn't anything compared to 20-life. that's really hard to say, but i think for joe i'd wait forever if i had to.
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Old 11-04-2005, 08:54 PM
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You gotta be convicted of doing something really bad to another human to get time like that. I love people and would therefore have issues with even saying I love you to him when I know he's badly hurt others. I'd have to throw him into the pen pal arena and because he looks good and talks an excellent talk, he'd be scooped up right away. Probably married within 6 months to a year and living happily ever after. He'd deserve that happiness, but not with me.

This is just my own feeling. Your feelings are not offensive to me therefore I hope that mine are not offensive to you.
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Old 11-04-2005, 08:56 PM
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My man also has 3 years. You guys are an inspiration to me. That is truly devotion.
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  #9  
Old 11-04-2005, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeSoHandsome
You gotta be convicted of doing something really bad to another human to get time like that. I love people and would therefore have issues with even saying I love you to him when I know he's badly hurt others. I'd have to throw him into the pen pal arena and because he looks good and talks an excellent talk, he'd be scooped up right away. Probably married within 6 months to a year and living happily ever after. He'd deserve that happiness, but not with me.

This is just my own feeling. Your feelings are not offensive to me therefore I hope that mine are not offensive to you.
I used to feel this way, don't get me wrong, I really value human life and I find what my boyfriend did dispicable. I never imagined that I could be with someone who did that, but I know he's a really good person and he's changed ... I think that when people come face to face with the situation a lot changes and you find out who you really are, you know?

Just so you know, there are several crimes that carry harsher sentences than murder, like federal charges of conspiracy to distrubute, things like that ... so it's not always a crime against a person.
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Old 11-04-2005, 08:59 PM
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I definitely would. Mine got a 20 year max outdate anyways.
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  #11  
Old 11-04-2005, 09:02 PM
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Ya Know My Man Didnt Do Anything Bad To Anyone, But No Matter What Your Opinion Is It Is Yours. I Feel The Total Opposite As You. I Love Him And Am Going To Stand By His Side Till The Day I Die.
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  #12  
Old 11-04-2005, 10:01 PM
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I don't think your stupid at all!! My man got 25 years although he is up for parole again in '08, hopefully he will get it but I know there is nothing in stone and he may not walk out of there till 2018. I'll be there till then if I have to be.
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Old 11-05-2005, 02:19 AM
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I'm sorry, but I had to answer no. Simply because of the fact that I would like to have kids and a family, and I wouldn't want to start at the age of 41. I would no doubt be there for him as a friend throughout his whole time, but I would convince/force myself to let go of any romantic attachments I had to him. Despite how much I might love him, I would never be able to have the things I really wanted if he wasn't getting out for 20 more years. I would have to force myself to move on, however hard that may be. But if it works for you, then I say go for it!
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  #14  
Old 11-05-2005, 02:31 AM
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Ray did do something bad to another person, and he got 40 years for it (we've 18 years 11 months til first parole). I knew him only over the puter and phone for 3 months before he did it, we still havent met face to face.

I really dont care if anyone thinks its stupid to wait or not. No one else has lived my life, no one will know the way I know how my life is better now with Ray in it than it ever was doing the 'conventional' family things. For as long as he is my first thought on waking and my last thought at night, I'll wait.
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Old 11-05-2005, 03:28 AM
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Quote:
You gotta be convicted of doing something really bad to another human to get time like that. I love people and would therefore have issues with even saying I love you to him when I know he's badly hurt others.
This isnt true all the time my boyfriend was arrested on a non violent drug charge and was facing 12-25 years if he went to trial and lost and there are people who have recieved life sentences for drug charges.. Not everyone who is in prison serving long sentences hurt people.

Last edited by luischristina; 11-05-2005 at 03:31 AM..
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Old 11-05-2005, 04:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeSoHandsome
You gotta be convicted of doing something really bad to another human to get time like that. I love people and would therefore have issues with even saying I love you to him when I know he's badly hurt others. I'd have to throw him into the pen pal arena and because he looks good and talks an excellent talk, he'd be scooped up right away. Probably married within 6 months to a year and living happily ever after. He'd deserve that happiness, but not with me.

This is just my own feeling. Your feelings are not offensive to me therefore I hope that mine are not offensive to you.
My man has a 25 to life. He has done 23 and I have been with him five. But I owuld do whatever it takes. Just because they have a long sentence DOES NOT mean they have done something really bad to some one. People are wrongly convicted every day as was my man. So, I am sorry but I for one do take offense at peope who automatically assume a person is bad because they have a long sentence.
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Old 11-05-2005, 05:33 AM
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Default I had to answer NO

I had to answer NO to this because to wait is a very very hard thing to do..And to be quite honest I am positive that my man would never want me to do that..He would ask that I keep in contact and things to that nature but I know that he would never expect me to wait on him..He feels that even now waiting as I have that he has me in prison with him..And at times I do feel I am sitting right there with him doing his time..I know that I struggle daily with it and that he is aware of that..But like I tell him I can't just move on just yet and he would be the first to know if I needed too..I wish you the best of luck and much love and prayer..It takes a strong woman to wait that long and I envy any woman that can stand strong and tall by there man for that amount of time..

GOODLUCK TO YOU
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Old 11-05-2005, 07:53 AM
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Ladies, you are correct in what you say about everyone who has sentences like 20-60 years is not because of a violent offence. I did not word my response correctly. What I shoud have said is if his offense was a violent one, and I don't mean violent on paper because I know the DOC has a way of making non violent people look violent on paper, but violent for real.
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Old 11-05-2005, 08:40 AM
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Mt man would expect me to support him emotionally but he would never ask me to put my life on hold for such a long period. He would want me to be there and love him like I do, but he would want me to have a life outside that, if that was the case. I don't know if I could do that, but thats something else.
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Old 11-05-2005, 08:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeSoHandsome
You gotta be convicted of doing something really bad to another human to get time like that.
Not necessarily... there are some people in Federal prisons that are doing 20+ years for drug offences, and people that are in Cali prisons that are under the '3 Strikes' and doing life!
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Old 11-05-2005, 08:48 AM
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my man was wrongly covicted, and we are appealing, so there is that hope that he will be home soon, we pray that the courts will see the simple truth. that he is innocent. and no matter what the outcome may be, i have 4 children 1 with him, but i know that i can wait for him. i am ready and willing. i really dont think my life would be complete with out him.
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Old 11-05-2005, 08:54 AM
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I'd like to think that i would. I know that i would try my hardest, but whether i would succeed or not is another story. i would certainly be there for him though.
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Old 11-05-2005, 09:04 AM
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Default Of Course!

Of course I would wait for my hubby. He was sentenced to 40 yrs. for a drug charge( so some people don't have to commit violent crimes to get long sentences) I have waited 10 years so far and thank GOD he was granted parole with a FI5 this year! But I will wait as long as it takes no matter what others may say. This is MY life and he is MY soulmate. All women who choose to wait are strong women in my opinion.
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Old 11-05-2005, 09:09 AM
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I probably would. Derrick just got 4 years. He told me that I didn't have to wait through this, but I wanted to. Granted 20 years is a long time, and I really respect anyone that can make it through that long of a time.
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Old 11-08-2005, 11:11 AM
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Jamie and I have only been together for a year and he only has 10 more months, but there is no doubt in my mind that if he had to do more I would be there every step of the way. He did 3 years without me. He is always telling me that those were the worst 3 years of his life, but now I give him something to look forward to. I make his life complete. As does he make mine complete.
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