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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: How do you cope (outside PTO and your relationship with your prisoner)
I've statred college 159 24.05%
I work two jobs now 126 19.06%
I go to church and/or pray a lot more 176 26.63%
I spend more time with the kids 251 37.97%
I go out with friends 177 26.78%
I kick it with guy friends (sex not necessarily included) 30 4.54%
I lay in bed and cry most of the time 143 21.63%
I use drugs and alcohol to numb the pain 58 8.77%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 661. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 08-11-2006, 03:57 PM
tkeefover tkeefover is offline
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I have now started a rigid excercise routine. That flab will finally turn to FAB! I spend time with my kids, although since I've started my "drug" this forum, it's been less. Financially, screwed. I work, sometimes cry, pay bills and hope to save our house. This has had it's advantages, meaning it was a wake up call for him to appreciate his family more and do away with his bad choices. But, the rest has been traumatized. I take the love over the house, if I have to sell it, we can always buy another one later. Not to seem strange, in some respect, I would have this happen all over again. That was an odd thing to feel just now, but I really I think I would.
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  #77  
Old 08-11-2006, 04:55 PM
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i voted spend more time with the kids. however, i voted that simply because it was the closest answer to what i really do. i spend the same amount of time with my girls now as i always have. but i am a homebody, i spend most of my time in the house ANYWAY, whether he is here or not. i read alot, spend lots of time researching things on the internet, cleaning, cooking, being with my babies, writing my husband, visiting, and talking to him, being in church, praying, talking to God in general. that's basically my life and i love it...the only thing better that could be is him coming home. that's how i spend time, and the days fly by for the most part...
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  #78  
Old 08-15-2006, 11:19 AM
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By The Grace Of God...and My Babies, They Help A Whole Lot...
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  #79  
Old 08-16-2006, 09:42 PM
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Im starting school so that is helping the time go past...and I write alot too to get my feelings out...and i hang with friends to take the edge of being lonely..and i pray ALLL the time....I MISS HIM SOO MUCH!!
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  #80  
Old 08-19-2006, 10:59 AM
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When he left I picked up a second job to compensate for his income plus we have two kids.
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  #81  
Old 08-19-2006, 07:44 PM
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I don't really cope...i live my life everyday just like always. I don't blame him for not being here...i just love him more for who he is and the father and husband that he is to me and his sons, even though he is in prison. I can't mop and cry...what good is that...I keep God the center of my life and my marriage...and you know what....i seem the be the happiest person with myself and my marriage. I stay strong for my boys and my husband. I pray alot for God to take control of my life for HE knows what is best. Alot of people think that i should be moping because my husband has 30 years....My husband and I say so what! That is what the state gave him...only God knows when he is coming home. To anyone who is struggling hang in there and just give it to God. God Bless!~~~Brandi
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  #82  
Old 08-21-2006, 09:37 PM
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I love this thread!!! I love to hear how women are still doin' the damn thang even with our fellas gone.

I stay BUSY, BUSY, BUSY and make sure to spoil myself and live life to the fullest!! I try to enjoy everyday because whether he is home or jail....tomorrow still is not promised to me.

I hang with my girlfriends, I focus on my career advancement, I volunteer with numerous community organizations, I SHOP like I don't have good sense, I watch too much TV and eat too much DESSERT!
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  #83  
Old 08-22-2006, 07:50 AM
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how do I cope when negative feelings (loneliness, depresson, etc) creep in? ..... deeeeep..... breaths! i remind myself of a few Bible verses (papaphrased here):

2 Corinthians 4:18 fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Psalms 30:5 weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.


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  #84  
Old 08-22-2006, 07:55 AM
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i havent been coping well lately.
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  #85  
Old 09-07-2006, 04:02 AM
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I've found that between work, and my son, and hanging out with friends helps me cope with the loneliness alot. Also, I try to spend as much time with his family (his mom & dad, sisters, and his kids) as I can which is usually once or twice a week. It makes it a little bit better to be able to share some of the time waiting with other people that miss him as much as I do.
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  #86  
Old 09-07-2006, 08:18 AM
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i voted that i started college...which i did...but i also spend more time with my kids and i write my man daily.
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  #87  
Old 09-08-2006, 10:34 AM
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Well I worked full time befor he got busted so I decided to start school again at nights, me and my babies are abel to spend more time with eachother, I've been abel to go out with my friends again and I go to church more often....
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  #88  
Old 09-19-2006, 02:44 PM
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I cope with my baby being away by working and going to school full time.....All i do is staCC my money so he has something to come home 2...I also write him letters alomst everyday and tell him about my day....He's my diary.....He loves it and so do I!!!!!!
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  #89  
Old 12-27-2006, 09:23 PM
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hi i just joined prison talk today i know exactly how you feel my man has been locked up for 4 months.it really sucks and being young many ppl have differnt sayings bout it. do you ever get that? w/b
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  #90  
Old 12-27-2006, 09:30 PM
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i am only 18 years old, I have been with my guy for 10 months he has been locked up for 4 months and its been hard but i love him and i am willing to wait.But till the day he comes out all i do is work take care of my son and now am going to school.I write him everyday and live off the dreams we have.
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  #91  
Old 12-27-2006, 09:40 PM
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Wink Keep Busy!

Since he's been in this time, I have moved out of state, started a new job, helped my 13 year old adjust to a new school and living with her grandparents, and I too have had to adjust again to living with my parents. :shake: Which by the way is not an easy thing to do. But mostly I just try to stay busy, so I don't think about missing him so much. Not that everytime I stop to take a breath I don't think about him, but keeping busy helps.

Froggyz Girl:love:
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  #92  
Old 12-27-2006, 09:42 PM
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My baby will be home in aug of 07... so for now all i do iz work and im goin back to school in next yr..
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  #93  
Old 12-28-2006, 11:18 PM
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Well, I pray alot more!!!!!!!! cause I need it i spend more time with the kids and try to work overtime if it's available. I write alot more I'm addicted to hallmark,ho-hos,chips,and pepsi. also started wriring poetry.
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  #94  
Old 12-29-2006, 12:20 AM
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Well Im a fulltime Mom and I recently signed up for school. Taking care of our son makes the tears stop intil he is asleep. I sometimes clean and other stuff to keep me from thinking where he is at.

Last edited by Mrs.Juan143; 12-29-2006 at 12:22 AM..
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  #95  
Old 12-29-2006, 12:47 AM
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I voted and i choose i started college, go to church, and i cry. I only cry when it gets bad, when it gets too much to handle. I sit on my bed at the dorm when my room mate is gone and just let the tears flow. But mostly I try to just keep busy, but then someone will do something n it will remind me of him or some thing will happen and ill stop and smile and say john does that to. its hard

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  #96  
Old 12-30-2006, 06:23 AM
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I think this is a wonderful thread because we all do things to cope with our situation differently. I work two jobs and take care of 5 kids. Now somedays that is really work in itself. But it does help to stay busy...I cry when i get frustrated and he always knows when i am having a bad day because he will call on a day he isnt generally supposed to...But we work together to get to the end. I have learned to research the system in his state and could probably educate many on what is going wrong in the system in general. However as you well know...many dont want to know what is going on. But i have learned that i have to make myself happy before we can be happy together... so i try to keep a positive attitude and help him keep a positive attitude. We have a set day that he calls so i dont sit here and worry about missing his calls and if he calls and i am not home... he just calls later...Never does he get angry....he knows that i am taking care of our life here and without me doing that we have no life for him to come home too. We write regularly to keep the communication going and i visit about once every three months since it is so far for me to go....he calls once a week and we are always honest. I spend time in prayer and keep a strong faith in our savior as does he. This is what works for us....
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  #97  
Old 12-30-2006, 06:44 AM
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Red face How do you cope?

Quote:
Originally Posted by one_luv
I often see posts on here asking us how we cope with the seperation and waiting for them to come home.
I was curious, how do ya'all cope with the time apart, the loss of income and everything else that comes with loving a prisoner? How do you make it better (excluding your relationship with him and being on PTO)?
For me, I trust in God. Fars the loss of income goes, well, his financial contribution was like a drop in the bucket so while it was appreciated because every little thing counts, it wasn't enough to really make a difference after he left. My husband never worked -- he was always in prison, so for him to be working after he met me, HE REALLY SURPRISED HIMSELF because that was an exerience he hadn't experienced in over 20 sumthin years!!
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  #98  
Old 12-30-2006, 06:59 PM
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Hi, I'm new to this site but not new to waiting and coping because this is my second time waiting on my husband. I know, I know I said I'd never do it again...Anyway the first time he went in I hardly left the house, I never visited anyone unless they came to my house and the phone looked like it was super glued to my ear. This time things have changed because I realized life has to go on with my children and myself even if he is locked up for the next 5 years. I'm stll a faithful wife but I do have a social life, go on vacations when I can afford it and have learned that its okay to laugh because he did this to himself. I'm sure not everyone agree's with my ways of coping but the last time I felt so dead inside without him then he turned around and violated parole for stupid reasons. So as I am angry with him I also understand I only have me to make myself happy for now.
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  #99  
Old 12-30-2006, 08:32 PM
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Well, I actually find it alot easier to write ALOT and vent ALOT to my friend that I met here Goldenglove.

I also pray alot.

And alos another BIGGIE for me, I re-read my letters from Richie. Especially when I need a "Richie Fix."
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  #100  
Old 01-05-2007, 03:44 PM
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Dealing with the money situation has been a little taxing on my nerves, but I have started attending college which is definately going to help keep my mind busy so I will stress about my man being in prison less. The only bad thing about attending college is that my hours at work were cut, so now the money situation has worsened. But I am happy, and he is happy for me, so I guess it's good.
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