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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 05-22-2019, 01:58 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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Default How should i interpret this?

I came in contact with someone who is in prison. he wants to see me see where it leads. he wants to win my whole heart. He has promised many things. but now i have seen on his facebook page that he sister cares about that he is with a woman. his daughter knows nothing. I have written letters to him but takes a very long time before it arrives. I don't really know what to do
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  #2  
Old 05-22-2019, 04:58 PM
BrooklynNatural BrooklynNatural is offline
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Stay away from men you don't know in prison. Also, the more grand the promises and the more he comes on strong he just want someone to ride with him and help him. A man in prison comes home with no job, a record that makes it harder to get a job, issues that he will hide from you that landed him in prison and will probably send him back. The money, time, stress and the fact that you won't really know him till he comes home make it not worth it. Read some of the stories on here and mine included run while u can. Most of them are conartists on the come up risking this life with a stranger is just not worth it.
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  #3  
Old 05-22-2019, 07:08 PM
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I'm not sure how long you've been in contact with this man? But I'm going to be honest with you and a bit blunt at the same time.

It's con's and pro's to the entire MWI okay? It does seem like your new to all of this and with that you must always approach all things with caution. Don't ever get too deep into things and always forever play everything by ear and the feeling of your gut/mind. Sometimes red flags and warnings are right there in front of you! Don't ever make excuses for them or ignore them...those two things are to help you for making any mistakes you'll later regret or prevent you from getting deeply hurt! Other times the red flags and the warnings aren't always right there in front of you to actually catch! But over time you'll start putting 2 and 2 together on a lot of things and notice them! Catch them and follow them...when this happen get out of the entire situation don't ever continue (this why I had mention earlier to always approach all things with caution). Don't never rush into anything because this man wants to see where things will lead with you, wanting to win your whole heart and all the many promises he has made to you. All this take's time to fully know if it's any truth behind what he's saying to you, on top of that you don't know what his full motives are at all. That's something else you must take into consideration about all of this before you go jumping into something you don't know anything much about. If you just want a friendship that's fine but be aware of having just a friendship (most have got used that way..MOST! Not all have gone through this during a simple/harmless friendship).

Start out slow and continue to go slow..because you don't ever get to know a person just in 6 months/etc. You'll forever be getting to know that person, as you'll learn something new about them each day! A man doesn't have to use you to send him money/etc to completely play on your emotions and pull at your heart strings. He could have a different reason to gain from all of this..just to play on your vulnerability because he knows your vulnerable. If he starts asking you to send him money...don't! If he tries to use you for doing a scam/etc. Don't you get yourself involved in any of that and if you ever get the feeling he's doing that or attempting...back up and run the other way and stop corresponding with him completely.. A man will tell you anything that he feels you want to hear and once he's able to get you that way he knows just how to play you accordingly to what he knows so far about you when it comes to words and the many ways of using them.

Not all men on the inside are bad and not all of them are good. What I mean by that is what these men true intentions are when it comes to friendship, relationships and even marriage (that's if it even goes to that level). Most of them have some really messed up intentions and others don't have messed up intentions at all. It's good and bad stories on here about MWI relationships, friendships and marriages (also good and bad stories on here about relationships, friendships and marriages that happened way before incarceration...read those as well). Read up on them and learn from them, take in all the information on these stories (what one might experience, might not be what the next would experience at all. Every experience is different for each individual and sometimes a lot of the experiences does connect). At the end you gotta go into anything with your eyes open wide and be aware of a lot of things! It takes a lot to be in a friendship, relationship or a marriage. It's not easy and it's not glitter or gold at all. It's a lifestyle choice that isn't for everyone. Ask yourself what are your own true intentions for writing to this guy..are you trying to gain something more out of this? Or you just want a friendship strictly only. I know sometimes things happen and it does become more. That's something you'll allow to happen on it's own, without forcing it or rushing into it. That's if it ever goes that far with him or just in general.

At the end you don't want to waste your time and effort on someone that really wasn't out to have anything serious or being genuine with you in the first place (which it seems he's interested in having a relationship with you). Just to past time or just to play games with you. In general you don't want to waste your time or effort on someone that just want to use you in whatever way possible. Caution is the way to go with this and always protect yourself at all times. Take care of yourself first and know your worth and what you stand for as a woman and the queen you truly are (your crown is yours and no man can ever remove your crown from you)! Not every man going to deserve the type of caliber woman you truly are my sister. It's good and bad to everything..but always go into all things with caution and always look out for yourself at all times and protect YOU and your HEART!
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:06 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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I have had a long conversation with the one who seems to have a relationship with. it was true so she actually had to know a few things. then i think she is stupid if she continues with him. but I said I was done with him. because he can do this once, he can do it several times and action says more than words. I also wrote quick lines to him and said it is over. I deserve better
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mejramkap View Post
I have had a long conversation with the one who seems to have a relationship with. it was true so she actually had to know a few things. then i think she is stupid if she continues with him. but I said I was done with him. because he can do this once, he can do it several times and action says more than words. I also wrote quick lines to him and said it is over. I deserve better
Queen! You know your worth and what you deserve all together. He didn't deserve you and you truly deserve better! Trust and believe it's out there somewhere. I'm glad you was woke in all of this and not blind! You learn and you move on. You did the right thing for yourself and cut all ties with this man. If she wants to continue to be with him, it's her choice and she'll see that she's not the only one and will never be the only one. Most men like this always want to play many sides of the fence/walls..want the cake and also eat it! You did good for yourself and I'm very proud of you! I wish you nothing but the best for the future and you'll find the right man that will be straightforward and honest with you without the bull shit!
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:18 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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clearly i am hurt but most i feel stupid. I have to stop believing good at all. but difficult to change how one is as a person.
He really made me believe in him. also got his home number and address
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:21 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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I hope he is out there. but went on very many guys who have done like this guy. I hope I have learned something the hard way. all wounds heal over time.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:23 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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but can't really sleep. the brain is working too much haha clock is in the middle of the night here
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:35 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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If I had not lived in Sweden, he had received some money, but it was not possible to make such a transfer to a prison in the USA. must almost thank my country
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Old 05-22-2019, 09:08 PM
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I'm going to try to respond to each one of your post in this way and order! Bear with me and I hope by the time I'm done you'll stop feeling this way about yourself alright? Queen you gotta pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep moving. It could of been twice worst! Be glad that you saw the signs and the red flags like you did when you did. Don't beat yourself up over this alright? It's a learning experience for anyone..even if it's with someone that's incarcerated or not. You can be used and lied to by a man regardless of the situation! The world is filled with bad to good intentions/motives when it comes to men in general. You'll receive a bad apple in the bunch, not all the apples in the bunch is good!


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Originally Posted by Mejramkap View Post
clearly i am hurt but most i feel stupid. I have to stop believing good at all. but difficult to change how one is as a person.
He really made me believe in him. also got his home number and address
You have the right to be hurt! But don't feel stupid because you gave this man the benefit of a doubt. That he was telling you the truth and you believed his words. Sometimes you can't always believe what one is telling you, unless you truly is able to prove it has truth behind it. This why you must play things by ear and look into it on your own (sometimes your able to put 2 and 2 together. your able to figure things out when something just isn't adding up or connecting properly). A man will give you an image that he wants you to see of him. But you can't always trust in that image he's given. This why you play things by ear and you don't get yourself too deeply involved into anything with that person. Drag like a snail with it you'll be surprised what you'll start catching about what a man is telling you/etc.

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Originally Posted by Mejramkap View Post
I hope he is out there. but went on very many guys who have done like this guy. I hope I have learned something the hard way. all wounds heal over time.
Don't hope! The right man is out there somewhere and when it's your time to have him. He'll show himself to you! Not all dudes are bad and not all of them are good. But it's someone out here that's truly PREFECT/RIGHT for only YOU! Just don't give up and take your time picking men. Sometimes when you been hurt by one type of guy. Usually, you'll continue to pick those type of guys that will hurt you just like the last one did. It's time to be more picky and be more caution about your choice in men in general. Sometimes you got to learn that lesson a few times before you realize that you've learned that lesson enough! You'll heal and you'll see what your worth truly is and not every man you come across is worth that part of you! Never let a man tell you what he thinks you want to hear! When he's able to catch onto that part of you he's going to always play right off it. A man should never be able to tell you what you want to hear or think he knows what you want to hear him say. Let him keep thinking and wondering/trying to figure you out. When he see's he can't play games with you...he'll eventually move the hell on with his lame ass boy approach/ways.

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If I had not lived in Sweden, he had received some money, but it was not possible to make such a transfer to a prison in the USA. must almost thank my country
Thank goodness for living in Sweden. I'm glad you wasn't able to send him any of your hard earning money. Besides he didn't deserve your money, you aren't his atm! You dodge a missile with this one and this didn't become a regret or mistake where you'll have to live with, if it had happened. Luckily it didn't happen but take this as a learning lesson to not send no man money when he ask you for it. That's not just with this situation! It's for any type of situation in general.
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Old 05-22-2019, 11:48 PM
nawlinsrainy nawlinsrainy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrooklynNatural View Post
Stay away from men you don't know in prison. Also, the more grand the promises and the more he comes on strong he just want someone to ride with him and help him. A man in prison comes home with no job, a record that makes it harder to get a job, issues that he will hide from you that landed him in prison and will probably send him back. The money, time, stress and the fact that you won't really know him till he comes home make it not worth it. Read some of the stories on here and mine included run while u can. Most of them are conartists on the come up risking this life with a stranger is just not worth it.
I learned all this the hard way too lol
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  #12  
Old 05-22-2019, 11:55 PM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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This became a useful lesson. not to initiate anything deeper while the person is in prison. but take it in snail speed.
Thank you for your nice words
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Old 05-24-2019, 09:46 AM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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I've done my closer to that guy. sent a letter just said what I liked about him. Were no kind words in. Had to hurry to post it before I regretted what I wrote. then I find it difficult to be mean
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Old 05-24-2019, 10:16 AM
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Good for you. Wash your hands of this and move on.
Wish you all the best.
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Old 05-30-2019, 03:59 AM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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have heard that he thought I was easy. though it was he who manipulated me by giving out his address and number and wrote so that I would really understand that he was serious
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Old 06-01-2019, 12:36 AM
Ohyesboo55 Ohyesboo55 is offline
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he has a facebook page?! times have changed, let it go and move on. it will save you a whole lot of heartache in the long run. ��
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Old 06-01-2019, 12:47 AM
Mejramkap Mejramkap is offline
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Yeah i am so over him. He can go and fuck himself (sorry )
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