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  #1  
Old 06-03-2016, 06:46 PM
OhioPenPal OhioPenPal is offline
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Smile Writing more than once a week?

Hello everyone,
I am new around here and I sincerly hope I am posting this in the right forum.
I am a penpal, who is a bit addicted to the mail (it's a great escape from technology) and I write to all sorts of people inside and outside the United States and with and without freedom. There are several MWIs that I love writing to every week, and we have great conversation. There is one young man that I get along with extremely well, and he's incarcerated in Ohio, about 3 hours away. If I get multiple letters one day, he is always the one I respond to first. I made it very clear that this cannot and will not turn into a romantic relationship and he agrees but we undeniably have a connection.
He has mentioned wanting me writing to him more often, usually it's one letter a week and I never send one before receiving his. So I guess what I'm asking is:
1) do you think this would be the beginning of a slippery slope in which neither of us is able to keep our feelings in check and
2) how does writing multiple letters each week work? This sounds like a dumb question. But does it get confusing? Is it more like there is one running conversation and the in between letters are just short "interesting things that happened today"?. How many do you guys send each week?

I hope I am making sense, he's got me a little flustered and I want the best outcome for both of us. Any insight you could give me would be greatly appreciated, and I hope these questions have not already been answered and I somehow missed them.
Thanks in advance
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  #2  
Old 06-04-2016, 05:40 AM
FLnurse13 FLnurse13 is offline
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I write my pp pretty much every day. I only have one though, and I've known him for a very long time. To answer your questions:

1. Yes. Well, maybe. It's easy to become attached.
2. He writes me back several times a week so we just respond to whatever was in that day's letter (for ongoing conversations), as well as whatever happened in our lives that day. Some days when I don't have a letter from him to respond to/nothing new and exciting to say, I will print him out a funny or interesting article and just write a quick note to say "hi".
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Old 06-04-2016, 07:07 AM
Dobbie_Elf Dobbie_Elf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioPenPal View Post
Hello everyone,
I am new around here and I sincerly hope I am posting this in the right forum.
I am a penpal, who is a bit addicted to the mail (it's a great escape from technology) and I write to all sorts of people inside and outside the United States and with and without freedom. There are several MWIs that I love writing to every week, and we have great conversation. There is one young man that I get along with extremely well, and he's incarcerated in Ohio, about 3 hours away. If I get multiple letters one day, he is always the one I respond to first. I made it very clear that this cannot and will not turn into a romantic relationship and he agrees but we undeniably have a connection.
He has mentioned wanting me writing to him more often, usually it's one letter a week and I never send one before receiving his. So I guess what I'm asking is:
1) do you think this would be the beginning of a slippery slope in which neither of us is able to keep our feelings in check and
2) how does writing multiple letters each week work? This sounds like a dumb question. But does it get confusing? Is it more like there is one running conversation and the in between letters are just short "interesting things that happened today"?. How many do you guys send each week?

I hope I am making sense, he's got me a little flustered and I want the best outcome for both of us. Any insight you could give me would be greatly appreciated, and I hope these questions have not already been answered and I somehow missed them.
Thanks in advance
Hello, write more to the guy that wants more letters, but only if you want to. And as for the 'slippery slope' as you put it, why would writing more than 1 letter a week lead to a relationship?. Another thing...a M.W.I. is meant to reference a romantic relationship between the pen pal and his/her inmate. Hence the Met While Incarcerated " M.W.I " initials.
Don't be flustered by his want for more letters, mail means a lot to the inmates. He isn't asking you to be his girlfriend or wife . Just for more than 1 letter per week.

Last edited by Dobbie_Elf; 06-04-2016 at 07:15 AM.. Reason: Spelling
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Old 06-19-2016, 04:53 PM
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TawnyStar TawnyStar is offline
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You seem to enjoy the correspondence with this friend, so if you want to write more too then don't hold back and do it! Here are my answers to your specific questions:

1) Yes, it is a slippery slope. Writing penpals can be a form of intimate sharing. And the things one is willing to talk about in them (their history, experiences, ideas, their family, and even secret divulging) ascertains a close relationship that can easily feel intimate in time. Given some of the right combinations, this can also make one feel (or confuse) it with romance and feel the desire to proceed. A lot of people go into it, get into a relationship, and then later tout that they were blindsided! I always think it's best to be aware of the possibilities/way it works, and it sounds like you are. Take it as it comes. Don't be afraid. You can refashion it along the way if you want or need to. I have been particularly close to some of my penpals, even had momentary flushes that I let pass through me, and managed to stay just friends (and was very glad afterwards that I didn't think to proceed any further).

2) FLnurse13 said it very well. I'm an avid writer and commonly write more than once a week. Depending on the mode of communication the turnaround could be quite long. So letters overlap and overlap. It's not confusing. You just respond to the letter you've just received, continuing the threads therein. Then you add whatever you want and how your day is, etc, and start new threads. If I don't get a letter and feel like writing anyways, I'll write a shorter one or send a card, etc. It's the same as conversing with someone on a regular basis IRL. Subjects are not always linear and require a beginning and end before you can introduce a new one haha. You'll quickly get the hang of it
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