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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: How do you cope (outside PTO and your relationship with your prisoner)
I've statred college 158 24.16%
I work two jobs now 124 18.96%
I go to church and/or pray a lot more 174 26.61%
I spend more time with the kids 248 37.92%
I go out with friends 177 27.06%
I kick it with guy friends (sex not necessarily included) 30 4.59%
I lay in bed and cry most of the time 143 21.87%
I use drugs and alcohol to numb the pain 57 8.72%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 654. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 01-05-2007, 09:40 PM
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I have been doing a lot more praying. Praying that when he gets out he will be able to make it and live the life he wants and deserves. I work a lot and I am also taking a class this coming semester for my masters. I know the class will definitely keep me occupied. We talk on the phone and keep the letters coming from both ends. When we talk and I get a letter from him it is almost feels like I get to see him at those times. I cry to him a lot and let him know how much I miss him and he is so caring and sweet about my emotional times.
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  #102  
Old 04-24-2007, 10:51 AM
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to help me cope with missing JJ so much, i hang out with my friends... we go out to dinner together or to the movies. I talk on the phone a lot with my girlfriends...
Play with my son at the park or read to him...
But being with my friends does help a lot, they are always there when I need them to be...
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  #103  
Old 04-24-2007, 08:20 PM
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Well for me I am still finding ways to cope. I just take it day by day. I work full time but I still think about him. There are times that I cry, times that I am mad and times that I am so confused. I let him know how I feel and what I am going through and he does the same with me. I am really wanting next year to come now.
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  #104  
Old 04-24-2007, 08:54 PM
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I cope by focusing on the future. I write him everyday and keep busy taking care of myself, setting up our baby's room (he'll be here by june 9th), talking to family and friends on the computer, and praying when I feel really down. I also keep a countdown calendar--only 15 days left .
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  #105  
Old 04-24-2007, 08:58 PM
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wow, that poll was carzy hard to choose... i do a bunch of those things!!

two jobs
lay in bed crying
guy friends...
school
temple...
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  #106  
Old 04-24-2007, 09:00 PM
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I PRAY A LOT, Spend time with a group of woman who are awesome & supportive without being judgemental or his family and mine, take time to take care of me like getting fresh air, getting a pedicure, it's springtime so I'll be doing alot of gardening planting flowers and veggies. swimming, writing poetry, we talk on the phone & write each other 3 times a week. I visit him.(it's a 4 hr drive just getting there) Work overtime ever other week. Recently I've done some volunteer work in the community were we live. Some times I scream out loud when I get upset cause I can not hold him when i'm sleeping. At night is the hardest part for me
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  #107  
Old 05-04-2007, 10:53 AM
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we just have to cope.
but there seems to be no way to really cope with it.
but we have to try.
for me, i'm in college so i'm usually busy with school and daily activities...
i pray a lot more, now that he's in.
i think about him a lot, and write him letters.
i think about our future.
i visit him whenever i can.
that's about all i can do.
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  #108  
Old 05-07-2007, 10:55 PM
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That is the million dollar question! Me, personally, don't know how I've done it so far. I picked up extra hours at work, not for the money, just because my head was constantly thinking, wondering, playing the what ifs and buts. I was in college when I met my prince charming and when all hell broke loose, I just couldn't focus, my studies went out the window, So 2.5 years later, I now enroll back in college. hard, yes VERY. I lost my friends, I been living a life from home to work from work to home. But I'm standing and refuse to give up. we have to always say to ourselves move forward, OK one more day that i got by and he's closer to coming home. this doesn't mean that we are not normal, I have those days that I sit down and cry like a baby even started fighting with my own self ,scary, nahhh. I called those days my own personal emotional battle, But don't forget move forward.........here for you one luv
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  #109  
Old 05-07-2007, 11:07 PM
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I am not sure how I get through each day...I work and go home... I really don't know how I keep my sanity...He always tells me how strong I am...I guess I must be stronger than I give myself credit for.
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  #110  
Old 05-11-2007, 11:30 PM
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I work and take care of children.
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  #111  
Old 05-12-2007, 10:18 PM
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I cope by seeing like... I mean yeah I may not have the best situation in the world but it has to be worse on him... I couldnt imagine having to live like that and never being able to break down always having to be strong... having to adapt and having to survive... yeah we do those things too but not out of fear that the people right next to us could become an enemy in a second... so I guess I cope the same way he does by knowing that I'm not alone... he is living it and I am living it. Outside of that... my jobs allow me to interact with people and help them in lil ways so I feel good about myself and that helps me cope... friends ofcourse are important but may not really understand what you are going through even if they really want to...
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  #112  
Old 05-14-2007, 03:29 PM
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...Ouside PTO!!!.
My activities in Church keeps me goin' and tell you I choose to take the positive most of the time and he does not understsand.
Ofcourse, work takes his role.
I catch up with my girlfriends.
I spend a lot of time on my laptop.
Somedays...just sleep and can't be bothered.
At times...I feel like singing...dancing...eating all the chocolate in the house.
A lot of hours in writing to him.
...It just goes on...no idle hands.
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  #113  
Old 05-14-2007, 06:04 PM
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i have 2lives the gurly that works full time and spends the rest of her time solving family disputes,then i board a bus going to see my man where my second life begins,i basically do the norm to keep busy shop,movies,dinner and work that has been my crutch for the yrs my man been inside.sometimes i get down but its normal everyday the sun does'nt shine and the same goes for our moods were entitle to feel some kinda way
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  #114  
Old 05-16-2007, 12:06 PM
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Default How do you cope?

Well, I work and go to school full-time. That keeps me really busy. I also chat on the phone with my friends alot. Sometimes I go out places to keep my mind clear of my relationship situation. It can be very depressing, but you have to do something to make you feel better.
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  #115  
Old 05-16-2007, 01:23 PM
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Default How Do I Cope

Well i am a sinlge mother of three boys plus I work full-time job so that right there keeps me pertty busy. but still i am missing my guy but keeping busy dose help alot.
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  #116  
Old 05-17-2007, 10:59 PM
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I have 2 kids and am 8 1/2 months pregnant..not only am I having the baby by myself but, we have an eviction notice not because I have not paid rent but, because of Ricks behavior here before he went in 3 weeks ago...I feel I am not coping well... I can't eat , sleep nor focus and function. I am hoping it will get better as I have been praying really hard and feel that life can't get much worse at this exact moment. My few friends ,his family and my family won't really have much to do with me at this time they think I should give my baby up and forget about Rick and move on. I love him very much he's not a BAD person just makes idiotic choices and decisions that get him in trouble...this is MY personal "coping" opinion today...perhaps I will write again in a few months after baby and I get a job and a home and things are looking better and more positive....

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  #117  
Old 05-21-2007, 09:45 AM
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I Spend Time With My Son. I Hang Out With My Momz. I Have A Few Friends (girls) That Come Over And Hang Out Sometimes. I Work, And I Am Planning To Go Back To College In Aug. Depends On Money And Time, But I'd Really Like To Get Focused On Futhering My Education. But For The Most Part No Matter What I Am Doing I Am Thinking Of Him, What Is He Doing Now, Wish He Was Here To Share This, And Things Like That.
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  #118  
Old 05-21-2007, 09:48 AM
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At the beginning I felt like going crazy and could hardly cope. But then I decided to do nice things for myself to get my energy back so I can be there for him and support him. So now when I really feel down I go out with my friends, or just go for very long walks outside in the nature just find myself a nice place whit nobody else around to sit down and think about the nice time we will have when he is back. Really helps a lot. And if I really feel down, well I just write letters or paint some funny things for him.

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  #119  
Old 06-11-2007, 10:22 PM
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I work all the time and when i dont work i am sleeping or writing him letters or just playing with my nephews to pass the time by!
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  #120  
Old 06-11-2007, 10:33 PM
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Not sure how to vote.

I've always really spent mad time with the kids, but now my 5 year old is in t-ball and dance (kinda to keep her mnd off the whole situation) and I still work the same time. On the weekends now we go to Six Flags for a bit...

At night after they go to bed I sit and cry and just found PTO so this helps
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  #121  
Old 06-11-2007, 10:46 PM
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I take it one day at a time. Some days are worse than others, as we all know. I work. I tend to 3 children. 2 boys 17 & 15, one daughter 12. I write poetry and send most to him. I hold it all down. What else is there. Life still goes on for us. Hard as it may be, that's just the way it is.
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  #122  
Old 06-16-2007, 01:14 AM
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I'm not coping yet! I have an almost 2-year old daughter, a two month old son and a almost 10 year old step son and 12 year old stepdaughter (who just started her period!) and the entire financial responsiblity of the household, no income, my man was my only friend here, I have no family, his family is funny-style, I have two semesters left to a bachelor's degree hanging over my head. My man's ex wife is back in jail in Canada so the kids won't even be spending the summer with her like I thought they would. It's only been two months, almost three now and I'm waiting for our lawyers to put in his appeal so he can come home before we loose our house and everything we've built together. Right now my phone is blocked and I haven't spoken to my Dahdi in three whole days! Thank God I found this site, at first I just needed information, but I'm blowing it up tonight! I should be sleeping.

Last edited by MissQ; 06-16-2007 at 01:15 AM..
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  #123  
Old 06-16-2007, 01:40 AM
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Other than the big one: talking to my guy. I volunteer, and spend more time with my family.
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  #124  
Old 06-28-2007, 10:55 AM
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Hello everyone
My man is locked up also he is in a class d facality and he hates. It I write him letters and mail one out at least every other day. I also work and stay focus and busy with out three kids. I hope and pray this bad dream is over soon!
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  #125  
Old 06-28-2007, 05:35 PM
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when he first went in, i was miserable and depressed, but i realized i cant do this to myself..........i dont have any children of my on but i do spend alot of time with all my neices and nephews.........and more than anything im privileged to have my family stand by me through this.........
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