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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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Old 03-29-2010, 09:03 PM
abcdefg123 abcdefg123 is offline
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Question I have a feeling that my friend is using again...

Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl and at the beginning of the school I met a 17 year old boy, we quickly became best friends. He's a great person, and is an awesome friend of mine. From what I know about him, he use to live in another state with his father and several of his other brothers. He caused a lot of trouble there and was sent to live with his mother in my state. To me he has never elaborated on the extent of trouble that he got himself into, he only told me that he stole a lot but I've learned from one of his good friends that it was mainly due to drugs; and that he has used heroin before, and that his mother was also a heavy drug user. When he moved to my state, 2 years ago he got clean for awhile, made some new friends here and everything was good. Now, he stayed back a grade doesn't have many friends and has a very stressful life(mother is divorced, constantly in fights with mom's boyfriend, getting kicked out of his house etc.) and I'm pretty certain that he is starting to get back into drugs. He always smoked cigarettes but now his smoking has increased a lot, he steals money from his mother all the time, we use to hang out at his house every weekend; now he's always making excuses about why he can't hang out on weekends to avoid any of his friends visiting his house, he comes to school smelling like smoke, he stays up all night for days in a row; and then will sleep for days straight after that, he has rapid mood swings, he'll get in strange moods when he's really fidgety (uncontrolled tapping his foot, has to walk around at lunch several times pacing the hallways), he has unexplained cuts/scratches covering his arms, admits that in the past weekend he's done things with his band that he shouldn't have done; but wont elaborate on this and he is constantly in trouble at school, always skipping classes and is going to have to repeat his current grade again.

-Are these signs of a possible drug addiction?
-How should I go about asking him about this without him getting mad/defensive, we haven't been friends for that long but I feel there is nobody else to help him?
-If he does admit that hes up to something, what should I say/do?
-Anything else I should know about dealing with somebody like this?

Thanks so much, I hope that you guys can offer advice on this subject for me, as it would be greatly appreciated

Last edited by abcdefg123; 03-29-2010 at 09:04 PM..
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Old 03-29-2010, 09:15 PM
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One of my really good friends is in prison right now for 3 years because he got addicted to heroin and ended up breaking into a house and doing some really stupid stuff. And his girlfriend was pregnant when this happened, she was also using heroin but quit when she found out about the pregnancy. I don't think that you want to see your friend go down the road that mine did. These are absolutely a SIGN that there is something going on with him. I'm not really sure how I would go about confronting him about it. But my advice would be to go see a counselor at school since I don't think you can go directly to his mother. Does he get along with his dad at all? I would go to a counselor at school and tell them exactly what you just said here. Drug problems are nothing to take lightly. That's the best advice that I can give you. Good luck! And hang in there.
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Old 03-29-2010, 09:25 PM
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Thank you so much for your response. And I definetely do not want to see how go down the road that your friend went down. Going directly to his mother is not an option because she has her own problems with drugs, and they do not get along at all. I've never met his father, and I'm not sure about his relationship with his father either. As far as I know they live in two different states and are rarely in contact.

I don't believe seeking help from anybody at school is an option either, he was "temporarily expelled" last week, and was only aloud back on the circumstances that if he did one more thing to get him in trouble he would be expelled. I'm afraid if I tell a teacher or somebody at the school about my suspicions, he will get caught having something on him and will end up getting expelled.
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Old 03-29-2010, 10:01 PM
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Oh, Babygirl- You are so very young to be learning one of life's hardest lessons... When someone has a drug problem, there is very little you can do to protect them from themselves until and unless they want to change.... and I hope your friend is ready.
I also hope he really is just a friend and that you're not romantically involved... I was your age when someone else's addiction broke my heart the first time and it's not a pain I would wish on anyone.

Boys Town National Hotline, 1-800-448-3000, is available 24 hours a day and it's confidential... they can offer you and your friend guidance, help finding resources and many other services. Please call them.... it's what I'd want my niece to do if she felt she couldn't come to her mom or to me.
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Last edited by LeBeau; 03-29-2010 at 10:03 PM..
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Old 03-29-2010, 10:19 PM
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Even if he is temporarily expelled, you could still talk to someone at school. You wouldn't want to not say anything and have something happen to him. I would definitely be calling the hot line that LeBeau gave you. They can give you advice on how to really tackle this. You are so young and this is bigger than you, it's okay to ask for help.
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Old 03-30-2010, 12:10 PM
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Thank you both for your responses You've both been a huge help, I will be calling that hotline ASAP; I need to wait until I'm alone to call I don't want my parents to overhear that phone conversation. Thanks again
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