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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #26  
Old 06-14-2005, 06:05 PM
brat2070 brat2070 is offline
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I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL AND IT IS HARD TO LOVE A PERSON WITH AN ADDICTION BUT YOU NEED TO REMEMBER THAT HIS ACTIONS AND BEHAVIORS DO NOT DICTATE WHO HE IS INSIDE, HE NEEDS TO GET HELP AND IF YOU STAY STRONG AND LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR HIM AND WILL DO WHATEVER IT RTAKES FOR HIM, THAT TAKES HIM ONE STEP CLOSER TO CHANGE, IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT WE CANNOT ENABLE THE ADDICTION CAUSE IF WE DO, THINGS WILL ALWAYS SPIN OUT OF CONTROL ALOT OF PEOPLE DONT THINK THEY CAN AFFORD HELP BUT THERE ARE MANY PLACES LIKE THE SALVATION ARMY AND CEDAR HOUSES THAT OFFER HELP TO ADDICTS... IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL BACK UP HIS WORDS WITH ACTIONS AND IF HE DOESNT SOMETIMES WE NEED TO GET A LITTLE HARD TO LET THEM KNOW THEY COULD LOOSE THEIR LOVE, FAMILY AND ALL THAT MATTERS TO THEM...... STAY STRONG AND REMEMBER SOMETIMES TRULY LOVING SOMEONE IS THE HARDEST THING TO DO
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  #27  
Old 06-14-2005, 10:12 PM
MTsFab5 MTsFab5 is offline
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louis'sgirl says it all when she says"yes, they need us most now BUT what about when we needed them"
I must say that I just discovered this forum and wish I found it a long time ago...My husband went in for a felony drunk driving last year and placed in a Drug/Alcohol Correctional Center in March..he will be getting out in October sometime and as the time is flying by, I am feeling so many mixed emotions about this. This is his first bout in prison but "our" 5th OWI and quite frankly, I just got used to life without him and now the thought of getting used to life with him again is scarey. I still love him but have gotten used to the quiet stability that life has brought to myself and our kids since he has been gone. He says he wants to change and he is sick of the life he was living but as we all know here, that doesn't always mean they will change. On some days, I wake up and think I cannot wait until he comes home and I am positive that prison is what it had to take for him to stay sober but other days, I wake up and think "what if it isn't, what if I have wasted all this time believing in something that just isn't going to happen" UGH! Its so frustrating and overwhelming and the time will be here before I know it and I have to ask myself if I have the strength to go through another disappointment or do I enjoy the predictability that each day brings since he has been gone? Any advice on dealing with the release of our addicted loved ones?????
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  #28  
Old 06-15-2005, 07:29 AM
joey's wife joey's wife is offline
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I agree with all of this. I have never used any drugs so it has been hard for me to understand how anyone can put drugs 1st....I married my husband 5 years ago. He was paroled from prison. Our 1st year was great and then I found he was using coke. I couldn't believe I was so blind. I am in the medical field...I made him leave 4 times because of drugs.This last time his PO said this is enough so they revoked his parole,he has been out for 7 years...He was just sent to Kirkland R&E 06-02-05 after spending 2 months in county jail. He has given his life back to God and says he wants up to try again....Well I told him I will write to him but not sure I can go to a prison...Jail was bad enough for me to visit....I would almost have a panic attach everytime I went.I told him I have to see change and he can't just come back as if nothing had happened..His love for coke and porn just about destroyed me so be careful..They do this on their own but then if you really love them you want to believe they can change,atleast I do..If God stays at teh center of their lives I do believe in healing so I am claiming this for my husband...Don't know how long he will have to stay but I like my peaceful life as it is so I just take one day at a time and when asked what I am going to do about (Joey) I say I don't know I just pray.......Sheila
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  #29  
Old 11-12-2006, 05:59 PM
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hmmarshall hmmarshall is offline
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AmyLynn~ My man was a meth addict for 15 years before we met and told me so on the day we met and he knew if he returned to drugs he'd loose me. He slipped a couple of times and I didnt handle it there I let it slid because I loved him and now he's in prison and told a judge he was on meth heroin and crack when he beat me. although he was lying about the crack, the other two together were enough to make this man nuts!!!! He went from being kind and reasonable on minute to paranoid and irrational the next!! And people try to judge him and I and say the drugs were an excuse but I know him better than anyone in this world. No matter what he did to me, he is my best friend, my love, my life and my heart!!! But drugs or no drugs he's still the man I fell in love with!!!!
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  #30  
Old 11-29-2006, 08:07 PM
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dmc123 dmc123 is offline
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Default Love a drug addict I need to move on.

My girlfriend has been in jail for the 3 time in two years for drugs. She is addicted to herion she recently served 2 months and was released. While in jail she told me she never wanted to do that stuff again. When she got out she was to see me after two months she disappaered for the night. Said, went over a friends house. I know in my heart she got high. Six 6 days after being out she did herion again even knowing she get drug tested. After a week of fighting about her doing drugs she broke up with me. She was in the city with all her old drugs friends she told me just chilling. 14 days after her released she was arrested and charged with Posession of cocaine she is back in jail. She told me she did not have drugs on her the other person did. This is another lie. Why would three people be in a vacant rooming house room that building is known for drug dealing and all three have crack on them. Drug addicts lie and lie and lie. I am trying to break free, its hard when you love someone. I realize I am hurting my self mental and cannot bear all this stress. They all promise to stop. She looks me streight in the face and tells me she is not doing drugs just hanging out. (with people that all so drugs?) The Police got the arrest wrong she did not have crack on her, but she had 4 narcotic pills. Just another lie read the arrest report. I want to be free from her disease, I tried of hoping she will stop she doesn't want to. Alway remember they love there drug of choice more then anything in the world. Herion is relentless while in jail she dreamed of doing it almost every night. I wish.... I wish that we can be together and happy and her drug free. But wishes are for children and it is time for me to grow up. I have to stop saying I cannot let her down. I cannot listen to her say you have always been there for me don't stop. As I read the threads I see people say things have been great for three weeks or longer. But it is short lived.

Yes she is beautiful and full of energy and cheers my days and when she touches me I feel loved. But she touch many men for money for her Herion, she do what ever they want. I do not think people can give up herion I read that only 10 percent do. Herion is the relentless cry in the mind, the mind is crying out for its master HERION.

I hope someone can give me a story of someone drug free for years.
Can you suggest how to walk away with out so much pain.
DMC
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  #31  
Old 11-30-2006, 06:49 AM
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Billy'sBabygirl Billy'sBabygirl is offline
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DMC,

My guy has been addicted to herion for over 3 years now. I've tried walking away so many times before. And I couldn't. The pain is so great. This year, I tossed him out of the house twice. The second time was easier, but he landed in jail for a bunch of charges. He has been transferred by the court to a halfway house. I know, He knows I can't live this life anymore. He knows if he messes up, He will spend 4+ years backup time in DOC. So maybe in 4yrs (after his probation has ended). We will be part of the 10%. Until then I just take it one day at a time. He's been clean for 7 months now. Though that's not along time, but in the life of an addict, it's years for them.
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  #32  
Old 11-30-2006, 12:22 PM
Ruddsgrl1 Ruddsgrl1 is offline
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Loving an addict can be hard! Just Be careful! My recent ex is a alchoholic and he dumped me for the first thing that came along once he got out of prison. So please be careful!

Wendy
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