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Old 10-09-2006, 12:37 PM
Blue Dice Blue Dice is offline
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Default My brother got arrested!!

I posted a while back that my brother has been home now for a little while, when I say a little while I mean like 9 months. He was arrested Friday and I just found out today. My mother didnít want to ruin my weekend. He was arrested for having a hunting knife on him as well as drugs. He is on his second strike and we are hoping they are not going to use the knife as a felony. I think they will only use it as a violation but we will see. He goes to court tomorrow. He also didnít show up at his last meeting with his parole officer so they were looking for him anyway. He didnít go because he knew he was going to get a dirty test. I have already prepared myself for the worst. I have actually just been waiting to get the phone call. I got it today and I am so pissed off I could just scream. Out of everyone in our family I have put the most into trying to make sure he stayed on the right path. I just feel like I didnít do enough. I would have given him my last dollar to help him and to help him stay clean and start a fresh new life, but he chose the drugs again and there was nothing I could do. Now I have to deal with the lawyers all over again, deal with him going back in all over again, and deal with my mother and her heartbreak. I am just so sick over the whole thing I could just cry and cry for days. Now we are all right back in the hurry up and wait game to see what is going to happen and how long he will be back in again.

Thanks for listening and letting me get this off my chest.

~M~
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Old 10-09-2006, 01:27 PM
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Wow, I am so sorry to hear this. But you can't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault that your brother has made bad choices, yet again. He has to want to help himself. You can't force change onto anyone, if they don't want it for themselves. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.
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Old 10-09-2006, 01:47 PM
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Sweetie it's not your fault that your brother has chosen to go back to the way he was! You sound like a real good sister that loves her brother alot! Been there done that! You can't choose his life for him!
He has to make his own choice's! And live with them! You have done all you can for him! Just be there for him now and let him know you still love him! Thats all you can do now!
Good luck and God Bless!
~Cathy~
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Old 10-09-2006, 03:05 PM
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Sorry you're even having to go through this! I know it's hard for you right now and I'm sure you've given him your best. But it's up to HIM! He has to want more and want to change. No matter how much you give and give it will never be enough until he is ready to walk the right path.

Hang in there, but like other's have said, don't beat yourself up you did your best, now it's up to him to make the right choices.
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Old 10-09-2006, 03:17 PM
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One thing you need to know is that it's not your fault at all. You did what you could do for your brother. The thing is. . . We can't change people, they have to want to change themselves. And if their forced into something more than likely it won't last. I'm really sorry you and your family have to travel down a similar path again. I will keep you all in my prayers.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
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Old 10-09-2006, 03:18 PM
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Yeah, it's a bitch fighting addiction. I don't know anyone who's succeeded in doing it on someone else's behalf, though. And perhaps you shouldn't be dealing with the lawyer and going through all of that again; your mom is obviously a different story, you can't not deal with her pain. But if your brother hasn't hit bottom yet, then it may be that you have to let him - let him deal with his own lawyer, with his own parole violation, with the liklihood of going back. It may be what he needs. That's not comforting, I know, but he's got to not mistake your help for permitting his addiction.
Peace!
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Old 10-09-2006, 05:53 PM
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I just want to say thank you to all of you for your support. I am getting to go and visit him tonight and I think it's going to be rough and hard seeing him but I have to do it.

I know he is the one that has to deal with his drug problem and I am willing to let him do that. When I saw that no matter what I was doing for him was helping him I let him fall. I had too, I had to do it for him, and for my own sanity. I love him, yes, but he is a grown man and he has to learn what everyone else has to learn.

I was saying that I have to deal with the lawyers because I am the one that pays for them. I did it in his last arrest and I will do it with this one as well. He may have a drug problem and he may get in trouble, but he deserves the best I can get for him to make sure he is treated right. That is just me, I do it because I love him and my mother. It's hard to just let go and say you deal with it, when you know how hard he tried and just could not over come the power that drugs had over him. I just can't sit back and not do something to let him know that we still care. He has to know that he has family that loves him and will stand behind him, to me that is what is going to get him to go straight. I am not in any way a pushy person and I didn't push him and that is why I said I don't feel like I did enough. He is going to have to deal with this again, and this time there will not be any camps for him like before, he going to have to go right back into prison and that is where he is going to stay. I am hoping with that, he will see just what prison is really like. That is nothing like the camp he just left. We will see and I will keep my fingers crossed for him, however, I will never stop loving him or supporting him in anyway.

Again thanks to everyone for all your kind words and listening to me while I was about to go crazy..

~M~


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Originally Posted by nimuay
Yeah, it's a bitch fighting addiction. I don't know anyone who's succeeded in doing it on someone else's behalf, though. And perhaps you shouldn't be dealing with the lawyer and going through all of that again; your mom is obviously a different story, you can't not deal with her pain. But if your brother hasn't hit bottom yet, then it may be that you have to let him - let him deal with his own lawyer, with his own parole violation, with the liklihood of going back. It may be what he needs. That's not comforting, I know, but he's got to not mistake your help for permitting his addiction.
Peace!
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Old 10-21-2006, 12:28 AM
JMC'sBabygirl JMC'sBabygirl is offline
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good luck scojay. he is lucky to have you as a sister.
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