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GPT Phones, Mail, and Visitation Discussions Please post topics or discussions here that do not fit in the appropriate state or federal forums.

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  #1  
Old 06-07-2010, 10:15 PM
richieslady richieslady is offline
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Default Whats up with this? He doesnt want me to send anymore cards?

Well i thought i posted this last night but -? Anyway i need advice my man had whent to ad seg awhile back so i start sending him cards like almost everyday to put a smile on his face he was telling me he loves it when i send him cards well last night he was tell me not to send no more so im all butthurt but im all thinking if maybe theres more behind it ? Is he tird of me or someone writing him & yes im insaquer & its childish but oh well its really messing with me why would he say he loves it & all of asuden not wount them i read all this stuff thease men r doing to us & wounder whats up we stell got along time 2 go (17yrs left) i just dont wount to get hurt so dose anyone have thoughts ? Shoukd i b worried or am i crazy ?
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:07 AM
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Write and ask him.. WHY?? Communication is key to any relationship and especially prison relationships!
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:26 AM
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Did he say he did not want you to write anymore or did he ask you not to send cards?
The guys have limited storage and cards actually take up a lot of room... besides that, and please don't think I'm jumping on you, I'm just relaying something I've been told more than once- Some people think cards are "lazy", that if someone sends cards instead of letters, they're kind of tryin' to act like they are staying in touch without making the effort to really communicate- Buy a card, add a sentence or two and Shazaam, you're done... much less time and energy than sitting down and filling a page or two. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but that is how some people see cards.
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:29 AM
MisslonelyHart MisslonelyHart is offline
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Lebeau is right my guy said they take up to much room
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:38 AM
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it could be a number of things.. so you need to ask him staright up why he said that & what he means..
did he mean to not send cards in particular or not to write no more???
like lebeau said some guys dont like cards all the time.. i know mine gets like that if i do it alot.. he finds it be like a half ass effort..
he dosent mind like when times i cant write etc.. he prefers it to nothing.. but if i start to do it & not sit & write properly, he feels like cards are too vague..mine likes details..
do you think he could be withdrawing?? some guys do that when in ad seg.. but not from ones they love.. so yeah.. does sound odd..
ask him..its the only way you will get answers.. were just going to make you more paranoid here..lol..
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:48 AM
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are the cards making him feel worse? some guys get into a little trouble and a letter gives them something to think about...are the cards giving him the idea you think what he's done is a joke? we know what you were trying to do: make him feel good, so its definitely not a question for any of us as to why you sent him so many cards. i agree with the other posters: cards take up more room, letters come across more sincere. try that and add a pic or two once in a while of something he's interested in
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeBeau View Post
Did he say he did not want you to write anymore or did he ask you not to send cards?
The guys have limited storage and cards actually take up a lot of room... besides that, and please don't think I'm jumping on you, I'm just relaying something I've been told more than once- Some people think cards are "lazy", that if someone sends cards instead of letters, they're kind of tryin' to act like they are staying in touch without making the effort to really communicate- Buy a card, add a sentence or two and Shazaam, you're done... much less time and energy than sitting down and filling a page or two. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but that is how some people see cards.
I think you need to ask him what he means by that. I agree with Lebeau in that he may just prefer letters, thinking he will get longer communication from those. A card can be sent with few words or less words anyhow, a letter on the other hand requires a more detailed communication. Or it maybe he is thinking of the cost on your part. If you add up the cost of cards daily it soon mounts up, especially if he's on a long bid, as opposed to letters which are much cheaper. When a person is on prison money living and store costs too they notice the little things and how much they could cost. Like Lebeau I am not saying the short card communication is what your doing, or being critical in any way. I am just thinking about myself and how I think if I get a card as opposed to a letter. I like a card, but I prefer a letter with it too just because I want to hear what's happening in his life etc. You just need to talk to him though and see what it is he is getting at in his comment though. If it is for none of the above reasons though I personally would be pretty put out, if I was asked for less written communication I mean. Like I say though it may well not be that he is getting at at all though. I hope it all goes well for you though, just speak to him and work it out from there
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:06 AM
thatwiz thatwiz is offline
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Cards as lazy-thats crazy-its good to see other pictures and things in the world than a white sheet of paper. I've been mailing old boy something every day for 7 years, so he's got a lot of everything and not once has he ever asked me to stop. If he's got to much paper, throw some of it out-there will be more. Letter writing is the poorest form of communication-its not like being there or even talking-so details in a letter if not used, someone said is lazy, what? maybe if you've never had an outside relationship, but a letter isn't all that serious-anyone can write anything effortlessly. Now, as for the poster, I would question his apprecation-really he should be happy he gets anything as its not a requirement. Its just a bad quality and he should have said why, instead of leaving it open. I would point blank ask him in a card!
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatwiz View Post
. Letter writing is the poorest form of communication-its not like being there or even talking-so details in a letter if not used, someone said is lazy, what? maybe if you've never had an outside relationship, but a letter isn't all that serious-anyone can write anything effortlessly.
when they are in ad seg & phone calls & visits arent an option.. letters is all that remains.. so the only way of communication.. and the equivalent of talking..
so ummm.. very serious..
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  #10  
Old 06-08-2010, 09:18 AM
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maybe in a letter you can say a lot more, dont ya think? i dont know ask him why...
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:06 PM
richieslady richieslady is offline
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Thank u im waiting 4 him 2 call & hit him up but just 2 let u all know there r letters n all the cards 4-8 pages &he not in ad seg no more he said he gots alot of cards so maybe it like u all say space or money but i dont know he just was tell me it makes him happy b 4 so it just kind of hurt my feelings i guess
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  #12  
Old 06-08-2010, 08:22 PM
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Last visit, My Mr had me pick up persoanl property because all the cards and song lyirics that he wanted to keep took up too much room in his "little grey box." That's all the storage he has for commissary, & hygiene. Also, at one facility he was at, the inmates can only keep so many before they have to throw some out. If they were caught with more than allowed they got a write-up. Their house, their rules. We may not understand it, but the inmate has to live it.
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