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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: WHAT AGE DO YOU TAKE YOUR CHILD O SEE THEIR OTHER PARENT
0-12 MONTHS 345 45.70%
1-3 YEARS 173 22.91%
4-7 104 13.77%
7 AND UP 133 17.62%
Voters: 755. You may not vote on this poll

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  #376  
Old 04-03-2014, 02:25 PM
Kris74 Kris74 is offline
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Originally Posted by tired View Post
It seems that my opnion is very different from the one's I've read here. My ex has been in for about 5 months,we have a 2 year old son and I have not taken him for visits. I feel that prison is no place for a child to go. He had plenty of chances to straighten up. He made his choices and must live with the fact that he may not see his son until he gets out. I feel that taking my son there will benefit his father more than it will benefit our son. I'm still debating this issue with myself and could change my mind at anytime. Am I just being a hard-ass? I find it hard to believe that I am the only one who feels this way.
sweetie, don't be too hard on yourself, ours is a very difficult situation and NO ONE knows the all the answers. I choose to take my kids, and I keep them in contact with him as much as I can, for me, its about my kids NEVER thinking their daddy doesn't love them. I get angry at him some, but never talk bad about him to them. I absolutely see your point, but it really is important for a child, of any age to have a good bond with the other parent, even if its only through stories. It is imperative to their mental health. but those are only my opinions, you have to live this everyday and you need to make the best decision for yourself and your child... good luck!
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  #377  
Old 08-20-2014, 12:40 AM
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4eva2getha 4eva2getha is offline
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I agree, I think its very important for the kids to see their parent(s). Both my daughters miss their dad so much, and we always have a great time at visits. He has different techniques on raising them, and its important for him to be involved.
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  #378  
Old 12-13-2014, 10:48 PM
unspokenhear84 unspokenhear84 is offline
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I remember my mom taking me to see my dad when I was younger. My dad would say thatvhe doesn't plan on being in long. He got out! But now he's back in. I want to trybto rebuild our relationship bit I don't know how??? I'm 30 and I'll be 31 in February. Is it too late? I really don't need a father figure anymore but I read that I should try to have a relationship with him in order to help him stay out. I don't know. I'mjjust upset he has been in and out. He didn't teach me how to do man things so I had to learn on my own but I love him. I don't know. I shouldn't even bother . never mind.
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  #379  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:01 PM
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I remember my mom taking me to see my dad when I was younger. My dad would say thatvhe doesn't plan on being in long. He got out! But now he's back in. I want to trybto rebuild our relationship bit I don't know how??? I'm 30 and I'll be 31 in February. Is it too late? I really don't need a father figure anymore but I read that I should try to have a relationship with him in order to help him stay out. I don't know. I'mjjust upset he has been in and out. He didn't teach me how to do man things so I had to learn on my own but I love him. I don't know. I shouldn't even bother . never mind.
Do it for you. You're right, you will never have that father that you needed and wanted as a child. But who knows what kind of relationship you may be able to develop--or what closure meeting with him may bring.

You need to start simple, at any rate. You will need to contact him in writing as he will need to place you on his visiting list. Through writing you can determine whether this is something that you wish to pursue.

Is it worth establishing a relationship with a parent when you are an adult? It all depends. If you have unanswered questions about family history or medical history, this is an opportunity to ask. Then there may be the questions about his life, where he was and what prevented him from being in your life...or, the opportunity to have some parent in your life now. Whether it is worth it or not is a question only you can answer.

If you decide to pursue this, please keep your expectations low. I would hate for you to be hurt further...but I really hope all goes well!
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  #380  
Old 10-16-2016, 01:12 AM
Cee_perez2829 Cee_perez2829 is offline
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Am I able to take in the formula that comes in the packets when I go visit to the prison? First time
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  #381  
Old 10-16-2016, 06:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tired View Post
It seems that my opnion is very different from the one's I've read here. My ex has been in for about 5 months,we have a 2 year old son and I have not taken him for visits. I feel that prison is no place for a child to go. He had plenty of chances to straighten up. He made his choices and must live with the fact that he may not see his son until he gets out. I feel that taking my son there will benefit his father more than it will benefit our son. I'm still debating this issue with myself and could change my mind at anytime. Am I just being a hard-ass? I find it hard to believe that I am the only one who feels this way.
If he was my ex I wouldn't even bother to visit.
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  #382  
Old 11-21-2016, 11:23 PM
hamsa hamsa is offline
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Originally Posted by Mayte View Post
hi everyone i am 12 years old and i have been going to see my father in prison since i was 8 years old! if u look up my scrren name dont worry i am not lying its just that this is my mother name not mine if u really wanna know how us kids feel about ging to see our fathers in those places then reply and i will love to reply to anyone with questins i've been though alot that some kids havent! thanx for listening

I would like to know what it's been like for you to visit. What's been helpful or not. ThAnkyou. Good luck to you.
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  #383  
Old 11-23-2016, 08:30 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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My grandson is 10 and has been visiting his Dad, our son, since he was 7. He loves his father and wants to visit. He has to sit in a chair and isn't allowed to talk with anyone outside of us but he can stand beside his Dad and hug him as long as he doesn't sit on his lap. He continually tells his Dad how much he misses him. Since they had a loving relationship prior he if we didn't take him, that might sever the relationship as his Dad has 4+ yrs left.

It's an individual decision.
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  #384  
Old 11-23-2016, 08:43 PM
hamsa hamsa is offline
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My husband is in a county jail. Visits are between glass. As of now I am not bringing them there. Maybe when he is moved. Two of them don't want to see him in jail. One does. I agree it's an individual decision. Best of luck to us all whom ever know if what we are doing is right or wrong. For me this is unfamiliar soil.
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