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Old 05-30-2006, 09:32 PM
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spooky77 spooky77 is offline
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Default <update>constantly harrassed for NOTHING.(long)

So I go to visit my fiance and I wear this plain black skirt (apostrophe brand from SEARS) it hits the top of my knee. I have worn this skirt so many times, at LEAST one day of every visiting weekend I have had since fall of 2001 (our first visit). It is something one could wear in an office, or even to a funeral without anyone questioning how appropriate it might be.

I got through processing without a hitch; I was told the CO who used to be a hardass about attire was no longer working at this facility. Women were going in with spaghetti straps and tank tops, semi-translucent tops that would have been "too sheer" before. So I wasn't worried about my plain black t-shirt and skirt.

After finally getting into the visiting room and making ridiculous lovey dovey eyes at each other for about 30 minutes the female CO came in from the desk outside the room and called me out to the place where she collects IDs and calls for the inmates to come down. She informed me that the CO in the room decided my skirt was too short when I sat down. I was ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK CORNER OF THE ROOM!!! He would have had to zoom the security camera straight up my skirt to have seen ANYTHING!

I'm a strong qand independent woman, but every single time this happens to me I break down in tears, no matter how hard I fight it. I hate it, it means in all our photos I look puffy and my make-up is less than flawless, it means my man gets upset because he can always tell. I cry because it's humiliating to me, but more than that I cry because I can't bear to lose even a few minutes of time with my man, I travel 3,000 miles and spend about a grand to see him and I am generally sleepless, hungry and tense by the time I am inside processing.

For once I hadn't brought a change of clothes. Even the COs at the processing desk were a little put out that I hadn't been admitted. I had to go to the trailer provided by whomever to find something to wear. Unfortunately the only things that seemed to be in my size were Dark Green, Brown and Navy Blue PANTS!!!! I mean, they looked like they could have been from the CDC cast-off box!!! I knew I'd never be admitted in those colors.

Then I spotted a skirt, a grey sweatshirt material, FLOOR LENGTH paisley print ugly skirt I would NEVER wear. I felt a smile creep across my lips as I donned the ridiculous garment and decided I'd strut back in with a grin on my face.

I had to go through the metal detector, wait for the bus again and the female CO told me I needed to make sure that the CO at the podium in the visiting room knew I was back. Meaning I had to walk in front of everyone. Including a few other visitors that knew me and had seen me sent back to change before. Never you mind the tank tops, skin-tight camel toe pants and see through dresses all over the place!!!

I strolled in, flashed the sign of the horns to my man with a huge smile on my face and made *THAT* skirt more obvious and more appealing (according to my man the first thing he thought about was how maybe he could *hide* under it!!!) then anything in my wardrobe ever could have been. The CO simply gestured for me to go to my seat, clearly disgruntled that he couldn't ruin my day.

The next morning the CO in the lot asked if my hair was real or a wig (it's blue and cut with bangs) I told him it was mine, he informed me...
"You might not get let in with that hair."
"Really? I was hear yesterday and even got a couple of compliments." I replied, startled.
"Well, I'm just saying, it depends on who is there. I would not let you in like that."
"Because my hair is blue?" I was incredulous.
"And they're going to make you change that shirt."

Luckily nothing happened. I got in and teased the CO about my skirt being longer that day. He ledt us alone that day, although he put me right by the camera.


I REALLY try so hard to dress like a NUN almost. I understand about the rules and stuff, but WHY can't they be enforced consistently?

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Old 05-30-2006, 09:55 PM
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FreelyCuffed FreelyCuffed is offline
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Girl, I hate to laugh at your story im sure it wasnt funny then but i have been in the same situation as you time and time again. I have changed so many times it is countless. and they really are never fair. Some girls can go in with see through while our turtle neck is too tight. go figure. anyway, im glad that the co didnt ruin your day and im sure you looked more beautiful in that ugly skirt than anyone ever. Thanks for your story,

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Old 05-30-2006, 10:11 PM
bcbc_is bcbc_is is offline
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Dress like an old woman then your always safe. They look for reasons to humiliate you. Its authority abuse and from people who aren't very educated and they get a thrill on abusing their power.
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Old 05-31-2006, 06:54 AM
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LeBeau LeBeau is offline
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Dress like you're going to lunch at some ritzy country club or heading to church with a grandmother upon whom you wish to make a good impression.
I agree that it would be an improvement if the dress code had some real and consistant meaning but unfortunately, it is their house....and they seem to have some odd form of dementia with regard to the capricious application of the rules.

I have not yet had anyone bat an eye at anything I've worn, but it does bug me when I see one girl get no static for a top I would wear to a bar but not in daylight and another gal gets refused for a shirt that shows nothing.

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Old 05-31-2006, 07:08 AM
haswtch haswtch is offline
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You didn't realize blue hair is a threat to institutional security???? (j/K)
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Old 05-31-2006, 07:45 AM
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spooky77 spooky77 is offline
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I always wear all black. It seems when I wear anything else it is deemed "too revealing" I'm a thick, but very curvy, busty, shapely kind of girl, and lighter colors seem to accentuate this, of course. When I used to visit at a different prison they *never* bothered me.

*sigh* there will be an annual review and a drop in custody level (I hope, I mean, they've been promising this for 2 YEARS!) in August, then we can get family visits and I can wear all kinds of trashy stuff for him!!!

Thanks for "listening". I do try to dress as bland as possible. I have bought outfits I'd NEVER wear in a million years to see him. I just have to accept the fact that there are scores of women who will get in wearing things I'd never be allowed in wearing.

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Old 06-04-2006, 03:43 PM
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mrschris mrschris is offline

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sorry you're being bugged. just dress in a way so that you don't break ANY rules at all, even if it means not being a diva for the day.

i dress plainly all the time. if my man wants to see me "cutsied up", then he'll stay out of prison

as far as the blue hair thing goes, i would have asked for his name and reported him to his warden. that sounds like a very biased comment. or, i would have said, "but it's not up to YOU to let me in or not, now is it?" and smiled smugly at him, and THEN asked for his name and reported him to his warden.

that's just me though. hehe.
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Last edited by mrschris; 06-04-2006 at 03:45 PM..
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Old 06-04-2006, 04:00 PM
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Patty Patty is offline

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Not to make light of your experience but I can't get the image of you in the sweatshirt material, FLOOR LENGTH paisley print ugly skirt out of my head. I can almost see you in all your glory walking towards your man and the very thought of you running through his head. Three words come to mind: PRICELESS, GORGEOUS, AMAZING!

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Old 06-04-2006, 04:28 PM
joybubby joybubby is offline
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So sorry you're getting harrased like this but the story about the ugly skirt is great. Good for you.
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