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  #26  
Old 01-18-2021, 11:32 AM
MissGumdrop MissGumdrop is offline
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It sounds like your friend set a specific boundary and has kept it that way. You may have to write a few more ladies to find one you can build a friendship with. You have to realize that when you write a total stranger you are throwing a shot in the dark. Yes you might connect from their little write up but you never know what type of person they are until you write them. Be up front but not crass about it. Write a letter talking about yourself and finish it off by saying hey I am just looking for someone to talk to. If that isn't okay then don't write back. Simple as that.

As for sending money that's entirely on you. On the inside or outside I make it a rule that I NEVER give money and expect it back in any way shape or form. I just give it IF I have it to give. Don't go giving money as if an inmate is some sorta friendship investment haha. Give money IF you want to and IF you wouldn't be bothered by that money being gone. Who doesn't want to help a friend in need? Especially when you've been friends a while. Im not saying send a friggin allowance but I don't see a problem in sending a few bucks once in a while to say hey I thought of you. Like taking a friend out for dinner or coffee.

Think about a really genuine way to express what you are looking for. Think about why it is you are really doing this. Its not really about anyone else's experiences. You are your own person. Set boundaries and write until you find the connection you are looking for. If that seems like too much trouble maybe this isn't the right way for you to seek friendship.
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  #27  
Old 01-22-2021, 03:52 AM
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aestheticoflove aestheticoflove is offline
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Itís an interesting thread and such a good question was asked - why do people do it, if thereís the common occurrence of being asked (or in many cases, hinted around itís needed) for money. Iíve written to people incarcerated for several years now and absolutely, so many people were hell bent on warning me Iíd just be looked at as a meal ticket or worse, that it was dangerous and my pen pals were sitting around plotting to murder me (which is pretty ridiculous.) Or people automatically assume Iím doing it looking for romance or attraction to people in prison because people love making assumptions and stereotyping others, when everyone has various reasons for why they write to prisoners. Absolutely, people have tried to build up a connection of friendship and then hint around they were broke, some people Iíve written to had a lot of money on the outside and sent me gifts, some people Iíve offered because I asked them for some help with creative projects and I wanted to be fair. Some prisoners want to give to others, some want simply to take. Iíve always gotten a lot out of it all - itís good to have limits because there are people who canít manage their money and just beg family, friends, and pen pals for it - with whatever sob story of the week, and quite often theyíre doing drugs. Itís sad to see that, because itís such self-destructive behavior, but it happens. I think, too, if people arenít used to having a lot of money, and that suddenly falls into their lap, they donít know how to be practical with it and will always be expecting thereís more.
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